Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun:
Hey, I'm Sean.

Shannon:
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun:
and we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Family, we are high to have yet again, a guest joining us tonight for

Char:
and

Shun:
this week's episode titled What Gives. Shar, why don't you introduce yourself to the listeners.

Char:
Hello people, my name is Shara Smith from Buffalo, New York.

Shun:
Thank you for

Shannon:
Hey,

Shun:
joining us, Shire.

Shannon:
welcome, Sharr.

Char:
Hello ladies.

Shun:
Taking time out of your crazy schedule to join us tonight. As you listeners may know, we love guest sold. We're gonna

Shannon:
Yes,

Shun:
be

Shannon:
we

Shun:
excited

Shannon:
do.

Shun:
tonight. This is gonna be a great episode. Now, if you know me well enough to know, Shire has been doing this half about 20 years, give or take. Besides the few years I returned to Alabama, but soon as these fit. feet hit the ground back in Buffalo was back to business as usual. So we've been

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
down a long time. She don't answer my texts sometimes. Y'all she get mad at me and make my hair look crazy. But other than that, we'd be good.

Char:
I'm going to go ahead and turn it

Shun:
But

Char:
over

Shun:
most

Char:
to you. I'm going

Shun:
people

Char:
to turn it over

Shun:
know

Char:
to you.

Shun:
the barber shops and salons, you know, they're like, what? Our second homes, right lady. So you become

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
intimate, you know, Shannon,

Shannon:
you do.

Shun:
you always talk about my, my flawless Bob's well.

Shannon:
Oh yeah,

Shun:
This is

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
the magic. This is the magic happening. This is one who makes the magic happen on this head shannon So thank you again char. Um, I was led to x um char

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
on the show when shannon and I Discussed uh the title Um, we've been friends for so long. We've discussed a lot of things from food to kids but intimately Details about relationships because you know, that's what friends do right? We walked each other through some really hard time so I thought of her because um This topic is perfect for her, you know, so if you guys also have read my book, you know This is the infamous shire and my

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
ride or die So if you haven't read you want to know a little more about how I get down and my friends you gotta know I've found if i'm full which I don't fool with you. So that's my girl so um All

Shannon:
And

Shun:
right,

Shannon:
I

Shun:
so

Shannon:
can

Shun:
we'll get

Shannon:
tell

Shun:
into next

Shannon:
you too

Shun:
go ahead

Shannon:
before you get into I'm sorry Sean, but

Shun:
No,

Shannon:
if

Shun:
you're fine.

Shannon:
I lived in Buffalo, if I was back in Buffalo, believe me, Shire, I would I would come to see you. So

Char:
I will love to have

Shannon:
I have

Char:
you

Shannon:
to

Char:
Shannon.

Shannon:
say.

Shun:
She always tell me y'all here is always so perfect. I'm like trust me. It's not

Shannon:
Always.

Shun:
me. It's not me I'll be I call her Shannon. I'm calling her like five minutes before like I gotta go so she like oh come on And sometimes she'd be like I can't do it. I can't do it.

Char:
I'm

Shun:
I just

Char:
going

Shun:
can't

Char:
to

Shun:
do

Char:
go

Shun:
it

Char:
ahead

Shun:
I'd be like,

Char:
and

Shun:
okay

Char:
close the

Shun:
cool.

Char:
video.

Shun:
You know, it is what it is. Love you call you next week So we

Shannon:
Yes,

Shun:
got that

Shannon:
that's

Shun:
love-hate

Shannon:
what

Shun:
relationship

Shannon:
you like.

Shun:
that most

Char:
Thank

Shun:
stylists,

Char:
you.

Shun:
you know and customers have but you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world. You know, the more, like I said, time you spend with somebody, the more intimate you would get with them. And I felt like she was comfortable enough in her womanhood to run this title with us tonight. So I asked, she answered the call. So here we are. And tonight, guys, we're going to do it. Yeah, just a little different. Instead of me just rattling on because we have a guest so we could have another voice besides my own and Shannon. And

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
I read a little more than Shannon. So you probably even enjoyed that more. We're gonna do a few touch points. So the first one being, are women destined to be alone without selling? Shannon and I are both married. So thank God we out of the rat race. But I have plenty of single friends like Char, who's been in the long-term blended relationships, that it's a lot of work and commitment to. And sometimes unfortunately they just don't work out. And I respect people who are strong enough to call it and draw the line. You know what I'm

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
saying? without making each other miserable for the rest of their lives just so they can say I'm in a relationship. So

Char:
All right.

Shun:
it's hurtful, it's hurtful, but I respect the ones more who can call it and I quote also the ones who eventually work it out. And for you guys who just stay to say I'm in a relationship, that's so unhealthy. So,

Shannon:
It

Shun:
you know,

Shannon:
is.

Shun:
whatever side you're on, assess it, do what's best for you, but make sure it's a healthy choice in whatever you do. So, sure, I want to pick your brain a little bit on that question. Do you Do you feel it's still a chance at love or at times do you like you know? Do you say like I'm just gonna be alone? I don't be with anyone else All right, and feel free to give whatever background you need to on why you feel the way you do

Char:
Okay. No, I don't feel like I'm going to be alone. I was in a relationship for 25 years. Now I'm just at peace. You know, I raised four kids. One I had on my own, three from my previous, you know, he had three boys, I had a girl. I'm not looking for nobody. They're gonna find me. I know God will send me somebody.

Shun:
That's

Char:
And right

Shannon:
Amen.

Shun:
it.

Char:
now I'm just getting to, you know, know myself again.

Shun:
Because

Char:
You

Shun:
after

Char:
know?

Shun:
25 years, right, it has to be some reprogramming that has to be

Char:
Yeah.

Shun:
done.

Char:
Definitely.

Shannon:
I'm sorry.

Shun:
It has to be some, where did I go wrong? Or why did I stay

Char:
Right.

Shun:
so long? Or why didn't I leave sooner? Or what could I have did to make it work? We have to go through all those stages, right, before we

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
jump into a new thing. Because if not, you bring those baggage and maybe questions into the next relationship and you start off all wrong.

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah,

Char:
All right. Well,

Shannon:
yeah.

Char:
I stayed for a long time because I grew up without a father. Me and my father never had a conversation a day in my life.

Shannon:
Oh wow.

Shun:
Wow.

Char:
I always wanted my child to have mother and father in the house. That's one of the reasons why I stayed. I didn't actually leave until my daughter got into her first year of college.

Shun:
Wow, commendable.

Shannon:
Yeah, definitely.

Shun:
I hear so many people that do that right and I think if you're strong enough to do that then kudos And again, if

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
you say These kids if you if you'd be like I ain't dealing with this no more and you can't take

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
it Especially like if it's an abusive

Char:
is that we

Shun:
type

Char:
can't

Shun:
thing,

Char:
just let the

Shun:
I don't

Char:
people

Shun:
advise

Char:
who

Shun:
that

Char:
are in

Shun:
but

Char:
the community,

Shun:
if you can

Shannon:
the

Char:
the

Shannon:
right.

Char:
people

Shun:
hold

Char:
who are

Shun:
out because

Char:
in the community,

Shun:
I'm gonna

Char:
the people

Shun:
say

Char:
who

Shun:
girls

Char:
are

Shun:
I stayed

Char:
in the

Shun:
in

Char:
community,

Shun:
my second marriage

Char:
the

Shun:
Between me and hubby being me or twice the second marriage. I stayed

Shannon:
Okay.

Shun:
then I was I was willing to hold it I'm not kidding you I was gonna hold it until my child was, my youngest daughter was old enough to

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
be like, okay, like you said, maybe on to college, but he left. I came home one day and he was gone. He was like, I couldn't do that no more. I was like, oh, thank you, Jesus. My heart

Char:
I'm

Shun:
was

Char:
not

Shun:
broke.

Char:
sure if I'm going to be able to do

Shun:
My heart was broke, but I didn't wanna make the call, Shar, for the very same reasons you did it. I already had two kids with two other men. You know what I mean?

Char:
that.

Shun:
They

Char:
I'm not

Shun:
didn't

Char:
sure.

Shun:
have their father. I'm like, I can't do this to this kid again. I can't do it to these kids

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
again. But

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
I was willing as a woman, I'm telling you to stay. So I'm not telling these people that don't do it. But one day I came home

Shannon:
Bye

Shun:
and

Shannon:
bye.

Shun:
he was like, I'm out. I was like, okay, cool. It hurt because I don't care how bad things get in the end. I don't care what happens. Once you spend an inordinate amount of time with the same person,

Shannon:
Mm-hmm,

Shun:
it hurts.

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
You know,

Char:
Yeah.

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
it does.

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
But the good thing about long-term relationships ending is not good, I should say. Maybe the more, what's the word I'm looking for guys? I lost the words. I guess the most helpful part is, when a relationship goes bad and you continue to stay, it's not like when the breakup is over, it's an instant heartbreak. Because women leave mentally way before we leave physically.

Shannon:
Oh yeah, for

Char:
Yeah,

Shannon:
sure,

Char:
yeah,

Shannon:
for sure.

Char:
that was made

Shun:
You

Char:
for

Shun:
know

Char:
a

Shun:
what

Char:
few

Shun:
I'm saying?

Char:
years.

Shun:
So I think

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
that helps if you've made up your mind to say, I'm going to do this for my daughter, I'm going to do this for my son, I'm going to do this for our kids. And then when it's finally over, it's not so heartbreaking because you're like, you, you knew, you know, someone in the back of your mind, like this is done, you know,

Char:
Right.

Shun:
but for those

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
kids, you're going to stay. And I think that when people see a 25 year, 10 year relationship, five relationship come to the end and then you with somebody 90 days later, they, man, what happened? Like they move right on. No, I've been gone.

Shannon:
Uh huh.

Shun:
I just physically there. So that's how sometimes people are confused. And that's why sometimes people just need to mind their business too. Whatever works

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
for you.

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
It works for you. You know what I mean?

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
So. Oh, she moved

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
on fast, he moved on fast. You don't know what that person has been doing and preparing herself for in the last three, four, five years. They've

Char:
You got that

Shannon:
That's

Char:
right.

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
been

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
exiting mentally, you know?

Char:
Right. Yeah, and I

Shannon:
So.

Char:
exited about a good five years before I left.

Shannon:
Okay.

Char:
Yeah.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
See? That's a real thing.

Shannon:
So, Sean had asked the question about destined to be alone, and you said no. So what are you doing? And I know as women, we're found for sure. We don't go out looking for, or we should not go out looking for love and hunting down men, but we also have to prepare ourselves for what God is sending our way. So what are you doing right now to... prepare yourself or put yourself in the right spot for that person that's coming.

Char:
What do you mean prepare myself like what?

Shannon:
Or, you know, like some people say, you can't sit on the couch. It's they're not going to come knocking on your door

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
or, you know, what are you doing

Char:
Well,

Shannon:
to.

Char:
as far as that, I'm really not doing anything. You know, I hang out with my girlfriends.

Shannon:
I don't

Char:
You

Shannon:
know.

Char:
know, I go out to a bar, you know, every now and then, but

Shannon:
Yeah.

Char:
I'm not going to look for a man and I know I'm

Shannon:
Oh,

Char:
probably

Shannon:
right.

Char:
not going to find a man in the bar. I'm going to have fun

Shannon:
Yeah.

Char:
with my friends. Actually, I don't even pay attention, you know, to the men. When I'm going, I'm just enjoying my girls. I just

Shannon:
Okay.

Char:
really feel like

Shannon:
Yeah.

Char:
they'll find me. I could be

Shannon:
Right, right.

Char:
pumping my gas. I don't know

Shun:
Absolutely.

Char:
where he's going to

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Char:
meet

Shun:
I mean I

Char:
me

Shannon:
Now

Shun:
agree if I

Shannon:
I

Shun:
would

Shannon:
have a lot of,

Char:
at. I travel

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
go

Char:
a

Shun:
ahead.

Char:
lot. I could be walking through the airport. I could meet him in a whole

Shun:
There

Char:
another

Shun:
you go.

Char:
state.

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
the fact.

Shannon:
true. Now I have a lot of friends who do the online, you know, dating and, you

Char:
I just

Shannon:
know, match.com

Char:
think that's so creepy.

Shannon:
and things like.

Shun:
It is creepy. I'm sorry in this day age.

Char:
I'm

Shun:
It's

Char:
sorry,

Shun:
creepy

Char:
I'm sorry. I'm not calling your friends creepy,

Shannon:
Oh no.

Char:
but I'm so

Shun:
The

Char:
nervous

Shun:
idea

Shannon:
I know,

Shun:
of

Char:
to

Shun:
it

Char:
do

Shannon:
I

Shun:
yeah

Shannon:
know. It

Char:
online

Shannon:
always freaked

Char:
dating.

Shannon:
me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've always been freaked out, you know, whenever one of my friends would say, I'm going to meet this guy, you know, this place or whatever. And I'm like, why? Why are you doing this? It's just, oh my gosh,

Char:
I have

Shannon:
I get

Char:
a girlfriend.

Shannon:
so nervous.

Char:
I have a girlfriend and her sister does like online dating too. It's ridiculous. And we were over her house one time and the next thing you know it was like the her house was surrounded with cops.

Shannon:
Oh my goodness.

Char:
And they were looking for her boyfriend that she had. But she wasn't over the house. at the time, but he made a phone call, I guess, to somebody he had a restraining order against, and they traced the phone call back to her

Shun:
back

Char:
address,

Shun:
to her house. Wow.

Char:
and they was looking for him, and he had beat a woman in the head with a hammer. He was

Shun:
See?

Char:
on

Shannon:
Oh my

Char:
Buffalo's

Shannon:
god.

Char:
Most Wanted, but her sister knew.

Shannon:
Oh my goodness.

Shun:
She know he was on Muswana?

Char:
Yes, she did.

Shannon:
Oh, that's awful.

Shun:
So she definitely

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
won some thug

Shannon:
awful.

Char:
Yes,

Shun:
life. Uh-uh,

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
baby

Char:
yes,

Shun:
ain't got

Char:
they

Shun:
time

Char:
had

Shun:
for

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
it

Char:
us all. Yeah, like it was

Shannon:
yeah.

Char:
a raid. You know, they had us all in the front room, wouldn't let us do anything. Like we was hiding the men.

Shun:
Book.

Shannon:
Oh my goodness.

Shun:
Like we was hiding

Shannon:
Oh wow.

Shun:
the man. Now see that's what I'm

Char:
Yeah.

Shun:
trying to I mean, I'm not knocking anything do you think but I watch too many crime shows Lord knows what my career I see

Shannon:
I know,

Shun:
too much of this.

Shannon:
I know, yeah

Shun:
I couldn't

Shannon:
I know.

Shun:
trust that Especially

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
like if you have kids and stuff, you know You got to be careful who you're bringing around your children because we I know have you guys have watched the show corona mines Those men

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
have business

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
suits. They have

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
boats and yachts. They'd be done killed somebody else and assume their identity Next thing you know, they on the boat and they having a good time They don't kill you and the kids okay and took your money

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
and identity,

Char:
Okay.

Shun:
too

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
You have to be careful with that stuff

Shannon:
you

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
do,

Shun:
why

Shannon:
you

Shun:
I

Shannon:
do.

Shun:
believe in not to be too holy or spiritual about it because you know Maybe everyone doesn't feel that way but we all I know everybody on this on this podcast operates that way I believe in letting God do the work, you know I

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
like I said hope to never find myself single again, but I'm so happy to hear sure that you didn't give up I'm a hopeless romantic.

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
So

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
If I were to ever, ever find myself single again, I hope I don't, Lord knows I don't. But

Shannon:
Now,

Shun:
I would

Shannon:
I

Shun:
still

Shannon:
do want

Shun:
want

Shannon:
to

Shun:
that

Shannon:
say

Shun:
black

Shannon:
this.

Shun:
love.

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah, I do want to say this. I do have friends that are in successful marriages that they did meet online and they've been married, you know,

Shun:
Yeah,

Shannon:
some

Shun:
it's always

Shannon:

Char:
It

Shun:
two

Char:
does

Shun:
sides

Shannon:
plus.

Char:
work.

Shun:
of a coin.

Char:
It

Shannon:
So

Char:
does

Shannon:
yeah,

Char:
work for some

Shannon:
it

Char:
people.

Shannon:
can work.

Char:
You

Shannon:
Yeah,

Char:
know, I

Shannon:
it

Char:
do

Shannon:
can

Char:
here

Shannon:
work.

Char:
and I have customers that's in

Shannon:
Yeah.

Char:
online relationships. I'm just saying it's

Shannon:
And

Char:
not

Shannon:
it works.

Char:
for me. I'm scared.

Shannon:
Yeah, it's not for me. It's

Shun:
I'm just

Shannon:
not for me.

Shun:
even when you forget the murders when you throw in the catfish girl don't think I'm In a relationship

Shannon:
Alright,

Shun:
when there's L and it's

Shannon:
oh my

Shun:
and it's

Shannon:
gosh,

Shun:
flavor play don't

Shannon:
yes.

Shun:
play with me You

Shannon:
Oh

Shun:
know what

Shannon:
my

Shun:
I'm saying?

Shannon:
gosh.

Shun:
You think

Shannon:
Yes

Shun:
you up here date and there's L and flavor flav knock on the door girl Bye, so I don't trust any of that for that reason

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
so but like you said Personalities sometimes overrides looks so to each his

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
own like I'm not knocking

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
it.

Shannon:
yeah, yeah.

Shun:
I don't believe in it though. Totally

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
You know,

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
I just want that unique feeling of like Char-Z walking through the airport, you know

Shannon:
Hmm.

Shun:
Picking up my groceries pumping my gas. Can I get that for you and turn around? yeah guys ever seen

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
that movie just right with um Queen Latifah and

Char:
That's

Shun:
um

Char:
one of my favorite

Shun:
Common

Char:
movies.

Shannon:
and

Shun:
see

Shannon:
common.

Shun:
and

Shannon:
Yeah.

Char:
Yes.

Shun:
my husband don't understand why I watch it 70 times. I'm like

Char:
Anytime

Shun:
best

Char:
they come

Shun:
what

Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe

Shun:
I'm

Char:
on, I'm watching it.

Shun:
I Said cuz

Char:
Pretty

Shun:
brother

Char:
woman,

Shun:
that's what I'm yes.

Char:
love and

Shun:
That's

Char:
basketball.

Shun:
what I'm looking for like you got it right here I'm like boy you don't even hold my hand goodbye so I love the way he takes care of my family

Shannon:
Oh

Shun:
I

Shannon:
my

Shun:
love

Shannon:
god,

Shun:
I could tell you what I know ain't nobody

Shannon:
oh

Shun:
gonna

Shannon:
well,

Shun:
ever bother his wife but

Shannon:
oh that's so

Shun:
he's not

Shannon:
funny

Shun:
he's just

Shannon:
Sean

Shun:
not so I gotta get romance off the TV but guess what I ain't out here cheating on you like you yeah okay

Shannon:
Be right,

Shun:
so that's a running

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
joke that we have because I watch romance movies because I'm a hopeless romantic

Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Char:
I

Shun:
but

Char:
am

Shun:
guess

Char:
too.

Shun:
what y'all

Char:
I love them.

Shun:
Let me tell y'all in these last two years. I'm breaking him down shower. You hear me? He called himself holding my hand up They told me get off me. So

Char:
I can see

Shun:
you gotta

Char:
it. I

Shun:
just

Char:
see it. I see

Shun:
You

Char:
it

Shun:
see

Char:
when

Shun:
it.

Char:
I see y'all. Yes,

Shun:
Yeah,

Char:
I do.

Shun:
you got it. You got to break on break them down, honey love

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
on him

Shannon:
yeah, yeah.

Shun:
So

Shannon:
Yeah, you

Shun:
don't

Shannon:
do you do.

Shun:
let the fact that he's not romantic be the only reason you can't stay mirror.

Char:
I see him

Shun:
Don't

Char:
put his

Shun:
let the

Char:
arm

Shun:
fact

Char:
around you at the book signing. I said look at you in the

Shannon:
I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.

Char:
public. Doing public display.

Shun:
You know what

Shannon:
He

Shun:
I

Shannon:
has

Shun:
learned

Shannon:
come

Shun:
to just

Shannon:
a long way.

Shun:
Yeah, I pray about it and let God break him down cuz we love the more I fussed about it the farther away He went, you know,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
so we got to just let him come to us, you know Gotta let it be a natural

Char:
I think

Shun:
thing

Char:
that's

Shun:
with everything

Char:
a good

Shun:
we do

Char:
question. I think

Shannon:
That's

Char:
that

Shun:
But

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
when you've been loved properly, it's kind of hard to not have it all, you know Like I said my ex-husband he was a hopeless romantic like we were oh my god food to the tree You know food to the bed put my shoes on before I can bend out. I got it, honey, but

Shannon:
Bye.

Shun:
He just didn't he handle the question you got to also be able

Shannon:
Okay.

Shun:
to tell me to shut up when I'm being too loud And I got to want to listen to you because I'm gonna go round for round with you. So I Told him be like sure be black. All right, I'm like what no they don't turn me on I don't turn me on I need to say it back. So

Shannon:
Right, right.

Shun:
You got to find that perfect blend, you know what I'm saying? But

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
we all know though nothing's gonna be 100% perfect

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
So,

Char:
Exactly.

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
you know what

Shannon:
Never.

Shun:
you got to pick you know what I'm saying? You got to pick the one you willing to go through with go through it with now Shannon do you have

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
do you have your

Char:
So,

Shun:
do you have your 80 20 or do you have a hundred percent like is it all you need just

Shannon:
It's 80-20

Shun:
oh no

Shannon:
for sure. For sure. You know.

Char:
I'm going to go ahead and start with the question

Shannon:
Hi.

Shun:
I want I wanted not to tell your business or not that you know ocean so what you got going on It's

Char:
of

Shun:
just

Char:
the

Shun:
to let everybody know everybody has something different You know each man each woman

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
have something different

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
to bring to the table.

Shannon:
right. Yeah,

Shun:
None

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
of us are gonna

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
have

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
it

Shannon:
Ha,

Shun:
all It's my mouth

Shannon:
ha,

Shun:
for me. He told me you got one

Shannon:
ha.

Shun:
more time. I said, okay I got a tone it down a little bit and I took the

Char:
Yeah,

Shun:
thug too

Char:
your

Shun:
far

Char:
mouth is crazy.

Shun:
So yeah, I took the thug too far one night. He's like one more time. I ain't ever did it again So you gotta you gotta find

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
your perfect

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
balance, you know,

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
if

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
you want If you want your perfect piece not a perfect

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
relationship But if you want perfect piece is certain things that every both partners got to be willing to give up So

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
don't equate being a wife to being perfect, you know, and shannon

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
was like well, what are you doing? I think I understood but sure I was I ain't doing nothing I understood

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
where you was going with that

Char:
I'm not

Shun:
shannon

Char:
sure

Shun:
It's

Char:
if I'm going

Shun:
like it's like the virgins and uh in the bible, you know with the wives and the oil right? You got to stay ready

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
So that's what I think when she said, I'm going out, I'm hanging out, I'm not sitting in a house in a row waiting for him to knock. She's not doing that. But I'm not out here, but okay, is that gonna be my husband? Oh, he nice

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
looking. Nobody

Shannon:
right,

Char:
to

Shun:
got

Char:
be able

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
time

Char:
to do that.

Shannon:
no,

Shun:
for that. And at the

Shannon:
no.

Shun:
40 or 45, I'm one of those people that believe in the love at first. Like what Shara's doing is preparing herself to be a wife because I've dealt with all those issues, all the heartache, all the distrust, whatever I may have had. So when my husband come along, I can just receive him properly and we can just

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
carry on. And it

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
don't take you 10 years or five years to do that. Do that before you find me. Because I'm gonna go ahead and put

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
you on the walk after about two years. Go ahead now.

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
And I'm not

Char:
Right.

Shun:
saying you have to rush into anything, but it doesn't take you 10 years to figure out if you want to marry me or not. I just don't

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
have time

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
for that at my age, you

Shannon:
It

Shun:
know?

Shannon:
does not take that long.

Shun:
Yeah, we're not doing the wheelchair down the aisle telling me I found love, girl.

Char:
Right, right.

Shun:
No, not doing that either. So you're gonna get a couple of months to a year or two and

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
I'm gonna go ahead and on to the next one.

Char:
My

Shun:
And that's

Char:
mother

Shun:
not

Char:
got

Shun:
looking.

Char:
married when she was 50.

Shun:
Wow,

Char:
She did.

Shannon:
See?

Shun:
yeah, see?

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
Shannon you

Shannon:
me

Shun:
always said

Shannon:
too,

Shun:
that you

Shannon:
me

Shun:
got

Shannon:
too.

Shun:
me or later in life for those same

Shannon:
Yep,

Shun:
reasons

Shannon:
yep, exactly. Yeah, it took me a long time to say it's something that I really wanted.

Char:
Yeah.

Shannon:
And meeting my husband and just seeing just how intense he was focused on me. And I've never had anyone that laser focused on what I call little me. I'm like, what is going on here? You know, it's

Char:
I'm

Shannon:
like,

Char:
sorry. That's what's up.

Shun:
because

Shannon:
you know?

Shun:
your person is your person. And

Shannon:
Yeah,

Char:
Right.

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
that's why

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
it doesn't take 10 years to figure it out.

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
It could

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
be six months, it could be six days, it could be after that, what you say, the first date. Okay, that's me. I

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
knew

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
when I met my husband at the, and I can tell you what else could be wrong too, it could be just bad timing sometimes. When I met my husband

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
at the bus stop at 19, after he took me home from college, I was like, that's me. I don't know why. At that first date, I was like, okay, that's definitely me.

Shannon:
Thank you.

Shun:
and I was laser focused on making him be my man, he wasn't ready.

Shannon:
Uh huh.

Shun:
You see what

Shannon:
Okay.

Shun:
I'm saying?

Char:
I'm going

Shun:
So

Char:
to

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
I

Char:
start

Shun:
don't

Char:
with

Shun:
care

Char:
a question

Shun:
how

Shannon:
Ha

Shun:
much,

Shannon:
ha!

Char:
from the audience. Do you miss

Shun:
I

Char:
focus?

Shun:
don't care, I was focused. I don't care how

Char:
I know you was.

Shun:
much you're

Char:
I was doing

Shun:
into

Char:
your

Shun:
a

Char:
hair

Shun:
person,

Char:
and she was focused.

Shun:
shut up, Shara. But no matter how focused I was, right, he wasn't ready.

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
So nothing I

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
did, and Shara, you know I was good to him, or ever since the day I met him, but nothing I did made him be ready. They have to make up

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
their minds. And guess

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
what? That took years of separation to get to the place we are now. So sometimes

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
you're not missing it, it's just bad

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
timing.

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
So Shar,

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah.

Shun:
let me ask you this. I know you said that your ex had three boys that you raised and you had a daughter. Would you consider dating someone with minor children again? Or are you just living your best life? That was a hard no, it was a

Shannon:
Before

Shun:
hard

Shannon:
you

Shun:
no.

Shannon:
get out

Shun:
Okay, so we ain't gotta discuss it. Ha

Char:
No.

Shun:
ha ha. Ha ha

Char:
You need

Shun:
ha.

Char:
older kids like older kids like mine. It's time to have fun and travel.

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
Absolutely.

Char:
I

Shannon:
yeah,

Char:
don't

Shun:
So

Char:
I don't

Shun:
we'll

Char:
want to stop in

Shannon:
yeah.

Char:
the middle of the day because we got to go get new from school

Shannon:
Right,

Char:
or

Shannon:
right.

Char:
daycare.

Shun:
So what you're saying, you don't want to help me raise Frankshire? Ha ha

Char:
No,

Shun:
ha.

Char:
I want to get Frank a hug when kids when I see him bye Frank.

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
And by bad

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
by bad, but Frank that's what you call But

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
um I'm gonna say sure I do applaud you waiting because in between My marriage to my second husband and remarrying my husband this time for the second time. I started

Char:
I'm

Shun:
running

Char:
going

Shun:
around like, okay,

Char:
to go ahead

Shun:
cool He left me.

Char:
and

Shun:
I would see

Char:
start

Shun:
I was a little

Char:
the

Shun:
angry cuz first of all

Char:
presentation.

Shun:
you leave I

Char:
So

Shun:
you don't

Char:
I'm going

Shun:
leave

Char:
to

Shun:
a

Char:
start with the question

Shun:
see

Char:
of how do

Shun:
first

Char:
you think

Shun:
of

Char:
the people

Shun:
all

Char:
who are in the community

Shun:
I stayed

Char:
are

Shun:
with

Char:
going to

Shun:
you when I

Char:
be

Shun:
want to

Char:
affected

Shun:
when I'm

Char:
by

Shun:
gonna

Char:
the

Shun:
come

Char:
COVID-19

Shun:
home and you gone

Char:
pandemic?

Shun:
So I was

Char:
So

Shun:
a

Char:
I'm

Shun:
little

Char:
going

Shun:
bitter,

Char:
to start

Shun:
you know Even

Char:
with

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
though I had did

Char:
the question

Shun:
some mess in between,

Char:
of how

Shun:
I understood

Char:
do you

Shun:
he was well within his

Char:
think

Shun:
rights to leave, but still

Char:
the

Shun:
I was staying

Char:
people who are

Shun:
and I felt like

Char:
in

Shun:
you should

Char:
the

Shun:
have

Char:
community

Shun:
stayed too. But that was that man's

Char:
are going

Shun:
choice,

Char:
to be affected

Shun:
right?

Char:
by the pandemic? So I'm going

Shun:
But

Char:
to start

Shun:
I was

Char:
with

Shannon:
Right?

Shun:
hurt.

Char:
the question of how

Shun:
So

Char:
do you

Shun:
I started

Char:
think

Shun:
running around

Char:
the

Shun:
with

Char:
people

Shun:
this little young boy and

Char:
who

Shun:
honey, it was

Char:
are

Shun:
all good,

Char:
in the community

Shun:
baby. Okay, so it's a family show. So I was

Shannon:
Yes

Shun:
into

Shannon:
it

Shun:
the boy,

Shannon:
is.

Shun:
right? I was into the boy, but y'all know after a couple of months, it was like eating dirt. Like suddenly

Char:
I don't know.

Shannon:
AAAAAA

Shun:
it repulsed me.

Char:
Yeah.

Shun:
Because you know what? I have moved out of my place in God.

Shannon:
Yes

Shun:
And so

Shannon:
you

Shun:
therefore,

Shannon:
had.

Shun:
he did not allow me to get comfortable in that mess. I ran back to God. I told him this ain't gonna work. He said, I kind of feel the same way. I'm telling you, if you will stay in your place, even if you come out of place, if you're covered,

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
he'll

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
bring you back in. You just keep connected, keep a connection. Even if you're out of pocket, keep a connection and he'll bring you back in. But I stopped dating him. I went back to church. I was focused on me and my children, what you're doing, Shari, without the kids, minus the minor kids, just going to church, work. Like you said going out with my friends just keeping my mind on jesus came back to a funeral ran back into my husband and boom We've been together ever since

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
now. It wasn't

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
peaches and cream But I was in my place So therefore god brought him back god brought him to his place because he saw me remain in mine and stay fast on it So

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
I think what you're doing shaw is beautiful I think you

Shannon:
Yes,

Shun:
keep doing

Shannon:
it

Shun:
what

Shannon:
is.

Shun:
you're doing and I can't wait to stand next to you in the hour, baby Walk it down like you did

Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shun:
me, baby. Yeah, we put another night down in the books, baby. We party

Char:
You're

Shun:
like

Char:
right.

Shun:
rock stars.

Char:
We did it. That was a good time.

Shun:
It was a good time

Char:
Yes.

Shun:
ladies and this has been good to my soul. Y'all I can go all night. Shannon you got anything else

Shannon:
Yes,

Shun:
to add?

Shannon:
yes, nothing else to add. It's been

Shun:
I truly

Shannon:
really

Shun:
enjoyed

Shannon:
good.

Shun:
this topic and it's always wonderful to have, you know, another opinion besides our

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
own. So I love it here, but it's time to move on. So Char,

Char:
So,

Shun:
you're about to

Shannon:
All

Shun:
witness

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
a real live red line. Y'all ready?

Char:
yes,

Shannon:
All

Char:
I'm

Shannon:
right,

Char:
ready.

Shannon:
we are on to the red lines.

Shun:
This week's red line is titled, sides should only be served as dishes. It's time to get back to the queens that we are called to be. And I can speak on both sides of this coin because I've been a side anime. And the titles themselves, you know, explain which one's more rewarding, right? No one wants to be a side dish. No one wants to be the carrot so the celery people push to

Char:
I

Shun:
the

Char:
think

Shun:
side,

Char:
that's

Shun:
right?

Char:
a good question.

Shun:
I mean, I eat it sometimes, depending on how hungry I am

Shannon:
No.

Shun:
waiting

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
for the main dish, but still, that's not what we go for, right?

Shannon:
That's right.

Shun:
I'm telling you. Seriously, the main course is what we all wait for, so let these men wait. We can no longer give men the opportunity or better yet allow ourselves to believe that we are only worth a night or two. You know, here or there, a weekend in Vegas, a all-star game or the trophy piece, you know, when his man is coming to town and he need a pretty girl to present. Stop it.

Char:
All right.

Shun:
Look into the mirror as many times as you need to, just as I had to every day until I got it right and say, you are a masterpiece.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
You know,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
if they can't see it, their loss, move on. God thinks the world of us. And if these men don't do the same, then let them pass. That's not your person. He doesn't deserve you. And it took me a couple of rounds of bumping my head before I broke free of, I need a man. You know, I'm gonna be,

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
I'm gonna be alone. I've been a force to reckon with ever since I found out who I was. So get to know yourself and wait for the man that God has for you. It didn't matter how many men I had been with or how many men you've been with. The right one is prepared to spiritually and emotionally take care of you, like the gift that you are. And remember he who find that the wife find this a good thing. So until that man comes along, be good to yourself, ladies. And that's my red line topic for today.

Char:
Alright.

Shun:
I'm going to go to bed.

Shannon:
Amen. Loving it.

Shun:
Thank

Shannon:
And I

Shun:
you.

Shannon:
want to say to the young, young girls too, you know, I know, you know, a lot of them are out here, you know, getting money from these dudes who are getting money by, you know, various means and they, they are side pieces because of that lifestyle and they're saying I'm going to stick around for this because my bills are paid. riding in a nice car, you know, some are even put up in apartments. So young girls, that is not enough. That is not why you're here. That is not God's purpose for your life

Shun:
and

Shannon:
to

Shun:
had enough

Shannon:
live like

Shun:
money to

Shannon:
that.

Shun:
pay for your soul.

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
You didn't have enough

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
money to cleanse it either.

Char:
It's not because that's another reason Shannon in the beginning I was with him and I didn't care what he did because He was a good provider and a protector.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Char:
So long as everything was you know, I didn't pay for anything, you know And I

Shannon:
Yeah,

Char:
just you know, well,

Shannon:
yeah.

Char:
you can you wake up one day. I'm the prize, you know

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
Absolutely,

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
honey!

Shannon:
Yes, amen and

Char:
And

Shannon:
amen.

Char:
I could

Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah,

Char:
take care of myself. So,

Shun:
Absolutely,

Char:
you know.

Shun:
we got the same two hands and the same two feet

Char:
Yeah,

Shun:
they got. Absolutely.

Shannon:
that's

Char:
yeah.

Shannon:
right. All right,

Char:
So.

Shannon:
love it. All right, love that red line. So for those of you who would like the chance to win a $100 gift card, submit your red line. Whatever's on your... on your chest, whatever you want to get off your chest, submit your red line to wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. And if we choose your red line to read on our show the third Thursday of each month, you will win a $100 gift card. So please submit your submissions. Once again, that is wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. We look forward to reading them, and we really enjoy. the submission. So thank you all for submitting them each week. All right, so now we're on to the final segment of our show, the segment we like to call The Fictional Family I Am Feeling. All right, The Fictional Family I'm Feeling this week. The family, they're called the Robinsons. Sherri Shepherd, she had a show back in the day before she had, you know, had her successful talk show today. But on the Sherri Show, She had an ex-husband played by Malcolm Jamal Warner and they had a son together. And she needed to go, or it was time for her to go out on a date because she hadn't dated in like 15 years or so or whatever. And she went on a date and at the end of the date, They had a really great date. And at the end of the date, they went in for the kiss and she kind of messed things up or whatever because she was nervous or out of practice or whatever. So it bums her out and she decides she's not gonna date anymore. So she's sitting on the couch and her father comes over and he says, you have to get off this couch. He says, I'm gonna take you out. So he starts taking her out. I mean, really taking her out. They're going out. You see them on a boat. You see them going to the movies. You see them at dinner. You see them doing all these things that couples do. And she realizes, oh, what the heck, I'm dating my father.

Char:
I'm going to go ahead and turn it over

Shun:
Hehehehehehe

Shannon:
And

Char:
to you. So, I'm going to turn it over to you.

Shannon:
so she sits him down and she says, OK, we can't do this anymore. He said, oh, I'm so glad you finally said it. He said, because I was about to dump you. And she was like, well, you can't dump me. I'm your daughter. But he's like, you really needed to get out. He says, that's the only thing I was trying to do is to get you off the couch and get you back out there so that you can find love again. And she said, well, dad, I really want to, but I'm scared. And he says, so what? Do it scared. And she kind of looked at him like, hmm, really? He's like, right, do it scared, just do it. It doesn't matter how you do it, just get out there. So next scene, you see her walking to the apartment of the guy she had flubbed the date with. She knocks on his door, he opens the door, and she says, this is how the night was supposed to end. And she lays a big kiss on him. And on to, you know, goes on to live happily ever after, you know, so on and so on. So I think that was a beautiful thing for. First of all, for her dad to try to help, but then for him to tell her to do it scared. Just get out

Shun:
And

Shannon:
there.

Shun:
yeah, and you know, I want to say the do it scared is great. You know, you, you never know if you don't try, but the do it scare

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
can also

Char:
And

Shun:
apply in the

Char:
I'm

Shun:
other way, like Sharon,

Char:
going

Shun:
I was speaking of being in relationships when you're stuck,

Char:
to do

Shun:
move

Char:
the

Shun:
on, do it scared. If it's unhealthy,

Shannon:
Oh, right, right.

Shun:
do

Char:
same

Shun:
it scared. If it means taking care of your own bills and raising your kids alone, do it scared of that means

Char:
thing

Shun:
finding the man got supposed to have

Char:
with

Shun:
for

Char:
the

Shun:
you

Char:
other two. I'm going

Shun:
instead

Char:
to do the same

Shun:
of

Char:
thing

Shun:
staying

Char:
with the other two.

Shun:
somewhere

Char:
So, I'm going

Shun:
comfortable

Char:
to

Shun:
and

Char:
do the same

Shun:
unsafe.

Char:
thing with the other two. Exactly.

Shun:
So it's scared either way.

Char:
Excuse

Shun:
Great, great fictional family girlfriend.

Char:
me.

Shannon:
All

Char:
Wait, wait,

Shannon:
right,

Char:
wait.

Shannon:
so that's the Robinson's,

Char:
I'm going

Shannon:
the

Char:
to go

Shannon:
fictional

Char:
ahead and turn it over

Shannon:
family

Char:
to you, and then

Shannon:
I'm filling

Char:
we'll go ahead

Shannon:
this

Char:
and get started.

Shannon:
week.

Char:
So, I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to you, and then

Shannon:
Okay,

Char:
we'll go ahead

Shannon:
so

Char:
and

Shannon:
we

Char:
get started.

Shannon:
have come

Char:
So, I'm going

Shannon:
to

Char:
to go ahead

Shannon:
the

Char:
and turn

Shannon:
end

Char:
it over to you, and then

Shannon:
of

Char:
we'll go ahead

Shannon:
our

Char:
and get started.

Shannon:
show

Char:
So, I'm going

Shannon:
tonight.

Char:
to go ahead and turn

Shannon:
We

Char:
it over

Shannon:
want

Char:
to

Shannon:
to

Char:
you,

Shannon:
thank

Char:
and then

Shannon:
you

Char:
we'll go

Shannon:
all

Char:
ahead

Shannon:
for

Char:
and

Shannon:
listening,

Char:
get started. So, I'm going

Shannon:
subscribing

Char:
to go ahead

Shannon:
and downloading

Char:
and turn it over to you, and then we'll

Shannon:
all

Char:
go ahead

Shannon:
of our

Char:
and get started.

Shannon:
podcasts. We do have to announce, I forgot, Sean, we haven't been announcing this, but we are now in six countries around

Shun:
Woo!

Char:
I

Shannon:
the globe.

Char:
got it.

Shannon:
So,

Shun:
Applause.

Shannon:
I

Char:
Yes.

Shannon:
know, oh, I forgot, we're in applause, yes!

Shun:
applause

Shannon:
Six countries! I

Shun:
That is awesome

Char:
That's

Shun:
Star

Char:
awesome

Shun:
we

Char:
guys.

Shannon:
know.

Shun:
thank you. So we gonna have some more listens at the shower tonight because she's single She said she waiting fellas.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
So, you know Make sure y'all at the gas station airport. She liked to travel Not at the bar though. She just hang with us. They can't hang with us when we at the bar, but

Char:
I'm waiting.

Shannon:
Right, right,

Shun:
I Thank

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
you sharp for joining us tonight

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
and we look forward to many more episodes So if you ever want to come back reach out, you got you

Shannon:
Please. Yes. Welcome. Anytime.

Char:
Okay, thank you guys for having me.

Shun:
You're very welcome, darling.

Shannon:
Okay, so we look forward to talking to everyone next week. And

Shun:
Love

Shannon:
until

Shun:
you

Shannon:
then,

Shun:
all.

Shannon:
love you all.

Shun:
Bye.

Char:
All right, good night.