Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:36.517)
Hey, I'm Shun.

Shannon (00:37.854)
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun (00:40.099)
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Happy Thursday, family, and happy Thursday, Shannon.

Shannon (00:45.192)
Happy Thursday, Shun.

Shun (00:48.389)
Welcome to episode 6 of season 5 my people as always we are grateful that you are tuned in to spend yet another Thursday with us and it's one of our best Thursdays I might add and can anybody guess why? All right. Nobody won't guess. Okay. Well All right, Shane, you're gonna drag it out of me. Okay, we have a guest tonight Yes, we have a guest tonight

Shannon (01:00.106)
Yeah.

Tell us why, tell us why.

Yeah, one of our favorites. Yes, one of our favorites.

Shun (01:19.459)
That's right, Shannon. One of our favorites, not just any guest. Our honorary hostess with the most is his backyard. Here to help us break down tonight's topic title. Who do I run to? Is our girl, the entrepreneurial guru herself, the Miss Tamara's Antel. You ready for the ride, baby mama?

Shannon (01:20.799)
Bye.

Shannon (01:26.388)
Yeah.

Shannon (01:38.974)
Ready?

Shun (01:40.909)
You know, she always got some deep and profound to drop on it. For all of our a ones from day ones out there We know you know my girl and she's assigned us She's you know, she's been assigned to to be in my life since I was like a teenager, right? And she's grace shannon and I on this show on a few occasions, you know But for our new family that was steady joining while we were offseason. Miss Tamara Will tell you about herself because as we break down tonight's topic, you will understand how much more profound

Shannon (01:43.52)
you

Shun (02:08.407)
and amazing. She is. So I will digress. Mrs. Tamara, introduce yourself to the peeps.

Tamara Zantell (02:16.824)
Hey, hey everyone. My name is Tamara Zantel. I am the mom of five, Nana to six. I can't believe it sometimes when I say it. I'm also the founder of Raising a Mogul and I have an agency that is called Legacy Brain Creators. And, you know, it's pretty simple. I'm a former corporate, you know, I like to call myself a corporate dropout. You know, I had to go.

And the reason I had to go is because I helped my nine-year-old daughter turn her kitchen table hobby, which happened to be a lip balm business, a lip balm experiment, I'll say, into a million dollar skincare brand it is today. So I mentor families and kidpreneurs across the globe, showing them how to build legacy businesses without losing the heart of their home. I'm all about family, authenticity, and creating systems that let us thrive together.

Shannon (03:10.367)
That's awesome.

Tamara Zantell (03:10.722)
That's me.

Shun (03:12.943)
Do y'all see why she fits so well with wifey and baby mama? All about family, y'all. That's our theme here, all about family, love life, getting it done. So welcome back, Tamara.

Shannon (03:15.816)
Mm-hmm.

Tamara Zantell (03:23.394)
Thank you for having me again.

Shun (03:26.373)
All right, Shannon, you're about to get down to it.

Shannon (03:27.345)
Yes, we are so happy, so happy to have you. Yes, I'm ready. Let's do it.

Shun (03:32.933)
All right, girlfriend, let's go. Tonight's topic, who do I run to, is probably more relatable than most of us want to admit, right? It's referring to those of us who are everything to everybody. But we have to get out the flashlights, the magnifying glasses, and the bull horns when we need assistance with the smallest of things. And then another fun fact, like I said, me and Tamar go way back, guys. So if you hear me refer to her as T, don't be alarmed. Like that's just her childhood nickname.

Shannon (03:47.071)
He

Shannon (03:57.773)
you

Shun (04:01.541)
To me, we go back like four flats on the Cadillac, okay? So she's been here through most of my journey and I've been through most of hers. So booking her for tonight's episode, Shannon went more like, hey, come run this with us. Not, do you think this is something you can relate to? Cause I know firsthand she can, okay? I know this, I know what she does for the community. I know what she does for her family, for the businesses and all that. But what I wanted to bring you here to discuss T is who do you run to?

Shannon (04:16.191)
That's all right.

Shun (04:31.503)
when you need to release or unwind, or do you find it hard to admit that, I'm out of gas? Because you know everyone depends on you. That's what I want to break down with you here tonight.

Shannon (04:32.361)
you

Tamara Zantell (04:40.27)
I'm here for it. I love it. I'm here for it. You want me to answer that question right now?

Shun (04:47.877)
I would like for you to answer the question ma'am. So now we can't call you on a ready guess when you don't know how we get down. First question is always yours. We have manners on this show, ma'am.

Shannon (04:48.265)
Hahaha!

Tamara Zantell (04:50.648)
So, listen, listen.

Wait, because that was two questions. It was like, who do you run to? And then it was like, am I afraid to admit? So I'm like, which one you want?

Shun (04:59.077)
So yeah Yeah All right. So so let's all right. So let's go with a let's go with a Who do you run to when you unrun? Yeah, I'm sorry when you need to release or unwind who do you run to?

Shannon (04:59.615)
Yes, yep. Yep, yep.

Tamara Zantell (05:06.808)
Who do I run to right now?

Tamara Zantell (05:14.294)
Right now, my first stop is me. Is me. I need to sit it with me. And that's where my prayer time happens, my meditation, my re-centering, my self-check, right? My self-awareness. That's where it all happens. It used to be external, outside of me, right?

Shun (05:20.453)
Wow.

Shun (05:25.637)
No.

Tamara Zantell (05:38.755)
but as I've gotten, you know, to this big old age, I have realized that I'm the one that can hold me down. I have amazing friends, clearly, right? You know, clearly you just said we've been friends forever, but, forever, ever. but I want to be super intentional and I want to be, you know, I feel like, you know, for so long in so many parts of my life, I've been everything for everybody.

Shun (05:43.173)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (05:49.951)
Hehehehehe

Tamara Zantell (06:07.99)
It's time for me to be everything for me. So I'm running to me. I'm running inward so I can make sure that I have everything I need to show up outward.

Shun (06:08.581)
That's all right.

Shannon (06:20.275)
Wow, I totally get that. totally get that. Yeah, yeah. For, I guess for years, I guess because I am such an introvert, that has always been probably my MO. And then, you know, the times where I haven't run to other people, you know, usually comes back to bite you in the butt, you know, because

Shun (06:20.431)
No, Shannon. I was about to ask, could you give me your take on it?

Shun (06:47.781)
Mmm.

Shannon (06:49.951)
You know, they're either not going to give you what you think you need from them or it sounds good at that moment and then later on it comes back through somebody else, know, things like that. So, yeah, turn into yourself and into God. It resonates with me when you say that because

Shun (07:18.149)
That's where that your your your help is found within Most of the time your help is found within is I guess you're now so she said it was a two-part question It kind of was I said do it do you find it hard to admit that I'm out of gas? You know because everyone depends on you That's the title of the show who can I run to because everything falls every all the weight drops on me. So, you know It's times when I have those intimate battles even when I want to go outside Shannon, like you said, I don't want to be judged

Shannon (07:18.171)
Yeah, you need outside people, but.

Yeah, yeah.

Tamara Zantell (07:30.51)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (07:45.401)
Because I'm it right? So do I get to say that I'm tired? You know, I I struggle with that sometimes I struggle with Sharon because I don't want to appear weak, you know, like mama, what do you mean? What do you mean? You don't have your ass on your chest today mama, you know, cause I've been a single mother. I married, I've been married three times to just, but it's a lot of that I spent as a single mom, you know, and it was me and I couldn't afford the shower was the only place I didn't get to be super warm.

Shannon (07:45.853)
Yeah, yeah.

Tamara Zantell (07:57.423)
you

Shun (08:10.979)
You know and like you said Chan if you do tell someone you got to worry about hearing it again so Those are the times when I'm thankful for my relationship with people like you too Because for me it is not always a matter of if I can get an ear to listen I mean You can just about get any busy body to take all your business in right? But we have to be careful who we run it to we got to be careful who we run that to especially our intimate things

Tamara Zantell (08:21.315)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (08:22.281)
Yeah.

Shannon (08:30.879)
Right, right.

Tamara Zantell (08:31.924)
Absolutely. Yes.

Yeah, I love that you bring up an excellent point. I think it's important that as we, what I like to look at it as like our personal rescue team, right? And first of all, there's vulnerability and thinking we have to be rescued, right? Or we need a moment. Like you said, are you afraid to admit or are we embarrassed to admit? Because we have been taught that that equals weakness.

Shun (08:47.738)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (08:51.839)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shun (08:54.66)
Mm-hmm.

Tamara Zantell (08:58.082)
So first we have to stop judging ourselves and realize, you know what? No, it's just the truth. It is what it is. I don't need to hold it real tight. It's just, mama's tired and I need to rejuvenate. Right. But, but many of us have been in situations where we were afraid to admit that because it equaled, meant weakness or it meant that people would pull away or it meant that I'm not capable or I, you know, I'm not worthy. That's all these, this, this, I call it head trash. Right. We, we.

Shun (09:06.809)
That's it.

Tamara Zantell (09:25.268)
make up these stories when really, if we take a nap, when we wake up, the world is still spinning. know, things are still the way they are. So when we think about our personal rescue team, you know, those layers of support, know, family, friends. I remember a time in my life when I felt so alone in my single parenting journey, I had to hire help. I paid.

Shannon (09:32.303)
Still going. Yeah.

Shun (09:32.773)
hahahahah

Tamara Zantell (09:53.357)
for that respite. And I remember my family thinking I had lost it. My mother was like, no, as a black woman, you don't have no, ain't nobody else coming up in here. And I was like, they might not come to your house, but they come into my house because I need help with all three of these kids. Yes, I had, yeah, I needed to give myself permission, write myself a permission slip to say, if you, how are you gonna do it all? Sometimes you sit down and you're like, who can I run to?

Shun (09:53.381)
Wow.

Shun (10:06.969)
That's hilarious. That's hilarious.

Shannon (10:19.965)
Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (10:22.402)
who's gonna support me, you know what? Let me see who else out here. Let me Google this. Who else can do, can help me with the lawn?

Shun (10:24.463)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (10:28.581)
Who who has tapped into this and has found a need who has found an answer to this need because guess what? I have found y'all open in all of my businesses these hundred I opened in last two years It's somebody that's doing something for every car. Somebody that's addressing these needs out here I'm like y'all let me and I know y'all about to laugh at me, but it's okay It's fine cuz Shannon don't know how to move his black movies I tell her about so I'm gonna tell y'all that I have discovered is the car and it has changed my life. Okay, and I

Tamara Zantell (10:39.064)
Ha ha!

Tamara Zantell (10:45.421)
Right.

Shannon (10:49.065)
Hmm

Tamara Zantell (10:57.678)
GIRL! GIRL, NOT IT!

Shun (10:58.723)
been about for years it has literally changed my life okay

Shannon (11:00.287)
no.

Tamara Zantell (11:04.344)
Girl, it's like, I don't go to the grocery store. What do you mean?

Shun (11:07.653)
I Did and you know what I thought that as a mom you watched your grandmother's first of all My great-grandmother went in the field and picked her dinner. Let's start with that. We didn't go to the store They went in the field Okay, then we got we got grandma who will buy it off the truck from the guy who went to the field to pick the peas So she bought the dinner off the truck then you got your mama who went to the store So she grocery shop and here my weektail is instacart. So what okay, but I struggle with

Shannon (11:07.973)
Right, right, yeah.

Shannon (11:18.746)
yeah, yeah.

Tamara Zantell (11:20.599)
Right.

Shannon (11:26.486)
Uh-huh.

Shannon (11:33.405)
Yeah, yep.

Shun (11:36.485)
Struggle with that like am I losing my womanhood and my place in life to not go to the grocery store? But listen, you can't do it all we just can't so

Shannon (11:36.735)
Hmm hmm hmm hmm.

Shannon (11:41.82)
Right.

Tamara Zantell (11:44.493)
No, no, and our lives look different. Our lives look different, right? So I talked about that a little bit on social at some point when I said like, are the first, some of us, this is our first, we're the first line of defense. We're the first generation, the first in the bloodline to be able to live this life the way we're living it, right? To be able to open or start and launch those hundred businesses, right? Not to say that their life was easy, it just looks different.

Shun (11:49.966)
It did.

Shun (12:03.831)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (12:08.772)
Yeah.

Shannon (12:09.364)
Right.

Tamara Zantell (12:11.884)
So as we evolved, everything should evolve. We should not keep the same old patterns and old ways while trying to do a new thing. It doesn't make any sense.

Shun (12:12.409)
That's a fact.

Shun (12:16.869)
That's it.

Shun (12:22.341)
And it's okay to shop at at Wegmans while I'm at the light I can be putting my stuff in the car and drive right past that store because I am I gotta come home record Because I gotta come home record this podcast because my people waiting on me. Okay, so I'm good with that So let me ask you Shannon. Do you feel that?

Tamara Zantell (12:29.718)
It's called Advances in Technology. Thank you. Right.

Shannon (12:34.655)
That's right. Yeah, yeah.

well, yeah, no, I'm, you know, I do everything. I do the Uber eats. I do the door dash. I do the Instacart all that.

Shun (12:43.822)
Are you still old school? She's yeah

Shun (12:52.346)
HA HA

Shun (12:56.421)
No shame in your game. I love it So let me direct this question to both of you to jump on as you will have you have you guys ever experienced though back to our who do I run to? Being ten toes down with people like always having their back like family spouses Friends that you know this can apply to anyone but when it's your turn, they're busy. It's a long sigh It's always an excuse, but they'll turn right around in the next breath and ask you again

Tamara Zantell (12:56.961)
I love it.

Shannon (12:58.323)
No save, no save.

Shun (13:25.125)
When they need something baby, let me tell y'all how long my block and delete listing guy is longer than my contact list. Okay? Cuz play with your mama. I promise you I'm tired of it. So are you guys have you guys reached that point?

Tamara Zantell (13:36.268)
Not

wait, not play with your mama. I'm just like, okay, absolutely yes. Yes and both, all of it. I have gotten to that point. And one of the things I'm working on, this is again, transparency, because that's all I got, is I'm trying to sit in that, those boundaries, as I like to call them, bumpers up, without being heard about it, right? So that's a whole nother lesson. It's like, how do I maintain my sense of self?

Shannon (13:40.777)
Hehehehehe

Shun (13:42.405)
Play with your mama.

You

Tamara Zantell (14:07.352)
protect myself, keep my boundaries, and still be real soft and cute with it, right? So, whereas before I used to get angry at people, you know, like, be like, I'm about to tell you how I feel, you know? It's like, you don't need to know all of that.

Shun (14:16.769)
Mm-hmm. Yep, you know, I went to that face Shannon about 28 years

Tamara Zantell (14:23.022)
Yes, now I'm just like the answer is no because I said so that doesn't work for me I'm unavailable or not anymore. yes, that was then but this is now or I changed my mind period It's just that simple

Shun (14:25.773)
huh.

Shannon (14:28.201)
All right.

Shannon (14:37.075)
Yeah. Yeah. So a couple of things there. So when it comes to, you know, people that I know, you know, I can go to, of course you learn that over years and sometimes it takes a lot of years. And as you get older, yeah. And as you get older, of course you start losing some folks. You know, know, Laverne, my girl from

Shun (14:37.253)
Period. What about you, Shannon?

Shun (14:54.425)
That's it about 28.

Shun (15:03.283)
yeah.

Shannon (15:06.783)
I've known since three years old, she's had a stroke and she hasn't come back to herself. And that was the person that could always pull me through anything. When I tell you anything, losing my father, me having a stroke, know, all of the things that brought me down in life, she was there to pick me up. Now she's not here for that. I can call you Shun, but you can't come in my living room and dance for me.

Tamara Zantell (15:11.554)
Mmm.

Shun (15:20.837)
Wow.

Shannon (15:35.955)
the way Laverne would do, you know?

Shun (15:36.645)
That's because right. Well, let me tell you give me about six months to get this private jet, baby And I'm on the way but okay. Yeah right now I can't no I'm just teasing you. I'm totally teasing you She's gonna pick you up and I loved her for that, you know

Shannon (15:43.904)
I'm joking, I'm joking. But you know Laverne, you know Laverne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she always did. Yeah, yeah, because you know how she is. She'll get up and do whatever to make you laugh. Uh-huh.

Shun (15:55.917)
And when I first met her, let me tell you she was sure to let me know, you know that she was your best friend So i'm trying to see what's out of but you know, she gave me the once over she's like, so And then after the end of the night me she was like me too at the end of that me she was like, okay She said you cool Okay, well I passed the test but she I mean I really respect her for that because vice versa, you know it

Shannon (16:07.711)
but she loves you, yeah.

Shannon (16:12.305)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (16:12.494)
Yeah.

Shun (16:21.327)
Tomorrow meets you for the first when she did meet you for the first time. that's his baby mama Okay, let me check the vibe. Let me make sure is what you say it is. That's what friends are for That's what friends are for so I totally get it and I you know what? We are still believing God We're still believing God the burns gonna pop back to who he has the last day So but I totally get what you saying now that she's gone That looks totally different from you and I and I totally understand but that's you know, that's nature. That's life that that's what happens

Shannon (16:23.903)
Right Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right. Yes. Yeah Exactly we do we do

Tamara Zantell (16:27.712)
Yep. Five check. Yes.

Shannon (16:43.07)
Yeah, it does. Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (16:44.27)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (16:50.053)
That's by that's not by choice. It's those people by choice that I'm referring to like that keeps constant They constantly want to can I can I can I the givers they had that I'm sorry to takers They have no boundaries. So the givers have to set the boundaries. You know what I mean? The takers have no boundaries

Shannon (16:54.962)
Right, right.

Shannon (16:59.168)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (17:01.454)
Thank you.

Shannon (17:04.903)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Tamara Zantell (17:05.29)
Absolutely. And guess what? When you release those people that are sucking life out of you, the time, the energy, the resources, and they're not making any deposits, you actually attract more people that you're in alignment with. Right? So you, you, you're open to healthier relationships and you're like, wow, I went to brunch and didn't, nobody pissed me off. You know, like, ain't nobody, you know, like I didn't get any annoying texts this week, but you got plenty.

Shun (17:18.831)
Talk about it.

Mmm.

Shannon (17:24.521)
Yeah.

you

Shun (17:31.902)
Hahaha!

Tamara Zantell (17:32.344)
But it's the caliber of the humans that you're now connected to because you are in a much lighter, open, willing space as opposed to looking at the phone ring or text come through and you're like, no, I already know what you want. See? Hell no. Right.

Shun (17:42.789)
God you see they you see they name and be like, my goodness It just changed your whole day, you know, so I saw this saying that I like to that I like to share You get tired of crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump across the portal for you You know, I read that quote on social media one day shanna and it changed my life Just like you said to my I sat there and I digested that thing and i'm telling you the game was over

Shannon (17:43.271)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shannon (17:51.303)
Right, right.

Tamara Zantell (17:59.375)
Mmm.

Shun (18:10.883)
Like a whole new light was lit in me like this is it This is what i'm saying like f them kids their daddies their grandparents the jobs They demand you till you know, every six months. They want a new level from you We need you to up but the pay scale been the same for five years It was all inclusive play with your mama when I read that I was done So I think my skin got lighter y'all. I was so refreshed. I think I got a shade brighter

Tamara Zantell (18:26.744)
five years.

Shannon (18:34.623)
But you're so stupid. But what about, what about, wait a minute. So for me, a lot of times I feel guilty. Neither one of you have ever felt guilt about not being there. Because that's the thing that keeps me up sometimes at night. If I do try to put my foot down and say, okay, you've never done anything for me, so I'm not going to do anything for you. The guilt just wears me out sometimes. So that's

Tamara Zantell (18:34.666)
I love it!

Shun (18:45.258)
I'm telling you we Shannon

Shun (18:51.033)
Get yourself

I'm gone. Okay.

Tamara Zantell (19:02.21)
Yeah.

Shun (19:02.315)
It does but let me tell you what I'm gonna text you this quote I'm gonna text you this quote every night until your life change. I'm telling you I got more light. I got light skin When this happened, I'm gonna text you this quote every single morning Shannon because you got to stop because you know what I found the only people I didn't even care about the kids the daddies. No. No, I'm sorry The kids daddies or the grandmamas or the mamas my mama the only person that concerned me that used to get me was a dog on kids

Shannon (19:02.685)
keeps me doing and giving and doing this stuff.

Shannon (19:09.471)
Okay.

Shannon (19:16.476)
Okay.

Shun (19:29.253)
Remember I told you about the going to the three restaurants because I don't want my kids to be hungry man Listen here y'all eating this KFC or what? Okay. Yeah. Okay go make a peanut butter. Jelly. Good night. I'm gone I'm not going to KFC McDonald's and Burger King not happening anymore when that changed I'm telling y'all my life got better. So even my own children They were the only ones that helped me to the fire for a little while. I would feel terrible mom. Can you take us skating? Um, excuse me. We just drove past the skating rink. I want to come home and put some purple socks on

Shannon (19:32.125)
Yeah, yeah.

Tamara Zantell (19:59.148)
Mm-mm.

Shun (19:59.439)
Well, guess who ain't going skating tonight sis and they look at me like when it started they were looking at me like Where's this alien? Where's our mother because they don't they're so used they're so used to it So Shannon, you gotta say no, gotta say no, sweetheart

Shannon (20:01.535)
Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (20:01.696)
Yeah.

Shannon (20:10.535)
Right. Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (20:12.398)
Yeah, you have to. mean, and the thing is, sometimes in the moment, it feels like the hardest thing in the world, that guilt, it's overwhelming because we're so conditioned to doing it a different way. We're conditioned to sacrificing ourselves, our time, our energy, everything for everybody else. It's time you have to build, it's like a muscle, right? So it's building a new muscle, building new habits and setting those boundaries is the only way you're going to experience the freedom that you actually deserve. It's the only way.

Shun (20:23.151)
That's it.

Shun (20:33.551)
Mm-hmm.

Tamara Zantell (20:41.006)
Right? Because if you're the one carrying it, you know, like I talk about this all the time, like strong women, we don't think that we need scaffolding. Like we need people to hold us up too. Especially we're trained and we're conditioned to hold everybody else's dreams. And then when it comes to our own, we're just like, oh, I'll change it. You know, forget it. Forget it. And it's like, no.

Shannon (20:41.951)
Wow.

Shannon (20:54.399)
No.

Shannon (20:59.135)
Blam.

Shun (20:59.265)
I don't have time to do mine. I don't have time to make my own lunch because I was busy making everybody else's You know, so you starve so I'll segue to to the last point that I want to make here before we jump to transition Those people you're describing tomorrow the last people I want to give a shout out people a shout out to y'all follow me the people that are the people That are people you can run to I mean having the YouTube, you know, it keeps me saying right it takes

Tamara Zantell (21:03.822)
Exactly. No. Yep.

Shannon (21:04.553)
Bye bye.

Shannon (21:22.239)
Thank

Shun (21:28.613)
Strong kind of person to talk someone off a ledge when they're standing on one themselves I've seen that quote right and I understand what that means, but that's the kind of people we are Your life is defined by your circle and mine is pretty dope. So I appreciate both of you and It feels like you know Don't ever let me you know overstep. Sometimes you too may ask me something. It's not a no because I don't want to

Shannon (21:35.423)
Wow.

Tamara Zantell (21:43.883)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (21:45.577)
Bye.

Shun (21:56.197)
It's a no because I didn't realize I promised 17 other things. I can call tomorrow on a whim and be like, I'm going on the news tomorrow morning. I couldn't write out my, I couldn't write out my, I couldn't write out my media blast because they called me into a trial that wasn't mine. She's like, girl, bye, send me what you need. And then in 10, 15 minutes it's back. But that, she could have asked me last week, hey, could you, you know, take one of my kids to, and I'm like, tomorrow I can't because my kid has band.

Shannon (22:00.159)
more fun.

Tamara Zantell (22:04.718)
You say that like it's happened before.

Shun (22:25.869)
She don't say to me well, no, she ain't got to worry about that no more. It's times when people like us just can't do it is what I'm saying. So if we can't ever do it, we just can't do it. But it's not because that's not who we are because I'm telling you, I have held umbrella plenty of times, plenty of times on somebody else while I got really wet myself.

Shannon (22:28.735)
Right, right.

Right, yeah.

Tamara Zantell (22:33.58)
It's true.

Mm-hmm.

Shannon (22:46.847)
Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (22:46.868)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I definitely think it's important to honor those people that are there for you. And also, and that's a part of honoring ourselves, is maintaining and pouring into those relationships and giving ourselves the break and the freedom that comes along with accepting that help, because that's a whole nother piece of it. You know what I mean? And we need to understand that help isn't a handout, right? Sometimes it's just a handoff.

Shun (22:55.363)
Yeah.

Shun (23:09.656)
Absolutely.

Tamara Zantell (23:14.2)
so that we can keep the legacy and the dream moving. So it really comes down to, it's bigger than us. If we say we want something and we're trying to bring our family through something or we're really trying to do something impactful in the world, there's no way we can do it alone. So our team, our circle, all the people that contribute in the most powerful ways, even if I don't talk to you every day,

Shannon (23:18.175)
Yeah.

Tamara Zantell (23:43.596)
You know, like, you know, we honor you and I'm grateful for those moments and those people.

Shannon (23:46.152)
and

Shun (23:46.533)
That's right.

Well audience I said that to make that point if you have those people like we are to each other Shannon tomorrow night You honor those people who just like you block and delete them other ones you honor and just send a text that says hey I love you. Thank you so much. Hey, you know, whatever It's the little thing send them a coffee on that door dash and uber uber east that Shannon loves so much, know Just send them out. I got a friend Brittany in Alabama who does little stuff like she sent me six dollars one day and was like hey get your coffee I'm like

Tamara Zantell (24:00.559)
you

Shannon (24:09.693)
Yes!

Shun (24:19.749)
She's a church member of mine and I haven't lived there in ten years, but she watches me, know, she says I don't know when you sleep I always see you on social media doing something get you a coffee today and stay alert. Those are the kind of people you want to water audience That's what that was my last point and making that point about make sure you take care of the people Don't just focus on the bad people. Take care of the good people that are in your life, too So do any of you ladies have another point you want to bring before we wrap up?

Shannon (24:23.647)
Tamara Zantell (24:26.99)
I know that's right.

Tamara Zantell (24:46.464)
something I want to for all the listeners everyone that this you know episode is going to bless I want you to think about the last time you know mama when was the last time you asked for specific help I want you to think about that right we're talking about you know that freedom of leaning on other people and having people in your corner and

honoring those people that help you, but I really want you to think about sometimes our help might not feel like it's coming because we're not asking for it specifically enough. So instead of saying, hey, yeah, keep me in your prayers, that's great. But it could be like, hey, I need you to stop by my house and walk the dog. I need you to pick my son up. Ask for what you need. Guilt free. Ask for what you need. If you have the people in your life that Yvette is talking about and that we're honoring and shouting out in this moment,

Shannon (25:25.535)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Tamara Zantell (25:38.326)
you know, they are going to understand and the answer will be yes. And you'll be so much lighter and so much further along because you asked specifically for what you wanted and what you needed in that moment. And that cannot happen with any judgment.

Shannon (25:52.392)
Right. Yeah, love that. I love that. No, I don't have anything else, but yeah, I love that point.

Shun (25:53.125)
Absolutely. What about you, Shanna?

Shun (25:59.897)
Well, I want to leave this with you Shannon before I wrap up. I want you to understand and undo who you are because you're too good of a person to feel guilty about anything because I know that if you can do it you will but I also know that people will take advantage of people with your spirit. So I need you to learn what am I about to do. This wrap up we're gonna be just for you. Okay, you ready?

Shannon (26:24.415)
Thank you. Thank you.

Shun (26:29.807)
We'll wrap up tonight's topic of who do I run to with this. In all that we do, it's imperative to take care of us. I often say we can't help anyone else if we're too burnt out to help ourselves. Of course, we want to be sure that our spouse, our children, parents, business partner, family, friends are good. That's human nature, but not at the cost of our own sanity. So if I turn around and there's no one there to help me, I'm going to simply lay there and rest.

And if I can't help me, I'm certainly no good to anyone else. So Shannon, I need you to learn the art of know My people that has kept me sane for the last two years and has now become my way of life Get somebody else to do it say it without shame. Okay, Shannon tomorrow We're gonna count to three. We're gonna all say get somebody else to do it. You're ready one two three Get somebody else to do it All right

Shannon (27:15.903)
you

Bye!

Tamara Zantell (27:23.382)
Let somebody else to do it. Okay.

Shannon (27:23.635)
Get somebody else to do it. Love that, love that. All right, thank you, thank you, Shun. All right, here we go to the sound off.

Shun (27:27.641)
That's my wrap up for tonight.

Shun (27:39.345)
All right, this is this is the sound segment. This is where we announce a song related to tonight's topic While also hoping to add to your musical playlist We use songs from all categories and genres and tonight's song is by escape either one of you want to guess what the name of the song is Who do I want?

Shannon (27:54.409)
Hmm.

Do I run too?

Tamara Zantell (27:57.911)
to

Shun (28:00.685)
Y'all probably guessed that early on in the show, right?

Shannon (28:01.151)
to fill this empty space.

Shun (28:05.465)
Sometimes I'm deep y'all and sometimes it just is what it is and tonight is just real simple, right? Now that's an older R &B hit but I'm sure most of you listeners are familiar with escape Shannon I don't have to ask you about that one, you know, that's a no-brainer for you That's when you was running around getting your vocals on. Yeah, you was running around in them streets with them peeps. So If you want to drop some suggestions Shannon, how do they become a part of our magical music fest?

Shannon (28:13.535)
Yeah

Shannon (28:17.565)
Yep, you know I know that one. That's right.

Shannon (28:26.623)
Yeah.

All right, any suggestions, any comments, please reach out to wifey and baby mama at gmail.com. Once again, that is wifey and baby mama at gmail.com.

Shun (28:48.387)
All right, well Tamara, thank you for joining us.

Shannon (28:51.599)
Yes, Tamara.

Tamara Zantell (28:51.714)
Thank you so much for having me. enjoy, I always love talking to y'all. And this conversation was just like all the rest of them literally felt like a kitchen table therapy session. It's like, let's get it out. Let's talk about it. So thank you, Shannon. Thank you, Vette. Today's episode really hit home and we told the truth and nothing about the truth. So, you know.

Shannon (29:02.087)
Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Shun (29:07.481)
Yes.

Shannon (29:11.353)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (29:11.513)
That's it. And that's, that's how we deliver here at Wife and Baby Mama. We hope that it helps. We're not always right, but we gonna tell our truth. And that's just the bottom line. That's what we're here for.

Shannon (29:19.901)
Right, Yep. All right, until next week.

Tamara Zantell (29:20.832)
I don't mind. Yes, absolutely.

Shun (29:27.725)
We love you all. Bye.