Papa Was A Rolling Stone
Download MP3Shun:
Hi, I'm Sean.
Shannon:
and I'm Shannon.
Shun:
and we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. We want to thank you all for joining us again for this week's episode titled, Papa Was a Rolling Stone. I know we spoiled you guys with the guests the last two weeks, but
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
tonight, Shannon and I are solo. Fortunately, we don't know any Rolling Stone Papas
Shannon:
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Shun:
well enough to ask them to come on. I mean, I know there are a few out there, but everyone
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
close to us, thankfully, as far as we know are doing what they're
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Shun:
supposed to be doing. Mean I guess I could have asked one of my daughter's father's but I don't think that would be messy. No, I'm just kidding but seriously
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Shun:
We didn't have anyone to bring on and like I said, that's actually a good thing. So tonight You know, we're gonna let the sense of human be back in control, but it's all love, you know
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
We're actually just
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
okay with having the guests not having a guest for this episode And I mean
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
that makes
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
that makes us proud that everyone we know is living right
Shannon:
or we're not
Shun:
but
Shannon:
gonna rat
Shun:
um
Shannon:
you out.
Shun:
That's right. But by all means, you know, we know it's a lifestyle nonetheless. So we thought it was necessary to discuss this topic as we do most of our topics. Anything we can do, you know, to help to shed some light on things. As we did our episode of what happened to the grandmothers on last week, we discussed how time has changed and the roles of grandmothers have too. And Shannon and I always look at both sides of our topic. So hence today's episode. uh... will touch on how the roles of the heads of the families differ these days so much in the days of old uh... title kind of reflects how many families operated back in the day whether some of us want to admit it or not papa which can be the data grandfathers work report what the providers and for the most part the wife stayed home you know they kept the house now so many have you know not some have worked jobs some of the whites or The bulk
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
of the finances, you know, back in the day were held down by the men. Back
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
when we were growing up, you know. And more often
Shannon:
Yep.
Shun:
than not, that meant they made the rules as well. Which
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
often didn't apply to them. I mean, I know plenty of grand dads that had women lined up. And I,
Shannon:
You
Shun:
you know, I often thought, now, where the other women husbands at? Shannon, remember that song, Who's Making Love to Your Old Lady While You Out Making Love? Now, that's too
Shannon:
Uh
Shun:
old for some of y'all
Shannon:
huh.
Shun:
young people, but go look it up. those are my
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
aunties and mama's song back in the day but y'all go look it up
Shannon:
Yup. Right.
Shun:
honey
Shannon:
Yup.
Shun:
these young people are having a hard time getting it together because of those kind of things not only
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
did the times change so did the music you
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
know these
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
people don't sing about anything these days but sex, lies, money and drugs I mean think about it and what does the world
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
idolize
Shannon:
All
Shun:
now
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
what do the world idolize now right mostly
Shannon:
exactly
Shun:
sinful
Shannon:
what you
Shun:
things
Shannon:
said.
Shun:
you know exactly
Shannon:
Yeah, yeah,
Shun:
and
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
our grandmothers and mothers music You know, it had staying power. And that's
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
why
Shannon:
it
Shun:
marriages
Shannon:
did.
Shun:
and families
Shannon:
It did.
Shun:
outlast at bad times. Now, I can say it was some stuff going on that not even music could have made me understand. Because you
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
wasn't about to
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
beat me or my children. And honey,
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
you gonna cheat on me, but you
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
ain't gonna do it in my face.
Shannon:
yeah. But just like I mentioned last week about how my grandmothers were polar opposites, my grandfathers were too. So,
Shun:
Okay.
Shannon:
you know, I had that rolling stone.
Shun:
Yeah,
Shannon:
One and
Shun:
I did too,
Shannon:
and.
Shun:
but it was like Tonya on last week. Both of mine were rolling stones on both sides, but go ahead.
Shannon:
Oh,
Shun:
Yeah, I had both of them rolling stones, honey. Both of my grandfathers.
Shannon:
yeah, yeah. And it was, you know, like you said, in those times it was accepted.
Shun:
Yes.
Shannon:
No one did anything. It wasn't even talked about. It wasn't nothing to gossip about, you know.
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
It
Shun:
It was like
Shannon:
was
Shun:
almost
Shannon:
common.
Shun:
a norm.
Shannon:
Yes,
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
yes. And I'm glad, I'm so glad and thankful we've gotten away from that. you know, way
Shun:
a little
Shannon:
of thinking. Well, yeah.
Shun:
bit. As it being the norm, you're right.
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
Because
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
like,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
yeah, like I said, it ain't an, I mean, like I said, music was good. It has stampile, but it ain't enough music, like I said, to allow you to be cheating on me in my face,
Shannon:
Yes,
Shun:
you know.
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
Now, now don't get me wrong. I know any good thing is going to come with some challenges. That's just with any relationship worth having. But I guess like with anything else too, God knew which women were built for that era, honey. Cause count me out. Okay? On the old school list. I'm
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
gonna get back with
Shannon:
me
Shun:
you and that's
Shannon:
too.
Shun:
a fact Jack. So thank you Lord for saving
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
me for this area and keeping me
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
What I said keeping me for such a time as this because I wouldn't have lasted
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
you know but like you said
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
it was like almost
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
acceptable for men to step out as long as they fit the family right i mean
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
my own grandfather
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
would go out get drunk is all get out come home when he felt like it you know if he came out but they came home at all request a request a hot meal and i watched my grandmother do exactly this whole without a change in work answer the devil
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
and this day and age you
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
know i couldn't sustain and
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
i had a friend who constantly ran around on her, right? So she asked him one day why he cheated on her so much. She was well educated, beautiful, successful. She cooked, kept it clean, beautiful house. She
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
just wanted to know why, and his response was, I watched my grandfather and father cheat. So I thought that's what men do. Girl, I was speechless. Like, he had to actually go to counseling because it was embedded in him. It's like what we talked
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
about last week, it was a learned behavior.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
Not that it was right, but it was a learned behavior.
Shannon:
Right, right.
Shun:
And thank
Shannon:
It
Shun:
God
Shannon:
just
Shun:
they worked
Shannon:
becomes
Shun:
through it. They're
Shannon:
normal.
Shun:
happy. Yeah, their marriage is healthy. But until she addressed that,
Shannon:
Oh,
Shun:
it was just an issue
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
for
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
years on end, you know? But I mean, when you think about
Shannon:
But he...
Shun:
it though, go ahead.
Shannon:
Yeah, I was gonna say back to, you know, women not doing anything. Now that I think back, my father had a best friend. And when they were in their 20s, his best friend was cheating on his... I don't know if it was wife or girlfriend at the time. And she actually killed him.
Shun:
Oh,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
I've heard that story a few times
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
and
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
you know what?
Shannon:
And
Shun:
I've
Shannon:
then,
Shun:
seen people get away with it, too They
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
call
Shannon:
And
Shun:
it
Shannon:
people
Shun:
crimes
Shannon:
get away
Shun:
of passion
Shannon:
with it.
Shun:
Mm-hmm
Shannon:
Yeah. And then even look at, you know, your famous story of Al Green with the grits, you know? So
Shun:
Lorraine, Lorraine
Shannon:
there
Shun:
about
Shannon:
were,
Shun:
it.
Shannon:
yeah. She was a lot later, but yes.
Shun:
But yeah, but
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
still
Shannon:
Now
Shun:
I
Shannon:
she
Shun:
mean
Shannon:
was the most gangster. The
Shun:
She
Shannon:
most
Shun:
was
Shannon:
gangster.
Shun:
out. Yeah, she was she wasn't built for this era. She was
Shannon:
No.
Shun:
in the wrong era So she dealt with it in her way. She wasn't built
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
for that
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
era. Yeah, she was in the wrong era She wasn't going
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
for it
Shannon:
no.
Shun:
But I mean
Shannon:
But
Shun:
but go ahead
Shannon:
no, I was just saying, yeah, there are some exceptions, like we say every, every week, there are always going to be some exceptions,
Shun:
Yes,
Shannon:
even,
Shun:
but
Shannon:
even to the old school.
Shun:
even to the old school,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that's why the grits was getting thrown. But it's a thin line between love and hate. You remember that song?
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
Like those were, that's when music
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
was music. And if you
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
listen to it, I'm saying, like I said, don't make it right. It doesn't make it right.
Shannon:
Doesn't
Shun:
But
Shannon:
make
Shun:
if you
Shannon:
it right.
Shun:
listen to it, you understand, you know, it's a thin line. But
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
just like I said, a little bit earlier, that behavior mostly was taught, right? So
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
just the same as good behavior. it's tough but what we can't change the time right affects the way things used to be fellows we need to be better at being father and just meant that you know fathers and just men altogether the excuse of you know that's what i was taught that's how it was raised is not going to save our children are keep our families together and
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
if i'm may say the biggest of desi to me is wanting to use the old days as an excuse to fall short
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
You're not even holding it down like the Rolling Stones poppers,
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
okay? At least they were paying the bills, you know what I'm saying, and keeping the house, keeping food on the table. They don't wanna work, watch the kids, girl, take them to school, nothing.
Shannon:
Nope,
Shun:
But then
Shannon:
nothing.
Shun:
howling about respect and loyalty. I'm gonna need y'all to take several seats on that. You can't have it both ways. You know?
Shannon:
No, you cannot. Not at all.
Shun:
and even if you are doing all those things i mentioned janet respect still goes both ways i don't care what you're paying for how many shoes a person you by me how many grosses you back i still need the same respect that i get to you
Shannon:
Right, right.
Shun:
You know?
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
So I'm not gonna play with it. I'm not gonna dance around it. That's just the way it has to be.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
and when i said on both sides of my family's father being rolling stones i'd still watched my father be a good father even though his new his father wasn't a
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
good husband his wife which is that my father's mom
Shannon:
And...
Shun:
i mean being a little girl i can't tell you if and there was a rolling stone i think i do remember a few girlfriends that used to be neighbors that my mom is like and some but they're right me as a little girl you know you wasn't in the business like
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
girl like these kids
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
these
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
days. Children are too involved in adult business these days. Back then
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
it would sit down and be quiet go in the other room go outside and play. It wasn't you wasn't allowed to sit up and know the business and engage in conversations. I think it's way too much of that going on these days.
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
But
Shannon:
oh yeah.
Shun:
I'm not going to sit here and paint my father is perfect. But when it came to providing no question my grandfather would get paid. use all his money up getting drunk and then my grandmother would go work two three jobs to keep to keep the food on the table but she still fixed those meals she still
Shannon:
Wow.
Shun:
allowed him to beat her down and I remember one Sunday her
Shannon:
Hmm.
Shun:
wanting to go to church and he literally just walked in the house and we were at my grandmother's house like I said my mother used to drop us off often volunteer or involuntary she was bringing us and we were getting ready for church and he walked in to go drunk as I don't know what and he said you can't go to church I'm hungry and she said i gotta go to church my grandmother's on like the usher board my grandmother was like in the quiet my grounded everything at the church you know the old-school grandmothers were they were
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
very
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
involved
Shannon:
oh yeah,
Shun:
in the church you know
Shannon:
very.
Shun:
and she said yeah it's my sunday to do this that the third i don't remember exactly and he says will not today and she said i'm going to she went to walk past him he smacked her so hard that i saw blood come from her lip and i was in shock like all my dad She cleaned her lip up, went in and took off her church clothes, told us we was not going to church and went in and fixed him something to eat. Baby I ain't built like that.
Shannon:
Oh my goodness, no, no.
Shun:
I'm
Shannon:
I'm
Shun:
not
Shannon:
not
Shun:
built
Shannon:
built like that.
Shun:
like that.
Shannon:
Nah, not at all, not
Shun:
You know
Shannon:
at
Shun:
what
Shannon:
all.
Shun:
I'm saying? So again, I didn't tell that story just to out my grandfather. I love my grandfather.
Shannon:
Right, right.
Shun:
That's, you know,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that's who he was. I said it to say did not stop my father from becoming the man that he was to me and his children and all the other children that my mom had that were not even his. He literally took care of all of us, you know, because that's just kind of man he was. that's what kind of man my brother is so my father didn't learn his father's behavior as far as beating women my father was so subtle and so cut i can't even
Shannon:
how.
Shun:
remember him raising his voice maybe twice i think
Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Shun:
and that's probably in at me
Shannon:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Shun:
but for the most part that i was so bad but for the most part you know he was just a real quiet he was a general giant you know
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
and on
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
the opposite side my mother's father he died when i was really young so i don't but i do remember him being a very bad alcoholic and i do remember him stand out the liquor houses and gambling houses my grandmother going behind him in you know going to get it i mean i just watched all that yet my
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
uncle his son grew up to be a creature he grew up to be a man a man of the cloth
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
so we don't always have to adapt these bad behavior but more
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
often than not
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
though shannon it is it is it is mimicked
Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Shun:
that's why so important men to not be Rolling Stones. That's why
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
it's so important to teach your sons what you need to be,
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
what you would want them to be. You know, because
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
what was the saying? My mom used to tell us, do as I say, not as I do.
Shannon:
not
Shun:
You
Shannon:
as
Shun:
ever
Shannon:
I
Shun:
heard
Shannon:
do.
Shun:
that? But
Shannon:
Oh yeah.
Shun:
how often is that reversed? Kids are,
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
for the most part, gonna do what they see.
Shannon:
They're going to do what they see. And
Shun:
They're
Shannon:
then
Shun:
gonna
Shannon:
also
Shun:
do what they
Shannon:
too,
Shun:
see.
Shannon:
right. And then also fathers and mothers, you know, we have to stop high-fiving the boys for, you know, being with as many chicks as he can get with, you know, and then looking down on the girls if she's trying to get with every dude she can get with. Nobody should be trying to get with as many people as they can get with.
Shun:
Absolutely,
Shannon:
Stop it all.
Shun:
that's right,
Shannon:
Both sides.
Shun:
that's right.
Shannon:
Nobody gets a high five. Nobody gets a put down,
Shun:
I'm being a
Shannon:
you
Shun:
rolling
Shannon:
know, just
Shun:
stone
Shannon:
stop.
Shun:
Uh-huh
Shannon:
Right. Yes.
Shun:
or star streetwalker as they called them back in the day, but I We I will say if you're done are you done on that point, I'm
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
sorry. I
Shannon:
oh
Shun:
want
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
to cut
Shannon:
uh
Shun:
you up
Shannon:
huh.
Shun:
And in my wrap-up we're gonna go into actually we have a really good red line tonight and it's like a few parts to it So I'm gonna wrap up a little early tonight so we can get to it because I want to have time to dig into that Is that okay?
Shannon:
Oh yes, on to the red
Shun:
No, no, I'm
Shannon:
line.
Shun:
gonna I'm gonna wrap this up and then we're gonna hit the go ahead the red line But I don't want everybody be like wait, that's the end of it No, I we did I want that dialogue
Shannon:
Alright,
Shun:
to be
Shannon:
wrap it
Shun:
a little
Shannon:
up.
Shun:
shorter today on purpose guys So we can get to this red like this is a good one And like I said as with any topic, you know if time as time goes on time changes But I'll wrap
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
up, you know with this we are women and we don't know what it feels like to be a man We don't know what it feels like to carry the weight of them But I do know how it feels to be treated good and bad by a man. You know, I also know that a rolling stone meant mentality while accepted back in the day, you know, it's not conducive to produce and loving respectable families today, which is what we're aiming to do here in the podcast. You know, try to build healthier families. If
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
your wife or children don't express it, how your treatment is making her feel. Your wife will eventually resent you and maybe so will your kids. But. Even worse than the resentment is your son growing up to repeat your actions or your daughter growing up to accept it from another man So I implore you today guys Break the cycle And
Shannon:
Perfect.
Shun:
now I'm going to move into my red line.
Shannon:
on to the red lines.
Shun:
This week's red line topic is from our July WBM red line winner of the month. Her name is Trisha J. I'm going to call her names, you know,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
out in the name.
Shannon:
All
Shun:
But
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
this
Shannon:
OK.
Shun:
submission comes in from Trisha J. And Trisha writes, my husband and his baby mama are too friendly. And she stressed the two. Always talking about, and I quote, remember when type of shit, end quote. She goes on to ask. Is this appropriate? Should I be concerned? Should I say something to him or her? Okay now trisha is clearly
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
over it. So let's start with that And
Shannon:
Ha ha ha.
Shun:
Depending on the content I can see how she arrived at her frustration. So Tonight, like I said, we're going to do things a little different Which is why we dialogue just a little shorter tonight instead of just rattling off my response I'm going to um address each of her questions separately So I don't miss anything because while we like to make the episodes light, you know, have a little fun. Our main priority is helping and healing, especially on these red line submissions. When I ask you to send them in so we can tell your business, we're asking you to send
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
them in to give you advice to hopefully make it better and end things as peacefully as possible. Resolve things, I should say, as quickly
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
as possible and as easily. So, so you know that our families can stay together and everyone can coexist in peace. That's our goal here. And
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
we as adults
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
need to keep in mind, arriving at peace isn't necessarily important for us sometimes. I mean, I can do with or without people at a certain age. I ask for me, girl, as long as me, my husband, the kids are good. Anybody
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
else want to act a fool?
Shannon:
oh yeah,
Shun:
I have no problem letting them act a fool. Okay,
Shannon:
you got
Shun:
y'all don't
Shannon:
that
Shun:
exist
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
in me anymore. That's just the age I'm at. But it's imperative though, when you have a blend of children, you know, and parents or step parents, to try to keep things peaceful, you know, on that part. So. As long as everyone is willing to do their work. I think you can all work out So with that Shannon, you know I'm gonna read a couple of points and you can jump in if you feel like it we can use a little yin and yang here You know
Shannon:
All right.
Shun:
So her first question was is this appropriate? To that I say it depends on the content for example My ex-husband and I worked along beside each other in a prison for almost eight years, right? and we had an interesting workday most of the time and interesting staff too so you know made for some crazy stuff going on and i remember he called me during the black lives uh... matters right and it was like you remember that night when we almost you know the thing the prison almost jumped off and we didn't know if we will make it out alive he said watching all this stuff on tv makes me realize how blessed we are today i said you know you're right he said you guys good i said i'm good house jimmy jimmy's best out junior wifey said we're doing fine or he may randomly call me back you member such as such
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
that worked in intake with this they passed today and i didn't know you probably
Shannon:
Hmm.
Shun:
didn't know that and i'm like you know i'm sorry to hear that you know and jim was like what was that now say was my ex-husband and such things on i'm sorry to hear that because that's the kind of relationship we all have you know just like you shannon i would love to have your husband that's the kind of relationship
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
we had
Shannon:
right. Yep.
Shun:
i gave those two totally opposite examples because if you're married to someone and we share child even if you're not made a shared top i'm sure is things you're gonna remember when right
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
you don't have a
Shannon:
yep,
Shun:
member when times i've expressed
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
that on numerous shows it's okay to keep
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
up healthy respectful
Shannon:
mm-hmm,
Shun:
tied to your the child's parent you should but respect
Shannon:
mm-hmm.
Shun:
is the key word in that soul
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
and my opinion it depends on what we're remembering how often you remember it
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
don't call me everyday with a remember when moment
Shannon:
mm-hmm. Yeah,
Shun:
and what do you say that she and
Shannon:
yeah. And it's, yeah, I agree. It's not, I remember when we, you know, we're on our honeymoon in Jamaica and whatever, you know,
Shun:
Exactly.
Shannon:
I remember, yeah, I don't wanna hear none
Shun:
Oh
Shannon:
of that. Ha ha.
Shun:
My my ex-husband calls and says, you know every time I look at our daughter I remember the night she was conceived. Do you think my husband gonna be okay with that call? You know
Shannon:
No.
Shun:
what I'm saying gonna go
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
a whole different
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
way, right? But again, I think it depends on the content
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
So you're right. You're exactly right Okay. So the second question was should I be concerned? That depends on the trust you have in your marriage i speak from experience when i say men are slow to pick up on women's and their antics sometimes we all know that as women we know we slay can as men you should know if you got their play player you should know the antics of a woman or even if you're not a player and common sense should tell you if this is appropriate conversation and i if i'm a mere man you know what i'm saying
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
as sometimes
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
men know exactly what's going on and they may not have any feelings for the x but the mantra on them still wants to know she still wants me
Shannon:
Yeah, yep, yep.
Shun:
but that and then they have no films in return and that can be dangerous though because even if he has no bills and he knows he won't act on it heart behavior still needs to be checked if it's
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
inappropriate you know
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
and strife
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
gives the devil eight but hold into your marriage and that can
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
lead to many other problems and then we need as you have to be sexual so again it depends on the contents of the remember when you should be concerned and i think that's something that you got to personally deal with, because we can give 1,000 scenarios here, right Shannon?
Shannon:
Right
Shun:
But.
Shannon:
and too if she's addressed it with him and he's still doing it you
Shun:
Right,
Shannon:
know.
Shun:
which is the next question. So her third question Shannon was should I say something about it and I say
Shannon:
Oh, so
Shun:
to
Shannon:
she
Shun:
that
Shannon:
hasn't said anything.
Shun:
Yep Absolutely,
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
you should you should bring it to his attention but do it with love And this is your basis to actually two things right? This is actually a base to your first two questions as well. If his response is sweetheart, you know, baby Trish whatever he calls you You ain't got to worry about that it that's nothing to worry about but if it bothers you i'll tone it down or speak to her you know whatever then you have to let him handle it as a man that i think that's the first step if he's angry or defensive then it might be a cause for some concern and not necessarily like i said sexual sometimes it could just be a bunch of things but whatever it is you gotta find an online and that underlying the cause and let me give you an example for me My hubby and I when we were getting back together the second time we were dating he was seeing a couple of three four side chicks Because you know how girl you know how baby daddy roll
Shannon:
Mm. Ha
Shun:
back
Shannon:
ha ha.
Shun:
in the day So once we got together and decided we were getting married now we're done this one Ex-duck of his would not go away I mean she called him about in and everything from a fly on her wall to this light bulb blinked out You should have started was crazy.
Shannon:
Hmm.
Shun:
I'm like look dude. I Understand you know you wanting to feel You want to feel like helpful and he had my husband has a problem with detachment and hurting people's feelings, right? I just don't want
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
to you know, they took they to help me out I just don't want to be that kind of person I said I get
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
it and
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
but women are gonna feed on that because
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
they know your spirit now I'm asking you as your wife to deal with it because I'm telling you she got something else going on This went on it got so bad and Trish. This is what I'm trying to get to That's why you need to say something as soon as possible. So I said tell you what If you feel so bad that she can't call you and that just hurts your feelings that you can't be her friend, go be her friend. I'm going to find me another husband." He got her off his phone so quick. It had to get to that point because we had that conversation, Shannon, about 20 to 30 times.
Shannon:
Right. Mm-hmm.
Shun:
You understand what
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
I'm saying?
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
At
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
this point, okay, either she's slow or you slow,
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
but either way, I can't stay right here. I can't be in it. And when I put it to him that way, because sometimes you got to put it to him that way, situation resolved immediately. but guess
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
what and all that story guess what that was shannon he said that he knew that was bothering me he still had forgiven me for something i did in our previous relationship and he was
Shannon:
AHHHHH
Shun:
allowing that to go on to hurt me because he saw how bad it was bothering
Shannon:
Oh,
Shun:
me
Shannon:
mm-hmm.
Shun:
so it was nothing sexual in that case you get
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
what i'm saying so sometimes
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
is not what we think so i said all that to say this find out what the root cause is
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
if she on some other stuff and if he's too nice to
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
tell her or maybe they just don't realize they're being too friendly. It could be as simple as that.
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
So absolutely you should say something sweetheart before it gets too
Shannon:
Yep.
Shun:
far.
Shannon:
Yeah, don't let it fester.
Shun:
Nope.
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
And you got anything else to add to it, Shannon?
Shannon:
No, that
Shun:
Well
Shannon:
was
Shun:
there
Shannon:
excellent.
Shun:
you go. That's Trisha's red line submission. Thank you Trisha. And Shannon,
Shannon:
All
Shun:
what
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
does she win?
Shannon:
yes. Oh yeah, Trisha, we, oh yeah, I'm gonna keep your money. No,
Shun:
Yeah!
Shannon:
Trisha, you are the winner of the $100 gift card.
Shun:
Yes!
Shannon:
It is heading your way. Congratulations. Thank you so much for submitting your red line.
Shun:
Thank you,
Shannon:
And
Shun:
Tricia.
Shannon:
yes, we look forward to. additional submissions. So please if you would like to win a $100 gift card please submit your red line to wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com and if your submission is chosen on the third Thursday of the month you will win a $100 gift card. The third Thursday of the month is when we will announce and read the red line winner. So please submit wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. Thank you so much. All right, yes, thanks, Tricia. On to our final segment, the segment we like to call the fictional family I'm feeling. So the fictional family I'm feeling tonight is the Johnson family. And the Johnson family I'm talking about is Seeley and Mr. from the color purple. And the particular scene that gets me is the scene where Mr. and Mrs. Shug is visiting. She's upstairs in the bed in this in the morning and Mr. decides he's going to cook her breakfast and meanwhile he's married to Celie for those of you who have not seen the color purple.
Shun:
You will
Shannon:
So,
Shun:
lose your black card if you haven't, but go ahead. I'm snatching
Shannon:
oh yeah,
Shun:
them
Shannon:
well.
Shun:
all month of July. I'm sorry.
Shannon:
Yeah, Ray and I still gotta get out of here, but anyway, but at least seen the color purple.
Shun:
haha
Shannon:
So you got the mistress upstairs, you have Celie, the wife downstairs, and mister in the kitchen. And Celie's eyes are big like saucers, looking at this man who never lifts a finger in the house to do a thing. So it's his first time in a kitchen in his life. And he's so excited. He's just full of excitement, because he's cooking for this woman that he just worships the ground she walks on. Oh, he's just like running around, making a mess, doesn't know how to turn the stove on, cuts himself, burns himself, can't get the fire hot in the oven. Seeley goes and pulls a chair, a rocking chair up, and sits down like with her hands. on her, you know, under her chin like, oh, I'm going to watch this. And like I could imagine if she only has some popcorn, you know,
Shun:
right?
Shannon:
she. Yeah, she's like, whoa, look at what he got going on. And so he's doing all of this and he can't get the fire hot. And he's just yelling at her and she's just looking at him like, what? And he's like, oh, I can figure out how to get it hot. And so he walks out of the kitchen and comes back in with his big old thing of gasoline. Next thing you see is the rocking chair is empty because she's taking off running. She is gone and then you hear a big boom and explosion. And then the next thing you see this burnt up smoking hot plate of food that he's
Shun:
Still
Shannon:
taken
Shun:
on fire.
Shannon:
up still on fire. Taken up to his mistress. And of course, Shug takes the tray and throws it at his head and uh you know cusses him out or whatever she doesn't want it and therefore he gets what he deserves because he shouldn't have been first of all should have had his mistress upstairs in the house um and he shouldn't have been doing what he knew he shouldn't be doing which is
Shun:
for
Shannon:
of
Shun:
a
Shannon:
course
Shun:
woman in heaven cook for his kids.
Shannon:
right
Shun:
You never cook
Shannon:
exactly
Shun:
for your own children.
Shannon:
never cook for your own children so there you go That is the fictional family that I am feeling.
Shun:
perfect fictional family for the Papa was a rolling stone. Because you see the date and age of the color purple, that was
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
a great one because
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
we're not doing that these days. So good job. It fit the
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
Papa Rolling Stone
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
era.
Shannon:
That's right, right. Roll on. All right. We want to thank you all for joining us tonight and we look forward to next week, 7.30, every Thursday. Sean and I are so grateful that you take the time to listen to us each week and you can find us. Wherever you get your podcasts, feel free to reach out. If you have a topic you would like for us to touch on, reach out at wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com. All right,
Shun:
Till
Shannon:
until
Shun:
next week,
Shannon:
next week.
Shun:
love
Shannon:
OK.
Shun:
you all, bye.
