Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:35.366)
Hi, I'm Shun.

Shannon (00:38.607)
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun (00:38.714)
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Happy Thursday, family, and happy Thursday, Baby Mama.

Shannon (00:45.645)
Happy Thursday to you too girl.

Shun (00:47.426)
Welcome to episode 7 of season 5 my people we are grateful that you are all tuned in to spend another Thursday with us and you'll be so glad you did Y'all know we love a guest So, what do y'all think the vibes are gonna be tonight because we have two okay Shannon, you know, we need a round of applause

Shannon (01:00.771)
Yes, you will.

Shannon (01:09.455)
What? We got two? Yes!

Shun (01:12.175)
Hahaha!

Shun (01:17.788)
I'm gonna ask for one more in just a second because they're not just to y'all but drum roll, please. They are both males

Shannon (01:26.243)
Yeah, My god, you didn't give me time for the drum roll, but yeah got a cheer for that too first time in Wifey and baby mama history to male guests loving it loving it

Shun (01:35.356)
Right To male guests at one time Shannon now do we come through for y'all or do we come through for y'all? We told y'all wasn't gonna be our females up here. in all season. Yeah. Yep in Shannon That's what the old people call it down south Just talking non-stop. Okay. No, we weren't gonna do y'all like that. Now while Shannon and I are not perfect We are dedicated and faithful to you all just as you are to us and we promise you some male opinions So here to break down tonight's topic with us

Shannon (01:52.899)
Right, right.

Shun (02:05.02)
titled Just and Unjust is a returning guest from our previous season, Mr. James Harris and new to us tonight is Mr. James Cunningham. Not only are there two males, y'all, we got two James's. Y'all heard me right, okay? So, Shannon, just so we don't confuse anyone tonight, we're gonna refer to James Harris as James or Harris because at the prison we use last names. So if y'all hear Harris step out, I'm sorry, that's what we do.

Shannon (02:12.731)
Yeah.

Shannon (02:19.077)
you

Shannon (02:24.73)
Right.

Shun (02:31.364)
Mr. James Cunningham will be as dressed as Jimmy to keep everybody straight. So if you guys email us with questions That's how you're gonna refer to them if you want to email us with some backlog or questions or you know follow up It'll be James Harris. He'll be James and Jimmy James Cunningham will be addressed as Jimmy and I'll let these fellas introduce themselves. So go ahead. Mr. James Harrison you go first

James Harris (02:55.922)
My name is James Harris. I'm 59 years old, divorced, three kids.

Shun (03:00.812)
All right, straight to it. Welcome back. We certainly appreciate you taking the time, my brother. And I look forward to a real good episode tonight with you guys. But before we get started, we have another James. So Jimmy, why don't you jump in and introduce yourself, brother?

Shannon (03:03.405)
And welcome back, welcome back James.

James (03:20.502)
Hi everybody, James Cunningham also gets known as Jimmy. I have five kids. I'm a football dad. I'm also a coach wrestling. I'm a finance finance director. Listen, I actually, I feel like I actually feel like I'm on a meal. I am on a menu. I feel like being set up, but I'm ready for it though.

Shannon (03:43.982)
Yeah.

Shun (03:46.32)
Well, you got five kids Jimmy you have some you have some opinions we need those opinions brother because Shannon and I we could get on here and talk till we're blue in the face about what women think in in situations But we never have the other well not never we have had a few male Yes, I think three Shannon and I five season history y'all three maybe four I don't want to forget anyone but seriously James is a returning guest So it's not like we have a whole lot but you guys are brave and no it's nothing that we're gonna get on here and talk about to do

Shannon (03:50.811)
Yes

James (03:53.709)
Okay.

Shannon (03:58.653)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (04:05.252)
Right.

Shun (04:14.268)
Our show is about uplifting and getting people to do the right thing and avoiding some of the mistakes we made. So very simple, very smooth, brother. We are a family here, so now we ain't gonna set you up. You won't come back, Jimmy. You won't come back. So baby mama, you ready for the ride, girl?

Shannon (04:25.857)
Yeah.

James (04:27.534)
Okay.

Shannon (04:33.691)
We are ready let's do it

Shun (04:34.694)
Well, let's get into it. As I stated, tonight's topic is just and unjust. And we want to discuss, is it ever okay for one parent to stop dealing with the children or their child because he or she and the mother are not getting along? And Jimmy, since you are new here tonight, we have manners on this show. Brother, why don't you go first? Do you ever feel like that's okay? And Harris, after he's done, you can follow.

James (05:00.91)
Oh boy, see, I thought you, see? Now I feel like, I feel I'm being set up already. Because, uh.

Shannon (05:05.509)
Hehehehehe

Shun (05:08.548)
No, give us an honest opinion. Listen, all we do is hear speak our truth.

James (05:10.104)
So.

Shannon (05:12.635)
Yeah, yeah.

James (05:15.094)
Okay, so I say the only way that it might be okay to not engage with the child if the parents aren't getting along is if the child is being used as a weapon.

Shun (05:23.932)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (05:29.596)
Mm-hmm. Okay.

Shannon (05:30.939)
Hmm

James (05:32.115)
because no one should be held hostage by anybody or anything for that matter. mean, having a child supposed to be a joyous occasion and watching them and raising them and watching them grow up, that's supposed to be a joyous occasion. I mean, it's all an investment, right? But when that investment, so when that investment or when that item is converted into something else, a depressed asset, so to speak, then yeah, sometimes, and I'm not saying for life, I'm just saying for,

Shun (05:39.388)
true.

Shun (05:49.016)
Absolutely.

James (06:03.662)
No, just for temporary, like just temporary until cooler heads prevail or that depressed asset becomes the investment that is supposed to be. So that's how I feel about it. mean, does it sound good? Probably not, but I mean, neither does using a child as a weapon.

Shun (06:22.428)
Absolutely. It's real life.

Shannon (06:24.057)
Yeah, but what about when the child is really, really young when they really can't be used? Now, there are men who, and I have to use a family member as an example, where the parents got divorced or whatever, and the father didn't want anything to do with the child because he wasn't a mother so badly that he just left the child alone.

Shun (06:45.446)
Mm. Wow.

Shannon (06:49.089)
alone, know, simply because he couldn't deal with the hurt of not having his wife. And so the child was used as a weapon in the sense where he said, you know, if you let me see you, I'll see my child. But the child wasn't young, I'm sorry, old enough to have any part in the in the game, so to speak. What are your thoughts on that, Jimmy?

James (06:55.566)
One.

James (07:12.236)
Yeah, don't like that. Because, yeah, I don't like that at all. Because, listen, as a parent, you have to be committed to your kids, right? And commitment is doing what you said you're gonna do long after the feeling when you said it has passed. I mean, in a situation that you just described, Shannon, that, I don't know.

Shun (07:13.317)
Nope.

Shannon (07:14.586)
Yeah, okay.

Shun (07:16.454)
Right.

Shun (07:23.484)
That's right.

Shun (07:31.088)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (07:32.613)
Right.

James (07:41.262)
You know, it's probably best that he's not in part of that child's life. It's probably best that he's not.

Shun (07:43.636)
Now that I can't now Jimmy now that I've never thought of and that I can actually agree on because if you're gonna do that child any harm or show them any negative ill will toward their mother or Talk down about yourself around them. I just can't live without your mother. I'm a wreck That's not gonna be any good for that child So I thought I'd never say that but that's why male opinions are so important Shanna. I never thought of it that way

Shannon (07:44.471)
All right, yeah, okay. That's a cool.

Hmm.

Shannon (08:07.003)
Yeah, yeah, me either.

James (08:08.822)
And you're not investing. Again, remember I just said it. No, parenting is an investment, right? You're not investing. You're not investing into the child at all. If that's your stance. You're not even making an investment at all. And they're too young to do things on their own. So they need someone to invest in it. They need a trusted person investing in it. And something like that, the way you just described now. Look at God, huh?

Shun (08:13.38)
Right?

Shannon (08:15.066)
rain.

Shun (08:17.699)
you're doing that. That's right.

Shannon (08:23.983)
Yeah, good point.

Shun (08:33.996)
gut. Well James, how do you feel about it here?

Shannon (08:34.671)
Good point.

James Harris (08:39.682)
Well, you know, me myself, coming from that situation, I would never, even if that's, know, me speaking, I would never let that happen to me, using my child to see a woman. That would never happen. And if we didn't get along, I would probably go through the courts, you know, where I can get every other weekend because I'm not going to not see my child. That's not in me as a man. That would never happen.

Shun (09:06.62)
Gotcha.

Shannon (09:08.579)
I love that. So you're gonna fight. All right.

James Harris (09:10.967)
I'm gonna fight. Yeah, so, you know, even if she didn't want to deal, just say that she was on the other foot and she was like that. You know, saying, well, if we can't deal, then you can't see your child. Then I would, you know, go through the courts where, you know, I could see my child every other weekend.

James (09:25.932)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (09:27.1)
Because you know, bitter baby mama is a real thing. It's a real thing.

Shannon (09:31.509)
yeah. yeah.

James (09:33.467)
I'm aware.

Shun (09:34.844)
Wait minute, Jimmy, you speak like you got some experience. He said, I'm aware. Do you want to elaborate, Jimmy, or should we move on? Because this is a free forum, baby. You can talk about it.

Shannon (09:36.283)
Yeah, let's talk about it.

James Harris (09:36.625)
Ha

James (09:46.424)
No, we should probably... No, we should probably move on.

Shun (09:49.23)
Okay, because he said he said i'm aware So I don't know if you all have heard of the ongoing feud with bryan mcnight and his adult children But it's a sad affair right that he has absolutely zero dealings from his mouth And i'm only speaking from the internet, of course He has zero dealing with his children from his first marriage They're grown so much that he didn't even attend one of his son's funerals Nor has he yet to acknowledge his death now. I can't say shannon

Shannon (09:51.451)
you

Shannon (10:06.405)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (10:16.316)
what the underlying issue is and unless you are an immediate part of that particular situation or family, we can never weigh in 100 % correctly, right? Because as the old saying goes, there's three sides to every story, know, it's their side, your side and the truth somewhere in the middle, you know, or that just could be my mama, but I know somebody said that and as I lived, has, it's proven to be true.

Shannon (10:30.875)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (10:39.1)
who's ever telling the story is gonna always lean a little bit more their way. And mean, I think we can all agree on that, whether that's right or wrong or intentionally, you know what I mean? Because I may forget to say something harmful that I said to cause my baby daddy to feel the way he feels. You get what I'm saying? So I can go spread the news that he's not seeing my child. But maybe I didn't mention the fact that I called him a deadbeat dog. You know, maybe that hurt his feelings, whatever the case, that's just an example, y'all. I ain't did that, I hope. But I don't know, this mouth get vicious at times, but I hope I ain't said that.

Shannon (10:49.155)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (10:55.952)
Yeah.

James (11:07.662)
man.

Shun (11:08.676)
Jimmy you be quiet. This is not the time to tell them about me. This is not about me, but either way It's never safe to judge from the outside looking in right? But do you ever see a reason to cut your kids off like that like like to not attend their funeral and not you know Is it I mean to me that's just a little bit much but honestly, you know again We're on the outside looking at but I don't think is anything any one of my kids father could do to not make me

Shannon (11:17.915)
Bye.

Shun (11:35.554)
To attend their funeral even if they turn that child against me, right? Once that child is dead and gone you respect the dead you get what i'm saying How do you guys feel about that?

Shannon (11:43.525)
Mm-hmm.

James (11:49.323)
I'm deferring to James first.

James Harris (11:51.54)
Okay, that's fine. You know, me, myself, just, there's nothing I feel like one of my kids could do to make me not want to deal with them. You know, it's nothing. You know, because if it gets out of hand, you know, we probably, which I've never had that in, thank God, but you know, maybe a few days, let it blow over, but I'm gonna make contact and say, hey, we need to talk. I'm not gonna just.

Shun (12:01.466)
Right, isn't that horrible?

James Harris (12:19.329)
You know, I'm a mature man. I'm not gonna let my child be not in my life, especially over some nonsense or whatever. You know, you gotta talk it out right.

Shun (12:25.125)
disagreement.

James (12:30.348)
No, Jay, I actually like that response actually, because I believe that, let's just say that you have like four kids, right? You got four kids and one of them, one of the kids that we're speaking of is the one that's caused, that's bringing chaos to the household. They're bringing violence to the household, et cetera, et cetera. So as a parent, have a, especially a father, you have a responsibility of protecting your household and protecting those that are in it.

Shannon (12:48.346)
Wow.

Shun (12:58.748)
Mm-hmm.

James (13:00.434)
And sometimes, sometimes it falls upon a few to be sacrificed for many, especially if that person has those characteristics I just described. Let's say you're in a gang, constantly bring violence over to the household, you bring chaos to the household, you're disrupting the household. But I like what you said, James, we still gonna talk. We're still gonna talk.

James Harris (13:26.426)
That's Right, right.

Shannon (13:27.353)
Yeah, yeah.

James (13:29.494)
You may not be able to come and stay at the house, but we still gonna talk. If you need me, I'll be around. I'll be around. You need me, I'm right here. And when you ready to come home, prodigal son, I got you.

Shannon (13:34.459)
Hmm.

Shun (13:36.816)
And what do you say to that Shannon? Absolutely. And I just honestly feel that's the way it should be. But Shannon, what do you got to say before I weigh in on it?

Shannon (13:37.851)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (13:42.043)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Shannon (13:50.46)
Right, no, no, I totally agree with that as well. know, the only time I think it might get a little bit tricky in where you have to understand you're dealing with, you know, children, even if they're teenagers, there, they can be immature. I mean, they may not understand why you're doing what you're doing. And they might think, especially in a blended family. So say, for example,

Shun (14:05.436)
you

James Harris (14:10.733)
.

Shannon (14:19.535)
You know, you have two new kids, I'm gonna call them new kids, with your new wife, you know, and one of the children from the previous relationship or marriage is the one you're shutting out for that reason. You know, they're gonna take it a little differently. So it might be a little more than talking that's needed. It might be a little outside help that you need to pull in to help that child understand you're not singling them out simply because

James Harris (14:38.045)
you

Shannon (14:49.443)
you have a new family and you know how children are. And as we've talked on this on this platform many, many times, because we are about the blended family and about how, you know, you know, kids have a lot of say and, you know, how they feel about different things. And a lot of times their feelings are their perception is, you know, it is what it is. Their feelings and their perception that doesn't necessarily mean it's

Shun (14:51.825)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (15:18.852)
Right. That's right.

Shannon (15:19.085)
It's true. It's just what they're feeling. So a lot of times women can, sorry against our men here and if y'all want to jump on me, but sometimes women can see that a little bit more than a man can and say, wait a minute. I have to be a little bit more nurturing when it comes to this child that I'm trying to keep out because of the chaos that they're bringing into this situation. Go ahead, jump on me.

James Harris (15:34.284)
.

James Harris (15:38.491)
you

Shun (15:47.118)
She said, jump on me.

James (15:51.608)
So my kids, so I don't just, no, it's not just actions, I actually speak. Like I'll tell them exactly why the situation is, in my view, why the situation is what it is and why I'm taking these steps. So it's not like I just pack your stuff and be like, you outta here. I'm gonna tell you why, we're gonna talk about it and I'm gonna tell you why. You get a chance, you get a chance to say, know, dad, I was trippin'.

Shun (16:12.348)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

James (16:19.27)
I see where you're coming from. I'm gonna do everything I can to make that work, whatever. But if your position remains as it was when we first started talking, then yeah, you got to go. But again, you will know. And my kids get upset with me. I don't think, well, they might get upset with me because I don't get loud. I don't draw a crowd. I'm like real matter of fact, I talk calmly and that's it. I'm like real direct and there's no equivocation whatsoever. And at some point they're like, yo dad, you cold, you wild. But it is what it, but.

Shannon (16:47.163)
you

James (16:48.475)
No one can say they didn't understand. And no one can say, he never said that. So what do you think about that, James?

Shun (16:50.332)
That's the fact. That's right.

James Harris (16:58.571)
Yeah, I agree. I agree to that. Because I was just thinking about some things that couple incidents that I had dealing with my kids and

I have two daughters and a son, and I've only had to whip one of them, but it's the youngest daughter.

Shannon (17:16.443)
Oh wow. Wow, not the daughter.

James (17:18.555)
man,

Shun (17:18.769)
You

James Harris (17:19.931)
Yeah, you know, it's, you know, you're right. And that's what everybody was like, the daughter, because like the son, you know, he's easy going. Everybody say he's like me. You know, like you say, I don't raise my voice. I just get straight to the point. Either you're gonna follow my rules or hey, it's time to let you see what the world got for you without me. About a week or two when ain't no gas money and no hairdos.

Shun (17:21.883)
The baby girl!

Shun (17:40.988)
You

James (17:50.316)
And you know what's crazy about that? But you said, James, what's great is that you your son just like you and the word out is that they say either your kid is gonna be exactly like you or a complete opposite, right? And which in both scenarios is fine with me. However, what extent of opposite is this child gonna be?

Shun (18:12.392)
Right. Well, let me, I want to just jump in really quick with my daughter who's now almost 21. When she was 17, she graduated high school. She did not want to go to college. And I know from my father forcing me to go dropping out two years later, it was a waste of money and time. If a child does not want to be in school, they're not going to do well. I didn't even fight with her. So I said, do you want to go to Job Corps? No. Do you want to get a job? Yeah, I get a job. She was 17. I think.

James Harris (18:29.326)
.

Shun (18:36.876)
She wants six months. I let her have a little fun We paid for a vacation in Florida Miami go live it up and come back get to it, right? Now my oldest daughter straight out of high school straight to college honor rolls dean's list principal I mean just a just a model kid this second negro was wild bill Okay, so every child having four children I realized something and I know you guys have you know multiple children shannon you only got one so you don't really have a

Shannon (18:54.907)
you

Shun (19:00.06)
Test quota, but the rest of us got a couple out here so we can test it to tell you that every child is different Do y'all agree right? Every single child is gonna be different. So this little girl was buckwild. So I gave her six months nothing I can't find a job all a little frenzy the working her in school. So as I tell you what I will pay you $100 a week then just watch your brother is summertime watch your brother, you know do daycare You know see if that's something you want to do Y'all this Negro won't come home

Shannon (19:03.117)
Right, yeah.

James Harris (19:08.132)
Death Note

James (19:09.731)
Yes.

James Harris (19:19.754)
.

Shun (19:29.744)
So she ain't watching the baby. She ain't working. I told her, I was calling off work constantly. I said, if I got to call off work one more time and you knocking on my door at two, three in the morning, you will not be living here anymore. The next night, y'all, she did it again. This was a Wednesday night. Thursday, guess what she was doing? Finding her somewhere to live. And she'd been living on her own ever since. But I had to do it because if I did not do it, she was going nowhere fast.

James (19:52.27)
OK, so.

James Harris (19:53.866)
Okay.

Shun (19:55.77)
You understand she was hanging with the wrong crowd. She was out smoking weed. She wasn't out just being out She was out getting into devilment little girls knocking on my door. They want to fight I work for the government and my husband worked for the city You will not bring that into my house The other two children are in school and the other the daughter is working You're the only Dennis the menace up in here and guess what that broke my heart, right? But I heard her just last year Shannon Frank was our baby son was running around just while and jumping off of stuff

Shannon (19:58.012)
Thanks

James (20:11.147)
I get it.

Shannon (20:17.211)
You

Shun (20:24.794)
And I said, Jamison, if I got to tell you one more time, it won't be with my mouth, right? So I walks off. She, I hear her say, she don't realize I'm stealing earshots. She said, Frankie, you need to listen to mama. That's the worst thing I could have done was not listen to my mother. And when she say something, she mean it. And I had to go figure it out the hard way, buddy. You need to listen to mom. And I did cry. I'm gonna tell y'all I boohoo.

Shannon (20:41.24)
No.

James Harris (20:46.928)
Okay.

Shun (20:47.632)
But it let me know something y'all, it worked. You see what I'm saying? Because I could have let her stay, ran all over me, and she would have ended up somewhere in a graveyard or a jail. Because I had to show her that it's rules to this thing called life. And I never, and that's my baby. It's a girl, but I had to do it.

Shannon (20:51.951)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (20:58.04)
yeah.

Right.

James (21:01.816)
Yeah, but I have a-

Shannon (21:03.909)
Well.

James (21:06.04)
Yeah, I got a question though. There's the two hardest jobs for a human being. Two hardest jobs. One is to bring a child into the world. Birth, y'all know. The second is to watch them and take care of them. So you told your youngest that...

Shun (21:06.16)
Okay.

Shun (21:12.22)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (21:17.84)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (21:20.613)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (21:24.188)
Right.

Shannon (21:26.149)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (21:30.36)
Mm-mm. My middle daughter.

Mm-hmm.

James (21:34.926)
your middle daughter that her job now is to watch the kids. Hell, I ain't gonna lie, I don't care. I probably wouldn't have came home either. I'm just gonna, I might have it all too. I think I might have had to risk it all. I don't know about that.

Shun (21:40.985)
No, she's 18.

James Harris (21:41.097)
Ha ha ha ha.

Shun (21:45.046)
Now listen, shh, no, no, no, no, wait a minute, let's get something straight. One kid, she's 18 years old, she's not working, she's not contributing to the house, she's staying out all night smoking weed and drinking. So you think you're gonna come in my house, eat my food and lay out all night and not contribute to the house and I gotta pay daycare while you in my house soaking up my good air and good eat my food? The devil is a lie.

James (21:55.564)
Yeah, that's distinction without difference to me.

James (22:12.684)
Yeah, I get it, but I'm just saying, no, I know, no. No, no. I don't wanna, listen, I love my grandkids. I don't wanna watch them. I don't.

Shannon (22:17.209)
Yeah, I hear you.

Shun (22:17.532)
Let's go!

So.

James Harris (22:21.448)
Well...

Shun (22:23.994)
But Harris, Harris, do you think about that? Hey, let me tell y'all something, be totally honest with you. My husband didn't agree. He was pissed. He was firefighting mad about it. But I told him, I see me in that girl. And if it ain't some boundaries, it's gonna be bad. And guess what now? We got boundaries, okay? She figured it out. James, what do you think in that situation?

James Harris (22:47.304)
Well, you know, they say I'm the drill sergeant. fifth grade, I'm preaching. When you turn 18, you got three choices. All of them involved, getting out of my house. College, military, or get a job.

Shun (22:49.232)
You

Shannon (22:52.443)
Thanks.

Shun (22:57.148)
you

Shun (23:02.449)
That's a

So.

James Harris (23:05.69)
And this from fifth grade. And so right now, and so right now I got two with their master's degree and one is getting ready to finish up nursing.

Shun (23:07.366)
So Jimmy, while I get...

Shannon (23:15.833)
All right. All right.

Shun (23:16.732)
See what I'm saying?

James (23:18.75)
where's a round of applause for that? Congratulations, Payne.

Shun (23:20.284)
Congratulations brother. Yeah, that's all

Shannon (23:21.977)
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, it's gotta give you give you that. That's awesome. Yes. Yeah

James Harris (23:25.991)
That's why I say it.

Shun (23:29.788)
So Jimmy, now I get what you're saying, but this was just a summer. So this is during the summer. So I'm gonna pay three, 400 a week to have my kid watch while you, I mean, I get what you're saying, right? So should I have allowed that? And then you are free to have your opinion. That's what our show is all about. And that's why we love a variety of opinions. And it's great that you disagree. What in that situation would you have done? Just let her just lay there all summer and chill?

James (23:56.782)
Oh, hold on, hold on. only think, only thing I disagree with is the choice of occupation, watching kids. The whole conceptually, I'm 100 % by, I don't play around with little kids.

Shannon (24:07.003)
Mm.

James (24:12.846)
I'm with all of y'all. Ain't nobody gonna play around with Come on now. We're not gonna play around with these kids.

Shun (24:14.766)
No, but what I'm saying to you, maybe Shannon, why I thought it was okay then, see, my dynamic was, know, my mother, I didn't grow up in a good dynamic. So I was raising seven kids at the age of nine, seven. And I didn't have the mother that I was, because guess what? It was taught that that was my job. And I would rather watch my siblings than have them roaming up and down the street doing any and everything. So I was raising kids from seven, eight, nine years old.

Shannon (24:16.249)
Yeah, yeah.

James Harris (24:16.316)
.

Shannon (24:24.834)
yeah, yeah.

Shun (24:40.762)
You know what I'm saying? And not the great situation that you have with air conditioning, and refrigerated for the food, and know, nice clothes. No, no, no. We didn't have all that, baby. You figured it out. So yeah, I guess it was just history repeating itself. You know what I mean?

Shannon (24:48.933)
Right, right.

James (24:53.026)
Bye bye. Bye, see you.

Yeah, but we can't pass down our unfavorable experiences onto our kids.

Shannon (24:57.445)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (25:00.1)
No, I didn't see it as an unfavorable condition. I saw it as making a good person out of her, because I'm the mother I am, because I raised those kids the way that I did.

James (25:10.376)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

James Harris (25:13.255)
you

Shannon (25:18.496)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, I get that.

Shun (25:19.12)
But I'm gonna be honest with you, yeah, I wasn't forced. That was my choice because I didn't want anyone else watching them or them being unwatched. So I felt an obligation to watch my kids, because my mother was nowhere around. So I made the choice. So if my mother is telling me, I don't wanna pay three, $400 a week in daycare, watch your brother, I pay you to watch your brother. And then you're not in the streets getting in trouble all day long. So I kinda saw the means to an end and she was just like, hell no, I'd rather go get out in the streets where baby have at it.

James (25:31.726)
Well, that's what I'm saying.

Shun (25:46.748)
But ask her right now what that ask her right now. I'm Jim. I'm gonna get on the phone next time. I asked her right now what that choice did for

Shannon (25:48.847)
Mm-hmm.

James Harris (25:54.574)
Hey, but you you know, but you did better than me because she would have been watching them for free

Shun (25:59.932)
But that's my thing though. So here's you understand what I'm saying? That's my thing I offer because I know kids need money in their pocket. You won't work I'm offering you income and you know a safe place to stay and food every day and you're helping your little you're helping your mama with your little brother I mean, that's how I saw it

James (26:01.422)
You

James Harris (26:10.373)
Hmm.

James Harris (26:17.51)
It would have been free for me and it probably would pushed on out the nest a little earlier than it took.

Shun (26:22.876)
Well, she did end up going and she's a good, she's a great kid now. Tough love.

James (26:27.01)
And I think.

James (26:33.098)
And again, I look at the quality of what I'm asking, right? So the way you described her, no, I don't want you watching, nothing of mine that I give a damn about. No.

James Harris (26:46.342)
You

Shun (26:48.87)
that would teach her responsibility you know what I mean? It's a little it's a little I think Frank was maybe three four at a time it teaches you responsibility you know I just told you Jimmy I trusted her because I was raising four or five at nine finding school clothes doing their homework all cooking dinner the whole the whole night

James (26:50.423)
No.

James (27:07.276)
Hey, we just went over it. We just went over it. Either they're exactly like you or they're complete opposite. And you gotta respect them both.

Shannon (27:07.875)
Yeah, but I think, think, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, but like you said, Shun, uh-huh. And like you said, Shun, you, you didn't mind doing it. You weren't forced to do it. Yeah, but you were forcing her to do it. And I think that's where Jimmy's coming from. You're forcing her to do something. So how do you know? Well, I mean, you know, hey, ultimately, was ultimately.

Shun (27:18.032)
I did not.

Shun (27:23.524)
Not forcing I gave her a choice. I gave her a choice And so so forcing her

James (27:29.198)
Well, do you want to get knocked out in the first round or wait 15 rounds? You're gonna get knocked out. There ain't no option. That's the dilemma.

Shun (27:31.63)
Yeah Yeah forcing Forcing you means you have to do this. I'm gonna make you sit here and watch this kid I'm gonna make you do this I'm gonna say this is the way you get to stay in my house and not work She chose the letter. So it's her choice. Yeah, it's all to madam Yeah, cuz laying up for free wasn't it so all to whatever but that ain't it right there

Shannon (27:42.021)
Well, it-

Shannon (27:45.805)
Yeah, ultimatum. Okay, okay.

James (27:52.97)
I agree with that. Believe me, I do agree with you. Conceptually, I agree with the whole premise. I just wish...

Shannon (27:57.508)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (28:00.208)
But I get what you're saying though. So in your so in your opinion was I get the heck on to ain't watching no kid in the good That's like I said Opinions are great because no like I said Jimmy he hated it He did not like it the other two kids cry like I had to go out in the street and ran over You know, she gotta go She got to get the hell on and she was just fine and right now she's fine So

Shannon (28:07.619)
Right, right, right.

Shun (28:24.536)
Is it anything either anybody else want to bring up? know to the topic before we wrap up because I think this is half Shannon This has been so healthy because we need we need a variation of opinions. This is so y'all got to come back I don't even care if y'all come back together, but y'all got to come back because we never have male opinions And jim, cannot believe you went against me. So you probably won't be back. But Unless shannon called you

Shannon (28:33.335)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

James (28:40.13)
You

Shannon (28:40.398)
That's right.

James (28:46.085)
Hahaha!

Shun (28:49.084)
Cuz miss many don't burn no chicken Shun ain't wrong. Okay No, I get it

James (28:53.39)
I didn't say he was wrong. I, I, listen, I agree with you conceptually. I said that.

Shun (29:00.28)
I get it. I get it. But at least my least Harris agrees with me. Like you gotta do something man, but I get it. The concept you agree with the terms was a no go. Cool with that.

Shannon (29:01.95)
Yeah. Yeah.

James (29:06.638)
You

James (29:11.884)
And he don't even agree with, don't, don't, James don't necessarily agree with your totality of your agreement. He wasn't even gonna pay up.

Shun (29:17.882)
James He watched to me I was out for money

James Harris (29:20.663)
Yes. No, I'm not going to pay my child to watch one of my other kids.

Shannon (29:20.965)
He wouldn't go pay him.

Shun (29:26.064)
While you work and make money to take care of they behinds who ain't working right here. Come on. That was a good deal, man Can I say something guys before we wrap up I promise you I promise y'all don't I hope she don't listen to this episode and I promise her I hope her siblings don't either I still I still to this day regret it though that broke my heart worse than anything in this whole world And if I had to do it again, I would have probably went about it another way But you know what being a parent is trial and error

James Harris (29:31.958)
Right.

Shun (29:55.258)
We don't always have the answers. But guess what? She, trust me, she don't ever forget it. And that little Negro spend more money than the law allows. She gets the most out of me because she guilt strip me every chance she get and I fall for it. But hey, it is what it is. So do anyone have anything else before we go to the wrap up?

Shannon (29:57.593)
yeah. Nope.

Shannon (30:05.285)
Hehehehehe

James (30:15.02)
like it. Ultimately, I like it. There's other ways to get to the four than just two plus two. And you figured out eight divided by two will get you there too. So it's all right.

Shun (30:22.428)
I

Shannon (30:23.739)
That's right. That's right.

Shun (30:26.281)
What about you James? got anything else before we wrap up?

James (30:31.239)
you

James Harris (30:31.313)
Yeah, I just want to say because I know some of this is going on people that I know

But to the listening audience, if there's somebody that's got a child or a parent that you're not speaking to, you need to work things out. You need to have a conversation, because tomorrow is not promised.

Shun (30:45.595)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (30:49.916)
Show you rights, just like Brian Midnight, son. I think he was 20s or 30s. He died of cancer and it's no fixing it now, you know what I mean? What about you, baby, mama? You got anything else before we wrap up?

Shannon (30:51.286)
Amen.

Shannon (30:58.234)
Wow.

Shannon (31:04.527)
No, nothing else.

Shun (31:05.308)
All right, well, we'll wrap up tonight's topic of just and unjust with this. At no point in time is it ever okay to completely check out on your kids, no matter what the parents might be going through. And as I mentioned that situation just now with Brian McKnight, the reference, no one except the parties closest to those, you your story knows how deep it goes. But to me, it can never be that deep to always stay away from mine.

Now there might be a situation like Jimmy mentioned where the other parent might be toxic or using the kids as a weapon. They may be disrespectful. It may be some violence involved, you know, it be just some downright ratchetness because I know a few of them too. Okay. Again, if it's something more serious to the point of abuse or whatever, then you stay away, but you find a family member or like Harris mentioned, find some legal means to make sure that you have

access to your child and take care of your responsibilities because children deserve their parents and they deserve to be cared for and they can't care for themselves like Shannon mentioned at younger ages but us real hardcore parents on this panel tonight you know that we know that no matter how old your child may be we're going to always be there and I know that about each and every one of us so we just like we find everything you know we find ways to do everything we else we I'm sorry

We find ways to do everything else we want to. In this world, you can find a way to be a parent to your child. And that's my wrap up for tonight.

Shannon (32:35.628)
All right. Thank you. Thank you, Shun. All right. And here we go now to our sound off.

Shun (32:44.014)
All right, we've come to our sound off segment and this is where we announce a song related to tonight's topic while also hoping to add to your musical playlist. We use songs from all categories and genres and tonight's song is Family Affair by Sly and the Family Stone. Now that's an old hit now. So you young people might not know what it is, but I know both of you old men know what it is, because I know what it is. We old folks know what it is.

Shannon (33:03.227)
Bye.

Shannon (33:10.137)
Hahaha

James Harris (33:11.126)
Hahaha.

Shun (33:12.3)
If you're young or old we want you to head on over to youtube you have the playlist pop on Family affair by a slide in the family stone and dance in your kitchen y'all got our permission to do so and shanon if they want to add to our musical list, where can they do it at?

Shannon (33:26.137)
Yeah, we just lost life. So glad you used this as a reference.

Shun (33:32.796)
Absolutely, that's my contribution honey, you know, we we feels the music world, honey

Shannon (33:41.251)
Yeah, so if we if you all want to. Send feedback or any comments. We we welcome it always so send that to wifey. And baby mama at gmail.com once again that's wifey and baby mama at gmail.com. We look forward to your comments. Any information you want.

for songs or for the sound off segment, please send them our way.

All right, and that is our show for tonight. We thank you all for coming and listening in.

Shun (34:24.262)
Thank you, James and James, for joining us. It has been a wonderful segment.

James (34:30.316)
My pleasure.

Shun (34:31.142)
All right, we love you all, goodbye.

James Harris (34:31.394)
Thank you for having us.