Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun:
Hi, I'm Shawn.

Shannon:
Hi, I'm Shannon.

Shun:
We're the host of wifey and baby mama as always we want to thank you all who listened and subscribed on last week and Welcome you to this week's episode title the importance of I do Now I know my fellow Saints out there her wondering why in the world didn't they start with this topic? I? Know my faithful Christians that that would be the logical thing to do But as we discussed and most of our topics Life is not always logical. Life is not always in order. I know I didn't start out in order So I

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
didn't want to you know, come off like Yeah You know I didn't want to and we can't stress enough shannon that we don't want to come off as perfect and we got it all together Because we're both married now, you know

Shannon:
Right, we're not perfect

Shun:
You know, I

Shannon:
people.

Shun:
don't want to come off as judgmental like Not at all and I don't want to come off like oh we are married and this is what you should do and That that's not what we're here to do. We're here to try to help people If we can't stand enough, save you for some of the things we did go through, you know, and I'm happy though, Shannon We can do that As the team that we are we don't

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
have any

Shannon:
me.

Shun:
drama amongst ourselves and that makes us, you know It makes it better. I think to put this message out

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah. And the importance of saying I do, unfortunately, you know, I didn't have that before I had my child, but I do stress that when I do talk to the younger folks in the younger generations. that want to have a child with someone and they think, you know, because this person, is there everything, is there world, or even as I talked about last week, you feel like just because you have a child with someone that that's your person, that's not always the case. So,

Shun:
Not at all.

Shannon:
understanding that we would rather you say I do and have a child instead of. you know, having a child out of wedlock, not saying that marriage will guarantee, you know, the success of raising

Shun:
You got that

Shannon:
a child

Shun:
right?

Shannon:
together. Yeah, because

Shun:
You

Shannon:
we

Shun:
got

Shannon:
all

Shun:
that

Shannon:
know

Shun:
right

Shannon:
marriage,

Shun:
the marriage

Shannon:
marry.

Shun:
won't

Shannon:
Go ahead, Char.

Shun:
Marriage isn't a guarantee for anything No, I was saying

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
marriage isn't a guarantee for anything unless you do

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
it right and you do it from the

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
word and you know You just do it from a place where you should be a place of God You know saying I do just

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
for benefits or saying I do you know just because someone has money or because you have a baby I guarantee it's

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
not gonna work. It's not gonna work unless you come to it in order

Shannon:
Exactly. And even though my husband and I, we don't have children together, you know, we have our stepchildren, you know, his children from a previous marriage and then of course my child. Even though we don't have children together, we do recognize the importance of saying I do and, you know. bringing our grown children together because I didn't get married of course until way late in life so our children were already adults but we still want them to blend and you know have a relationship and we've worked through that and one thing that I can give my husband credit for is when we first started dating he had a vision and he said if the goal isn't marriage what are we doing? and to align yourself as women, young women, with someone who would say that. And as a young girl, when I was 17, having my child, or I didn't have my child at 17, but I met his father at 17, but being a young mother at 20, not realizing and recognizing that the importance of I do, Not that it would have made me and my child's father work. That wouldn't have been the answer. The answer would have been just trying to, you know, look at not having this situation, or, you know, just planning, making better plans. Better planning is all I'm talking

Shun:
better

Shannon:
about.

Shun:
decisions,

Shannon:
Better

Shun:
better

Shannon:
decisions,

Shun:
decisions.

Shannon:
yeah. I love my son. My son is not a mistake. He is not an oops baby, like we talked about last week. Loving the pieces. But young

Shun:
But

Shannon:
people need to understand the importance of I Do. I Do

Shun:
Well, the thing about it is we make a joke. Well, you made a joke and it is,

Shannon:
Hehehehe

Shun:
that's a term, the oops baby. But to be honest, no babies are oops babies. Babies are born and they are called before we even know them, okay?

Shannon:
That's true.

Shun:
So

Shannon:
God knew them before they were here.

Shun:
yeah, the oops, yeah, the oops may be in the place they're made or the way

Shannon:
I'm

Shun:
they're

Shannon:
going

Shun:
made,

Shannon:
to go to bed.

Shun:
but we are meant to be their parents and they're called to who they should be.

Shannon:
to.

Shun:
My kids, like I said, my children were born out of wet lot. I was young. Hot-headed unlearned and just you know, I'm gonna if I can call it correctly. I'm the mother of four I can tell you that all four of them was not in a good place None of my children was I married and I sat down and said, okay Let's have a baby now and I'm not proud of it But it is what it is But let

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
me tell you something

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
each one of those children saved my life at some point in time They were all well needed and God knows what he's doing So don't think that

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
because you have a baby you haven't got married like it's over for me. I started wrong Could not be more happier than I am right now. And this is my third marriage my second time second time to my first husband, but The importance of I do meant that this time we started with God all my other relationships was started in pure foolishness This one was started and I told him when we came back to the table. This is who I am now I have found myself. I am no longer that girl You know that 19 year old you met at the bus stop and I don't go for the same things. We can't be doing the same foolishness. And guess what? The importance of I do has made our marriage has caused our marriage to survive. Understanding the importance of I do not going to the altar. Cause you, your marriage don't start that day.

Shannon:
Yeah, that's

Shun:
Your marriage

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
start when it

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
gets real

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
hard.

Shannon:
Ha ha ha.

Shun:
Your marriage starts when things get crazy and you want to look at each other and want to

Shannon:
Say

Shun:
go take somebody

Shannon:
it,

Shun:
head off.

Shannon:
say it Sean.

Shun:
That's when your marriage started don't start at the altar. I want to make that real clear So walking down the altar, please don't let us mislead you into saying that I do is going to solve my problems That's

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
actually when they start Because you know what marriage is the highest institution and the devil's going to fight that tooth and nail So we don't want you. I don't want to be misleading here and thinking you get married and that's going to make you have a great Life. Oh baby, that's when the fun begins and But this

Shannon:
Okay.

Shun:
time you have that three. Um, you know the threefold chord You have that thing that you didn't have when you out here hot and unlearned and bust the windows out your cars God ain't nowhere in that No, he wouldn't know why that's

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
why I kept going to jail because that

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
was my foolishness so

Shannon:
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun:
He was like you go bust the window and you I hope you got some money but Bringing bringing our things to the table letting my hubby know this time around this is who I am And if we ain't doing it under god, we're not doing it ever again as much as I loved him I knew from the day I laid eyes on that boy I didn't know I was gonna be his wife, but I knew he was gonna be around for a while. Then dealing with him, I always felt that this is my person.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
But you know what, Shannon? We didn't have no I do. We didn't have no God

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
in it the first time around,

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
and it did not survive.

Shannon:
Yeah, and in looking at, you know, my situation with my husband too, the importance of saying I do, even if there are no children involved, is giving up your individuality. You know, giving up your independence, I guess, kind of, so to

Shun:
Yeah,

Shannon:
speak.

Shun:
that's gonna be yeah,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
we're gonna talk about that a little later on

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
that same thing.

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
Yes

Shannon:
yeah. So that

Shun:
the individuality

Shannon:
is hard. Yeah.

Shun:
Yeah

Shannon:
And so I appreciate

Shun:
So

Shannon:
it when my husband did say, if the goal is in marriage, what are we doing? And a lot of young people need to take that same stance, is what I think. If I would have heard that when I was younger, I probably would have been flabbergastic. Like, what, what, what? And

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
at 20 years old, you don't wanna hear that, but when you're older, it's like, oh, that's a cool concept, that he's coming right out the gate with this. And that should be the focus. If your goal is not marriage, what are you doing? And

Shun:
Well, that's why we're here.

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
To save them from the things that we thought was cool.

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
We thought pulling up at 17 with your bitch on the front of your car was cool.

Shannon:
Exactly,

Shun:
Because we

Shannon:
exactly.

Shun:
were unlearned.

Shannon:
It

Shun:
So

Shannon:
unlearned.

Shun:
hopefully we can save, yeah, we can save some young women

Shannon:
Yep,

Shun:
from that.

Shannon:
yep. And

Shun:
That's not cool, the pants hanging off the behind. And again,

Shannon:
naive.

Shun:
I'm no judging, but your pants

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
hanging off your behind and gold chains, that ain't getting it for me right now at

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
almost 50.

Shannon:
yeah, and we were naive and and and to to look at a lot of the young folks today, though, I have to give them credit. There are so many young people that are doing it. They are doing well. They are about their education. They're about, you know, um, you know, learning STEM and learning code and, you know, uh, putting their education and their careers in focus versus. these young boys and things that we thought were fascinating at the time. And not that they don't find them fascinating. I'm sure they do. Maybe they're just not as distracted as we are. And

Shun:
As

Shannon:
I

Shun:
we

Shannon:
commend

Shun:
were,

Shannon:
them.

Shun:
right.

Shannon:
Yeah. I commend

Shun:
Apps,

Shannon:
them

Shun:
yep.

Shannon:
and

Shun:
Yep,

Shannon:
great.

Shun:
we wanna give those credit too.

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
You're right.

Shannon:
Give them credit. There are so

Shun:
So

Shannon:
many

Shun:
if

Shannon:
of

Shun:
you

Shannon:
us.

Shun:
are doing the I do, kudos to you. I mean, keep

Shannon:
Kudos.

Shun:
going. And you know what? The importance of that is Shannon, don't let anyone talk you off your path. If

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
that's who

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
you are, don't let people say, oh, you too young, we too young to be talking about marriage because they ain't too young. We ain't too young to be out here making babies.

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
If you out here having children, Moving in together. Nope,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
all of it comes hand in hand So if you are on that path, like shannon said great keep

Shannon:
Yes,

Shun:
on it and don't

Shannon:
stay

Shun:
ever let anyone

Shannon:
on your path.

Shun:
take you off of it

Shannon:
Exactly,

Shun:
That's right

Shannon:
don't fall for the pretty eyes.

Shun:
Don't,

Shannon:
Stay.

Shun:
no, hold on now, no.

Shannon:
Oh, I'm sorry, that's

Shun:
Hold

Shannon:
your

Shun:
on,

Shannon:
hubby.

Shun:
Shannon, get up, that's my husband, come on, honey. Hold up girl, nah. We ain't had no problems in 20 years, Shannon. No, don't go there with my man.

Shannon:
I know, I'm sorry,

Shun:
You're

Shannon:
I'm sorry.

Shun:
right. No, no,

Shannon:
You're

Shun:
no,

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
but you

Shannon:
you're

Shun:
are

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
right

Shannon:
Ha

Shun:
though.

Shannon:
ha

Shun:
No, but you're right

Shannon:
ha.

Shun:
though girlfriend It's just what I was saying is with the with the pants hanging off the behind like,

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
you know Whatever it is that

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
that's your thing and guess what? Maybe somebody with their pants hanging off is cool to you. But as long as they got Jesus You

Shannon:
Gadges.

Shun:
know get a merit and then you know influence from the pull their pants up put a belt on

Shannon:
Hallelujah.

Shun:
whatever is your thing? Whatever is your thing? That's your thing But make sure God is ahead of whatever you do and

Shannon:
You guys

Shun:
even while

Shannon:
better.

Shun:
you're dating Even while you're dating because guess what? He will keep it calm even in those days because the devil gonna come at you either way because sometimes we don't know that's our person Right. Sometimes

Shannon:
Right?

Shun:
we don't know but i'm gonna tell you who does know that devil and if it's the right thing He gonna start to fighting you So you're gonna need god from from the beginning when whatever you're doing and all things in life, but especially You know, especially when you're talking about relationships and making it permanent and being a long time thing Whether it's dating committed or marriage

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
The

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
port and you know keeping God first will will lead you to that that I do and that's what you're gonna need to survive this thing

Shannon:
Yeah. And understanding too. I want our young people to understand they get so caught up into the actual wedding ceremony and all the the the grandeur of you know, hey I'm putting on this big show and that day that one day is their focus. That is

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
their

Shun:
it.

Shannon:
only focus. And the marriage that comes after that is so much bigger. and it's so much work and people are like why you want to put in the work? Because as we all know even as a friend even if you have a friend you have to put in work with friends so

Shun:
That's right.

Shannon:
why wouldn't you put in work with your marriage? You know it's

Shun:
and

Shannon:
like

Shun:
I'm gonna

Shannon:
come

Shun:
tell

Shannon:
on.

Shun:
you, that's why I told you from McGinnish and I don't wanna sell that this is a fairytale and I do is the answer

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
to all your problems.

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
I do is the beginning of your

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
life together and that requires work.

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
So we gotta make that real clear, you know, I don't want anybody going up thinking, well, if you get married, that's the end of it. No, I said that and I will say it again.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
It really starts when those problems starts but that's what a marriage is though, it's work.

Shannon:
And it is work.

Shun:
And guess what? You get up every day right to go punch the clock because you need your money to live, right?

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
You should be willing to put in that same work for your marriage.

Shannon:
That's right. Yeah.

Shun:
Guess it's gone, it's gonna come a time. So that is what our topic is today. We want to just dialogue about that a little bit. I can't stress enough that I wish we would have started that way. I don't say we, Shannon, I'ma speak for myself. I

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
wish I would have started that way, but you know

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
what, I didn't. But I'm so thankful that God still came back and got me. He never left me. No, no, I came back to him. He never leaves you. I'm so thankful that I came back around. And this time I recognized that I needed God. So we

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
needed God to work and we're flowing on this thing. And again, we get up every day and we choose to make it work. So just like you choose to get up and wanna go bust the windows out and the day is the day I'm gonna beat the new girlfriend up, stop all that. Choose your

Shannon:
I love

Shun:
one

Shannon:
it.

Shun:
person, stop it. Choose your one person, ask God to come in, and then you put all that energy into that one place and I guarantee you it'll turn out better.

Shannon:
Exactly, most definitely it will. And if there's any, you know, one thing that you take from us on this particular topic, even if you don't have the I do, even if you don't have it, you can still have peace, you know, with...

Shun:
Absolutely.

Shannon:
that baby father, baby mother, you know, the situation, even if there is no triangle, say neither one of you ever find anybody else in life, you know, you can still have peace if you both have blended families, the way Sean and I do, you know, our husbands actually get along, you know, big

Shun:
Farewell.

Shannon:
things like this, yeah. things happen in life where you have to step up and say, okay, I'm gonna be the adult, even if I don't have the I do,

Shun:
That's right.

Shannon:
even though

Shun:
That's,

Shannon:
it's ideal.

Shun:
it's idea. And that's what it is. We're trying to bring a topic or a show to give you insight on how I do is so important. Not so much as important, it's so fundamental and making things flow peaceful. That's what I'm trying to say. But it's not always gonna be an I do. It's not always gonna be an I do. But we wanted to give that because we don't wanna give the illusion that it's okay to be a baby mama, just keep doing what you're doing.

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
You always want to bring people to the right path I mean you should want to if you if you're a christian if you love god and you want things to go Especially your family, especially young people. You don't have to be my family I really want these young people to get the concept of that's not cool being a baby

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
mama Is not an accomplishment and I learned that the hard way But

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
guess what? I if I can save someone else from going through it, then I I will

Shannon:
Yeah, and a lot of people tell me when they say, oh, when they hear about our podcast, they're like, oh, I don't like you being called baby mama. I'm like, but I was.

Shun:
That's reality. It's a reality

Shannon:
I was

Shun:
and

Shannon:
a

Shun:
guess

Shannon:
baby

Shun:
what?

Shannon:
mama. Go ahead.

Shun:
If you can't keep it real Shannon, no I was just saying if you can't keep it real what we talking about? Ain't nobody

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
bout to be doing

Shannon:
yeah,

Shun:
no fake stuff.

Shannon:
right, right. And I said, that's what I was. I was never married to the common denominator or to Buddy. So I was the baby mama. There's no shame there. I used to, oh gosh, I have to take you back. In my 20s, I used to have so much shame. If I dated someone, I would. It was just, you know, oh, should I tell them that I have a child out of wedlock? You know, that was a big stigma for me. A big thing. It is what it is.

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
I

Shun:
a fact

Shannon:
am

Shun:
and that's

Shannon:
his

Shun:
why you are

Shannon:
mother

Shun:
not different girl.

Shannon:
and I'm

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
proud

Shun:
it

Shannon:
to be his mother. This

Shun:
apps

Shannon:
is

Shun:
girl

Shannon:
my son, my everything, my my world, you know. So

Shun:
That's it

Shannon:
I hate

Shun:
so

Shannon:
that

Shun:
you be

Shannon:
I went

Shun:
proud

Shannon:
through that. Yeah, yeah, I hate that I went through

Shun:
We

Shannon:
that.

Shun:
hate how we got to it,

Shannon:
Shame.

Shun:
but we love our

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
kids.

Shannon:
of course. Mm-hmm, yeah, love my child.

Shun:
And see Shannon, that's why I love you girl. Cause you's like, I was the stigma. I was so concerned, the devil

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
baby.

Shannon:
yeah, the devil.

Shun:
I got two kids, I have three kids. Okay. I ain't gotta tell nobody I got four cause this is father and we're back together. And this is it for me, but

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
I had no problem. I got three. How you doing? Cause guess what? Three come with me. I needed them know off the top. It's me and three kids. What you doing? And if they can't handle that you give them that option going about your business I was never

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
ever stigmatized about mine because guess what Shannon we all come from somewhere

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
and I'm not shaming

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
where I came from and not that you were shamed But you know I get what you're saying because you're such you're such a sweet girl. You know, you're so

Shannon:
I think I was shamed though because of my upbringing. My family, we come from a strong, strong conservative Pentecostal

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
Dakota background. So me getting pregnant out of wedlock, that was a huge disgrace. It's like, oh my

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
gosh, hell and brimstones are falling down on this girl for... you know, getting pregnant in college of all things. So yeah, it was a big thing and it weighed on me for a while, you know, a lot of years, probably throughout all of my 20s. But then as I matured and I was immature already, you know,

Shun:
Alright.

Shannon:
growing up the way I grew up. So I wasn't, it took me a while, I guess is what I'm trying to say. It just took me a while to accept that, hey, you shouldn't have shame.

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
You're

Shun:
right.

Shannon:
a good mother, you're raising your child on your own, you're doing this, you know, whatever. So I am proud now, but I did go through that shame and stigma and I'm glad that you didn't, Shawn. And that just shows the difference between you and I. And I appreciate our yin and yang, you know, and how we,

Shun:
Yeah, girl, cuz I'm telling you my father

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
was a avid my father and grandmother his side. They were avid Christians I mean they had their my father had his faults. Don't get me wrong. He wasn't it wasn't perfect But he he was a Christian and I was scared. I wasn't ashamed I thought my father told us growing up if we got pregnant out of wet like he was gonna barbecue the baby and make us Eat it. I was so scared of that. I said Lord when I grew up I knew he was kidding but when I could you imagine that 15 or 16 like he gonna barbecue the baby My daddy was crazy I think that was just some fear he put into me But

Shannon:
All right,

Shun:
I

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
wasn't ashamed and and not that I'm proud of this but I wasn't ashamed because I'm from the hood There was some time from the hood though. I'm like really really really from the hood My mom was from the hood a baby girl. What? Okay so

Shannon:
Okay.

Shun:
Thank God. I didn't have to go through that. I was a little fearful of my father. I Think if you ain't I think if you're scared of your daddy and raise right anyways, but you know, that's all another topic But

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
I wasn't fearful. I'm like I'm having a baby. I mean I didn't even think I could have babies. That was a whole nother thing. So I think I was more excited than anything, but it's not cute. I didn't find

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
that out

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
two years later. It just wasn't cute. But

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
that's the reality, Shannon. That's how we grew up. And that's

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
what we're trying to do here to save some people. It's some girls in the hood that had mothers like mine that was like, go for it, whatever. I don't care what y'all doing. Don't come in my room bothering me. So I'm trying to instill here that. The importance of I do can help the people who don't even know about God or who don't even know the importance of marriage. It's just another thing. No, it's not. It's probably the most important thing you could do, especially if you're going to bring kids into this world.

Shannon:
Exactly. Yeah.

Shun:
So yeah, we do have our yin and yang, you know, we balance

Shannon:
We need to get out.

Shun:
out and that's why God brought us together. And we've got along from the beginning because this idea has been stewing since we met and who knew?

Shannon:
Who knew? Who knew?

Shun:
Who knew?

Shannon:
Bug

Shun:
All

Shannon:
God!

Shun:
right, so if you, but God. All right, Shannon, so I think I'm gonna go into our red line for today.

Shannon:
Alright, time for the red lines!

Shun:
Hey, so the redline topic of today is realizing I do now means we do and Keeping the rhythm of our topic, you know, once you're married, it's important to remember that that's your last I That light that

Shannon:
No, no, no.

Shun:
I you speak at the altar is your last I That don't mean we shouldn't have our own individuality, you know, we shouldn't give up We should give up it totally who we are, you know, but you leave that I language, leave that at the altar because once you do come together, it's that threefold court, every decision, every big decision should be made, you know, as a team.

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
Uh, Shannon, I think you were getting off into it

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
every week. You'd be trying to sneak off in my red lines, but you don't know it though. Cause my

Shannon:
No!

Shun:
red lines would be a secret y'all, but she almost got off in there talking about. Her husband with the individuality thing. So I kind of cut off you I cut you off for a reason shit I'm like she gonna get my red line. But now I want you to share that story cuz I heard you

Shannon:
I

Shun:
coming

Shannon:
know. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Shun:
Share

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
that

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
story

Shannon:
Yes. Yes.

Shun:
about how was it like to give up your individual individuality?

Shannon:
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh yeah. It was difficult for me, you know, cause I got married, you know, later, later in life. And my husband would always say, if the goal is a marriage, you know, what are we doing? And then he would do things for me that I wasn't used to. For example, since I've known him, I haven't had to put gas in my car. And he will say, you know, I'm going to put gas in your car, I'm going to wash your car, things like that that are uncommon. I'm like, what? I can do these

Shun:
Hahaha

Shannon:
things on my own. And he's like, no, you don't. I've got this. And some people might say, oh, so what? You know, that's no big deal. But it was a big deal for me because as a very, very independent female who has always made my way, you know, single mom raising my son, making my own way in life, having someone come in to say, hey, I want to do all these things for you. We're a we now. It's a we. It's not a I thing anymore. It was difficult for me to recognize that, hey, it's a we thing. I have to let him.

Shun:
Be the

Shannon:
Let

Shun:
man.

Shannon:
him be the man and take care of me if he that's what he wants to do and for me to say Hey, I got to take a step back and not be so hard

Shun:
I'm sorry.

Shannon:
Even though a lot of people don't think of me as hard He can tell you a different story because he sees you know someone that had had to be strong So not necessarily hardness doesn't necessarily mean Tough or mean it just means I I've got this

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
so

Shun:
Well, you know, it's exactly the opposite for me. It was my hubby who had the problem with the giving up that I do. And that's just because he was so like you, he was just so used. He lived his life on the defense and he even said that to me once. And I'm like, wow, just that line made me understand him more. He said, Sean, I live life on the defense. I've had, I put myself in some situations. I've given people chances to hurt me or, you know, to betray me. And I won't do that again. So it was really hard for him to come into the we do but you know what he did it and it like you said It's work. It takes work every day. So realizing that I do means we do will keep a lot of friction and peace in your marriage and That's my redline topic for the day

Shannon:
That's wonderful. And we want to remind everyone to please submit your red lines if you're in a wifey baby mama situation or blended family situation or even if it has nothing to do with any of that. It's just something that you feel like you need to get off your chest. Please submit your red lines

Shun:
Something

Shannon:
to

Shun:
that's a no-no

Shannon:
wifey

Shun:
in the relationship.

Shannon:
and. Yeah, no no in the relationship. There you go. Please submit them to wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com.

Shun:
Hehehehe

Shannon:
Once again, that is wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com for your chance to win a $100 gift card. Each month on the third Thursday of each month, we will select one of the red lines that have been on our podcast. And if yours is the submission that we choose to read, you will win $100. So please submit them.

Shun:
Yes.

Shannon:
Once again, wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. We look forward to reading your red lines on our podcast. Alright, so next is the segment we like to call the fictional family I'm feeling. The fictional family I'm feeling. Alright, so the fictional family I'm feeling this week, they're fictional slash non-fictional because they're based off of Chris Rock's family, The Rocks. and they are from Everyone Hates Chris or Everybody Hates Chris I'm sorry Everybody Hates Chris starring Terry Crews, T'China Arnold and the episode that is on my mind today is when Rochelle T'China Arnold plays Rochelle, Terry Crews is Julia's her husband so Rochelle and Julius. Julius if anyone if those of you who have not watched this franchise He's very very cheap very very cheap guy. He nickels and dimes everything

Shun:
Hehehehe. Hehehehe. Hehehehe.

Shannon:
So Rochelle finds a credit card or I'm sorry She gets a credit card in the mail or a renewed credit card and she's surprised because Julius been so cheap they never had credit and so she's concerned about him having this credit card that she didn't know about and she goes to her friends of course in the beauty salon and they tell her oh i knew a guy that lied about his own height they're like lied about

Shun:
Okay.

Shannon:
his height yeah he had lips in his shoes oh okay oh found out he had a whole other family so here's Rochelle thinking julia's got a whole other family and then she pictures this whole family speaking spanish hola papi And so she confronts Julius and she says, you know, what's up with this credit card? You know, what is it? You've been a member since 1970 and this episode they're filming based on 1985. So she said, in 15 years, you've had this credit card. He says, well, I got it. It took me seven years to pay off the initial purchase. And every time I wanted to cancel, they kept increasing the credit limit so I couldn't cancel. She said, so what is it that you had to buy and keep secret from me that I find out 15 years later? And he says, of course, her wedding ring. We knew it was coming, but

Shun:
Awwww.

Shannon:
it was still touching.

Shun:
Idiot.

Shannon:
He says, your wedding ring. For him to say I do, he had to break protocol from something that he did not believe in. He didn't believe in credit. He did not believe in spending extra money, and it took him seven years to pay off something for the woman that he loved. So the importance of saying I do, and how it ties to the family dynamic, and how people relate is what I took from the fictional family that I'm feeling this week.

Shun:
That is awesome. But you know, that is touching. But you know what I got out of that? How her friends were quick to go to, he got another family and turn

Shannon:
Ooh,

Shun:
her the other way. You know?

Shannon:
yes, yes.

Shun:
Now see, that's what I took from that because you know what?

Shannon:
Watch

Shun:
My

Shannon:
your friends.

Shun:
hubby and I go through, there you go. Watch the people you have around, watch your circle. Cause when I tell you my husband and I have had a battle this last time around and you know what has saved us? Our saved friends. The people that love us that love God who told me stick with it. I know it's a lot. And it girl, you got a baby with her, but you know he a lot, but stick with it. And you're

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
having the right circle. It ain't just important to have the right man. Having the right circle is important as well.

Shannon:
Exactly. Awesome. All right. So that takes us to the end of our episode today. And we want to thank you for joining us. Each and every week, we appreciate your loyalty. And for those of you that have submitted your red lines, we look forward to reading those who win on the air. And we also want to We want to tell everyone this week that we do have Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages that we want to promote. So if you want, please like, share, and subscribe to our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. And look for us on the various podcast platforms. We're everywhere. We're on YouTube.

Shun:
We're

Shannon:
We're

Shun:
everywhere,

Shannon:
on...

Shun:
we're getting out there.

Shannon:
We're getting out there. Yes, so please look for

Shun:
getting

Shannon:
us.

Shun:
out there.

Shannon:
From our transistor page, you can also see all the different sites we're posting on. So we thank you all for joining us and we look forward to next week. And we welcome you back into our lives. Sean and Shannon, we love you all.

Shun:
Love you. Bye.