Have You Been Marked Safe?
Download MP3Shun:
Hey, I'm Shawn.
Shannon:
and I'm Shannon.
Shun:
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Welcome back, family. It's always a pleasure to connect with you all. And we're going to get right into it. Tonight's topic is titled, Have You Been Marked Safe? And no, we're not talking about the natural disasters. We're referring to the storms of love and life. This topic kind of correlates to our last two topics, Children for Checks, Mel Golddiggers. innocence because Just like we wanted people to be cautious and aware of others looking to use and abuse your love for financial reasons Tonight's topic is along those lines because even when financial gain isn't the motive People will still play with you for a title a place to stay anything else, you know that they can get out of it with actually putting in the work of commitment towards a relationship So when we say have you been marked safe, we're referring to your heart and mental health Sometimes we're just tired of waiting, you know tired of the waiting game or seeing our friends and have a relationship and marriages You know, we're blinded by the first person that shows us attention, but is it genuine and that's our concern We're not necessarily talking about marriage attention, you know, although we always make it clear that at a certain age that most certainly should be the goal but
Shannon:
It
Shun:
in this
Shannon:
should
Shun:
form
Shannon:
be.
Shun:
Yeah, yeah, but in this form, you know, we're starting with just a commitment stage, you know Another thing we've said before is while we wait for our special someone or a forever person Ladies and gentlemen, we should be living our best lives being good to ourselves
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
Yeah, because it's a known fact. We teach people how to treat us, right? But what you know by what we allow and how we treat ourselves Now I have to say on this topic. I know someone out there talking about I know she ain't talking the
Shannon:
Thank
Shun:
way She
Shannon:
you.
Shun:
got took down through there a few times. I did
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Shun:
And that's exactly why i'm talking Yeah, uh
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
I think it was a comedian. I forgot which one who said when it comes to safe sex, you know And how to do it, right? I don't want to hear from magic junson. I want to hear from will chamberlain now magic don't hear this and think i'm coming for you you're my man
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
actually
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
one of my all-time favorites, but I dig the reference, you know magic was very open and honest with the world, you know When he announced being diagnosed with HIV so in a sense the comedian was saying he didn't do it, right? He was
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
married and just maybe stepped out of time but to when he got me well Chamberlain It was a known fact how many women they had
Shannon:
yeah
Shun:
right but he was never
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
diagnosed as far as we know
Shannon:
As
Shun:
which
Shannon:
far as
Shun:
mean
Shannon:
we know.
Shun:
He was fortunate to escape the STD at least that one anyway, so this with the stigma it had at the time so my point is You should want to hear from someone who's lived it who's lived that life and
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
can tell you how to elevate from it Or to abort it all together. And if
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
you know me personally, you know, or if you read my book I used to get my little heart broke over and over and oh And for the
Shannon:
Oh.
Shun:
most part it was on me though, you know, yeah, it was it was sad but for the most part was on me
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
I Can be woman enough to say that now, but I didn't see it back then, you know I thought if I
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
was
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
you know To these guys and if they were good-looking and charming and popular and they were showing me all that attention then they must love me So I'm gonna claim them, you know as my man and then boom six months two years later My little heart broken and I'm sick literally, you know,
Shannon:
Yeah...
Shun:
I had to learn over the years that I was responsible for guarding my own heart
Shannon:
That's right.
Shun:
and Until it was safe to share it with someone you know, safe to be to love someone else that felt exactly the same way I did and is invested as much as I would, then I just kept myself safe. And that's how I arrived at the place that I am now.
Shannon:
Yeah, yeah, and it's a lot of our listeners know, because I say it all the time, you know, I'm a little different, a little odd, strange person, but my first, you know, high school sweetheart, he dumped me for a girl that was putting out because
Shun:
Mm-hmm
Shannon:
I was in high school. I'm like, I don't know. And so
Shun:
Right
Shannon:
he's like, well, but he was honest. I'm like, wow, here we are. I think we were 16. I'm like, here we are 16. And he's like, Yeah, well, if you ain't gonna do it, I'm gonna get this person. And I remember I fell apart and I felt like I was on all my children or something. You know, I'm like, this is over the top dramatic even for me, you know.
Shun:
Hehehehe
Shannon:
So ever since then, you know, I probably had a minor couple of heartaches, you know, throughout the years, but nothing major, you know, whatever. But what keeps me from even acting or feeling some type of way. I keep thinking about to that 16 year old girl. I mean, when I tell you, you would have thought I lost every member of my family.
Shun:
You know, but it's funny but it's not but that's how it feels especially
Shannon:
You're
Shun:
at that
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
age
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
I get it It feels like your whole life is over and then and then
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
now having our own kids We when they go
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
through their things and they like so distraught and you're like if you don't get the heck out of here But you got to remember I think um, man another girlfriend I was discussing that this week with she's having issues with her daughter and this guy I was like you got to remember when we were that age how attached
Shannon:
Oh yeah?
Shun:
we were And no one could tell us anything about our man child. But what I think we look at as a difference is, we grew up in a different era. Like I told you how my mom was, like she was carefree.
Shannon:
Yeah...
Shun:
My friend said she worked a lot. But her mom worked a lot, so she didn't really give her a lot of attention, not in a bad way. She just had to work a couple of jobs because her father wasn't in the home. But in our sets, I think our, and Shannon, even you and I discuss this sometimes with your son and my older kids, the mothers we were. I don't understand like we didn't have the guidance, you know,
Shannon:
No?
Shun:
we like we're out on limbs, you know, we didn't
Shannon:
Yep.
Shun:
have The direction that we gave our kids so we just look at them like what they like we did all we
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
could
Shannon:
yep,
Shun:
But guess what
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
you just said is what I'm trying to get to with all that when we get frustrated our kids We can say it many times as we want don't do that
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
The heart does what it's want it does what it wants to do.
Shannon:
It does,
Shun:
So that's why
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
it's key. It's it's very Very imperative to keep it safe to keep your heart safe Because
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
i'm telling you can you can say this? No, this ain't nothing. It's a little boyfriend girlfriend And the next thing you know, you're somewhere rolling on the floor crying
Shannon:
Yeah, yep. And don't lie to yourselves, either people. You know, it's like, oh no, I really don't care about this person and I get this a lot from my son.
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
There'll be a particular girl, oh no, I'm not feeling her like that, no, no. But as soon as it's over, you know, he's a little down. I'm like, wait a minute, I thought you weren't feeling her. I thought she wasn't all that, you know, whatever. So it's like, be honest with yourself. That's how you
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
protect
Shun:
it.
Shannon:
your heart as well. you know
Shun:
And
Shannon:
like if you
Shun:
and
Shannon:
let
Shun:
yeah, if you like them you like them, you know And like we said
Shannon:
Mm hmm.
Shun:
date
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
if you're not married date There's many people if you want but don't get attached if you know, it's not a safe situation And that leads me until this point you have these women I mean what you said makes me think about this point you have these women in the same way as like your son Who know these guys are involved right? They have children and all but they still decide well when he's with me, he's mine There's
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
no such a thing if that
Shannon:
no
Shun:
man
Shannon:
such
Shun:
is
Shannon:
thing.
Shun:
committed to anyone else in any kind of way He's not yours
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
Not
Shannon:
that's
Shun:
saying
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
he can't be a father with kids and be responsible to his kids that don't miss me But if this man is still dating the mother occasionally spends the night with her they still
Shannon:
Mmm.
Shun:
do their thing just because of the kids Well, he's not yours
Shannon:
No.
Shun:
And you're sharing
Shannon:
Not at all. Yep.
Shun:
And sharing is not safe people. It will
Shannon:
No.
Shun:
be all good if you two were together, right? It'd be all good when y'all together then what happens when you see him in the family, right? Just
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
like you just said a special occasion, you know, you guys end up in the same restaurant He's out with the wife and kids and you just happen
Shannon:
Mmm.
Shun:
to run into them One of two things are going to happen. You want to act out which embarrasses yourself him and his family
Shannon:
Uh huh.
Shun:
Or your suffering silence as I often did because I didn't want to ruin what I had Not
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
knowing at the time being young and naive. I had nothing I had nothing.
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
Okay, we had nothing but again, I had convinced myself that I didn't want to be alone So I allowed myself
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
to be hurt over and over again by someone else when all along I had the power to make me happy.
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
I had the power to keep me subsean Substained and I had the power to keep me safe right
Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Shun:
Just wait in peace while
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
whatever was meant to be for me, you know came to me and it's not just women who experience this Like you just said with your son now we can
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
give a you know Woman's point of view but I've had a couple of male friends also who put themselves in this situation, right? I'm just gonna
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
do what I do with her You know, she got a family and I had to tell them that woman doesn't love you if she's allowing you to hang around and linger She don't care about you.
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
You know, she
Shannon:
not
Shun:
knows
Shannon:
at
Shun:
you're
Shannon:
all.
Shun:
waiting And that's
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
just sad if not worse
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
For some reason when I see a good man get it messed over it makes me I think madder than a woman because
Shannon:
I know, I know.
Shun:
I know because i'm thinking like, you know how hard it is to find a man that will show up shannon
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Shun:
How many women I hear complain that men don't show up for them and that's part of the reason Once they've experienced this and they get over it. It takes most men a very long time
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
Okay
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
to show that
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
kind of love again before they open themselves up like that. So
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
either they shut down or they become that man that we all want to stay away from, right? Because they set out to make every woman pay for that pain that one woman caused.
Shannon:
Oh yeah, and I have to say, I bring up my husband and my husband, you know, people, let me back up. So people look at me and say, oh, she's, you know, quiet and soft spoken or whatever. And I am, however, I am tough as nails when it comes to, I don't know,
Shun:
You're
Shannon:
I'm just
Shun:
hurt.
Shannon:
a fierce person, yeah. Whereas my husband, you know, he wears his heart on his sleeve. Every emotion, you're gonna know it. You don't ever have to second guess. So. He is very open about his love and you know, you know how he feels. But it took a minute, I'm sorry, for him to get there because he had dealt with so much hurt before in the past and that damage that it did to him, of course, I don't know if it's a guy thing or just human thing. I don't know. I guess I'd have to talk to, you know, some guys and see. But his view of every woman.
Shun:
was the
Shannon:
was
Shun:
same.
Shannon:
totally, yeah, it was totally bad. I mean, it was like, I'm like, for a long time too, I would say, do you like women? You know, and
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
he was like, I love women. I'm like, oh, okay. Until we started, you know, peeling back the layers. So there was just, you know, hurt after hurt after hurt. And I'm like, okay, so we gotta work on that one because you can't look at me like I did it. Cause
Shun:
Right, that's
Shannon:
I wasn't
Shun:
right
Shannon:
here. Yeah,
Shun:
And
Shannon:
so
Shun:
I think
Shannon:
we.
Shun:
that's a conversation to be honest that most
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
People and i'm not just you know, it's not a racial statement, please You know
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
this where you
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
got to be very careful, but most
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
people of color not gonna say that because i'm personal color Right. I'm not white. I'm
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
not puerto rican. I'm not asian. I'm a woman of
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
color most couples Uh most people of color they are dealing with layers and a
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
conference I went to a couple of weeks ago Talked about that How you have to go through all of these layers even at work You have to go through all these layers to get to the actual person because it's just been so much stuff You know, we just
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
carry so much stuff and
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
it's just known that you will bring that into the next relationship Like it's almost inevitable. So that's why it's imperative to keep yourself safe, you know, that's the topic tonight and think about it Before you had another person like that for your own selfish reasons and vice versa people we have to assess and say Does this person have good intentions? Is their talk
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
matching their walk? Do they walk off or shy away when we're in public? Are they consistent? Are you picking up the tab constantly? These are all signs, people, that you can watch for before you get yourself into these situations that you gotta dig your way out of, right? Remember,
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
it's not just on the other person to protect you. It starts with you. So watch for the sign. I mean, I can give a class on that, and I'm not kidding. I'll
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
allow people to play with my heart for far too long before I realize
Shannon:
Hmm
Shun:
what I'm saying to you all today You know in this podcast
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
Make sure to put some time into it
Shannon:
and now that you say that too, Sean, you know, I'm like, light bulbs are going off because maybe I was marking myself too safe because
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
of what happened
Shun:
a fact
Shannon:
at 16.
Shun:
Yeah, that can and that can happen too and I'm gonna tell you
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
You and your arm my husband and your baby daddy should probably go
Shannon:
Mm
Shun:
to
Shannon:
hmm.
Shun:
counseling together because he's
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
the exact same way He we had a conversation too. I'm telling I was about to leave him because I'm like, I don't
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
get it I love you, you know, he pays the bills. He takes care of the kids if I
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
said I'm
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
walking to the corner He's like wait a minute. Let me put your shoes on but when it comes to emotions and holding my hand He shied away and I'm like, I don't feel any love here. You know, I
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
said, I don't know what it is. Like he showed me the signs that he loved me, by his actions, but when it came to physical touch and an emotion kisses good
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
night, I'm
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
like, what is this? And
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
finally one day I just said, I'm believing you. Like we had no argument and he's like, what the heck, what? I said, I don't feel
Shannon:
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Shun:
loved here. He's like, what do you mean? So I started telling him all the things I just said. And he said, I'm sorry. He said, You hurt me so bad the first time I I'm just playing it safe. I just can't afford
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that again And that thing took me out I'm like
Shannon:
Oh.
Shun:
ready to leave him about something. I'm not feeling in the whole time. It's it's what he's still feeling from 1516
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
years ago And
Shannon:
Bye.
Shun:
I was like wow I mean so shannon it's possible to mark yourself too safe and i'm like brother you gotta let that go and it wasn't
Shannon:
Okay. Mm-hmm.
Shun:
overnight But we prayed about it. We screamed about it. We cried
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
about it. We took rides
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
and walks and
Shannon:
yeah
Shun:
We've gotten over the hump, but
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
i'm telling you it's a real thing to mark yourself too safe And
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
he had
Shannon:
it is.
Shun:
He
Shannon:
It
Shun:
loved
Shannon:
is.
Shun:
me He cared he provided for me, but he just wasn't willing at that time. He said I can't afford that again
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
And
Shannon:
right
Shun:
I was like, whoa, you know,
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
so yeah
Shannon:
Yep. So
Shun:
you could but you
Shannon:
so
Shun:
could
Shannon:
that
Shun:
have
Shannon:
explains
Shun:
been all those years
Shannon:
Yeah, that's probably why I did keep
Shun:
You don't
Shannon:
everybody
Shun:
want to feel that
Shannon:
at
Shun:
again
Shannon:
arm's length. Yeah, I'm like no
Shun:
You
Shannon:
you're
Shun:
didn't
Shannon:
not
Shun:
want
Shannon:
getting
Shun:
to feel
Shannon:
close
Shun:
that again
Shannon:
to me
Shun:
Getting close to me I feel you though and you know Like I said you put some time into it, right
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
Don't just jump in with both feet But don't just allow people to tell you. Oh, i'm good. You know, i'm the man I make this much this is where I live they show you this nice house and then boom we're together No, because people can put on the facade really
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
and
Shannon:
oh yeah.
Shun:
You put your time into it, Shannon, you know why? Because you gotta make sure they are who they say they are. Because
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
people can
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
only act for so long. Initially, that real person's gonna show up, you know?
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
So you give it some time don't go fall and head over heels because they are saying and doing in the actions Maybe matching their words, but again people put on very good facades and you'll find yourself all in love and you fell in love with this Perception of a person
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
They're representative the actual
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
person don't show up till later on and so we
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
have to be careful We're marking ourselves safe not to fall for that either not just the
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
bad qualities They and if sometimes when they say if it's too good to be true, it usually is
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
But then you have, sometimes you have those men and women that are just really good. And that's just what it is. But that's
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
where time
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
and patience come in, you know?
Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And don't be a red flag collector, you know, like a lot of people are. They see all the signs up front. Like you said, people show you who they are. And if you choose not to believe them, then don't get mad with your pocket full of red flags. I'm like, you know,
Shun:
She said
Shannon:
or
Shun:
red flag
Shannon:
our point.
Shun:
collector now I've never heard Have to use a red flag collector, okay, I got to write that down cuz I got now I got you know I got some sayings girl. You don't got me to now. I'm usually not stumped. That's hilarious But I'm happy you said red flag Shannon cuz have you seen the housewives? I'm sure everybody knows Atlanta housewives Portia
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
and she married Simon which was someone else's husband, right
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
when she
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
Initially got involved with him, but
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
she did a live the other day and said how well he treats her and she looks Yeah, I love first of all, I don't know about that portion. I wasn't there, you know, you're on the outside looking at I can't give my opinion I just
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
don't play like that, but
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
they look genuinely
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
happy together and she my girl
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
So it is what it is because that's my boo. I love her I think I love the fact that she was so dizzy and she knows she dizzy. So that's why I
Shannon:
Yes
Shun:
love her
Shannon:
she
Shun:
You know,
Shannon:
is,
Shun:
she don't
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
put my god. She'd like did I say that right? I'm like, oh, I love her. I love her life But
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that one kind of took me aback right and then she got off the shoulder. Okay, that was real suspect but anyways, she did a live the other day and she said my husband makes me so happy and And he shows up for me and she like I said she looks and he even looks like genuinely happy like they look really good Together,
Shannon:
Oh, okay,
Shun:
but she
Shannon:
okay.
Shun:
said be careful of she said my husband had red flags But they were not for me And you know what at first i'm like girl, wait a minute now You know we do we podcasters and I'm an author, you know And I've been in law enforcement for almost 20 like I analyzed
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
everything right? So I'm like if he has red flags then that's who he is And that's what my first initial assessment of her pot however her live was and I'm like, wait a minute
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
though Maybe that means it could also mean he had red flags. They just were not for me Maybe he doesn't have red flags at all Maybe he didn't
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
just come into the man he is now until he met the woman he wanted to be with Which is exactly what happened with my husband I'm pretty sure if I took a poll if I had a poll long enough to find out when my ex-husband had dated and stuff I could sit them and they could probably all give me a million red flags and reasons why I'll not girl Oh, baby. No and I could I could even go poll the 19 year old that was with him for those seven eight years, right?
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
And it wouldn't be the same man that I have right now
Shannon:
Mm-hmm, yeah, yep.
Shun:
Doesn't mean he wasn't guilty of all the things it doesn't mean he didn't do everything that they're gonna say I said he did or you know But
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
when it was time to show up for the woman that requested him or you got to get there alone He showed up. So
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
I was like, oh Cuz I was like, okay Porsche don't fool yourself now So he had red flags and I'm like see but it's always every it's two sides to everything
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
and when
Shannon:
true.
Shun:
I analyze that thing that second Time maybe he didn't have red flags. Maybe I'm just not doing it because you're not the woman for me
Shannon:
Right. Yep,
Shun:
Period
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
like it's no digger-deepen. You know what I mean?
Shannon:
Mm-hmm, right.
Shun:
So women and men this shows for both of you guys you have to assess that thing Maybe they're not showing up because that's just not your person and
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
maybe they're not showing up because it's an issue Like you said Channy you had to sit down with your husband I had to sit down with my husband and say what's going on here? You know what I'm saying and you just resolve the issue, but it's up
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
each individual situation is different, you know So I'm gonna wrap it up with a point that we repeat commonly on this show. A worst case scenario, right, when it comes to this topic. Some people, Shanna, are not mentally safe
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
to handle that kind of pain, especially when it's intentional. And when
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
I say intentional, I mean you knew from the beginning you didn't want forever with that man or woman. Or even cared enough to even give them the decency of monotony, right? The important thing is that you know, you know, you know, you know,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
you know, you know, Thing for you at this time was to make sure you felt good And I want to ask Shannon Have you heard the story going around about the woman who was separated from her husband and she got involved in this lesbian affair? with another woman And had her a good time honey lived her best life and then decided i'm going back to my husband and children. See you peace The
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
woman
Shannon:
no, I ain't heard it.
Shun:
that you know, it's been going around this week and the woman that
Shannon:
Oh wow.
Shun:
she left Supposedly hired a hitman, right?
Shannon:
God.
Shun:
Had him facetime her had him line up this girl's whole family on the couch and they had four children. So I'm not sure if all the kids were home. I don't know who of the family was home, but whoever
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
was home, he lined them up on the couch and shot them in the head one by one.
Shannon:
Oh my goodness, that's
Shun:
She wanted
Shannon:
awful.
Shun:
to see it
Shannon:
Mm. Mm
Shun:
She
Shannon:
mm
Shun:
had him FaceTime her G then
Shannon:
mm.
Shun:
the lady, you know who supposedly put the hit out said I know they have money in the house and whatever it's there. So she told him basically I want you to put like she's fed it to him like a robbery, right?
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
I want you to go in and rob him and kill him and you know, it's a
Shannon:
Mmm.
Shun:
whatever come out of money there I don't know if it was a
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
significant amount or not They you know how they give you scampi details, but when it was done, she told him now you keep all the money I just wanted to see them all day.
Shannon:
Oh my
Shun:
You know what kind
Shannon:
god,
Shun:
of sickness or
Shannon:
Sian.
Shun:
pain or both, you know that had
Shannon:
Mm-hmm,
Shun:
to be for somebody
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
to do
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
something that awful And and you know, I told that story not to gross nobody out or break nobody's heart It's important people to know who you're engaging with
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
So
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
you can be
Shannon:
That
Shun:
sure
Shannon:
is so true.
Shun:
you and your loved ones are marked safe from all forms of harm and not just heartache but danger, too because this lady decided that She wanted to go out here and you know do something she wanted to do because she just wasn't happy at home Instead of sticking around and working it out. You put your whole family in jeopardy
Shannon:
Uh-huh.
Shun:
And now the people you were supposed to keep safe you put them dead in the line of fire
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
So so family, please make sure you're marking yourself safe, but make sure you're making good decisions So everyone else is around you is safe, too
Shannon:
That's right. Love that, Sean.
Shun:
Yeah. All right. So I'm going to move into the red line for tonight. Alright this week's red line is titled don't take yourself off the shelf Ladies
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
and gentlemen don't allow anyone to gaslight you and convince you to talk yourself off the shelf, right? And by that I mean lower your standards just to say I have a man or I have a woman We shouldn't water down the true version of ourselves to fit inside someone else's box We always discuss the proper way to carry on in life, right? No matter if you're single or dating But until that right man or woman comes along with good intentions up your heart a plan for the future that includes both you and And then stay single a date have fun And when it's right, it won't be perfect, but don't force it Let it come
Shannon:
Don't force it. Mm-hmm.
Shun:
naturally. Don't force it. Don't take yourself off the shelf people.
Shannon:
Don't do it.
Shun:
Let your proper king or queen come along in and take their place.
Shannon:
Right. And like Sean said, like you just said, Sean, making sure you get to know the person that you're dealing with before you move too fast.
Shun:
That's it. Don't take yourself off the shelf until everything is in order. And I'm
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
gonna tell you,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
you ever heard this song? No, listen to your heart. I don't know who sings
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
that,
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
but you really have to listen to your heart. Listen to your soul. It will tell you, because sometimes that'll hardly get you in trouble. But if you just listen to that still small voice, it'll tell you like, this is it. And it'll
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
also tell you, beep, and sometimes we'll just turn that sound right off. You
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
got to listen to those that those warn is we have internal signals for a reason guys and we have to listen to them
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
So don't turn off your warning and then get yourself off the shelf because if they really love you They'll they'll have enough to entice you to bring you down They'll
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
have enough
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
love to make you want to float down. Don't go jumping
Shannon:
Uh-huh.
Shun:
off for the wrong person
Shannon:
That's right. Excellent
Shun:
All right.
Shannon:
red line.
Shun:
Thank you.
Shannon:
All right, so tonight for our fictional family, let's see our fictional family that Sean is feeling tonight. So I have asked Sean to present our fictional family tonight because it's from Waiting to Excel. to exhale, now let her set it up. But it just tied in so perfectly. I said, Sean, you have to do this. And she's like,
Shun:
Set
Shannon:
oh
Shun:
me
Shannon:
no,
Shun:
right
Shannon:
I'm not
Shun:
up.
Shannon:
letting you off
Shun:
Yeah,
Shannon:
the hook.
Shun:
set me right up.
Shannon:
but it's beautiful, so yes. Go right ahead and thank you so much, Sean, for this
Shun:
You're welcome,
Shannon:
fictional
Shun:
darling.
Shannon:
family that you're filling.
Shun:
Well, I got you. You're going to pay me back.
Shannon:
Okay,
Shun:
But anyways,
Shannon:
I will.
Shun:
as Shannon stated, our fictional family for tonight comes from a scene in Waiting to Exhale. And this is Shannon's segment. And she's so articulate. And she's so good with the names and setting up her families. I don't know these people name, y'all. Because I know I know me a movie. But I'm going to set it up for you. And when I do, y'all are going to know exactly who I'm talking about. So Bernie. was the lady, she was Angela Bassett's character and because he was only and for a short glimpse, um, Wes Snipes' character is,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
um, was the love interest who really they wasn't in love. It was one scene that they had but the reason Shannon and I chose this scene is at the, um, at the end after she goes to the divorce court and she's found out she's lost everything she ever knew and the man she's loved and bared these kids for and set up his background and got him all accomplished left her in her words. for a white woman and that just
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
devastated her. Because as a black woman, I've given up my whole life to make sure you are who you are and you didn't even have the decency to bring another sister along for the ride after I set you up. She was insulted,
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
right? This is, I'm just setting it up, y'all. Now this is how it went. So she's at the bar, she's steaming, she's chilling and still being cool. And he says, I don't know who you are, but you're wonderful. She says, oh yeah? He said, yeah, I can tell that one look in your eyes. So she goes, look, I've never done this before. And they talk and they do their thing. And eventually they make it upstairs to the room because he's staying in a hotel. He was in town for a conference. He didn't live in the city. She lived in. And once they got upstairs and they start talking and things heat up, he says, something I wanna tell you. And she goes, oh yeah. He's like, you know how I was telling you that my wife is dying and the woman, and you were telling me how the. The husband the man the woman your husband's leaving you for is a white woman. She says yeah, he said was so is my wife And I think that was uh, beautiful that he gave her that like he didn't just go
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
have sex with her He didn't engage with her and he didn't lead her on He didn't know this woman from a can of pain. He could have Did what he did and never saw her again, right? But he recognized the brokenness she was already broken and as a grown
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
man He didn't feel the need to take advantage of that And so he said, what do you want to do tonight? And he said, make tonight special or make tonight beautiful. And then they show the scene and he says, do you still want to stay with me? She said, you might want to leave after this. And she said, no, I want to stay. And the next scene they show, she said, it just hurts like hell. And the next
Shannon:
Oh.
Shun:
thing they show them fully clothed in the bed, cuddling, just making each other feel better, just safe in each
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
other's arms. And you think
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
like, that's it, right? And then at the end of the movie she gets a letter in the mail from him Saying, you know, I haven't stopped thinking about you. I looked you up and No matter what I love my wife, but nothing I feel for you undercuts what I feel for her. Now, how is that? And I thought that was so beautiful that Somehow it's a movie right? But this is life
Shannon:
Bye.
Shun:
somehow He marked her safe that night he didn't allow her to go there But he wanted
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
her to know that you also marked me safe by giving me the intimacy and when my wife is gone because she was dying of cancer They were both already marked safe for each other. I just
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
thought that was absolutely beautiful So
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
I picked that scene we picked that scene and shannon was like i'm gonna maybe set it up like
Shannon:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Shun:
that. You gotta run it so no I would have told her no in general y'all but I wanted to do it for the reason that I thought that was so beautiful. It wasn't a perfect situation by far But even
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
in the midst of both of their pain, God still has something else waiting. Now again, it's a movie, but we all know it happens every day.
Shannon:
Yes
Shun:
If you
Shannon:
it
Shun:
just
Shannon:
does.
Shun:
wait, we don't know how, we don't know when, but you can believe his plans for us are always good. So that's
Shannon:
Always.
Shun:
the fictional family we are feeling for tonight.
Shannon:
Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much, Sean, and I owe you big time.
Shun:
All right, well, you can pay me by telling the Red Line submissions and taking us out.
Shannon:
Yes, our Redline submissions. If you would like to win a $100 gift card, please submit your Redlines to wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com. Every third Thursday, we will announce a winner and read their Redline submission on the show. And at person, whose, whose ever submission we read. they will receive a $100 gift card. I know there's somebody out there that could use $100. So
Shun:
So enough.
Shannon:
please, yeah, yeah. So
Shun:
This
Shannon:
please
Shun:
can't
Shannon:
submit.
Shun:
go up one more time.
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
one more time.
Shannon:
So one more time, send
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
your red line submissions, wifey and babymama at gmail.com. We look forward to reading them. All right, and now, We have come to the end of our show. We thank you all for listening to us and going with the flow, as we kind of switch things up sometimes. We appreciate all of our listeners around the globe.
Shun:
Absolutely.
Shannon:
We thank you for tuning in every Thursday. And we
Shun:
Your
Shannon:
look
Shun:
faithfulness.
Shannon:
forward. Yes, very faithful.
Shun:
The faithfulness, yes.
Shannon:
So we look forward to next week. Everyone enjoy your weekend and we will talk to you next week.
Shun:
Love you all. Bye.
