Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun:
Hey, I'm Shawn.

Shannon:
and I'm Shannon.

Shun:
and we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Welcome to Thursday Family. I told

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
y'all this has been deemed our favorite day of the week because we get to connect with our peeps and we love it

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
here.

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
So,

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
hey

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
y'all. So I've announced on Facebook, Instagram, by word of mouth and on TikTok, which I recently joined, that this episode titled Mama Boys is one you didn't want to miss.

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
TikTok is pretty interesting, so y'all pray for me. I'm determined to move into

Shannon:
I'm sorry.

Shun:
this century. Since releasing my book and us starting the podcast together, we are learning that social media is the way of the world. And we decided we better catch up. So if you haven't

Shannon:
All right.

Shun:
already, please follow me on TikTok, Yvette LaShawn, as well as liking and sharing our wifey and baby mama on Facebook and Instagram pages. The auntie's outside y'all, and I promise to

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
follow you back. Hit us up at wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com if you have a minute and let us know you subscribed and leave your city, state, country, whatever you want as we like to know where our peeps are tuning in from. Also, for those of you who may not be on social media and have not heard, we're doing a fall winter giveaway along with our $100 that we give away to all winners every month that are chosen for the months of October, November and December. We will also be giving away a copy of my book title and love the world should know So

Shannon:
Yay!

Shun:
you will have a few extra dollars. Yes

Shannon:
And a

Shun:
A

Shannon:
good

Shun:
few

Shannon:
book

Shun:
extra

Shannon:
to

Shun:
dollars

Shannon:
read.

Shun:
and a good read right for the upcoming colder months Um, we're getting into the holiday spirit early in life and baby mama and we want to bless you all because you are Certainly a blessing to us and you keep us motivated Just please remember for those months, write in the email what month you're submitting for. We want like a strange, creepy red line for October. We want the thankful no-nos for November. And maybe,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
you know, like a no-no you would have dodged, you know, so something you're thankful that you made it out of or kept yourself away from. And for December, we would like a heartwarming no-no. Something that was

Shannon:
and

Shun:
not good. But ended well, you know, for instance, like my ex husband and I, you know, I, we loved each other, but I was never in love. So while it was sad, it came to an end. That was a no-no that, you know, it should have never happened. Um,

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
but you know, when I hear that Usher song, we're not good, but we're still good. Shannon, I don't know if you heard that, but honey, that's my jam, girl.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Shun:
I can't fool with a lot of this crazy music today, but some good R&B, honey, get me going.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
Anyway, that song reminds me. That just because it's over doesn't mean, you know, we don't wish the

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
other person

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
well. But under those

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
circumstances, we shouldn't start relationships. You know, I was too hung up on my head. So that's the submission of a heartwarming, you know, a no-no, you know, it was over, but it was still good. You know, we're still good. And just like you, Shannon, you and your

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
son's father, which is my now husband, still good,

Shannon:
Mm-hmm,

Shun:
you know? And that's how,

Shannon:
exactly.

Shun:
so we want some of those December no-nos, but that just wasn't the guy for you,

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
you know? Thank

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
God, girl, you saved

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
them for me, but. I'm happy you didn't like him that much. But so these next few months of submissions. Mm-mm.

Shannon:
No, I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything. It's not the light thing, but you know both of us. You know us real well

Shun:
No, no,

Shannon:
and we're

Shun:
it was

Shannon:
both

Shun:
just a joke

Shannon:
very quiet. I know, I know.

Shun:
And that's why and that's

Shannon:
You

Shun:
why

Shannon:
can't get

Shun:
you

Shannon:
too

Shun:
got

Shannon:
quiet people

Shun:
and

Shannon:
together.

Shun:
Exactly, but that's why it's still you know, it's still good Look, so you're quiet

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
and will this world is like the louder one

Shannon:
Woo!

Shun:
in your in your relationship

Shannon:
Yes, Will,

Shun:
jimmy's quiet

Shannon:
you, you hear him.

Shun:
Yeah, and jimmy quiet, but you know, i'll be outside honey i'm loud i'm loud enough for the whole family So,

Shannon:
Hehehe

Shun:
you know again opposites attract it's coming up soon. So we'll get

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
into that a

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
little more

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
so

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
guys

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
These next few months of submissions should be interesting. So get them in starting today and tell your friends to tell their friends to like and subscribe to wifey and baby mama and send theirs in too. That's the only condition to getting in on these hot topics and your chance to win $100 every month, a click of a button.

Shannon:
every month.

Shun:
That's it. So let's do it family. We love to hear from you. This is a

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
two-way journey. We would love to know what's going on in your world as we share ours with you in. One more time, please don't forget to leave your initials, a first name, state, city, country, whatever works for you, you know, we'd appreciate it. All

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
right, so it's time to get into tonight's topic, Momma's Boys. We gonna give you all the signs, wonders, and reasons to steer clear. We also wanna let you know sometimes it's okay to stay if you meet or you do meet a Momma's Boy in the future. Because there's nothing wrong with the man loving his momma. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't want one that doesn't, right? Because

Shannon:
Exactly.

Shun:
if you can't love who raised you, right? Then I don't stand a chance. But there's

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
also a line that has to be drawn. You know, once a man takes on a committed partner, a wife.

Shannon:
Right, yeah, so, you know, I've never really, at least not to my knowledge, ever dated a mama's boy. However, I did raise a boy. And we can touch on some of the things I did wrong because I was a true helicopter mom. And when you are that type of mother, your son, you know, especially being a single mother with a son. Your son isn't as hard. I mean we don't want them to be, you know, of course we want them sensitive, but we also want them able to fight for themselves. Now my son can physically fight. That's what he does.

Shun:
Mm-hmm.

Shannon:
But the mental fight, the being able to speak up for himself, those types of things. I squash that by being that helicopter mom. always jumping to his defense, always, oh, you're not messing with my baby, always doing

Shun:
Mm-hmm.

Shannon:
all of that craziness. So yeah, we'll touch on some points. And I know, Sean, you have some stories for us about mama's boys, and I can't wait to hear them.

Shun:
Well, you know ladies, that's the thing before you create a serious bond with that man Especially like

Shannon:
Hmm.

Shun:
you said Shannon if children are involved, you know If you have a single month if you're a single mom You need to know what you're working with and we are here to give you the real on that tonight Now my husband is definitely a mama's boy and he's the baby of the family. So child listen,

Shannon:
Mm.

Shun:
it's tight-knit But he definitely

Shannon:
Thank

Shun:
took

Shannon:
you.

Shun:
his vows serious now I know that's the part you begin to Shannon because you're so connected with the family So, you know how it goes

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
and you're probably thinking like which I got which I'll be having going on But thank God He did take

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
his vows serious. Like I said, and while he was well, we'll always respect his mom and family He makes it real clear that I come first and that's not disrespectful. It's what

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
the word says. So

Shannon:
that's

Shun:
ladies

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
Don't get tonight's message twisted. It's okay for a man to love his mom, but that love should never undercut or overwrite what goes on in your house.

Shannon:
And you hear

Shun:
Um.

Shannon:
people say it all the time, a lot of guys, they don't get that point. They don't get that message. Their mother will always be first for them, no matter what. And

Shun:
Absolutely.

Shannon:
I'm only speaking from friends

Shun:
Your point of

Shannon:
and

Shun:
view. Yeah.

Shannon:
yeah, from what I've observed, it's like,

Shun:
Mm-hmm.

Shannon:
it can be hurtful. I've seen a lot of tears over the man choosing to put his mother above his wife.

Shun:
Yeah

Shannon:
Girlfriends, you know, it's like, I don't know. I'm a little on the fence about the girlfriend, but definitely the wife.

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
That should never happen, never happen. But if you're

Shun:
And you

Shannon:
seeing

Shun:
know.

Shannon:
it while you're the girlfriend, you know, that

Shun:
Run

Shannon:
might be a sign of something.

Shun:
run Uh, you know and being the mother of son shannon you longer than me, you know by a few years But

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
nonetheless,

Shannon:
Oh, we shall.

Shun:
we're both raising boys and I can attest

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
firsthand That we are definitely those boys first love, you know, my son tells me

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
daily Mama, you're so beautiful. You know, he doesn't want to lay down for bed unless mama lays down You know

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
and every move I make he is in close proximity. So I get it,

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
you know, it's a special bond between moms and sons for sure. I mean, I had three

Shannon:
Oh yeah!

Shun:
daughters before I had him, you know, home. I absolutely

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
adore, I adore my girls, but even they will say, we couldn't get away with half the stuff that boy does. It is true, you know, partly because I'm too old and I don't have energy to catch him before he went roundhouse off the top stair. Okay. But secondly,

Shannon:
Hehehehehehe

Shun:
because it's like, that's my son, you know, let him have

Shannon:
Right,

Shun:
it. But,

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
but ladies, like you just said, Shannon. When it is too much babying, we got to know when, you know, when it's too much, you know, when it's too much as

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
a mom. And Shannon, you said that you definitely wish you would have did it a little differently. And guess what?

Shannon:
Oh yeah.

Shun:
He's older now. He's in his thirties. You've done your job.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm,

Shun:
If you could do

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
it over again, then you would know. So that's what we're here for. We're trying to avoid or curb some of that behavior before. Too late for you, Shannon, but you're corrected

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
as it gets older. But that's kind of hard. It's almost like what Kay Michelle said. You can't raise a man. It's almost like

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
once these

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
grown men are set into those ways, it's so hard to curb it and you're fighting a

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
losing battle. It can be done, but for the most part, you know, it's, it's just all bad. Now, of course, like I said, my son is young, but your son, my older, you know, your son, our oldest son, my step

Shannon:
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Shun:
son, he's a full grown man. And I hear you say often now though, Shannon, how you hold him accountable when it comes to relationships.

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
So even though you may have been a helicopter mom in the younger days, at least you've recognized now your need to change or what you did

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
wrong

Shannon:
and

Shun:
and

Shannon:
it's hard,

Shun:
your need to

Shannon:
right?

Shun:
back up, it's hard.

Shannon:
Exactly. Yeah, it's

Shun:
But

Shannon:
hard.

Shun:
I also

Shannon:
You hear

Shun:
know,

Shannon:
me.

Shun:
yeah, how you got his back as a mom when it comes to life.

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
And that's so

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
important. You gotta keep those lines clear. My mom had a different standard when it came to my brothers than she had for my sisters and I. It was like they could do no wrong. And like I said, I certainly understand that, but I now have my own son, but I'm careful, even at my son's young age, to hold him accountable. And one thing I did love about my mom, like you said, despite her favoritism,

Shannon:
Hahaha.

Shun:
was that she didn't mellow in their business too much in their love affairs. It was like, if you like it, I love it. That was her saying. Now, she would tell them if she saw a chick that seemed like she was on the take or loose in her terms. At those times

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
she would say something along the lines of, watch that one, and let that be that. But she didn't try and choose their mates, and I respected that.

Shannon:
Yeah, yeah.

Shun:
Now

Shannon:
I

Shun:
she

Shannon:
love that.

Shun:
often continued. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry

Shannon:
Go ahead Sean.

Shun:
No, but remember

Shannon:
I was

Shun:
you

Shannon:
just

Shun:
said

Shannon:
gonna move

Shun:
I don't know

Shannon:
on

Shun:
about

Shannon:
to another point

Shun:
But you know when you said about no, it's okay, you know when you said about girlfriends, right? Now

Shannon:
Oh yeah.

Shun:
she often continued relationships with their ex because you know, my brothers are younger than I so they wasn't no marriage going on Back in those days, but my mom is like me though. We have a genuine love for people So just because things didn't work doesn't mean you have to like cut people off, right? And we've said that before

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
but maintain a level of respect for that new person. My mom was respectful

Shannon:
Alright.

Shun:
to the point that if she had, my brothers were in a serious relationship, then she wouldn't be inviting the exes over to every little thing. Or if it was something big or a monumental moment, a 50th birthday party for my stepfather, I remember. Now, this is a point when she wants everyone to be there. So she'll tell my brothers like, hey, I'm gonna invite such and such, is that okay? If they were like, oh no mom, absolutely not, then that was the end of

Shannon:
Mm-hmm,

Shun:
it. Like she didn't do

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
anything disrespectful. And you can start by, you know what you can do? You can start by making sure you raise them to be in a position to choose wisely and choose a proper

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
mate. So you don't have to be that, you know, referee all the time between your sons and his one, because that's really not your place. Give them advice,

Shannon:
That's right.

Shun:
but let them make their own choices, you know, don't feed them and weight on them hand and foot, you know, making them solely dependent on you. to the point that they feel like a woman's supposed to hate her to them at all times. That's an injustice to them and they will forever compare every woman to you and they're going to be in for a rude awakening.

Shannon:
Oh yeah, no one will be good enough. No one

Shun:
Mm-mm.

Shannon:
for them. And then another flip, I shouldn't say flip side, but another take on this, I can relate this to my husband and I. So when we first got together, we've been together seven years, married for five. My son calls me every single day, except if, unless we're not getting along. which

Shun:
Okay.

Shannon:
that's happened. We've had two major fights in his adult life,

Shun:
Mm-hmm they go

Shannon:
but

Shun:
silent

Shannon:
that's it. Exactly.

Shun:
on you get your silent treatment. My

Shannon:
Yes.

Shun:
oldest daughter

Shannon:
Really?

Shun:
does that? Yeah

Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun:
And she lives

Shannon:
But

Shun:
with

Shannon:
we've

Shun:
me honey,

Shannon:
only

Shun:
she's

Shannon:
had...

Shun:
speaking

Shannon:
Oh, Lord.

Shun:
She go right to her room is over

Shannon:
So, my son calls every single day, and when Will and I got together, that used to kind of bother him. He wouldn't say anything at first, but I noticed a look. And then after a couple of, I don't know, months or maybe a year, he finally said something. He's like, he calls you every day. And I said, uh-huh. He said, it's always been like this? I said, yeah, and cause I'm waiting for what's the problem?

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
I'm anticipating some drama. And he says, I've just never seen that before. So I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm like, what do you mean? You know, immediately here comes mama bear

Shun:
Here

Shannon:
about

Shun:
comes

Shannon:
to,

Shun:
the helicopter

Shannon:
you know, throw some

Shun:
mama.

Shannon:
blows. He said, no, he says, in where he grew up, when he sees mother and sons talking like this, you know, this is south, he'd seen some crazy stuff with mothers and sons. And I'm like,

Shun:
Mm-hmm.

Shannon:
oh yeah, ain't none of that going on over here. He just like, saying hi to his mom at least once a day. That's it, you know? But we rarely

Shun:
Mm-hmm.

Shannon:
see him. He lives 15 minutes away. We see him maybe once a month, maybe every other month. You know,

Shun:
But he

Shannon:
so

Shun:
calls.

Shannon:
he calls. And I just needed my husband to understand that's okay. That don't mean there's incestuous stuff or you know, whatever sickness might've entered

Shun:
And it's

Shannon:
his brain.

Shun:
exactly, but I think that's absolutely important. My

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
husband's older and his mom is older. And I think that's healthy. I encourage him. I'll ask him sometimes when he call me because he works from sun up to sun down. And sometimes

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
I'll say, hey, have you talked to your mom today? He's not gonna have. And I'm like, well, give her a call. Or, you know, he works close

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
to her house. I'm like, well, make sure you stop by on your way home. Have you seen your mom this week? Well, I've been running. I'm like, well, make sure you stop by. He goes by without fail every Tuesday to put her garbage out. Like it's a ritual.

Shannon:
Um,

Shun:
So I'm

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
like, did you at least go in and say hi? He's like, I was tired. I'm like, well, make sure before the week's out to go see your mom. And I'm gonna tell you, his mom and I did not have the best relationship. We're still not buddy buddy, but that's his mother. She's my mother-in-law.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm,

Shun:
And

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
it's my duty to make sure he keeps a good relationship and keep things calm. And I don't ever want, the reason I do that, I don't wanna ever make his mother feel like his wife is the reason he's not coming to see me.

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
I haven't heard from him all

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
week. I just

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
try to make sure to keep a clear line with that because like I said, there's nothing wrong with loving your mother. It's not that he doesn't, he just works like a Hebrew. So,

Shannon:
I'm going

Shun:
you

Shannon:
to go

Shun:
know,

Shannon:
home.

Shun:
I get it. But I think that's important. I think that's beautiful that your son does that without someone having to prompt him. So,

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
I mean, and he does, but I mean, I've just said, I make sure. And on the other hand, you know, I don't think moms should intentionally make them feel like they have to, you know, like

Shannon:
True.

Shun:
they don't want to find them, you know. Make them so dependent that they don't want to find a good wife, you know, because they know

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
no one is going to bow down to Wait on them, you know And we have those mom who also groomed their sons to be codependent So they can almost

Shannon:
Oh yeah.

Shun:
dictate to the son what kind of woman he should have And it will usually be one she picks because the woman will be weak and bow to both of them Like I said son

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
and the mother People this

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
is all bad, you know, and I have

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
never seen a situation like that worked out well So I don't

Shannon:
Me

Shun:
see anything

Shannon:
either.

Shun:
wrong with your son keeping a good connection with you. Like you said, you don't see him often, which means he has his own life. But

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
in those situations, either the son, when the mother dictates so much to she's picked a mate, either the son will end up with a woman who he's not, you know, he's not satisfied with,

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
which eventually leads to infidelity, you know, in the marriage.

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
But the mother

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
and family are happy, you know, or the wife will finally say to hell with all y'all, and she's had enough and she's gone. Either way, it won't end well if you don't keep a perfect balance, you know what I'm saying?

Shannon:
Right, right. And I want mothers to know too, mothers of sons, your son doesn't owe you anything once he's an adult. Everyone wants to think, oh, I raised you, I clothe you, I fed you, that's the law, people. That's the law. That's what you're supposed to do when you have a child. Now, when

Shun:
It's

Shannon:
he

Shun:
the

Shannon:
becomes

Shun:
law and it's

Shannon:
a

Shun:
the

Shannon:
man,

Shun:
word.

Shannon:
and it's the word, yeah. And when he becomes a man and he decides to either, be stuck up under you or whatever, or... move off to Timbuktu, you gotta let them do what they do at 18. I didn't do that. So here's a perfect chance for me to help somebody else. When my son wanted to go to college, I begged and pleaded, begged and pleaded. Luckily he didn't listen to me because I wanted him to stay in North Carolina. He went all the way to Maine. He was like, oh lord, I'm going to Maine. And then from Maine, he transferred to school in Boston. And then when he came home from Boston, came back to the south permanently, I was in a three story townhouse. This was before my husband. Whole top floor. I never went up there. So I'm like, Hey son, you can, you can just chill up there, you know, be fine. I'm thinking, Oh cool. You got this cool roommate situation going on. He can help pay some bills. Um,

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
but no. He was there probably I don't know a month and he said my I got my own apartment. I'm like what? You

Shun:
He

Shannon:
can

Shun:
was

Shannon:
you

Shun:
like,

Shannon:
got it good here

Shun:
he was

Shannon:
You

Shun:
like,

Shannon:
got

Shun:
no.

Shannon:
it good It's like no and so I was in my feelings and hurt like oh, you don't want to do this for me I've been alone This time I just need you to stay here for a minute He went on about his business, which he should have and I shouldn't have been trying to convince him to to stay there with me or help pay something over here. You know, no, he doesn't owe me that. So I need mothers, if you've done your job and they're 18 and they're wanting to strike it out into the world, let them do that. Don't hold them back or put guilt chips on them saying, you know, you see me over here.

Shun:
Lonely

Shannon:
You know,

Shun:
and by myself.

Shannon:
exactly.

Shun:
Keep me company.

Shannon:
I remember,

Shun:
Help me out, yeah.

Shannon:
yeah, even though Jay went to Maine. He was so nervous and upset about going. And I said, why are you so worked up? He said, I just wish you had somebody. And I said, Jay, I'm good. Believe me, I'm fine. So, you know, I know he felt that because I put that on him. He should have never felt that. He should have never been allowed to see that. He should have went off to college like, life is great, not worried about. his mother sitting alone in front of the TV eating ice cream, you know? So.

Shun:
Well, Shannon, at least though, I'm gonna tell you how brave you are for recognizing that. You know

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
how many mothers never, and again, your son is in his 30s. You know how many moms have 50 and 60 year old sons that just stay here with me? You don't need that woman. You know how many people that do that? So I'm so happy that you had the courage to recognize that and admit I was wrong, I shouldn't have did it that

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
way.

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
And you know, I'm so happy that you're here to tell that story, because mine is five. I don't have any stories yet, y'all, I'm sorry. Besides the

Shannon:
I'm

Shun:
fact that

Shannon:
going

Shun:
Frank

Shannon:
to

Shun:
hangs

Shannon:
go to bed.

Shun:
on to my ankles. When is daddy not around? When daddy around though, I'm non-existent. But anyways, the whole point is, you were able to do that as a single mom. That was your first child, that's your only child. You did the best you

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
could. But

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
I'm so thankful that you are here. We are here to do this, to stop other moms before they even have sons, or if they haven't sons,

Shannon:
way.

Shun:
to correct that behavior. That's what it's all about. We're not here trying to tell anybody how to live their lives. We're not here saying we know it all, but

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
I said it before. If you ain't been through nothing, you ain't been through something, you can't tell me nothing. So what better

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
than a person

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
that, look, I did that, it's wrong, don't do it, you know? And look how it turned out. But thank God he was also man enough to recognize, I ain't doing this with my mama. I'm going to be my own man. So it can happen.

Shannon:
I'm going

Shun:
So

Shannon:
to

Shun:
that's

Shannon:
go to

Shun:
what I'm

Shannon:
bed.

Shun:
saying, ladies. If you do meet a mama's boy, it's not like a dead situation, oh, it can't be corrected. But it definitely shouldn't be continued and you shouldn't just allow it to go on because I'm telling you, it's gonna end bad. Either you're gonna be miserable or you're gonna be gone. So if

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
you work on it a few months a year and you see it's not letting up, you have that serious conversation and say, hey, well, look, you have your mother. Because no one is obligated to that. And Shannon, if you're done speaking to that point, I wanna talk about

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
one more point when

Shannon:
I

Shun:
it

Shannon:
am.

Shun:
comes to those

Shannon:
Yeah,

Shun:
mama

Shannon:
go ahead.

Shun:
boys.

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
I wanna talk about the worst of the mama boys, in my opinion. And that's the ones who are taught by their mom from the day they can speak, that the dad or any man for that matter is no good. and how she suffered

Shannon:
Oh,

Shun:
because of it. She

Shannon:
right,

Shun:
poisoned

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
the son's mind to the point that he hates or despises the female species altogether because mama is right, because mama has taught him that what she said is the Bible. And if you don't agree or think like mama, then that man is not gonna be good to anybody. These kind of men will set out to make every female feel what his mama had to feel, or at least what she told him she felt because of his father. This two people is toxic. toxic and very unhealthy. Don't do that women, don't do that to your sons. Whatever relationship you have with men, you take that to Jesus. You raise those boys to be good men and let them make their own choices. Like Shannon said, when they're ready to venture out, let them go, I know it's hard. I can imagine Frank

Shannon:
Mm-hmm.

Shun:
only five, him saying, he going away to Maine. Girl, I'll probably be somewhere under the couch outside in the driveway, just take me out now. But we have to,

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
you know, we have to do it. And I have no doubt that I'm gonna be a woman to do what my husband's gonna make me do it because he ain't raising no mama's boy. So he teaches him, you know, he got him out there washing cars,

Shannon:
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Shun:
honey, at five, he'd be out there buffing the cars and the motorcycles. So,

Shannon:
Oh,

Shun:
but again,

Shannon:
no.

Shun:
if it ever comes to that point, we've had this conversation, Shannon, and we know what not to do, you know. You got anything else for the peeps tonight on the mama's boys?

Shannon:
that's it. I mean I could keep going but we'll be out of time so.

Shun:
We'll be out of time, okay. Well, let's leave them with this tonight. When it comes to mama's boys, mothers, it's imperative to just love and raise your sons to be meant. Teach them how to lead, teach them survival skills, teach them to cook, keep a clean house, do laundry, grocery shop, but most of all, teach them how to love properly and then let them go when it's time. The most important thing to remember is... Once you see them becoming a man, as Shannon said, just guide them in the proper direction, but don't dictate them. And men, if you see or have a mother who's already controlling or becoming that way, stop it before it's too late. And we'll wrap that title up and head to the red line.

Shannon:
thing. Perfect.

Shun:
All right, tonight's red line tip is don't let your mama cost you a mate. Fellas, it's important to remember that your mom is just that. That's the role God put her on this earth to play. Don't allow her to become between you and the mate God also placed on this earth for you. We all have our roles to play in this thing called life, and if we would just accept that and stay in those boundaries, we can look forward to some healthy, happy, blended lives, right? But if you don't, Be prepared for years of drama, hormone, confusion, and who really has time for that in the end? Everything comes down to choices. Be sure to make the right one when it comes to that. Mama can do a lot for you. Mama brought you into this world, but Mama can't do what a good wife can when those lights go out. Think about it. The next time Mama oversteps, think about that. Mama will be in her bed sleeping good while you in the next room. or at home restless

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
because you let your good thing get away. It's okay to be a mama's boy, but be sure that's not stopping you from being your woman's man. And that's my red line topic for tonight.

Shannon:
I love that red line and you know, part of that as Sean, you said too, you know, it's keeping the peace in your home, remembering

Shun:
Absolutely.

Shannon:
that this is your home, man, and

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
you're here

Shun:
right.

Shannon:
to lead us. So lead us in peace.

Shun:
Lead us in peace and love mama connect with mama keep a tight bond with mama, but mama don't come before that bond with your wife

Shannon:
That's right. All right.

Shun:
All right, girlfriend,

Shannon:
Excellent red

Shun:
you got

Shannon:
lines.

Shun:
it from here.

Shannon:
So yeah,

Shun:
Thank you.

Shannon:
so if you would like your $100 gift card, along with your books in October, November, and December, please submit your red lines to wifeyandbabymamaatgmail.com, as Sean said when we opened the show. Scary for October, thankful for November, and heartfelt is December,

Shun:
Heart felt

Shannon:
right?

Shun:
heart warming

Shannon:
All

Shun:
for December.

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
Yes, ma'am

Shannon:
That's right. So yes, submit your red lines and the winner, the third Thursday of the month, will get their $100 gift card when we read their red line submission on the air and their book. I love the world should know. We thank you for your submissions and we look forward to reading them every week. All right, to our final segment of the night. fictional family I'm feeling and This week's family comes from the movie jumping the broom and For all of you that's seen it based on tonight's topic. I'm sure you know which scene I'm headed to So the setup so there's a Wedding over they're planning a wedding the family is planning a wedding and the is engaged to a woman named Sabrina that his mother doesn't really like Well, she never liked anyone for that matter But

Shun:
Right.

Shannon:
the bride did not want to jump the broom. She did not Want to do that tradition and that sent his mother and family you know off the deep end like how dare she not want to jump the broom and the mother went off on the soon-to-be bride and it caused the a fight between mother and son. So the son says to his mother, what are you doing? This is her wedding. If she don't wanna jump the broom, she don't have to jump the broom. He says, what do you want from me? Do you want love? I give you love. You want respect? I give you respect. And the mother was like, oh, you ain't giving me no respect because this woman thinks she too good to come across the bridge, to go see them. And across the bridge, of course, we know has a metaphor for the other side of the tracks Even though they do live across the bridge literally But he says you see why I didn't want her to come See what happened. This is what you do. He said every woman I've ever loved you sabotaged it. You've you got in the way He says you have to change I am not a little boy and I'm not your husband. I'm

Shun:
mmm

Shannon:
a man and

Shun:
let's

Shannon:
I am

Shun:
look

Shannon:
your son. And he says, but you have to change. You have to change. And it took him, you know, all these years. Here we are looking at a 30-some year old man confronting his mother. Not very many men can do that,

Shun:
That's

Shannon:
but

Shun:
right.

Shannon:
happy to say he put his foot down and of course things changed. Not only was his... Wedding beautiful. I'm sure then no life after it peaceful all because he took that one little step Yeah, I'm sure his mother villains were hurt for a minute, but she got over it. So men Women you guys out there, you know Let's let's watch our mama's boys and try not to raise them first of all And then if you do the encounter them as Sean said you have a decision to make you know what you want to do about it. So that is the fictional family I am feeling this evening.

Shun:
Shannon, that was great. And let me tell you another point. He said, how many relationships have you ruined for me?

Shannon:
Oh yeah.

Shun:
That's why I didn't bring her to see you. You know what else that signifies? That he found the one. So you

Shannon:
Yeeees.

Shun:
run out of other little chicks off, but I found, and God has spoken to my spirit, that this is my wife. Now I gotta let you know. And so

Shannon:
Right.

Shun:
it was okay for you to ruin all those girlfriends and one night stands and jump offs, but this is gonna be my wife. So that was the time. So men, I'm telling you, women, I'm telling you, even if it's a mama's boy, when you're the right one, he'll do what he needs to do.

Shannon:
You

Shun:
So

Shannon:
got that right.

Shun:
he even let her through the reception, I mean, through the dinner, remember the rehearsal dinner, he allowed

Shannon:
Oh

Shun:
his

Shannon:
yeah.

Shun:
mom to do a few things that were, we look at his women as disrespectful. Remember he kicked her under the table like,

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
chill, just let her, that's my mom. But when she heard that girl's feelings and she told him she would marry him anymore, he's like, oh, something got to give.

Shannon:
Yep.

Shun:
And...

Shannon:
Yeah.

Shun:
Because the wife, the fiance said, I ain't doing this with you. This how you gonna let your mother behave? You go ahead and have your mama. And

Shannon:
That's

Shun:
that was

Shannon:
right.

Shun:
the turning point for them. So great fictional family girl. That was great.

Shannon:
Right. So that is it for the night. We thank you all for joining us around the globe. We look forward to any new subscribers. We welcome you all. We're so grateful and thankful that you're taking the time to listen to us at all. So much love.

Shun:
Much love. Until next week.