Wifey and Baby Mama

shun (00:37.539)
Hey, I'm Sean.

Shannon (00:39.917)
I'm Shannon.

shun (00:41.251)
And we're the host of wifey and baby mama. Happy Thursday family and welcome back. How was your week of love? Or do y 'all make it a month? Shannon, you and we'll go on any dates or you go saving it to the weekend.

Shannon (00:47.511)
Yeah.

Amber (00:49.838)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (00:56.397)
Well, you know, just like you and you know, Jimmy, we are both married in this week as well. So our anniversary is Saturday. Oh, and happy anniversary to you. So yeah, so we're going back to Charleston, which is where we got married. So looking forward to that. So the Valentine's Day.

shun (01:04.227)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Okay.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

shun (01:17.507)
It's awesome.

Shannon (01:22.445)
Kind of takes a backseat to the anniversary because that's the main event for us. It's the anniversary. What about you?

shun (01:27.711)
I get it. I get it. Well You all know what I did what I do everyday girl chill I'll be sitting right here But you know at least today I get to be with my peeps and that's good with me I think after 28 years of knowing each other is like where are the kids who has practice who has the hair salon? You know who didn't get picked up from school yet and all that good stuff But you know for the ones of you who still get all mushy and go on dates. I don't like y 'all. I'm just kidding. I

Shannon (01:33.229)
you

Shannon (01:38.911)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right.

Amber (01:52.846)
Hehehe.

Shannon (01:53.325)
hahahahah

shun (01:55.779)
I hope it was all that and more. Now Shannon, we gotta get to our date tonight. We got a hot date with one of season two's hottest guests, Miss Amber Hill. Yeah.

Shannon (02:05.817)
Yes Our number one I have to give it to amber for those who don't know let me give her, you know, give her some love When we look at our our metrics and our stats This is our number one guest people love to hear you amber and You know, we're we're so happy that you're here with us again

Amber (02:14.03)
Yaaaayyyy

shun (02:15.075)
Hehehehehe

Amber (02:28.302)
Thank you.

shun (02:28.731)
Absolutely as promised she has returned this season to break down tonight's topic with us where your love lies Welcome back. Ambie. Why don't you introduce yourself to the new fam here wife and baby mama? Because honey, baby We have picked up nine new countries since she was last on So say hey girl Yes

Shannon (02:31.661)
Yeah.

Shannon (02:42.449)
Yeah.

Amber (02:42.542)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (02:46.638)
Wow. Hi everybody. We're seeing birds. What you want me to introduce?

Shannon (02:50.925)
That's awesome.

shun (02:56.995)
So what were you doing? So how was your Valentine's going in?

Shannon (03:00.013)
Oh yeah, yeah.

Amber (03:02.031)
Yeah, I was at work all day. So we're actually going out to eat tonight. To Black and Blue. So after this, we'll be going out to dinner.

shun (03:05.155)
Hehehe!

shun (03:15.587)
Awesome.

Shannon (03:15.693)
Ah!

shun (03:19.747)
at you still doing your due diligence to the public so thank you Amber and welcome back.

Amber (03:23.439)
Thank you.

shun (03:27.339)
All right. Now I know quite a few people can relate to our topic tonight where your love lies and we're going to discuss how partners can be at odds in blended families because One or either all of the children don't approve or like the new partner or the new partner may not agree with the ways of the child the children when it comes to You know the person they married how do couples solve this or is there a solution? This is one for the ages. So y 'all know it's about some more stories. There's some more stories gonna go down tonight and amber

Amber (03:51.152)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (03:56.048)
Yeah.

shun (03:56.227)
I'm gonna let you have the first slice of the pie because you are the guest and we have manners so Your kids were well your kids were well aged by the time you were married and then you gained a bonus son as well Is it all paradise or do you find yourself between you know torn between? Asking yourself where your love lives often It is not so you need a cap. You're gonna take me away day every now and then huh? Tell us about it

Amber (04:01.232)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (04:05.9)
Am right? Yes. Yes.

Amber (04:14.092)
It is not.

It's not our paradise.

Oh, definitely, definitely. It's, wow. When Scotty first came around, everybody was good, but Scotty wanted to be their friend. And we had a conversation and I said to him, you, it's a really fine line. You need to not always try and just be on that good side, because it's just not the way it goes. So his position was,

Shannon (04:21.869)
Hehehe.

Shannon (04:47.373)
Right.

Amber (04:50.064)
He wanted to have that kind of relationship because he didn't have a really good relationship with his stepfather.

So I said, I understand that, but it's gonna come a time where you have to discipline them and it's not gonna go right. Needless to say, I was right. And him and my, right, him and my, more so my daughter are very at odds. They are like, what is it, oil and water?

shun (05:10.563)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (05:15.149)
He he he.

shun (05:15.779)
That's how women are.

Shannon (05:19.245)
Heheheheh

shun (05:28.739)
All in water. Yes.

Shannon (05:29.047)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amber (05:29.776)
oil and water and they have a, I hate to say hate, but you know that saying love hate relationship. Cause I don't believe they hate each other, but I believe that they love each other. I believe some of their characteristics are the same. So that makes it kind of bad. I believe that neither one of them know how to communicate effectively.

shun (05:38.051)
Love, hate, mm -hmm.

Shannon (05:39.101)
Mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

shun (05:52.291)
Uh huh.

Shannon (05:53.741)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (05:58.544)
So there is no talking. Right, right, right. And at the same time, my daughter wants me to herself. So that's a big thing. So they are as more than, oh, more than that. Yeah, yeah.

shun (05:59.299)
Big, big, big, big important fact. Yeah, that's a big fact. And family's work is communication.

Shannon (06:13.261)
Um, yeah.

shun (06:13.859)
Yeah.

shun (06:22.019)
He and the son.

Okay So usually I'm so surprised because usually it's the other way around it's the boys that collide because Shannon and I always talk about How you know the male is protected but Shannon says that you know her son wasn't overprotective of her husband It was a smooth transition. So it's definitely not uncommon, but it's just more often that it's boys and their mamas I I posted a video on my social media today with Denzel Washington and he said that boys or boys

Shannon (06:27.339)
Yeah.

Shannon (06:35.807)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Not at all. Not at all.

Shannon (06:44.845)
Right, yeah.

shun (06:54.889)
Mothers are boys first real love and that first son is the mother's last true love now I don't know how that goes, but I tell you I feel that with my boy So I'm surprised that is it's actually the girls But you know, I tell you guys I tell my girls and Jimmy collided a lot too. So I definitely can believe it

Shannon (07:01.677)
Right.

Shannon (07:09.227)
Yeah, yeah.

Amber (07:10.224)
Mm.

Amber (07:13.9)
Man.

Shannon (07:14.669)
Yeah, and I don't have the experience of course with the children aspect, but I can just go through what I went through as being the stepdaughter of a man that wasn't my father. I was there cock blocking, trying to do everything I could do to, I hated my mother with the man because that wasn't my dad.

shun (07:18.915)
status.

Amber (07:31.552)
Hehehehehe

Amber (07:39.918)
Mm -hmm.

shun (07:41.323)
Yeah, okay.

Shannon (07:42.315)
and having to be forced into, you know, hey, this is your dad now. I'm like, no, it's not, you know? And it wasn't necessarily because I wanted to be that close with my mom. It was I was a daddy's girls. Exactly. I wanted her with him. It's like, I love him. Why don't you love him? You know, so.

Amber (07:48.944)
Yeah.

shun (07:49.795)
Right.

shun (07:56.771)
You just wanted your mom with your dad. Mm -hmm.

Amber (08:03.44)
Hehehehehe

shun (08:04.193)
Wow, I get it. So that's why I love to I love to to explore every part of a topic all the moving parts because everyone gets it differently because for me, you know, it wasn't like that my stepfather I that was my man like I literally people tell me even in the book They tell me when we're reading sometimes I don't know if you're talking about your father or your stepfather because that's how much I love my stepfather It was one in the same. So it's like so many moving parts to it, you know

Shannon (08:11.455)
Yeah, yeah, right.

Shannon (08:18.973)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Amber (08:25.104)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (08:26.925)
See, see, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't, it's not that I did not love him, you know, of course, initially, of course, I was young, I was like five, six years old. So of course you grow. By the time I'm 16, you know, he was cool with me, you know, that just grew over time. Yeah.

Amber (08:28.504)
Yeah.

shun (08:43.299)
Right. You love. Right, right.

Well.

It plays a factor like I said, because remember my dad and mom divorced when I was three. So I, my step, my stepfather came into my life very early too. So I guess, and my father was an over the road trucker. Let's keep that in mind. So he wasn't physically in the home a lot. My father wasn't physically in the home a lot, Shannon. And then here's my stepdad who was there all the time. So that's how I bond grew. So Shannon, where you were with your dad a lot, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't with my dad a lot in my younger years. So I think that's why it was easy.

Amber (08:52.368)
Yeah.

Shannon (08:56.941)
Yeah, yeah.

Amber (09:00.206)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I think that makes a difference.

Amber (09:12.272)
Mm -mm.

Shannon (09:14.219)
Yeah.

Shannon (09:18.061)
Right.

Well, I mean, I wasn't with mine either. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, you know, I was in South Dakota. My dad was in Charlotte. So no, I wasn't with him, but mentally I was with him. I could never. Yeah, my bond was with him. So Amber, when your daughter and your husband, I mean, what kind of, what kind of, you know, how did you step in? What kind of steps did you take? What can you tell people, you know, to,

shun (09:29.687)
Your but your bomb was still with them

Amber (09:32.016)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Amber (09:39.216)
Yeah.

Amber (09:45.658)
Yeah.

Honestly, I do not have the answer because my thing was I don't want to be in the middle of this. At the point where, you know, she's quote unquote an adult, so to speak. So and he's an adult. So why am I in the middle of this?

Shannon (09:49.645)
say, this is what I think you should do or learn from what I didn't do.

Shannon (10:07.367)
Oh wow, okay.

Shannon (10:16.747)
Yeah.

Amber (10:19.376)
please tell me why. I can't, I love my daughter, I love my husband. You mean to tell me two adults can't come together and talk it out? That was my position on it. So it was like, I'm being pulled in two different directions. Oh, you believe whatever she say, you believe whatever he say, da da da da da. And then I'm like, uh uh, nope, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it because everybody has their truth.

Shannon (10:25.397)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

shun (10:40.427)
Wow.

Shannon (10:45.677)
Right.

Amber (10:48.467)
Okay, so since both of you guys are saying one thing, you know, one thing and you're saying another, well let's all come together and talk about it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ready. I'm not ready to talk to her. I'm not ready to talk, I don't want to talk to him. So what do you want me to do about it? Tell me that.

shun (10:58.979)
and what happens.

Shannon (10:59.149)
Now did it? Yeah.

shun (11:02.273)
Oh.

shun (11:07.043)
Thank you. I think you're absolutely correct if you are now that's what I want to hear if you offer that sit down and that Compromise neither one wants to do it then yeah I will wash my hands of it because I'm not about to get a headache from either one of y 'all so I get it

Shannon (11:07.149)
Right, yeah.

Amber (11:15.605)
Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah, so is. Absolutely! Yes! Absolutely!

Shannon (11:21.069)
But did it cause conflict though? Did it cause any? Yeah. So that's what we want to get into. How do you resolve that conflict in your, not, I mean, mainly in your marriage, because when you choose your spouse, you're supposed to, that's who you're joined with. Yeah, forsaken all others. So how, that's the interesting part.

Amber (11:32.935)
Yeah.

shun (11:36.643)
second all others.

Amber (11:38.485)
It is and I still struggle with that. I still struggle with that because a mother's love, I mean like there is no other to me. So yeah, I struggle with that. I know my husband comes first in my mind, in my heart. I know he comes first, but I still struggle with it a little bit.

Shannon (11:48.533)
Yes, I know.

shun (12:01.155)
You know what's interesting to me? No, go ahead.

Amber (12:03.702)
But I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought. What did you ask? What did you ask me, Shannon? Oh, the conflict, the conflict, the conflict. There was many arguments. There was many times where we were going to not be married anymore. There was many times when he was ready to go. Like, oh.

shun (12:07.747)
I'm so sorry. I thought you were done. No, no, she asked you, um, how do you, how did you, mm hmm.

Shannon (12:10.765)
Heheheheh

Shannon (12:16.957)
Yes.

shun (12:25.731)
Wow.

Shannon (12:33.485)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amber (12:34.514)
Yeah, and I mean, it's real, it's definitely real, but I think the love we have for each other kind of like supersedes it at this point. I think that now that my daughter is pregnant, I think that this blessing, I think my daughter got pregnant and it was a blessing to all of us because to me,

Shannon (12:38.541)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (13:03.382)
It seems like it brought me and her closer together. It seems like they're on the right path. They still had a little tits and tats. It seems like they're on their right path. And it's amazing what a little bundle of joy can do, boy. I can't wait till she gets here, but it's the same thing that happened. I didn't have a stepfather, but my mother had a boyfriend that she was with.

shun (13:10.563)
Wow.

shun (13:21.323)
That's awesome.

Amber (13:29.366)
since I was two years old. So he was around. He wasn't in our house but living, but he was around all the time. And he did things to my mother, not physically, but I believe, you know, mentally that I got to a point where I was old enough that I could not stand him to the point where I was raised to always respect my elder. So I never really said anything to him.

until I got probably in my 20s and he pissed me off so bad I call him every kind of name in the book and I never talked to him again. It took my, never talked to him again. It took me having my son for me and him to get on, to get back together to speaking because he loves kids.

Shannon (14:13.421)
Wow.

shun (14:13.859)
Really?

Shannon (14:26.517)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (14:28.215)
So it took that for us to start speaking. And now we're like, my mother says, it's a thing, cause I say your boo thing. Now they're not together anymore, but they still have a friendship. So they said, I say, yo boo thing. I talk to your boo thing. She says, girl, that is not my boo thing. That's your boo thing. Not like a boo thing, like, you know, together boo thing, but you know what I'm saying. And, but we're.

shun (14:28.227)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (14:39.917)
Mm -hmm.

shun (14:50.243)
Yeah.

Shannon (14:53.581)
Right, right.

shun (14:54.775)
Yeah, basically like y 'all closer than we are now

Amber (14:56.507)
Yeah, right. It took my kids coming. The blessing of my kids to come for us to even form another relationship. So I think that's what's happening now between. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

shun (15:06.659)
So you see that coming back around with Scottie and your daughter. Wow. Wow. And you know, I think what I was going to say when I interrupted you and made you lose your train of thought, I'm so sorry. I think that being mayor, I think that threefold core makes a difference and makes you fight a little harder, Shannon. Don't you think? And when you're dating, because Shannon, when you're dating, it's easy to walk away, right? You know, because remember, Shannon, Amber, we had a guest on last week, our first male guest. Oh, it was awesome.

Shannon (15:17.453)
Hehehe.

Amber (15:23.192)
Mm, and do.

Shannon (15:25.293)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, for sure. Of course, of course, yeah.

Amber (15:27.544)
and walk away.

Amber (15:35.926)
Oh.

shun (15:36.247)
But it was, yeah, he was saying that he was dating a young lady who had a child and the child was always, you know, into something. And he was always like picking up and telling him, hey, we need to do something. She's like, you're not going to talk to my child like that. He's my child. He could do whatever he wanted to do. And guess what? He said, unfortunately they had to go their separate ways. He loved her. He said it was no issues in between them, but he just couldn't deal with that. And see, because they were not married, see, it's easier when you're not married, but.

Shannon (15:36.621)
this season.

Amber (15:52.152)
Oh, that's not a good thing. Bye.

Amber (16:01.132)
Easy to walk away.

shun (16:03.299)
But once you tie that cord, it's not so easy to walk away. Nor is it an option really or it shouldn't be, you know, unless it's like it.

Shannon (16:03.341)
Uh huh.

Amber (16:09.624)
And that's the thing. I know that Scottie loves my kids. So you reprimanding them is not a problem for me, right? Because I know that you will go to the ends of the earth for my kids. I get it wholeheartedly. And it's not even, she just, she does not like, what is the word I'm looking for? She does not, authority.

Shannon (16:10.189)
Right, right.

shun (16:15.563)
Mm -hmm.

shun (16:20.675)
I get it.

Shannon (16:20.877)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (16:26.221)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

shun (16:36.097)
Authority.

Amber (16:38.233)
She does not like authority and it's not even, let me just tell y 'all what they argue about. This is the crazy part, cause it's not even that bad. They argue about her keeping her room clean and cleaning up after herself. That's what they argue about.

Shannon (16:38.605)
Hehehehe.

shun (16:38.967)
Mm -hmm. That's that's most kids.

Shannon (16:43.405)
and most people.

shun (16:52.931)
I'm sorry.

Shannon (16:54.957)
Hehehe.

Ah.

shun (17:03.435)
I'm sitting I'm sitting in the Twilight Zone because y 'all know I had three daughters when I met Jimmy and That's literally what they argue about it's like like you said amber like I'm just walking away from this now other things It was legit Shannon like the story I told of they want me to go to three different restaurants Shannon I mean Amber when I met Jimmy one way he KFC won't want me down as one one bird king and I would do all three Yeah

Shannon (17:05.485)
Yeah, yeah.

Amber (17:11.617)
Yep.

Shannon (17:20.555)
Oh, right, right.

Amber (17:24.153)
Oh, we not doing that. Girl, you crazy.

Shannon (17:24.685)
No, you crazy crazy Yes, I know oh yeah, I understand totally understand

shun (17:29.161)
I overcompensated because I worked a lot. So I Work 18 to 20 20 hours a day sometimes and I didn't see my kids for two three hours a day So I tried to do whatever I could to make to still feel like a mother right even though I was a single mother So I'm providing but anyways when I met him he was like that's even more crazy that you work 18 hours and you're going to do a service so whatever the case is We dealt with we dealt with

Amber (17:37.593)
Okay, I got it. I get it.

Amber (17:43.385)
Mm. Yeah.

Amber (17:51.801)
Hehehe.

Shannon (17:53.261)
Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

shun (17:57.123)
the things that needed to be dealt with. You know what I mean? The disrespect or you thinking you're gonna turn your back while you're talking. We dealt with all that. Now, but you have to decide people beyond our situations here, us three ladies personally, I want people to understand you have to decide if it's really a true issue that you need to be stressed out about. Is it meant to be a manipulation from the partner because they claim they like the kids or they like kids at all? Really don't, they just wanted you. First you have to find out your core issues, right?

Amber (18:03.211)
Oh yeah.

Shannon (18:05.613)
you

Amber (18:21.146)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (18:26.298)
Wait, wait, wait, you forgot the manipulation from the kid, because the kid can manipulate too.

shun (18:27.203)
Then you have to decide. Okay, go ahead.

Shannon (18:32.877)
Of course, of course, oh yeah.

shun (18:34.371)
I said partner because I definitely have one and I won't call her out We'll just say it's one of the girls who was a master manipulator and it took me years To see and I literally almost divorced my husband because of it and it took me years to see like she'd been getting me But like you said Amber, it's a mother's love and when you're a single parent for so long You form these bonds with these kids and it's almost unbreakable, right? You almost give up yourself for them. But Shannon and I had an episode on that too. You had to be very

Shannon (18:41.357)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amber (18:54.004)
Long. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Shannon (19:00.525)
Right, right.

shun (19:04.257)
Not to build that kind of bond with your kids because they're not they're meant to be in that space They're not spaces for whoever God said you should be sharing this life with it's not for the kids So, you know, you'll be torn at time and asking yourself where your love lies But you have to be sure you have to be sure it's lying in the right place. Okay?

Amber (19:05.154)
Yeah.

Amber (19:08.696)
You're right.

Shannon (19:09.581)
Right.

Shannon (19:14.987)
Yeah.

Amber (19:16.664)
Yeah.

Shannon (19:17.837)
Right.

Amber (19:23.832)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (19:24.717)
In the right place. Yeah, and I have to give a lot of love to my first stepfather because he did not have children. You know, my second stepfather had children when he married my mother, but the first stepfather, he was young. He didn't have children and he comes to my mother with these three kids and we were, you know, we were who we were. And I was the worst of the worst because, you know, being a daddy's girl, I was a terror. And I'll tell a little story about, um,

shun (19:32.097)
Okay.

Amber (19:46.074)
Hehehe

Shannon (19:54.731)
One day we're in we're on the air force base in in south, dakota And I don't I always follow my big sister. I always blame everything on her even though we're only a year apart I have to tell the story because We were in the back of the car On a summer afternoon or whatever and we're in the back seat Don't know how I can't my memory is not that great to see how we got there, but we're in the back seat sniffing glue

Amber (19:55.162)
Hehehehe

Shannon (20:23.809)
sniffing glue laughing and cutting up or whatever and my stepfather comes out and he's Disturbed because my mother's at work because they had different shifts They were both in the Air Force, but he had a different shift than her. So he was supposed to be watching us And here I am. I think I was nine at the time at this point So I was nine my sister Reese was ten and we're just sniffing glue and laughing and he's like get out of the car and sniffing glue and Like no, we're not

Who are you? I mean we just totally disrespected this man and He was so helpless now when I look back on it. I'm like this poor guy He couldn't do anything with us He had to go in the house and call my mother at work and say you need to come get your girls cuz they're in the backseat sniffing glue and I can't I Can't get them out of this car. Of course, she came home and weld on us. But hey, you know that

Amber (20:58.555)
Heheheheh

shun (21:05.057)
I'm sorry.

Amber (21:11.227)
I'm

shun (21:12.195)
Hehe, sniffing glitter.

Amber (21:22.603)
Ha ha ha!

Shannon (21:23.789)
But the things that kids will do, you he could have said, you know, hey, I don't know. I'm not I'm not cut out for this. I'm not. You know, this this won't work because these kids and you know, I was in total defiance of him. I didn't look at him as any authority figure, even though I was only nine and he was an adult. I'm like, you're not my daddy. So I'm a serious sniff this glue.

shun (21:26.947)
That's right.

shun (21:32.865)
Uh -huh.

Amber (21:46.715)
Hehehe.

shun (21:47.683)
That's right.

Amber (21:50.62)
But this is the funny part. Now I can look at Bianca phone and if Scottie calls, it says Pops. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, girl, what you gonna do? You mad cause he wants you to clean up, girl. And then they, you know, some of the conversation, some of their arguments.

shun (22:03.979)
Aww.

Shannon (22:04.685)
Uh...

Shannon (22:09.549)
Yeah.

Right. Right. Yeah.

Amber (22:20.348)
They both went below the belt. So that that put a strain on them. And it's like to him, she's disrespectful. And I'm like, Lord, now I know I raised my kids not to be disrespectful, but I know in the heat of an argument, anything can come out your mouth. And like I said, like I said before,

shun (22:24.481)
Right.

shun (22:45.923)
That's right.

Shannon (22:45.965)
That's right.

Amber (22:48.445)
Me personally, I waited until I was of age. Not that I would do that to an adult, an elder, but I waited until I was of age to even say anything to my mother's boyfriend. I would never say anything to him. So now I think in her head is, I'm an adult too.

shun (23:08.939)
Well, you know this generation is yep, and I must say this generation a little different honey. They're a little different

Amber (23:11.741)
I'm an adult too, yeah. But to me, to this day, yeah. To me, I know I'm an adult, but I know I would not talk sideways to my elder. And this generation is different. So I don't really have the answer to how you even go about it. In my perfect world, I would like everybody to just sit down and hash it out.

Shannon (23:17.357)
Yeah.

Shannon (23:28.621)
Yeah. Yeah.

Amber (23:41.821)
I don't want you to go back to, well, you did this and you did that. I really want them to just move forward and say, okay, going forward, how can we get this going? You know, how can we, if we have, yeah, if we have an issue, how do we sit down and really talk about this like adults and not talk at each other?

Shannon (23:42.189)
Right.

shun (23:55.331)
And I think that's absolutely the answer.

Shannon (24:06.445)
Right.

shun (24:10.475)
And I want to correct myself. I don't mean that's absolutely the answer I think that's absolutely a step in the right direction. It has to start with communication It has to start with communication because we're going nowhere, you know, you know, you're not gonna go anywhere And like you said especially going below the belt then you're gonna hold grudges I went through all of it, but I think Amber what you said to is key after they have age You kind of got to remove yourself like I I'd leave it now certain things I leave to Jim and my daughters to work out on their own

Amber (24:15.741)
Right direction, yeah.

Amber (24:26.128)
Yeah.

shun (24:38.755)
Because you find yourself X and where your love lies and you don't want to be you don't want to betray your husband You don't want to betray your kids, but sometimes it's just necessary to just step away You know and just let them figure it out because if you're always the mediator then it's always your headache You understand and it just can't be that way. So as the you know, women are the cool It's you know, that's gonna be season four, but We have to learn how

Amber (24:43.166)
Mm -mm.

Shannon (24:44.255)
Right.

Amber (24:48.062)
Yeah, I -I -

Shannon (24:49.355)
Yeah, yeah.

Amber (24:54.59)
Right. Yep.

Shannon (24:55.605)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Shannon (25:01.483)
Hehehehehe

Amber (25:02.078)
Mm -hmm.

shun (25:04.707)
how to address situations and if they just flat out refuse, then you know what? Let them be on their way. Y 'all figure it out. But I found sometimes it was easy for me just to remove myself from the situation. Yeah, and that's why you find yourself arguing and sometimes it's not even about us.

Amber (25:09.63)
Yeah, because that's how we argue.

Amber (25:15.774)
And I'm...

And no, it's not. It's not. And then it's like, you, we arguing, okay. Like, you know what I'm saying? We got things going on as a married couple. So you, we have to get ourselves together before we can even deal with these kids. Like, girl, I could go on and on and on.

shun (25:22.979)
I get it.

Shannon (25:30.221)
Yeah.

shun (25:43.235)
the kids.

And sometimes that can and sometimes I can and sometimes that can spill over too So we had to we have to be careful about that, right? Because if you and I are arguing you definitely not get ready to say to my kids because it's going now because now I feel like you attacking my kids because you mad at me So all those issues have to be addressed. Yeah, all those issues have to be addressed at the right temperature absolutely Absolutely. So yeah

Shannon (25:47.917)
That's right.

Amber (25:58.687)
That could be.

Shannon (25:59.149)
All right, yeah

Amber (26:07.391)
Right, right. And I'm, you know me, I want to talk it out. Well, let's talk it out. You can't be walking around here getting all mad at me and I don't even know why you mad.

Shannon (26:15.999)
Hehehehehe

Yeah.

shun (26:21.379)
That's right. That's right.

Amber (26:24.991)
So yeah.

shun (26:25.475)
Well, I think we pretty much hit the good points on it, Amber, and I'm happy you brought up communication because that is the key. Either one of you have anything else you want to add before we wrap it up to the next segment?

Shannon (26:26.655)
All right.

Shannon (26:31.597)
Yeah. Yeah.

Amber (26:32.992)
It is.

Shannon (26:37.869)
And that's it.

Amber (26:38.048)
I would just say God bless anybody, well God bless everybody, but when you're in a marriage and you have kids from one side and kids from the other side, God bless you because it is hard work.

Shannon (26:45.933)
Hehehehe.

shun (26:46.019)
Hahaha!

shun (26:51.235)
But landed families are tough baby it is this is second job third at 30 even But I Yeah, it is and like you said God bless everybody but blended families need some extra prayer. You ain't never lied extra blesses in prayer and We could just yeah, we can we can wrap it up and just say if everyone is honest and like Amber said several times

Shannon (26:52.427)
Yeah.

Shannon (26:56.525)
Right, right, mm -hmm. Yep.

Amber (26:58.592)
It is hard work and yeah, got some extra blessing. Yes, yes, they do.

Shannon (27:06.413)
All right.

shun (27:19.651)
willing to communicate and consider everyone's position in a situation, you know, with an open mind. We won't have to question where our love lies every day. You know, it won't be a bowl of sunshine rays, but it shouldn't be a battle every day either, you know. It's best to assess what is expected from everyone, right, from the beginning, because blended families, you know, may not be bound by blood, but they should be sealed with love from every angle. So whatever it is, we need to be able to hatch it out.

Amber (27:23.092)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Shannon (27:24.589)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (27:34.08)
right.

Shannon (27:35.213)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (27:45.438)
Mm -hmm.

Amber (27:49.182)
Amen.

Shannon (27:51.245)
love it.

shun (27:52.691)
All right, Shannon, take us on to the audience at Bay.

Shannon (27:54.541)
All right, on to the audience invite. Here we go.

shun (28:00.309)
Here we go. The title of last week's song was goodbye by jagged edge and the title of last week episode was I don't want to hold your bag now. That's an old school rmb classic that is self -explanatory But just in case you've been under a crate and never heard that please take time to listen to this song in its entirety And if you've ever had to end a relationship reluctantly grab some Kleenex too, baby

Shannon (28:07.181)
I am.

Shannon (28:11.477)
Mm -mm.

shun (28:29.505)
And if you can dig that song or guess the name of the tomb that goes with the lines dropped in tonight's episode or any of the tubes we dropped this season Be sure to hit us up. This is your official invite to email us at wifeyandbabymama .gmail .com That's wifeyandbabymama .gmail .com and keep in mind if you have any topics you would like for us to break down Send it to us also to the same email wifeyandbabymama .gmail .com. We are here for

Shannon (28:30.357)
Hehehehehe

shun (28:58.819)
it. All right baby mama do your thing.

Shannon (29:00.813)
Yes, we are. All right. Thank you. On to the final segment of tonight. The fictional family I'm feeling. The fictional family I'm feeling tonight is the Pearsons or Persons, I think is how they pronounce their name. And for those of you who have seen, are we there yet or are we done yet? You know, ice cube with me along.

That's their franchise. But starting with the Are We There Yet franchise, and Ice Cube and Nia Long. And she was Suzanne, and he was Nick. And he got with her and her two kids from a previous relationship. She had a daughter, Lindsay, a son, Kevin. And the two kids did everything that they could.

to sabotage any relationship their mother was in. They did not want her with anybody. And so not only was he not the typical guy, cause she was the professional one and he was the, you I want to say rough neck, but in this day and age, we probably call him a rough neck, but he wasn't all polished in what they were used to, but even it didn't matter. They didn't like the ones before him or the ones, you know, or him.

so they did all these things to sabotage and He Did all this along the way Throughout the whole film trying to win them over and then finally, you know turning on them and they you know He did exactly what they set out to do. So the scene I'll talk about tonight is they it's pretty much the ending the final ending and he

Messed up and ran off Suzanne my girl Nia long who I love ran her off and her kids and it was over and He had this little bobblehead in his car and the voice of the bobblehead was my guy Tracy Morgan and Tracy Morgan he's standing there looking all sad and forlorn forlorn and Tracy Morgan says to him

Shannon (31:20.845)
He says, do you know what they call a 50 year old bachelor? And Nick, who is Ice Cube says what? He said lonely. That's what you call a 50 year old bachelor. And I laugh at that now because I was 50 when I got married. I'm like, was I just lonely? OK, well, that's another episode. But anyway, but he runs to Nia Long's or Suzanne's.

shun (31:24.579)
Thank you.

shun (31:41.667)
the

Shannon (31:49.197)
room where she is with the kids and he knocks on the door and she's like what are you doing here? He said I just want to see the kids and she's like no their kids leave them alone you know they don't like you we don't like you you know whatever he's like no I just want to you know I want to explain you know I want to talk to them and she's like they don't need excuses they need a man and he says well then let me talk to him because you know I feel like

You know, I have something to say. And also, if this is the end of us, well, no, it is the end. This is the end of us. I want to say goodbye to the kids. So he goes into the room. She lets him in. And they're so happy to see him. After everything that they've done to sabotage and break this relationship up, they light up when Nick walks into the room. So you can see that that bond has been made between him and those kids.

And so he sits down with them and he says, look, your mother is a wonderful lady. She's a wonderful, wonderful person. And I know she's going to be dating guys that are better than me because, you know, because they weren't on the same level in his, in his eyes. So he says, you know, she's going to get something better than me. He said, but however,

You too have got to stop running them off because she deserves Happiness she deserves someone in her life and you can't deny her this is pretty much what he knows what his exact words i'm Rewriting the script a little bit, but he's pretty much saying she deserves to have that in her life. So stop running off these guys um, and allow her to have something in her life and they were like

shun (33:30.179)
.

Shannon (33:42.825)
Yes, the kids, they totally agreed and they said, but we really want you to be here and we really want you now because after everything that they'd gone through and they saw that he always had their back, they recognized that, hey, no matter what we did to him, he was gonna hold us down. And he's like, well, I gotta go. And he gave them each his necklaces, cause he was, you know, wore all this bling.

And he gave it to him and he says, I gotta go. And then he apologizes to Suzanne and he says, you know, I'm sorry about everything that happened. And I just want you to know, I hope we can still be friends. And she says, no, we cannot be friends. That will never happen. And the kids are like, oh, they're down. What, what? You know, and he's down and he goes to walk away and she says, we can't be friends because I want much more than that.

I want to be more than just your friend. Yes. And the kids say, and then it's New Year's Eve, or New Year's, and the fireworks start going off. And one of the kids says, aren't you supposed to kiss her? Which is the perfect ending, because they never wanted their mother with anyone. And now they're asking this man who they tried to deter. And if.

shun (34:45.057)
Mmm.

You

Shannon (35:10.133)
They would have let that happen It would have never been a relationship, which is what happens in a lot of people's Relationships and that's why people say I don't want to date anyone with kids and that's another I know the show Sean. That's another show we're doing but people will say I'm not dating We're not dating any work is but

shun (35:27.491)
Yeah, I like to study. I'll tell you. Yeah.

Amber (35:32.262)
used to bring Brandon on for that show.

Shannon (35:37.549)
Yes, so the fact that you know, they were able to pull it back together and she recognized hey, my kids couldn't run them away no matter what they did. And then they of course turn around and learn to love him. And he learned to love them throughout all the chaos and that takes a lot of maturity. We get that. But that is the fictional family I'm feeling the fear, Harrison's.

shun (35:40.147)
I'm sorry.

shun (36:05.891)
Awesome Awesome awesome. That's one of my favorite movies But you know what I got out of it Shanna is what amber said when you said the mother said No, and then she did move out the way and let him talk to the kids now had the mother Stayed in it, you know side with her kids. He would have walked away and you'd lost your good man Sometimes it's good for the mom to just step away. So that's what I got from that whole story moms Sometimes it's good to let the dad's daughters and the sons has y 'all

Shannon (36:07.049)
Harrison's.

Shannon (36:18.025)
Yeah.

Shannon (36:23.661)
Exactly. Beautiful.

shun (36:33.123)
and women. Sometimes women come into families. This is not always a stepdad entering the family. Something like your fictional family last week, Shannon, was Julia Roberts entering into that family. So sometimes it's good for the other parent to just step away and let the incoming parent hatch it out. Great fictional family.

Shannon (36:38.189)
Right.

Mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

Shannon (36:49.165)
That's right. That's right. All right. Thank you, Amber. We love having you. Love having you.

shun (36:52.641)
Amber, thank you for joining us tonight, darling.

Amber (36:55.975)
Pleasure! It was my pleasure. Thank you.

shun (37:02.755)
And thank you to all of our guests for being with us again another week. We love you all so much. Shannon, take us out of here, baby.

Shannon (37:09.485)
Yes, and to all of those around the world, until next week.