Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:36.643)
Hey, I'm Shawn.

Shannon (00:38.273)
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun (00:40.299)
and we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Welcome to Thursday Night Family. Oh, and tonight is not just another Thursday with Wifey and Baby Mama. Oh no, tonight we're firing the hot show alarm, okay? We have a special guest with us tonight. We have Amber, the boss lady herself joining us tonight. Amber, introduce yourself.

Shannon (00:51.839)
No.

Hehehe

Shannon (01:01.32)
Alright!

amber (01:04.206)
Hi everyone, my name is Amber. You know, married, three kids. As Sean said, the bossy one. So this is who I am. I'm not bossy, I'm really not bossy. I just, you know, I have tunnel vision and I need things done as they should be.

Shannon (01:13.569)
Hehehehe

Shun (01:25.939)
Amber we tell the truth on our show now. We don't come over here with that amber

Shannon (01:26.157)
That's...

amber (01:29.375)
Excuse me, I'm not bossy. I just want things to be where they need to be and if I ask you to do something, just do it.

Shannon (01:29.638)
Ha ha.

Shannon (01:35.073)
There you go.

There you go. Well, yes, and welcome Amber. We love having guests. So we're so excited that you're with us tonight.

Shun (01:39.151)
Persistent so that's the word you prefer persistence Thank you amber

amber (01:41.238)
There we go, there we go.

amber (01:48.014)
Thank you.

amber (01:52.706)
Thank you.

Shun (01:52.907)
Yes, and audience you get a trifecta of opinions and experience instead of just shannon and my you know Ex thug life now living for christ stories You can get another opinion and I think we can all agree that guest night is the best night. Okay?

Shannon (02:09.173)
Hell yeah, for sure. For sure.

amber (02:11.15)
Hehehe

Shun (02:13.527)
And as if having amber on didn't set y'all off for tonight. We have the october redline winner of the month You know, we've been waiting to get to this third thursday tonight And we'll be reading the submission for our first winner of the wife and baby mama end of the year giveaway And if you missed the october deadline be sure to get your submissions in for november and december and keep in mind If you're not selected for this giveaway your um

Submissions will stay in and you know, we'll we're playing throughout the year only thing that goes away You won't win a book with the with the hundred dollars, but guess what you getting a hundred dollars So buy the book so it's still a win-win, right? We're wife and baby mommy I heard me every third Thursday as a month is a chance to put a few extra dollars in your pocket So get in submissions and yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot, but we like to keep you guys entertained and informed So now the information is out

Shannon (02:51.853)
You got that right.

amber (02:53.488)
Absolutely.

Shun (03:06.019)
Let's get some real going on and I'm sure we have a little entertainment too with this boss lady joining us tonight. So Tonight's topic is titled Who raised you now? I know most of us have heard that slogan who raised you right when someone does something outrageous or Simply the door open when you walked out your grandparents would say did you ever ladies hear that? Were you raised in a barn a barn? Did you ladies that I said? Okay. That's not a country thing. Okay, so

amber (03:10.535)
Yeah!

Shannon (03:11.97)
Heheheheh.

Shannon (03:18.829)
Who raised you?

amber (03:21.902)
I'm ready to write.

Shannon (03:31.521)
Uh huh. Yep, oh yeah.

amber (03:31.749)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Hehehe

Shun (03:36.419)
But in this episode, we're not referring to doors, but the different ways in which children who are brought up in the same home can sometimes take different paths. Now, Amber, you came to mind with this episode because having a son and a daughter and raising them pretty much as a single mom, I thought you could offer some insight on how and if your kids turned out different as young adults. And if you find yourself asking, who raised you a lot like I do with my middle daughter child?

amber (03:39.427)
Mm-hmm.

amber (03:46.082)
Mm-hmm.

amber (03:50.019)
Mm-hmm.

amber (04:05.344)
Yeah, yeah, I asked that question a lot, especially with like, Bianca, because, you know, if I had another kid, I would be, she would be the middle child, right? So it's like, it kind of is crazy because when they were younger, Brandon was, quote unquote, the problem child. And as

Shun (04:06.491)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Shun (04:16.623)
Mm-hmm.

amber (04:30.914)
they got older, the roles switched. So, yeah, they're like night and day, you know what I mean? It's like, Bianca is, she's a, God, what do you call her? A rebel. She's a rebel. She's gonna do what she wants to do. She's gonna, she's going to find out the hard way nine times out of 10. And...

Shun (04:59.698)
Mm-hmm.

amber (05:00.602)
versus Brandon where you can talk to him and he's going to listen to you and 85% of what you say to him is going to sink in. So yeah, they definitely are different. Definitely. Yes.

Shun (05:10.895)
Okay.

Shun (05:16.443)
And it's just unique because same mom, same house, you know what I mean? Same values, same opportunities. Yeah, yeah, like my middle daughter, it's day and night from the other girls. And it's definitely who raised you when it come to Frank some days. But he's five, so I'm not too concerned. But that middle daughter of mine, I just look at her like, you know, what did I do? You know, and all I can say girl is God is able sometimes. Now, Shannon, I know you only have one child, right? And-

amber (05:20.742)
Yeah, same mom, same house. Yeah, absolutely.

amber (05:27.271)
Mm-hmm.

Right. And it's so funny.

amber (05:40.457)
Right.

Shun (05:45.283)
You don't have a comparison to make as far as differences in gender. But even single parents can relate to this. I know is it days that you look at your only son and my oldest stepson and say what happened? Where did I go wrong? Does that happen with you too?

Shannon (05:57.882)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, but even my siblings, you know, when I look at the four of us, when I say the four of us, the four of my mother's children, I don't mean to offend my baby sister with daddy, but the four of us who were raised together, how different we all are. And you would think we were raised by different people, some of us anyway, won't call their names.

Shun (06:05.295)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (06:23.759)
Hehehe

amber (06:25.134)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shannon (06:26.045)
You would think there was something different, but there's nothing. It's like same mom, same stepdad, you know, same household, same values, going to church every day, you know, um, believing in God and all of this. And then you look at some of us today, it's like, Hmm, okay. Um, you're, you're not, you know, you don't believe in God. That's, that's, that's odd. Um, and how to, how did you get there? You know, cause your parents didn't take you there. So how'd you get there?

Shun (06:50.157)
right.

amber (06:50.255)
How did you get here?

Shannon (06:55.925)
So looking at individuals like that, that's like, or even people that you see on TV and you wonder how they ended up being a serial killer and their mom and dad are just so perfect. You just, you never know, you know? So, and how do you look at yourself? And I try now even with my son, because I wanted to raise him differently than how I was raised. And we all do, most of us as parents, we all wanna do different.

amber (07:08.474)
you never know

Shun (07:21.979)
Mm-hmm. Right. Want to do better.

amber (07:23.242)
Right.

Shannon (07:25.625)
Oh yeah, we want to do better or we think we're better even if you know our life wasn't that bad because mine wasn't But I still feel felt like I could do so much better But what I learned with my son, which I've talked about before I tried to run from My parents style so much that I think I end up doing more harm, you know Yeah, instead of taking the good that I was given I tried to squash it all so now

amber (07:43.914)
Thank you.

Shun (07:46.875)
So you ran out?

amber (07:48.427)
Mm-hmm.

amber (07:52.007)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (07:55.549)
Not saying I have a bad son, but I could have had a better son, you know, if I would have done better. But yeah, we got to think about, you know, when we look back and try to criticize our own parents for what they how they raised us, like, Oh, who raised you? Yeah, my mother raised me. She did the best she could. And when I look at her, yeah, my mother was 20 with three kids, 20 years old with three kids.

amber (07:58.19)
Thanks for watching!

amber (08:08.202)
Right.

amber (08:14.457)
Absolutely.

amber (08:20.021)
Yeah.

Shannon (08:20.793)
Not only was she self-sufficient, she bought a house. It's like who in the 70s black in the 70s buys a house? And then she went on to join the Air Force. So our lives were set up. She set it up for us to where we would have prosperity. We would have a good life. And those are things that she did at a young age. So of course the other stuff that she fell down on, the basic mothering stuff, I can't fault her for that.

amber (08:26.718)
Bye.

amber (08:37.327)
Mm-hmm.

amber (08:49.862)
Right. Yeah.

Shannon (08:51.009)
soon.

Shun (08:52.251)
But yeah, I mean, go ahead, Amber.

amber (08:55.018)
No, I'm just, I'm taking it all in because, you know, me and my mom had these, have these conversations. And, you know, when we were younger, you know, it was, we all took different paths. You know, my brother went one, my brothers went one way. It's three of us, you know, two brothers and me. And my brothers went one way and I went another way. And I was...

Shun (08:57.699)
disagree.

Shun (09:16.079)
Mm-hmm.

amber (09:23.47)
quote unquote a problem child because my mother was so protective of me as a as a young girl, you know, so it was like Don't write so it was like you can't do this You can't do that. You got to be in the house at a certain time and I'm like, oh, I'm not having that like no, you know so The problem child and me was not coming home when I was supposed to but versus my brothers that took the life of

Shun (09:29.519)
We've talked about that before on the show a lot. Yes

Shun (09:41.211)
Thank you.

amber (09:51.798)
the street life, you know what I'm saying? So, and so now my mother is saying, where did I go wrong? And I'm like, mom, you didn't go wrong. You taught us everything that we needed to know. It's just the fact that they chose that life. It's their choice. They chose that life.

Shun (09:53.399)
Right.

Shannon (09:53.525)
Yeah, yeah.

Shun (10:05.935)
That's right. And yeah, it's so much even as life, our choices we make, our decisions we make, patterns we take, it's even like the personalities in your kids, right? Like I laugh every time I see this post on social media that says, when you see your children like living life totally against the standards you taught them, and all you can say is I did my best. You ever see that? I did my best, you know? I can relate to that in so many ways.

Shannon (10:06.477)
Right.

Shannon (10:19.146)
Nah.

amber (10:29.83)
Yeah, I definitely did that.

Shannon (10:30.12)
No.

Shun (10:35.243)
And it cracks me up like every time but not just with the discipline and problem problems with my middle daughter is even with my oldest daughter You know this girl get on social media and post some of the wildest crap you ever seen right? She's so quiet Me, you know, she's smart hard working and she just act the phone on social media and people text me and tag and be like What's wrong with your kid? I'm like, I don't know. I did I did all I could I did the best I could so So it's not even that she's a problem. She's a great kid or she

amber (10:35.563)
Right.

Shannon (10:35.779)
Thank you.

Shannon (10:46.145)
Ha ha

amber (10:46.715)
Yeah.

amber (10:52.536)
Thank you.

Shannon (10:52.723)
Yeah.

Shannon (10:59.053)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

amber (10:59.312)
Right, right, right.

Shun (11:03.403)
Plays the video games to three four in the morning screaming keeping the whole house up, you know, clean your room up It's like you 24 kid Yeah, it's like you're 24, but all you can say right is I did my best because you know

Shannon (11:07.956)
Hahaha!

amber (11:08.031)
Mm-hmm. Yep, I have one of those. I have one of those.

Shannon (11:10.805)
Yeah. Hehehehe.

Yeah.

amber (11:15.758)
Absolutely. Because we don't have a book to this. You know, you do what you do. You know what I'm saying? So the things that I took from my mother as far as being a mother, because to me in my eyes, my mother was a great mother. There was things that she did that I didn't like as I got older and seen it. And I said I would never do that with my daughter. You know what I mean? And I stand true to that. It may have slipped up.

Shannon (11:18.189)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (11:22.264)
That's it.

Shannon (11:22.442)
Right.

Shun (11:34.745)
Right.

amber (11:45.234)
a couple times, but I stand true to it. Not intentionally, it's just sometimes, you know, kids can take you there. So kids can take you there. And I just said to a friend of mine, like, people can't move me, but my kids can move me. They can take me to a level that nobody can take me to. But.

Shannon (11:46.845)
Yeah, yeah. Right, right.

Shun (11:47.769)
Not intentionally.

Shannon (11:53.963)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (11:54.044)
Girl ha preach to the choir

Shannon (12:10.529)
Right.

Shun (12:10.691)
I think it's because when we think about the sacrifices and stuff we made for them, you know, and stuff we didn't get so that they could have, that makes you gonna be like, girl, boy, don't play with me. I get it.

amber (12:15.232)
Yeah!

Yeah.

Shannon (12:20.733)
Yeah, but I look at that differently remember Sean we talked a little bit about this on another podcast. I don't When you think about your sacrifices that you make for your kids And I know I get beat up for this all the time and my sisters everyone comes for me whenever I make the statement I don't feel I made sacrifices for my son because I chose to have him. I chose to bring him here That was my choice. He didn't choose to be here. So any heartache I suffer because he's here. That's on me

I don't feel like he owes me for bringing him into the world.

Shun (12:51.895)
No, they don't owe you but No, no, I think you missed. Yeah, you misconstrued the point we're saying once you're older once they're older shannon and they have responsibility and they have choices to make and they keep Continuing to make bad choices and you're like I didn't raise you that way. I didn't raise you that way

amber (12:52.19)
No, I don't feel like they owe me anything because they're right.

Shannon (12:55.763)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (13:01.025)
Mm-hmm.

amber (13:06.562)
bad choices. Right. And that's the thing that I say to her all the time. Like who raised you? Because I know I didn't raise you that way. You understand what I'm saying? So where did you get? Where did you get this from? Yeah.

Shannon (13:09.033)
Yeah, yeah.

Shun (13:15.592)
So that's why I said when this when this title can I say amber I'm good there because I know you could relate to me But we tell our stories all the time. So we love a different opinion a different voice, you know

Shannon (13:16.051)
Yeah, yeah.

amber (13:24.91)
Absolutely, yeah, because I feel like a lot of people, a lot of women, a lot of women hold in things about their kids because they feel like it's embarrassing. But to me it's like, come on now, so many women go through, right, but at the end of the day, so many women go through things like this. I'm not embarrassed about whatever my kids have done. I'm not embarrassed because...

Shannon (13:26.707)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (13:38.608)
Oh yeah.

Shun (13:38.681)
Right.

Shun (13:42.444)
I did my best.

Shannon (13:44.526)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Shun (13:49.526)
and

amber (13:54.414)
To me, you gotta go through things to learn things. To me, if you share it, if you share it, that's one mother that says, oh my God, I'm not alone.

Shun (13:59.183)
That's right.

Shannon (13:59.213)
That's true. Yep.

Shannon (14:07.101)
Right, right, exactly. Yep.

Shun (14:07.311)
Well, that's why we do these podcasts every week amber I'm so happy to hear you say that shannon and I stay all the time We try to sit every week if we can help one person understand you're not alone You're not the first one to go through it. You won't be the last one to go through it But we try to help them grow through it and try to avoid making the decisions we make before you get to our age You know what i'm saying?

amber (14:13.355)
Do you love her?

Shannon (14:14.381)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (14:18.43)
Right.

amber (14:21.838)
Mmm.

Shannon (14:22.876)
Mm-hmm.

amber (14:25.583)
Right, right. You know, my child, yeah.

Shannon (14:26.981)
Exactly, and exactly and to the young people to the young people We want to make sure because a lot of them feel like how I felt. Oh, I got to do different from my mother And it's fine to do a little different, but you got to take the good you got to remember the good So when i'm looking at these posts from all of my nieces and my you know God-daughters and all this and they're thinking they're the perfect parent. I don't know if you all see the same post I see

amber (14:40.602)
Right. You gotta take the good.

amber (14:46.855)
and

Shannon (14:53.377)
from the people under the age of 25 or under the age of 30. And they're like, oh, my child is this and my child is that. It's like, OK, but you got to understand, where did you get your experience? Where did you get all this know-how and knowledge? Exactly. So how are you thinking you're better and you're smarter and this and that? Yeah, you've learned some things from, this is more of the information aids. So yeah, you can go out and Google a whole bunch of stuff and all of that. But still, your basics.

amber (14:53.392)
Hehehe

Shun (14:57.167)
Mm-hmm.

amber (15:05.834)
Right, you got it from your parents. You know, because.

Shun (15:08.855)
Mm-hmm. Or.

amber (15:17.306)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (15:23.445)
Um, you have a lot of this common sense, you know, you don't, you didn't need anybody to teach you not to leave your daughter alone with some old man. Cause a lot of us have gone through all of that. And these little young girls I see today, they're like, Oh yeah, I would never do that. But then it's like, Oh, but he's off with his, you know, the baby daddy somewhere. And you it's like, but who's, who's your child with? You don't know. So you might, you might be doing exactly what your mother did that caused you to go through some trauma.

amber (15:27.254)
We didn't need it.

amber (15:31.027)
Right.

Shun (15:31.268)
Right.

That's right.

amber (15:45.108)
You don't know.

Shannon (15:52.649)
because you're thinking you're so much smarter. And yeah.

amber (15:56.211)
Yeah.

Shun (15:56.323)
right. But it goes to it goes back to what you said with the mothers, you know, I'm doing a good job. I love the post from the mothers who got a seven month old or two year old. So I'm the best. I'm a great mom. And I'll be sending myself Oh, baby, keep living them little sneakers is cute. And honey, them little rats is cute. You let me holler me about being a mama when they're about 15 baby, you didn't have to do it. Holler at me. So those are the funniest posts to me.

amber (16:12.13)
You keep living. Yeah.

Shannon (16:12.83)
No, I know, I know.

Shannon (16:18.989)
Ah ha.

amber (16:19.794)
You know what? This is the funniest thing. This is the funniest thing. My mother told me when I was when my kids were young because they're only 14 months apart. She said, Amber, now is not the time when your kids really, really need you. It's when they turn teenagers that you need to be. And then I thought about it, you know, my mom was a single mom. So she worked two to three jobs. She wasn't home. She wasn't home.

So when I had kids, I said to myself, I need to be home from like five on. So I definitely need a job where I can be home after five. I need to stay, I need to be in, I need to be in that time zone because I know from me and my brothers that we did, what went on when my mother wasn't home?

Shannon (16:48.715)
Bye.

Shun (17:01.955)
Right. That's right.

Shannon (17:02.581)
Right.

Shun (17:12.128)
What went on when mama went home?

Shannon (17:13.953)
Mm-hmm.

amber (17:16.63)
You understand? Yeah, I know what we did. I understand what we did. And I think that because I was home after five and they couldn't get away with a lot of things. Now they got away with stuff, but they couldn't get away with a lot, you know, because not only was I, not only was I there, my mother was there, you know, and she didn't have that with her mother.

Shun (17:18.087)
Yes, absolutely.

Shannon (17:20.446)
Right.

Shannon (17:42.561)
Yeah.

Shun (17:42.618)
Mm-hmm.

amber (17:46.57)
My mother, you know, she, her mother was supportive, but not as supportive as I feel my mother was with my kids, right. So it was like, you couldn't maneuver a lot, like in regards to my kids. You couldn't maneuver a lot. And it was like, you know, I've been there, done that. Just like we had the discussion, I should have been dead. I should have been in jail because of the things that I did.

Shun (17:47.107)
Right.

Shun (17:52.535)
Your mom is with your kids. I get it.

amber (18:16.214)
because my parent, who was a single parent, had three jobs to take care of us.

Shannon (18:23.433)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shun (18:25.839)
right and it's like it's like when you hear those stories of sacrifices you know my mom of course I you know you guys know she had she was in a she was addicted she had trouble with the streets and you said your mom was in the airport like it's like three different we all live three different lives you know what I'm saying and but we all got to this place that were successful black women right because we figured it out and look you know it's like you said

amber (18:27.408)
Come on now, like, mm-mm.

Shannon (18:43.158)
Right, right, yeah, yeah.

amber (18:43.324)
Right.

amber (18:47.383)
Yeah.

Shannon (18:48.533)
Mm-hmm.

amber (18:54.314)
No guys.

Shun (18:55.587)
We can raise them we sacrifice we guide them we can give them the finest thing But we can ensure we'll all turn out all good no matter what we do, right? so sometimes we just have to let them walk it out like you said amber and Allow the universe and time to do his thing, you know, as long as you taught them the word Given your children a good solid foundation We always have to believe that they'll turn around and get it and get it right sooner or later because we

amber (18:57.078)
Yeah.

Shannon (19:03.753)
No matter what.

amber (19:08.469)
Walk it out.

Shannon (19:09.997)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (19:13.555)
Yeah.

amber (19:14.018)
Yeah. Night.

Shannon (19:22.072)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

amber (19:22.79)
And the funny thing is, mob kids know the Bible better than I do. I stand true to, I believe in God, I pray to him, I do all of that. But when they were younger, I put them in a daycare that was, you know, based on, you know, God and everything, you know, so it was taught to them. So they can recite stuff from the Bible that I cannot.

Shun (19:27.956)
Okay

Shannon (19:35.183)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (19:53.233)
Mm-hmm. Heh heh heh.

Shun (19:54.412)
But they'll still make yeah, but they'll still make choices that you wouldn't make Because that sometimes life is the best teacher girl, I'm telling you

amber (19:55.267)
Reset But they still make that but they still make them stupid choices

Shannon (20:01.213)
Hahaha!

amber (20:04.478)
And then I go like and say, who raised you? Ha ha! Who raised you?

Shannon (20:04.569)
Oh yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yep.

Shun (20:07.795)
Who raised you now amber is it's another point just one more point I want to cut you up touch on seeing that this is a blended family podcast, right? And I just want to specifically ask you this Having raised your two children solo, right at least for a while then getting married later on in life and gaining another little handsome Man, you know from your husband who is younger right than your biological children Do you see a difference as far as discipline or guidance? You know now having the opportunity to say i'm gonna tell your daddy

amber (20:13.535)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

amber (20:24.228)
Right.

Right, right. Yeah, right.

Shannon (20:33.519)
Oh yeah.

amber (20:34.462)
No

Shun (20:37.051)
Because I girl I keep that one in my back pocket, you know versus me raising the girls alone You know, so I guess what I'm asking is it easier or is it just routine because you've already raised us off

Shannon (20:37.901)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

amber (20:39.226)
Okay. Now I'll see.

amber (20:47.566)
So this is the thing, right? So Scotty was in prison for, from the time Devon was born until he was about 10. So he knew Scotty, he, you know, his mother, his mother and his father made sure that he had a relationship with him.

Shun (21:06.948)
Okay.

amber (21:17.823)
Right? So his mom moved to North Carolina when he was a baby. So.

amber (21:28.782)
When I met Scotty, well, let me backtrack a little bit. I met Scotty in high school. We went to the senior prom together. We were together for a while, and then we just drifted apart. Many, many years over the years, you know, I was like, damn, I wonder how he's doing, you know, whatever, but I just didn't have anybody that I knew that knew him to tell me how he was doing. Cause I always wondered, cause he was such a sweet guy in high school.

Fast forward, you know, how we met back up is because his cousin, I knew his cousin and he was on Facebook and said that his cousin was about, you know how they say touchdown when they about to get out of prison, right? It's touchdown. And I said, oh shoot, like, you know, so I inboxed his cousin and said, you know, tell him.

Shun (22:15.511)
Man, about to touch down.

Shannon (22:17.281)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Ha ha ha.

amber (22:26.394)
hi, you know, I was always wondering. I thought he was moved out of town, you know, because I had never seen him, you know, so So, you know Right sort of exactly this is where me and you Sean you know have so much in common because of the fact that Scotty had been in prison most of his adult life

Shun (22:32.591)
You say, you know, it's on paid vacation by the fence. My husband took one of them two, child. He took a couple of them, but go ahead.

Shannon (22:34.861)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Hehehe

Shun (22:55.429)
Mm-hmm.

amber (22:59.468)
So he didn't have that privilege to raise his son up until about 10. So when we got together, he told me about his son, blah, blah. And the first time he went to see his son, I went with him because moving up day, he was in fifth grade. So he says, you coming? And I said, no, I'm not coming because.

This is your first time seeing your son. He doesn't need to see me. He don't need to see me. He needs to see you. He needs to focus on you. He don't need to know who I am at this point. So, after that, I met his mother and all of that and whatever the case may be. Now fast forward, around seventh grade, Scotty says to me, he needs to come.

live with us because I need to, you know, be in his life or whatever, whatever case may be. So he came. Yeah, absolutely. So he came here. He came here and, you know, in that age, you know, they're more, that age, you know, they just, they're here and they're like, you know, whatever, they go with the flow.

Shun (23:58.599)
with them. And you know we know black boys need their daddies honey. It's like just like water.

Shannon (23:59.613)
Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah.

amber (24:21.902)
As they turn into teenagers, as they turn into teenagers, this is a different vibe. Now, to me, I've been blessed because Devon is a very laid back kind of person, kind of a younger adult, young teenager, whatever you wanna say. He's so laid back, very bright, but he's feeling himself now, you know, yes.

Shannon (24:22.381)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (24:41.027)
Yes, he is so manable. Yeah, he's a really manable little boy Love him Oh, yeah, it's that age

amber (24:50.086)
It's that age. I'm like he's smelling himself, you know, so Um, I haven't had that I haven't had many problems with him, but i'm very old school So it's like when you walk into a room you speak When you come in the house you speak And he's a teenager. So If I had to say it's just that like I

Shun (25:06.127)
You speak.

Mm-hmm Right

Shun (25:16.916)
Just a teenager.

Shannon (25:16.921)
Oh wow.

amber (25:18.35)
Yeah, just being a teenager. Um, I... He blended right in with the other kids. He definitely...but my kids are very inviting. You know what I mean? They're just like...they're like me. They're like me. So it's like, okay, I'm gonna give you this chance until you do something stupid. You know what I mean? That's how they act.

Shun (25:20.895)
And he just blended right in with their other kids. I love that. I love that part.

That's good.

Shannon (25:28.618)
Oh, love that.

Beautiful.

Shun (25:41.531)
Hehehehe

Shannon (25:42.879)
Mm-hmm.

amber (25:43.422)
That's how I am. I'm so inviting to people. So it's like until you do me wrong, we good. So, yeah, I just feel like the mind is just like.

Shannon (25:50.572)
Yeah.

Shun (25:51.192)
That's right.

amber (26:01.722)
He's a good kid. He's really a good kid, but we're going through the teenage stage of his life. But, right, but at the same time, I took the approach of, let me fall back. Let me let Scotty be a parent because he hasn't been a full-time parent. I've been there. I've done that.

Shun (26:10.235)
child I'm gonna pray for you.

Shannon (26:12.353)
I'm going to go.

Shannon (26:22.189)
There you go.

Shun (26:24.332)
Mm-hmm.

amber (26:28.798)
I've made good choices, I've made bad choices, I've made, you know what I'm saying? And when you need me, I'm here.

Shun (26:28.963)
Right.

Shannon (26:29.096)
Mm-mm.

Shun (26:37.42)
That's it. That's the recipe when you need me. Well, thank you for that, Amber. I just wanted to know, like I said, with the podcast being on blended families, I'm like, let me touch on that and see how that works out. And so it's just another example that it can work, just like Shannon and I work, and just like our kids work, just like our husbands or friends. It works if you do the work and just everybody's mature.

amber (26:37.515)
Right.

Will you name me? I'm here.

Shannon (26:48.273)
Mm-hmm.

amber (26:48.586)
Yeah.

Shannon (26:51.973)
Oh yeah. Exactly, exactly, yeah.

amber (26:52.154)
It can't work.

amber (26:56.11)
Absolutely. And I was like, Oh my God. And I was not, I was not sure because I'm like, okay, how is his son's mother going to be? You understand what I'm saying? I don't, I don't play that rah stuff. I'm too old. I don't know. I'm not doing it because as soon as I see that me and Scotty would have been over, cause I don't have time for that.

Shannon (27:07.774)
Ah, huh.

Shun (27:08.719)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (27:17.185)
Mm-hmm.

amber (27:23.558)
We're not about to do this because to me as my mother raised me to be, kids are off limits. Kids are off limits. If you come into a relationship and the woman has kids or the man has kids, you treat those kids with respect as your own. All of that. They have nothing to do with the adult situation. Nothing.

Shannon (27:25.575)
Right.

Shun (27:30.895)
That's right. Absolutely.

Shannon (27:31.073)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (27:41.953)
as your own.

Shannon (27:43.861)
That's right. Yeah.

Shannon (27:50.657)
That's right.

Shun (27:50.775)
Absolutely, and we preach that from the beginning of this podcast and I'm happy that you said that But we have a red line to get to so thank you Amber for sharing now ladies I think we'll lead the people with this guys on this topic of who raised you our Opinion only know it as the moms who figured it out the simple key You know or maybe someone was a recipe some of us who say recipe key is men like raise if you're raising single

amber (27:52.952)
And that's how it's always been. Absolutely.

Shannon (27:55.176)
Mm-hmm, yeah.

Shannon (28:01.329)
All right, thank you Amber.

amber (28:02.229)
Okay. Yeah.

amber (28:11.075)
Yeah!

Shun (28:20.291)
Girls raise that woman to be someone you will want to marry raise her to be a wife for another man And men and women if we're raising sons raise those boys to be leaders Raise them to be leaders of families and if it turns out any other way, you know That's between them in the universe Like I said, because of course no matter how good we do of what kind of perfect situation we're in You know, it's not going to always turn out like we think so I just say we do our best

amber (28:28.455)
Mm-hmm. Later.

Shannon (28:36.777)
Mm-hmm.

amber (28:45.551)
No. Mm-mm.

Shannon (28:47.87)
Right.

Shun (28:49.035)
and let God do the rest, ladies.

Shannon (28:51.197)
Yeah, that is truth. And in knowing too that a lot of times, you know, a female can't really raise a son the way a man can. And so my, my son, of course, his father was in here. However, whenever there was a major issue and Sean, you know this, I could always say, you know, same way you tell a friend.

Shun (28:59.055)
That's right.

amber (29:12.34)
Thanks for watching!

Shannon (29:12.645)
Let me let me get him on the phone here. You need to talk to him Even if he wasn't physically here in Charlotte just having that presence said that voice on the other end of the phone saying What you doing boy? Yes

Shun (29:14.777)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (29:18.607)
That's right. Absolutely. It makes a difference. It makes a freaking difference, I'm telling you. So that's why Amber, even though you got to go through this later on in life with your baby, at least you got dad there. You know what I mean? At least you got him there now. So you got to, in our older days, we need to let me tell your daddy. I'm gonna tell your dad in our back pocket. We ain't got the energy we had in our 20s when we had these kids.

amber (29:25.844)
Yeah.

Shannon (29:28.762)
Yes it does. Yes it does.

amber (29:30.175)
I do.

Shannon (29:37.225)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks.

Shannon (29:46.537)
Naaahhh

Shun (29:46.815)
So at least it came at a time that you're settled in and you got Scottie there and you guys can do it together and I'm sure that takes a load off.

amber (29:55.486)
Yeah, it definitely does, but yeah, it's a process. It's a process and, you know, I'll hurry it up because I know you guys have time, but let's not even focus on Devon. You'll have to bring me on again, maybe, but...

Shun (30:02.215)
is processed.

Shannon (30:19.116)
Oh yeah!

amber (30:19.526)
Me and Scottie was definitely to a point where divorce was on the table because of the crashing of him and Bianca. Sean, you know Bianca. You know. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, you can bring me back.

Shun (30:35.691)
Oh, yeah, so we got an episode for that. So so hold that and Shannon Did you just hear say we can bring her back? So Amber we got it We got us we got an episode gear for that next season. So hold that line I don't want you to bring that we need to hear that. We got a show for that We have we have a show for that We're gonna bring you back We definitely have a show for that honey because we don't we don't want to portray everything's all good been in the neighborhood and blend the families It's not it's work

Shannon (30:41.652)
Yeah, yeah, yes, most definitely.

amber (30:48.014)
Listen, I won't bring it up, buddy. You can bring me back on.

Shannon (30:51.109)
Yeah.

Shannon (30:54.561)
Oh, thank you. Thank you most definitely.

amber (31:00.718)
It's not all good. Peach isn't. No, it's not. Girl, you can bring me back. Y'all can bring me back about five or six times. I got stories for every, you know, every title, absolutely. Because it takes.

Shannon (31:02.645)
No.

Shun (31:05.483)
It's work and when on the next episode, I can't wait to bring you back because honey, I got a couple of stories for you

Shannon (31:14.093)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shun (31:17.964)
Every title every episode All right. Well, so got so audience you heard it Amber has committed to at least at least one more sure one more show But we may have we have met five for Amber because you know, we can get down with this thing all night but tonight we got to get on with it because I gotta read this red line y'all and it's a good one and

Shannon (31:20.489)
I love it. Love it.

You heard it. Yes.

amber (31:26.77)
Absolutely! I'll come back-

Shannon (31:34.509)
That's right. All right. Okay.

amber (31:37.006)
Yeah! Okay.

Shannon (31:40.377)
on to the red line.

Shun (31:46.871)
All right tonight's red line is courtesy of our october Submission, um winner Mrs. Nia Badger, yes

Shannon (31:53.673)
Oh, we got a winner!

Shannon (32:00.333)
Okay.

Shun (32:01.967)
I'm telling you Nia she just call it. She slid this thing in the last minute So I think I don't know if her name was on top, but I know everybody come back It's got to be rigged. It is not Nia is the winner and I could believe almost flipped out But it's not rigged and I didn't even pick it Shannon did so there you go But anyways, I'm Nia right my scariest Redline is the time a time a guy in college approached me saying he was interested in me He was on the football team

Shannon (32:06.093)
I'm going to go to bed.

Shannon (32:11.213)
It's not rigged, it's not rigged.

Shannon (32:16.81)
Oh

Shun (32:30.427)
Tall and huge with big muscles. We would casually talk when we saw each other, but nothing too much. One day he walked me home after a party. We were at my door and we were talking. I said, I'm ready to go inside my room because it's getting late. He asked me to come in and I said no. Then he started grabbing my arms and getting aggressive. He said, you've been playing with me, acting like you really like me. Mixcuse me, sir. I don't know what mixcuse me is.

Excuse me, sir. I barely pay you any attention is what Nia wrote. You asked me to walk me home I actually was getting really scared. So I was like Nia think fast. I told him guess what I changed my mind I'm gonna let you in my room. Just let me make sure my roommate is asleep He let go of my arms and I went in my room locked the door and crawled right in bed I avoided him until graduation definitely dodged a raper that night and my cat williams voice

So you were just gonna take the booty. No, sir, not with the Lord on my side. Praise the Lord. Keep up the good work, ladies. Nia, thank you so much. We appreciate it. We shall keep up the good work. And Shannon, you take it from here.

Shannon (33:37.155)
You got that right.

Shannon (33:44.314)
Thank you, Nia.

Shannon (33:50.173)
Congratulations, Nia, on winning and being our October winner of our $100 gift card and your copy of Sean's book, I Love the World to Know. So happy that you wrote in and for all of our submissions, you know, we say every month we appreciate you all writing in, we love reading them, and of course we love to award a winner.

And so thank you all. So remember to submit for the remainder of the year and every month to wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com. Thank you so much for your submissions.

All right. Now we're on to our final segment of the night. You know, we do our fictional family, the fictional family we're filling. So the fictional family I am filling tonight is from Shameless. It was a franchise on Showtime, ran many, many years. I think it ended, I can't remember when. But the Gallagher family is the family name.

In this particular episode, the sister, the oldest sister, Fiona, is in court trying to get custody of her siblings because their father, who those of you who've watched the franchise know his name is Frank Gallagher. He's a drunk. He's alcoholic and nothing comes before his bottle. And so Fiona's in court telling the judge.

why she should have custody and raise her siblings, her two brothers. So she talks about, she's telling the judge how they were living in a car at one time because of her father. They were living in a car and the father's driving around and he puts them out on a curb and he says I'll be back. Well he doesn't come back and meanwhile her little brother Ian has a fever, a very high fever, so she figures out how to get him

Shannon (35:55.693)
to an emergency room. And she gets some help and he's okay, but they're saying, his temperature was 104. And if it had been a couple of more hours, who knows what would have happened? So she saves him. And then she eventually finds her father. And then instead of her father saying, oh, are you guys okay? How's my son? Cause I think the son was under the age of 10, maybe six or seven years old.

No, he asked his daughter Fiona, how much money you got? He yeah, of course, he needs a drink. He don't care about his children. And so she says to the judge, you know, she didn't have a mother, her mother's bipolar and locked up somewhere or whatever. And the father's alcoholic. She says, I just want what's best for my siblings. She says, I've done everything to raise them.

And I forgot to, when I set up the scene, she's young herself. She can't be more than a teenager herself. And she says, I just want what's best for them. And I've done all I could to help them. And she says, I'm not asking for your pity or any, any of that. I just want to be able to give these kids the life that they deserve. And they deserve better than what they've been given.

for her little young mind to understand that. And also, you know, plead to the judge, that's great. And her father, who's sitting right there, the judge turns to him and says, so you're willing to give up, you know, all your parental rights and, you know, give it to your daughter. And the father says, oh, so I won't be responsible. I won't be held accountable. You know, it'd be off me pretty much. And the judge says, yes. And the father's like, okay, cool.

And so he walked away from his kids. So when you look at how some people are raised and when we do ask the question, oh, who raised you? Sometimes their background is gonna tell a lot. And then in other instances, like we spoke on tonight, they could have had the perfect upbringing and you just never know. So asking who raised you and or how you were raised.

Shannon (38:14.449)
I hope we can try to understand a little bit about the folks that we know weren't raised the way we were or may have had a tougher time or tougher upbringing and be a little bit more understanding instead of like a lot of us can, you know, judge a little bit and say, oh, yep, exactly. Exactly. So that is the fictional family I'm feeling.

Shun (38:31.undefined)
descending.

Shun (38:37.071)
Fiction of family. Great fictional family girl.

Shun (38:44.655)
raised all of my siblings, so I get it, you know, but all of us didn't turn out right, some of us didn't turn out perfect, all of us didn't turn out bad, it's just a matter of choices. So who raised you is not always the problem, you know?

Shannon (38:46.321)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (38:51.881)
Hehehehe

Right. Exactly.

Right, not always a problem. Yeah.

Shun (39:03.891)
That was a great fictional family girl and amber. Thank you for joining us. This is a great show lady I had a good time. Yeah, you're gonna have to come to but you put it out there now amber So we shall see amber back and future episodes

Shannon (39:06.413)
Thank you. Yes, thank you.

amber (39:10.102)
Oh, it's my pleasure. Yeah. Yeah, I can come back. Listen, listen, you wrote a book. Trust me, Sean. Let me tell you, I can write a book. Right.

Shannon (39:12.597)
Yes.

Shannon (39:17.466)
Hahaha!

Shannon (39:24.321)
Hahaha!

Shun (39:24.655)
They got a couple in you got a couple in you Well, thank you amber for having this for joining us, I'm sorry it was good to have you

Shannon (39:29.101)
Oh, yes. Thank you so much. Thank you for joining us. Yeah, yeah. And we can't wait to have you, you too, Amber. We can't wait to have you back. So we look forward to that next season. All right. Okay. And thanks everyone for joining us tonight and until next week, we love you all. Yes.

amber (39:32.06)
It was my pleasure. My pleasure. Shannon, it was nice meeting you.

amber (39:40.91)
Yeah.

Absolutely.

Shun (39:44.279)
exists.

Shun (39:49.699)
We love you all. Goodbye.