Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:36.47)
Hey, I'm Sean.

Shannon (00:37.99)
Hi and I'm CNN.

Shun (00:39.742)
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Welcome back to Thursday night family. You know we love you guys and appreciate each and every one of you around the globe that join us each and every Thursday or whatever day you're listening in. I have a coworker, Shannon, that said, I'm really busy on Thursdays at 7.30, but I have Wifey and Baby Mama in my podcast rotation and I catch you guys like later in the night. And sometimes I doze and I wake up and.

Shannon (00:48.187)
Yes.

Shun (01:08.502)
to the sound of your voices. So y'all know this big mouth can wake anybody up. So I was honored. So now Leah, if you're listening, just know you are my new favorite coworker and audience. Y'all are favorite too. We appreciate all your dedication. And we got enough love to go around at Wifey and Baby Mama. And because we love you so much and we know y'all like guests just as much as we do, we've decided to have Jason back one more time before season two.

Shannon (01:10.369)
Hehehehehehe

Shannon (01:21.021)
Aww.

Shannon (01:28.259)
Yes.

Shannon (01:36.994)
All right. Thank you, Jason.

Shun (01:38.118)
ends. So welcome back Jason and just in case you weren't listening and tuned in on last week Jason why don't you quickly give the peeps a shout out.

cannon (01:47.474)
What's going on everybody? Thanks for having me back guys. It's always a pleasure. Yeah, Jason. Everybody calls me J. Cannon, that's it.

Shun (01:56.46)
I'm sorry.

Shannon (01:58.048)
Welcome back.

cannon (01:59.786)
Thank you, thank you.

Shun (01:59.922)
Now listen, Jason, in no way does you being here tonight exclude your promise of appearing on season three. So when we come back, just know today is just a bonus guy. So he'll still be back. As we've never had the same guests, you know, back to back Shannon, this is like really good, right? And oh God, we're honored, Jason. And so since the night is gonna be good, we gonna start to make it better. Tonight's topic is, is it still on me?

Shannon (02:07.462)
I'm going to go to bed.

Shannon (02:15.394)
Right, yes it is. Yeah

cannon (02:17.978)
I feel honored. I feel honored. I feel very honored.

Shun (02:29.75)
So let's get into it. Tonight, we're going to discuss how much is too much for step parents, meaning do they sometimes feel shafted by taking care of a child or when the biological parent is living their best life? While the parents that's married to the mom or dad feels pressured by their spouse to do for the child. But that same pressure is not being applied to the real parent. Have you guys experienced that? Or

Do step parents even want to be bothered, you know, with the biological parent being around? If they're not already making an honest effort to be, you know, in the child's life, then you have those parents that don't want to be with the biological parents of the child. They have found love on another two-way street, okay? But they want the parent that has left the home to still take care of the home. And notice I said home, not children. It's no law that says we can't decide you're not my person, right?

But unfortunately, you know, we can't decide that about our kids. But people, if you choose to go fall head over heels, you know, for a bum, a loaf, you know, whatever, freeloader, whatever they call them these days, you can't expect that other partner that you left to sponsor, to sponsor your finances, you know, just because you have children together. So yeah, you know, we're going to hit this topic from a few different angles tonight, but in no particular order. So yeah, just jump in and just jump in. And of course, Jason, though, I will direct the first question to you. All right.

Shannon (03:35.196)
Hehehehehehe

cannon (03:53.981)
Alright.

Shun (03:55.898)
Are things smooth with the parents in your blend? And by smooth, it doesn't have to be Sean and Shannon's move. Because again, we stated numerous times on this show, right, Shannon? We recognize our situation is more uncommon, right? We know, we know. Every blended family can't be or isn't perfect, right? We're just, and we're not perfect by any means. We're just saying we get along. And we're, you know, we're just fortunate. But, and I was, we were grown enough though.

Shannon (04:06.011)
Yep.

Shannon (04:09.933)
Right.

Shannon (04:15.89)
brow. Yeah, I'm right.

Shun (04:24.866)
So that's where it all starts. We were grown enough, Shannon, in the beginning to make that decision for ourselves. So Jason, how do you and your wife blend with the other biological parents in your situation? Like, what y'all blend looking like, Jason?

Shannon (04:27.698)
Mm hmm. Yeah.

cannon (04:34.774)
Um, so I would say from, from her side, um, you know, once, once we, once we both made the commitment and I made the commitment to, you know, be there for, um, you know, for her and the kids, um, she was very independent. You know what I mean? So, um, you know, the prior to us getting together, you know, she was a single mother and I was a single father. And when I say single, I mean by unmarried. Um.

from her side, it was basically, okay, I'm gonna take this on. And it's been pretty much smooth sailing since a few bumps in the road. But as a person who, as a man who steps up in a single, in a blended family, I take on all the responsibilities as a father. I don't pressure her, be like, you need to go.

Shun (05:24.639)
Okay.

cannon (05:30.534)
and do this to him and that. No, that's not what it's about because it causes more confusion and stress than anything. On my side with my children, my son primarily, in the beginning, there was a lot of turmoil. And of course, everybody knows the baby mama drama.

Shun (05:36.56)
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

cannon (05:59.718)
you know, that people have or just unmarried parent drama period. So I can't just necessarily say baby mama, but there was a lot of turmoil. Now, um, they communicate, we communicate great. They've never had any problems. Um, but we are all three of us. We even have a group chat. So we communicate, uh, excellently when it comes down to, um, our son, you know, um, Jordan, that was just like.

That was a gift from God. Her mom was excellent. You know what I mean? And I never had to deal with anything from Jordan's mom other than her telling me, pull up your bootstraps and get moving. You know what I mean? Because I wasn't the best by any means, but she was a great mom. And Sean, that family is gonna take care of anybody and anything. So I-

Shun (06:30.859)
Oh absolutely.

Shannon (06:31.063)
Yeah.

Shun (06:42.35)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shannon (06:42.834)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Shun (06:57.806)
Especially the children honey. I tell you it's If anybody's gonna suffer in that family won't be the children honey. They take care of the babies

cannon (06:59.542)
especially, you know, especially.

Shannon (06:59.762)
Especially, yes. That's right. That's right.

cannon (07:04.546)
It will not, you know, but I thank God, I thank God for, you know, for that family every single day, you know what I mean? But, you know, it definitely is hard when more can be done. And you know what it is, the children are the ones who get the bat into the stick, you know? And me growing up in a single family home, you know, I know my mom did the best that she could, but we lacked as...

Shun (07:23.572)
Exactly.

cannon (07:33.758)
children and the thing about it is, you know, and like we talked about last week, it's trying to break those generational curses. So I'm glad that I can be of a curse breaker with the children who are not biologically mine, you know, to show them something of a father figure and also be there for, you know, my children later in life or early in life.

Shun (07:40.002)
Yes.

Shun (07:56.686)
That's awesome. And I like what you said when you said sometimes it creates, you know, call the other person. It's easier to just leave them out. Like in my case, I remember when my daughter was in high school and, you know, for example, I was like, let me call such and such because, you know, a prom dozer do next week. And my husband said, call him for what? You know, I got it. And I was like, okay, big daddy, that's what I'm talking about. But that incident didn't make that particular parent good or bad. It's just more likely than not, we know he's not gonna do it.

Shannon (08:18.14)
Hehehe

Shun (08:24.394)
You know what I'm saying? And my husband knows that would send me into a rage and it would still be all on me. So whether I called him and he said no, or if I didn't call him and just took care of it, the scenario was it's more than likely gonna be on you so why even involve him? You know what I'm saying? And my husband's the type of man is if it's on you, then it's on us. So, and I adore him for that, you know? And also something we discussed last week was every house should be ran according to whatever rules that husband and wife set as a standard.

cannon (08:39.407)
Right.

cannon (08:43.711)
Right, right.

Shun (08:53.258)
It doesn't mean my way is good. It doesn't mean Jason, your way's better. It doesn't mean whatever's right. For years, like you said, Jason, people would tell me, oh, put the biological father on child support. Go down to the man. And I politely told them the man or the government was not in the room when I laid down and got pregnant. And they won't be deciding if no grown ass man take care of his kid or not. You know what I'm saying? He drew his line in the sand a long time ago, and I drew mine. I live by the theory mama's baby.

cannon (09:15.218)
Right.

Shun (09:22.85)
that is me. You know, if you wanna do it, fine. If you don't, I got it. And when any of my kids fathering, and yes, I said any, because y'all know from the book, now I was outside a little bit. I was wilding for a while in my hay bales. But, you know, thank God for grace. But if any of them weren't there, whether it was voluntary or involuntary reasons that my children's father wasn't in life at whatever point in time, I made it happen, you know? And I'm just grateful that I'm now able to say, we make it happen as a husband and wife, you know?

Shannon (09:25.372)
Right.

Shannon (09:33.694)
Yeah.

cannon (09:33.785)
I'm sorry.

Shannon (09:47.374)
Yeah.

Shun (09:53.098)
Our motto on Wife and Baby Mom is if you start it wrong, or even if you're doing it wrong right now, you don't have to stay there. Like it's never a wrong time or too late to get it right in life. And I'm more than thankful, you know, that God has, you know, he's blessed my letter days to be what his words said it could be. And you know, and his plans for us are good, you know, they're always good. So just make up your mind that you're gonna walk in that.

Shannon (09:59.858)
That's right.

cannon (10:03.143)
right.

Shannon (10:07.738)
Yeah.

cannon (10:15.343)
and

Shannon (10:15.406)
Yeah, but when you bring up, I'm sorry Jason, jump in. But when you bring up Sean, the wife and the husband, the rules that they set at their house, this is how they're gonna operate in their home. I have to bring up my upbringing and my relationship with my stepmother and how the rules in the house,

cannon (10:17.991)
No, go ahead.

Shun (10:29.282)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (10:37.696)
Okay.

Shannon (10:43.89)
All everything went to, of course, her kids and not us. So yeah. And my dad being, you know, the man that he was, he was never going to challenge that because he wanted peace in his home, you know? So in those situations, that's the flip side. I know you said we're gonna go at this different angles, but that's the side I think when we're...

Shun (11:03.085)
Right.

Shannon (11:12.902)
talking to people too. We need to bring that out and say, as the bonus parent, you know, try to remember that you married someone with children and if he wants to take care of his children, applaud him for that instead of saying, don't take away from me and my kids, you know, as if or don't marry. Exactly.

Shun (11:25.218)
That's a fat

Shun (11:35.442)
Or don't marry a man with kids if you can't have that kind of as- You know what I'm saying? Because how the biological and step-parent treat the child has an effect. Like Jason said, it's gonna- and he's making sure that he's been the man that whether the kid's father choose to be there or not, I'm going to make sure they see a good example of what a father should be, whether it's a volunteer, involuntary reason the guy's not there. Or in your case-

Shannon (11:45.475)
That's right.

Shannon (11:53.16)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Shun (11:59.562)
whatever reason your father wasn't with your mom, it wasn't because your mom didn't want you, it was that your father married someone else. You know what I'm saying? So you gotta be very careful. And that's an excellent point to bring out. And let me tell you, it also affects the relationships that the parents have. Like Jason said, he, his wife, and his son's mom have a tech group chat. You know, that's good business. And that's what we're here to promote. It can be done. You know, like...

Shannon (12:04.847)
Yeah.

Shannon (12:15.8)
Oh yeah.

Shannon (12:23.06)
Mm-hmm, yeah.

Shun (12:26.798)
My exes, for instance, the one father that we don't call because he probably not gonna do it, when my husband sees him, he's gorgeous. Hey man, how you doing? You know, good to see you. But when he sees my other daughter father, like, they kick it. He pick him up from the airport, you know, when he comes here, he takes them to his hotel. They hungry, they laugh, they joke, because he's responding to the way that man takes care of his child. You get what I'm saying? My youngest daughter's father is an excellent father. My ex-husband is an excellent father. So my husband respects that.

Shannon (12:33.714)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Shannon (12:38.894)
Yeah.

Shannon (12:48.797)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Shun (12:56.33)
you know, so he treats him like a man. And if my ex-husband don't got it, my husband don't be like, well, why he didn't do it? Because he knows if he didn't do it, it's because he couldn't, and rarely is it that he can't, you know, but that other one, he's just out here in the wind, baby, living his best life. My husband don't get involved with the why won't you do this or how much is it I'll take care of it. And that affects even how the world portrays these people as family. Because my husband don't have to go around dogging them out, but your kids can see.

that here's my stepfather's parents bill of buying my shoes for prom or getting my hair done but my father ain't answering his phone. So you don't have to bad mouth that other parent. Life itself will let these kids know who you are. So parents remember that. You're not hurting that other parent if you're not participating. Step parents remember if you're treating those step kids bad, that's a reflection of who you are. Those kids are not responsible for that.

Shannon (13:33.382)
That's right.

cannon (13:49.298)
That's absolutely true. And, you know, with just to piggyback off that, you, you know, like I said, I've been both sides. I've been on both sides because I had my oldest daughter young, so, and like I always say, you know, we had a relationship, but I was just not ready. You know what I mean? But as I grew older, I had to, I had to mature. And it takes a, it takes a level of maturity to accept the fact that

you have children and you need to take care of your children. When my wife and I, when we got together, there was never any discussion about, well, why don't he do this? You know what I mean? Because at that time I grew up without a father, so I knew what needed to be done. You know what I mean? And I treat them just like I treat my, like I told you last week, if I hate one, I hate them all.

Shun (14:22.123)
So.

Shannon (14:32.827)
Hmm.

Shannon (14:46.738)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

cannon (14:46.766)
If I love one, I love them all. You know what I mean? There's no, there's no, there's no differentiating between any of them. You know, somebody asked me, how many kids do you got? I have five, you know? And if you have a question about it, it's really none of your business. Just know that they have a father. You know what I mean?

Shun (14:46.806)
Hehehehe

Shun (14:57.39)
Right.

Shun (15:02.478)
That's right. And that's how it should be. It's like when I come home and I'm slamming stuff or I'm washing the dishes real hard, water flying, when you know, Jimmy will ask, Hey, what's wrong with you? And I say, yo kids getting on my ding-dong nerves. And he won't say, wait, my two or the other two, the two in the middle, the oldest. I tell him, yo kids getting on my nerves. And it's no different because they're all just our kids.

cannon (15:14.727)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shannon (15:17.843)
Right, right, right.

cannon (15:22.835)
But in-

But you know what, Sean, and I say it with pride, I appreciate when my wife, my wife has allowed me to be their father. That's a great honor. You know what I mean? That is really a great honor. And I appreciate the fact that she accepts my two as her own. Her and Jordan have a great relationship. And that's great, you know what I mean? Because that's what I want. I grew up without a family, so.

Shun (15:37.183)
It is.

Shun (15:47.106)
That's awesome.

cannon (15:52.338)
The family atmosphere for me is great. And I appreciate it. You know what I mean? When she'd be like, oh, the kids this. I take honor in that. And I'm just like, wow, these are my kids. I never look at them as others. You know what I mean? But then also I, right. But I know the hardship that she went through with their father. So I never, when her and I discuss, we may discuss him.

Shun (16:06.108)
that one. Uh huh. Yeah. But hers.

cannon (16:21.222)
We don't do it in front of the kids. And I always make sure I talk to them about their father. Like, hey, have you called your dad? You know, how's he doing? You know what I mean? Because we, right. Because you know what, even as kids, we don't see, I blame my mother for my father not being around when I was younger. But as I got older, I realized it wasn't her. It was him. You know what I mean? And you have to let kids grow to see who their biological parent really is.

Shannon (16:23.57)
Right, right.

Shun (16:27.762)
Yes, yes, just the grown man.

Shannon (16:31.516)
Yeah.

Shun (16:41.686)
right. It's his choice.

Shun (16:49.526)
Really, absolutely. And I say that, I think Shanna, we've said that numerous times on this show, you don't have to bad mouth those parents. Those kids will get to an age when they, I remember Shanna, I told you how my oldest daughter, I mean my older daughter, the two that are not my husband's, she said, mom, you know, my dad really is not a good dad, mom, like, why are you nice to him? I said, because you had to get old enough to know that. It wasn't my place to tell you that, sweetheart. She said, mom, you do everything for me. And I said, baby, that's what I'm, mama's baby, daddy's baby. Any real mother?

cannon (16:50.811)
You know what I mean, you can.

Shannon (16:53.715)
Mm-hmm, we have.

cannon (16:54.462)
You can't force them. Get in there.

Shannon (16:58.19)
Yeah.

Shannon (17:02.962)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (17:08.335)
Mmm.

cannon (17:10.268)
Yeah.

Shannon (17:11.654)
Yeah.

Shannon (17:17.583)
Hehehehehehe

cannon (17:17.81)
But you know what? But I'll say this.

Shun (17:19.05)
Whether you show up in that baby, we gonna take care of it.

cannon (17:22.598)
Right. But I'll say this is that you have to always encourage and foster love with that other parent with the child. You always have to because you know what? You never.

Shannon (17:30.042)
Yeah, yeah.

Shun (17:30.07)
That's right. You can foster it in, baby, but when they get old enough to see and feel, you can foster all you want to. It speaks for itself. But as parents, we foster it in. We just show the love. We just encourage them, like you said, Jason, hey, have you called your dad? But I'm gonna tell you something. The older they get, the wiser they get, too. That's just not a saying, it's true. And if you want your kids to love and value, then we can foster it in how we want to, Jason, but you still have to be a good person.

cannon (17:36.71)
Right, right, but in this view.

Shannon (17:38.194)
Oh yeah. Yeah.

cannon (17:41.91)
Right, right.

Shannon (17:42.19)
Right, right.

cannon (17:45.523)
Yeah, you know.

cannon (17:50.826)
Right? But we have to.

Shannon (17:51.675)
Oh yeah.

cannon (17:57.754)
Right, but we always have to remember what the Bible says is honor your mother and your father. And we can't, because we may feel a certain way, we always have to make sure that we are teaching our children no matter how old they get, is that they have to honor, we have to honor our mother and father so that our days may be long. And no matter what my dad did or did not do for the 42 years, because he just passed in March of this year, no matter how.

Shun (18:14.25)
Right. That's right.

Shun (18:24.054)
Mm-hmm.

cannon (18:26.062)
much he was not there. I took care of him the last three years of his life. And everybody said, well, why are you taking care of him? He never did anything for you. You know, he was never there. And I said, because I want my days to be long. I want my kids to understand that, you know, you have to love your parents. You know what I mean? And no matter how bad I feel, I mean, people, Sean, you wouldn't believe people would be like, why are you doing this? It wasn't, I wasn't doing it for people. I was doing it for myself. And I was doing it because that's what the Bible said.

Shun (18:30.478)
That's amazing.

Shun (18:49.134)
Oh I know!

Shannon (18:50.721)
Mm-hmm.

cannon (18:55.41)
that I needed to do. And I always tell, yeah, and I always tell, I always tell my kids, I say, you know what? Love your, no matter what happens, love your father, because you know what, you only get one. And they go through stuff just like we go through stuff. And I always tell them, you know.

Shun (18:56.14)
that we're supposed to do.

Shun (19:06.018)
That's it.

Shannon (19:06.591)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (19:10.026)
And that's what I told my daughter. And believe it or not, she's his fourth child. But you know what I told her? She's like, mom, it's not like I'm his first kid. Just because you had a baby don't make you a father. He still has not learned. Maybe no one has never shown him how to be a father. So she always said, I make excuses, I don't. And my other daughter would say, people would be like, you won't put him on child support. Why? Because you still love him, you still want him.

Shannon (19:23.43)
That's right.

cannon (19:23.516)
Right.

cannon (19:27.966)
All right.

Shannon (19:32.522)
Hehehe

Shun (19:35.794)
I said no, because he may not even know what he's doing. And I can't focus on making him being a man. I need all that strength to make me to be the best mom that I could be. And that's it. And that's how that would. But I'm gonna say this real quick too. I'm sorry, Shani, you was gonna wait for your comment here? No, I was gonna say this, Jason, and I was gonna pivot right to this video I want to talk about real quick. But Jason, first of all, not only is that honorable, like you said, and like we said, that you teach kids to love their parents no matter how good or bad they may be. Jason, I can guarantee you as a woman.

Shannon (19:37.126)
now.

cannon (19:39.047)
Right.

Shannon (19:44.018)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

cannon (19:44.338)
Absolutely.

Shannon (19:49.986)
Oh no, go ahead, go ahead.

Shun (20:05.494)
what that means to your wife, the way you take care of her kids. I'm sure she tells you, because I know your wife's a sweetheart, and I'm sure she expresses that. But I don't know if my husband ever knew. I think I may have told him at night, but one day in church, and we were not even remarried at this point, a guy just asked, you know, Jim, how you doing? And Frank was running around, and he's like, oh, Jim, he's a handful. He says, Jim, how many kids you got? He said, I have five. I have two sons, and I have three daughters. Like he said it without blinking. And we were not even married. And I'm like, wow.

Shannon (20:26.028)
He he.

cannon (20:30.43)
Yeah.

Shun (20:33.79)
And I'm telling you, it's a few points in my life when I just really saw the man he was. And I'm telling you, every time it take me to a different level of love for him. You know what I mean? Because you have your physical love, you have all that. But when you reach those kinds of realms, it just takes a woman to a different place to hear him say, I have two sons and I have three daughters. He never once said, you know, I have two, but these are my wife's kids. You know, I just really love him for that. And I just think that.

Shannon (20:41.135)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shannon (20:51.73)
All right.

cannon (20:55.434)
Yeah.

Shannon (20:55.872)
Mm-hmm.

cannon (20:59.807)
It creates a division in a family that, you know, I would say that even prior to us getting married, because no matter what, even when we separated for a little bit prior to us getting married, and those were still my kids, like I would go pick them up, you know, me and her, we're going through our stuff, but the thing about it, it creates division that's already there. There's an obvious line that's there because they're not, right, right. So why even speak there? Right.

Shun (21:21.674)
You are not the real father. You're not the biological dad. I mean, that's just an undisputable fact, right?

Shannon (21:23.53)
Yeah, yeah, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

cannon (21:27.658)
So why speak it? You know what I mean? If you really want a family, there's no F-A-M-I-L. Why? There's a whole family. And I don't like the vision. That bothers me when I hear people say, oh, those are hers and these are mine. But y'all married? No.

Shun (21:29.601)
right.

Shannon (21:39.462)
Yeah.

Shun (21:43.81)
That's right.

Shannon (21:46.618)
Yeah, now the only thing I can say, you know, of course I have to bring in my upbringing again because I did not experience in a marriage or relationship blended families because Jay was grown, you know, when I met my husband and my husband's children are grown. But growing up, I always had an issue with calling my stepfather, father or dad. And I think we touched on this on one.

Shun (21:56.354)
the blue.

Shun (22:01.554)
Right. That's right.

Shannon (22:15.378)
show before too, mainly because I was daddy's girl, you know, and I did not want to give someone else that title or, you know, call him dad or whatever. I was forced to, I had to do it. And it's not that I didn't love him. He was a great stepfather, great stepfather. You know, I give him a lot of credit for, you know, a lot of my success in learning. He was always

Shun (22:20.502)
Right.

Shannon (22:42.982)
big on teaching us how to use our mind in critical thinking and strategizing and things like that my father would have never been able to do. So in situations where the biological father is very, very present and the stepfather wants to be present.

you know, how do people handle those types of conflicts or if there is conflict, there might not be. But I can see or I can, you know, can imagine there might be a little bit of power struggle at times in that situation. So what do you think, Jason, on that?

cannon (23:30.303)
For me, it's never been an issue because they call me Jason. And that's perfectly fine. The one thing that I always told him is I am not here to replace your father. I'm here to stand in his place when you need him the most. And if that's on a daily basis, if that's on an occasional basis, and like I said, for the last 12 years, it's been on a, 12, 13 years, it's been on a daily basis. And

I've always told them that I've never forced them, hey, call me Pop or no, like even me and my wife, we talked about it. She was like, do you wish you had a nickname? I was like, yeah, but the most important part of the whole thing is a relationship. Like they call me Jason and my daughter, she'll be like Jace and she knows I hate that name. But it just, it's always been Jason, but I don't feel anything about, I don't wanna say a title, but a name.

Shannon (24:03.278)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (24:11.846)
All right.

Shannon (24:17.414)
Hehehe

cannon (24:25.85)
I feel more so about the relationship that we have. You know what I mean? So I don't think anyone should be forced to call anybody father or a name that they don't feel comfortable because I think that's the parents showing insecurity about them and what they wanna hide instead of thinking about how the child feels. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Shannon (24:30.991)
Yeah.

cannon (24:55.73)
to force someone to call somebody a name that they don't like. No, no, that, that creates a whole lot of problems and they'll resent that parent. They will resent that parent.

Shun (25:01.782)
Yeah, I never believed in that. And I think that should be a choice on the children. You know what I mean? I mean, you just said from the beginning, you've loved them. They were very young when you met them, and they call you Jason, and that's fine. I mean, that's fine. My kids, on the other hand, were a little older when I remarried my husband, and they call him Dad, because that's what they choose to call him, you know? So I'm not going to be, or if they call him Jim, I wouldn't be like, don't call him that. And some days, you know, they'll be talking, and they'll say,

Shannon (25:02.606)
I agree.

cannon (25:09.346)
Right.

Shun (25:31.37)
Mom, could you tell Jimmy? I don't like nope. That's your father You know, I don't do that But 90% of the time they go it can dad pick me up or is that home or what's what they're doing? Or if they call and say mom Jimmy off work yet. It's just I call it a Freudian slip But I know that they present to him as dad. I know that they love him as dad and that's enough for me You know, I'm not gonna force him to do anything But um, I think Shannon that was really good point though Really good point. You can't force them and I don't think you should

Shannon (25:56.914)
Yeah, you can't. Right, right.

Shun (26:00.97)
All right, so real quick guys, I know we got to get to the rent line and stuff. And I know we're almost out of time, but I just want to ask both of you. Did you guys see that video going around on social media? Um, and if not, I'll give you guys a brief recap. You may, you may like, yeah, I saw that once you're here at our audience. If you've never saw it, it was a guy. He was, he was very upset. You know, he's renting, he was raving. I'm ready. He's probably been with the girl. I guess the girl's mom says she was a little girl from what I'm here. Like he brought her a first car, paid college and was now about to pay for her wedding, right?

And then she said, I want my real father to walk me down the aisle. And he was going, I mean, he was saying some words I'm not gonna say, it's Christian show, family show. But, baby, I think it would have been a misunderstanding. Like that was my first thought, right? But then I'm like, wait, we don't have all the facts. Maybe her father was too poor to do all those things, right? Maybe he was disabled, or maybe he was just a jerk who was mad at the mother, she didn't want him anymore. But he and the daughter still had a good relationship, and the stepfather just...

Shannon (26:39.149)
Hehehehe

Shannon (26:43.744)
No.

Shun (26:59.186)
chose to do all these things Jason like you say you've done and like my husband do it doesn't matter what the other five is doing he chooses to do if it needs it there but I think to the very least whatever the situation was she could have said you can both walk me down how do you guys feel about I don't think it was right just to ask the step father out no matter what the background was what do you guys feel about that

cannon (27:20.362)
Go ahead, Shannon.

Shannon (27:22.826)
Well, I'm definitely the, I don't know if I say the wrong one to ask because you already know I'm daddy's girl. And like I just said, my stepfather did a lot for me, both my stepfathers, I actually had two. One was later on, of course, I was a lot older, but he was still there for me for everything, both of them. However, there was nobody on the face of the earth better than my dad. So I...

Shun (27:22.983)
Just let me think about it.

Shannon (27:50.322)
still would have chosen my dad to walk me down the aisle, even though I didn't get two pennies from him. That just would have been my choice. Yeah, yeah.

Shun (27:58.678)
But you had that love and that was, and you know, Shannon, so now I think we'll have three sides to this because now Jason will have his. So Shannon, that was your side. I'm gonna go totally opposite and say, I would have had both of mine because of the love, my stepfather, I was a daddy's girl. I loved the ground my father walked on, but my stepfather, he took care of me. He put me to bed at night. He put band-aids on my boo boo. He bought my, you know, feminine products. There was no way I could have allowed all that to happen or, you know.

Shannon (28:06.361)
Yeah.

Shannon (28:18.595)
Yeah.

Shannon (28:24.071)
Yeah.

Shun (28:27.71)
And then it was time for me to get married and say, okay, stepdad, my dad's flying into town to walk. I wouldn't have had to hire. So I would have definitely been the girl with the two arms if I didn't get married inside a federal facility the first time, but go ahead. Okay, Jason, what's...

Shannon (28:42.004)
Yeah, but it would have hurt my dad, I guess, too. You have to look at the, see, that's the difference. Yeah, yeah, so.

Shun (28:44.874)
It wouldn't hurt my father's feeling at all because my father respected what my father did for me. My father respected what my stepfather, even though my father was a big financial. And I think that's the difference, Shanna. Maybe your father felt like, I don't have a whole lot of money, but I give you all the love in the world. And I think that's, you know, and you said that in one of our shows. My father was like, I ain't coming up to get by, you know, pads, I'm not about to take you to prom, but how much you need to get there? So if somebody else is gonna walk with you, that's fine by me. You get what I'm saying?

Shannon (28:53.941)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (28:59.65)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (29:09.758)
Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

Shun (29:14.21)
So I guess it just depends. So Jason, what's your cuddle?

cannon (29:17.674)
So this is different, this is, they're different, different. I saw the video, needed a whole lot more background on it. Needed a whole lot more, cause they're, like you said, there's so many different aspects of angles that could have taken place. If my daughter had said, I want my dad to walk me down, would I be hurt? Yes. But as you guys have always said, fathers hold a special place in their daughter's hearts. I think that her-

Shun (29:24.043)
Right, right.

Shannon (29:24.346)
Yeah.

Shun (29:43.071)
Mm-hmm.

cannon (29:46.522)
her mother would probably talk some sense into her. But just from the decision that she would make, I would talk to her and it wouldn't be a force type thing. I would be hurt, but I would understand. You know what I mean? I definitely would understand. I wouldn't be angry, but as a man, I'd probably be like, you know, I've been rocking with you since.

Shun (29:48.75)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe he

Shannon (29:49.575)
Hehehe

Shun (30:12.586)
Hehehe

cannon (30:13.614)
And this, you know what I mean? It's like that one Bill Cosby joke, you know, where he said that we, we take the kids to football practice, stand in the rain, go through all the games and they make it to the NFL, they score their first touchdown. And first thing they'd be like is hi mom, like, yo, what happened to us? Um, but I think it's definitely different circumstances. Like you said, it could have been financial. It could have been anything that's going on, but that, that is ultimately the daughter's decision and hopefully she's making the right decision for her.

Shun (30:27.214)
I'm sorry.

Shun (30:43.882)
Cool. All right. So see we got three different sides of that and to see that's why it's good to have a guess Shannon We can break that thing down but even because most on most things Shannon you and I like oh, yeah We agree see even on this we disagreed. So this is great. So we got three sides of this one. All right so if you guys um Anything else that we can wrap it up move on to the red line

Shannon (30:49.67)
Oh yeah.

Shannon (30:54.95)
Right. Yeah.

cannon (31:05.318)
Nope, let me go.

Shannon (31:05.732)
I think we can.

Shun (31:06.662)
Alright, so we're gonna wrap up this episode by saying parents, you know, one of the great points Jason pointed out I want to pick up on is He just picked up it didn't matter what the other father was doing Shannon a great point that you brought up brought in was saying like Don't force it. Let it happen. Another point I think we all mentioned was the kids eventually they'll figure out who the parents are Right by biological or step time will tell everything all we can do everyday people is just be our best and the most important thing

The most important thing I want to leave you guys with tonight is what Shannon said. If you are a stepparent, don't in any way make those kids feel like they are steppe. They are second best. All children are brought into this world, you know, without a care, without a choice. As adults, it's our job to make them feel special and wanted, whether you're biological or a steppe. So please be mindful. And if you don't have that kind of love, you know, don't marry people with kids.

All right, we can move on to our red line.

Shannon (32:07.006)
Okay, onto the red line.

Shun (32:11.262)
All right, tonight's red line topic is parenting without pride. Parents, we've said many times tonight, children don't ask to come into this world. I just said that in the wrap up. We make those choices and no matter what comes in May, when you have a child, your life is no longer just about you. So if the other parent chooses to opt out on their duties, do your best to see to it that the child doesn't feel the stink of it. And if you happen to be a single parent,

Utilize all the resources out here, you know lean on family if you need to at times I did often in my younger years my first child But whatever we have to do just know it is our duty to provide for our children the best we can and I can honestly Tell you all as a single mom it got really rough at times, but you know, but God and he always made a way So if you find yourself at odds with the other parent whether it's biological or step And you want to drag them through the mud or badmouth them to the child don't ask yourself. What would Jesus do?

Keep being the best parent you can be. I used to tell my one daughter's father all the time, you will have to explain to God why you didn't do your part, but I will always provide. Even if that means me doing without. And if you don't feel the same way, people, don't bring children into this world. And that's my Red Thawing Topic for tonight.

Shannon (33:28.81)
Amen. Awesome. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Sean. Now you want to tell them about the remaining season or.

cannon (33:30.736)
Amen.

Shun (33:41.442)
Yes, yes, I'll quickly mention, I forgot to say this guys in the intro. Please get your November submissions in. You have five days, five days from tonight to get them in. As the holiday season is wrapping up and we are going to wrap up our final episode and you know we've been promoting our wife and baby mama giveaway. So next season when we come back we'll have to announce December's winner. But for November we're going to announce that in next week's episode. So you guys have five days.

Shannon (33:45.458)
Hehehe

Shun (34:10.358)
to get in your red line, okay? Because we won't run it on the third Thursday. It'll be the second Thursday of November, of course, because we have the five Thursdays. It's holiday season and we want to take a break and give you guys time to love on your family. And we want to love on our families and we want to meet back fresh after the holidays. So for November, send your submissions to wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. That's wifeyandbabymama at gmail.com. Make sure it's a thankful no-no. And for December, we want like a heartfelt no-no.

Shannon (34:11.296)
Hehehe

Shun (34:39.298)
We won't run back through the whole details. You gotta go back and check the Wife and Baby Momma page for the details of it. But we do wanna give you time to get them in as we're gonna wrap up one week early and get it out of the way. So the third Thursday for November, that red line will be read on next Thursday. And on December, the third Thursday will be read once we return in December. However, we want you to get them in by the third week of December because we're gonna still give out the $100 and still get the book to you. We'll just announce the winner in January.

Shannon (34:43.078)
Hehehe

Shun (35:08.55)
I shall fade, Shannon. Go ahead with your fictional family.

Shannon (35:13.626)
All right, thanks, Sean. Okay, the fictional family I'm filling this week comes from one of my favorite families, the Rocks, from everyone, or I'm sorry, everybody hates Chris. We've talked about them before. But this particular episode, Chris and his little friend Greg are talking about an allowance.

Because Greg being a little white boy, he gets an allowance and Chris said, you know I always heard of those things but never knew that they really existed and the little boy his friend says well go ask your father about an allowance because Chris wanted a new leather jacket and If anyone has ever watched the show, they know Julius his father is very cheap Julius who complains if a whole mill costs two dollars and eighty nine cents. That's too much for him

Shun (36:09.07)
I'm sorry.

Shannon (36:09.466)
So they're sitting at the dinner table and Chris is trying to think, okay, when is a good time to ask, you know, his, his cheap father for something? Well, everyone at the table starts asking for something. His sister, Tanya, says she needed $15 to go on a field trip. Then his brother, Drew, needed $5 to go to a show. And then his wife, she needed $25 to go shopping. So Chris was like, oh, cool. This is the perfect time to jump in here.

So he's like, can I get a leather jacket? And his dad says, you know, Julia's just like, well, when you get some leather jacket money, and he's like, but how about I get an allowance? And his father's like, I'm not gonna give you money just to walk around and do nothing. And he said, so what it sounds like you're saying to me is since I work all day like a slave and don't have time to enjoy my money that I should give it to you.

And he says, I'm not giving you money. And he says, an allowance. And so he goes into this, I allow you to sleep here. I allow you to eat those potatoes. I allow you to use my lights and drink my Kool-Aid. And goes down this long stretch of things, what his money does for him and for Chris and his siblings and the family. And of course, Chris completely, as a kid, not get it.

At the end of the show, he got it. And a lot of the kids, whether they're blended kids that we're talking about or biological, biological or natural kids, they will look and see, you know, who's doing for me, you know, like we said in the show, they will grow up and say, this person was there for me. This, um, I know who was that parent that, that stepped in and made sure I had what I needed.

Shun (37:52.622)
That's right.

Shannon (38:06.818)
Maybe not everything I wanted. Chris didn't get his leather jacket, but he had everything he needed. And Julius, as cheap as he was, he made sure those kids were taken care of. And so that's why I chose this fictional family as the fictional family that I am filling this week.

Shun (38:13.262)
That's right.

Shun (38:27.91)
Awesome. And then I think the most powerful message is we may not get, and I think everybody need to latch onto this. Parenting does not mean getting kids everything they want. Just get them everything they need. That's our duty.

Shannon (38:29.884)
Now.

Shannon (38:39.154)
Mm-hmm. That's Yep No matter if you're the biological parent the bonus parent step parent, whatever title you want to use

Shun (38:51.182)
Just make sure they have what they need. And we have just one more episode, one more episode guys, and Wifey and Baby Mama will be ending for season two. So thank you all for hanging with us tonight. Thank you Jason for coming on back to back.

Shannon (38:53.732)
That's right.

Shannon (38:57.774)
One more.

Yeah.

cannon (39:06.686)
It was great. Thank you for having me once again. Hopefully I can be back again.

Shun (39:10.806)
Season three, you should see me.

Shannon (39:11.27)
Almost definitely. All right, until next week.

Shun (39:16.446)
Love you all, bye.