Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:37.626)
Hey, I'm Sean.

Shannon (00:41.003)
Hi, and I'm standing.

Shun (00:42.062)
And we're the hosts of Wifey and Baby Mama. Happy Thursday, family. Welcome, welcome. We have made it through another week. And back to your living rooms, cars, kitchens, or wherever it is that you've chosen as your favorite or most comfortable spot to listen to your favorite host duo, Sean and Shannon. We appreciate you tuning in as always, and we are pleased to announce that we are in five more countries. They have joined the party in the last two weeks. Now, Shannon,

Shannon (00:50.893)
Yes.

Shun (01:11.806)
And yes, give it up for our country. Give it up.

Shannon (01:12.301)
Oh my gosh, I get it. I get it. Okay. Let's just give it up. Let's give it up Let's give it up for the new countries that have come on and of course, we don't announce we don't announce all of them because You know get a little tedious but because we got so many in such a short time frame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Shun (01:32.418)
in a week's time. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.

Shannon (01:36.845)
So we'll give a little bit of shout out here. So we got Russia, we got Barbados, we got Spain, Serbia, Indonesia.

Shun (01:45.76)
Yes.

Shannon (01:49.069)
Yes, that's what we got.

Shun (01:50.676)
I'm all up for it. I'm all for it. Welcome family. Welcome, baby mama. Thank you She's the geo geographical arm and technical guru guys, you know, she's a truth with the stats. I cannot touch it, baby That's why we hand a glove. All right now that we got that out of the way y 'all ready for another interesting yet important topic and with us tonight to discuss this type of called Friends that sit closer than any brother is George's very own. Dr. Stephanie Dustin

Shannon (01:55.637)
Yeah.

Shannon (02:04.237)
Hehehehe

Shun (02:19.444)
Stephanie, why don't you introduce yourself? Tell the audience something about you. Yes. Dr. Dustin.

Shannon (02:20.653)
Yeah, I'd love to have...

Stephanie (02:26.286)
Well, thank you very much for having me tonight. My name is Dr. Stephanie Dunstan. Stephanie is what most people call me. But I'm here tonight. Very good topic to discuss with you. I have been working in academics for about 20 years now. So it is a pleasure for me to be here. I have a great family. This is my passion, sharing, working.

Shannon (02:30.765)
Thank you.

Stephanie (02:55.598)
being able to help someone. So I appreciate the opportunity to be here.

Shun (03:00.398)
Oh, we are so happy to have you. Yes.

Shannon (03:01.741)
Awesome. Yes, we are welcome. Welcome Stephanie.

Stephanie (03:06.286)
Thank you so much.

Shun (03:07.308)
Yes So stephanie and I go way back and the irony of that is shannon is uh, we were the least two likely people to be friends Right just like you and I I mean When you look up strong, but yeah when you look up strong black personalities in the dictionary You'll see me and stephanie probably pop up at the same time me mugging. Okay, but She's one of the first people I call if I needed someone to help me and I was down ladies And it's a blessing to have friends that stick closer than you brother

Shannon (03:17.453)
I know.

Shannon (03:27.789)
Ha ha ha ha.

Shannon (03:36.909)
Yeah.

Stephanie (03:37.198)
That's true. What you said about us is true. And when I was thinking about friends that stick closer than a brother, one of the things that came to my mind this week was the best friendships that I have, including this one, came from two very basic things that most people don't even think about. The first one was unfamiliarity, and the other one is pain.

And I thought about that because when I met you, I wasn't familiar with you. And when you met me, you weren't familiar with me. We really didn't know anything about each other. And how I became your friend was so different. But being able to meet with you, talk with you, I learned some things about you that were some sources of pain that you were going through at that time.

And it allowed me to be able to feel comfortable in opening up some things with you. And from there, God grew a great friendship. And I think it came because everybody accused us of being friends. We didn't even know each other, didn't know anything about each other. And everybody said, oh, they're good friends, they're best friends. And we didn't know anything about each other. We hadn't really had a conversation. But it kind of drew us together to find out, I think one day, you know, we worked in the

in the same place and we crossed each other's path on a day that I think we both were having a bad day. And it was kind of like, well, what's going on with you and what's going on with you? And to find that out, God just grew that to show there's somebody out there that needs what you have, no matter what you're going through.

Shun (05:12.238)
Absolutely, and I'll entertain you all with a little background on that story Stephanie just told we worked under a contract with immigration custom and enforcement it was ice and dr Dunstan was on the administration and whenever I was in the hot seat, which was often she was one of the people you know, I had to go see I was in her office so much people started saying, you know, they are friends. She covers for her. She must be keeping her employed. I

Shannon (05:29.581)
Hehehe.

Shun (05:36.686)
When the fact is it was God actually keeping me employed. What they did know was half the time she was in there looking at me like, I wish you'd get the hell out of my office. And I was looking at her like, I can't wait to get out your office when we first met. So what they did was they actually called something that was not though, right? As though it was, and then God was able to do his thing. You see words have power. And so when they were accusing us of being friends, they were actually calling it into existence. And...

Shannon (05:46.829)
Hehehehehe

Shannon (06:00.269)
Right.

Shun (06:03.31)
Shannon, we say that all the time, don't we? You know, be careful with your words. Be careful with your words.

Shannon (06:07.565)
Yep. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, they're powerful. And for our, you know, what we do here every week, when we talk about our blended families and, you know, people look at Sean and I, you know, there was a lot of hate, you know, from, you know, thinking, you know, y 'all are fake. There's no way the two of you could be friends or whatever. Or,

Shun (06:19.95)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (06:37.447)
Even on the on another Comparing back to last week when we talked to or tonight. I'm sorry When people want to tear down Blended families or relationships a lot of it comes in the form of some type of friendship Excuse me. So um Sean and I had a conversation the other week when someone comes carrying stuff to you. I

Shun (06:56.078)
Absolutely.

Shannon (07:06.293)
And you got to look at the messenger. It's like, why are you bringing this to me? Is this going to benefit us? Or are you coming to me with some information that's going to help where I'm at, or are you just coming being messy? And that's one thing about friendship with Sean and I that we've learned.

Shun (07:12.492)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (07:32.363)
You know that we want to always uplift each other, always benefit each other and be positive. I don't care what it is that I'm going through. I know I can go to her. I can talk to her about my husband, about whatever you know is going on and she can do the same with me. No matter that I've been with the common denominator or whatever, it doesn't matter.

Shun (07:49.42)
Mm -hmm.

Shun (08:01.934)
That's right.

Shannon (08:02.445)
And a lot of folks won't get that. They won't understand it. But this is my sister.

Shun (08:09.312)
Absolutely and your friendship got to outweigh the way the negativity Stephanie and I worked in a place where our friendship it wasn't very popular and it was people that was friends with me You know that didn't necessarily care for her and vice versa She had friends that were really close to her and I'm like, no she you know What if she come and I ain't coming or she in your office called me later I'll come back to talk to you later, but it never negated what we felt for each other. You know, it's like we're grown

Shannon (08:14.789)
Exactly.

Shannon (08:29.837)
Right, right.

Shun (08:35.244)
So you can have her as a friend or him as a friend and you know, she's grown she can have she's like, you know You can be a friend. I'm forward. I don't know what's going on, but that doesn't determine or Dictate how our friendship ran and that's how you determine if a real friend is a real friend because you have those friends Shannon They say oh, well, if you don't talk to her, you know, don't talk to me now I'll tell you when that comes into play is if a person is my enemy My known enemy and they're trying to do me harm. You can't be their friend to be mine, too I'm gonna have to let you have that

Shannon (09:01.421)
Mmm... Yeah...

Shun (09:05.26)
Friend or family. So now that's where you draw the line. So I want people to be very clear on what I'm saying. I had a couple of friends that I'll still go to war to with right now and they make, they probably can't stand her and she probably can't stand them. Had nothing to do with that. I love them both and neither one of them could talk bad about each other to me. You get what I'm saying? It's just regular normal girl stuff. I can deal with that. But if I have known something, you've intentionally did something to try to hurt my friend and bring them down.

Shannon (09:06.605)
Right. Right.

Shannon (09:25.421)
Mm -hmm.

Shun (09:31.822)
I can't consider myself a good friend to smile and laugh in your face. I can't do that. So that's where I draw the line on that. You know, it's okay to be friends. We're grown. You're going to have people Shannon, I may come to your house and be like, Shannon, your girlfriend, I ain't feeling her vibe. That don't mean you don't have to be that girl's friend anymore. It just means I'm not feeling her. And when she there, call me over on another day. You get what I'm saying? So yeah, that's the difference, you know.

Shannon (09:37.357)
Right.

Shannon (09:46.093)
Yeah.

Shannon (09:50.381)
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Right.

Stephanie (09:56.846)
You know, it's two things that you both said. One, you know, when you said that about the enemy, I think one of our popular sayings that we say with each other is, I can't be friends who are friends with my enemy. But, you know, we can't hang out as a group, as three of us as a group, but you and I can do anything together.

Shun (10:07.886)
Absolutely.

Stephanie (10:15.214)
We really can't. We can talk about anything. We can say anything. But the other thing was when Shannon was talking about, you know, there's people trying to tear down your relationships. It always makes me think of what everybody else means for bad. God always turns into something good or he means something good because, you know, when things are really rooted and grounded in who he is.

Shun (10:16.078)
That's right.

Shannon (10:36.735)
Amen. Amen.

Shun (10:37.902)
Absolutely.

Stephanie (10:40.814)
He's going to make everything work out for your benefit, no matter what it is. And I'll also weed out those people because I do want to say that you and I had some people in our lives that we thought wanted to be our friend, that we extended our friendship to. And we were very loyal to those people, but those people ended up stabbing us both in the back and letting us know who they were. So, you know, we extended something good to them, but God showed us who these people really were.

Shannon (10:45.933)
Mm -hmm.

Shun (10:53.664)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (10:54.957)
Yeah.

Shun (11:02.328)
Absolutely.

Stephanie (11:10.702)
And he said, you know, I'm, you have this thing, your, your friendship is our friendship was focused around him. And that's one of the reasons that it has lasted so much. Our foundation and friendship came when we used to share the Bible in the morning together. And we would talk about things our preacher talked about at church or things that we had heard. We would share with each other. Well, my preacher talked about this, or I would share with her what my preacher talked about.

Shun (11:19.118)
That's right.

Stephanie (11:40.59)
But when that friendship became rooted and grounded in God, he protected what we had. And he didn't let those outside forces come in and infiltrate and ruin what we had because when you are protected by God, he's only going to give you his best, as long as you're giving him your best. So he grew that out of that relationship first that we both gained with him. And from that relationship grew a wonderful friendship.

Shun (11:46.38)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (11:46.485)
Mm -hmm.

Shun (11:57.248)
Absolutely.

Shannon (11:58.185)
Amen.

Shun (12:07.822)
Absolutely and that and that comes from a testament though of who we are as people Because you had shannon the constant of he say she say right but no matter what when I went to her office She remained professional and that made me see that made me receive when she said, you know, look you're going through a lot Here's the scripture read this she was able to separate the two and so our professional relationship grew into a friendship once I saw that side of her because you know, I she would help people that I'd be like I wish I would I

Shannon (12:08.429)
That's awesome.

Shannon (12:28.621)
Hmm.

Shun (12:37.326)
Like people will walk the dog on her and then come to her office the next day. She'd be like, oh here you go Your kids are hungry. I'm like, wait a minute. That ain't part of your job What you're doing, but she taught me how to be a friend, you know She taught me what the meaning of it was and I was able to put that stuff to the side, you know And now it rubbed off on me and now I'm able to say, you know You got to help people you got to love people with the love of God and she's a really a lot of that who showed me that and our Friendship is lasted. Here it is. Almost 20 years the most

Shannon (12:40.685)
Yeah.

Shannon (12:46.765)
Hehehehehe

Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (13:03.021)
I don't see it.

Shun (13:05.868)
Unlikely like I said thing and the reason we're running this topic tonight is just for ladies like you Shannon and me and you Steph You know our friends are so important. They're just as important as the mates We pick in life, right? Because it both of your relationships have produced 20 and over 20 years and don't you guys agree with that theory? It's just important to pick your friends as it is your mate

Shannon (13:19.307)
Mm -hmm. Right, right.

Shannon (13:30.943)
Yeah, it is. It really is because, you know, even with friendships, you sometimes run into things that, you know, you might disagree on or you might bump heads a little bit. And a true test of friendship is you're able to move past those things. You're able to say, okay, I know that this girl has my back and just like with your mate, no matter what I go through, will Brazil.

Shun (13:59.054)
Yeah.

Shannon (13:59.885)
My husband. We can go through it. And as we've learned over the last five years, we can talk through it in the same way with friendship. Because he is my friend, of course, number one. He is my friend now. We didn't start out that way, but he is my friend. He is my confident. He's my everything. And so my girls are the same way. And understanding that.

Shun (14:11.406)
Mm -hmm. That's right.

Shannon (14:29.887)
No matter what we go through in life Those that got your back those that have your um, uh You you know, they they they got you for example We I think we've all seen the facebook posts or for those who are on facebook when they say oh You don't have to talk to your friend every day. That's true You know a true friend sometimes could be someone that you only talk to You know when you need them and there are people that are just

Shun (14:51.246)
That's right.

Shun (14:56.878)
That's right.

Shannon (14:58.861)
just there when you need them or when they need you. One of my really, really close girlfriends just lost her brother. And we don't talk every day. She's from Massachusetts. She is one of the people that is near and dear to me. But when she called and said she lost her brother, I'm like, I'm here. What can I do? And people.

Shun (14:59.886)
That's right.

Shannon (15:28.435)
know me, they know I'm a cook, they know I'm a cook. I'm like, what can I cook for you all? I'm going to make you all whatever you want. She said, can you cook for the repass? Of course, I will do whatever, you know, and that to me, even though we don't talk every day, being supportive for people.

Shun (15:47.182)
That you showing your love and loyalty to her. Yeah. Mm -hmm.

Shannon (15:50.419)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they would, she does the same for me when I lost my father. She was the first person that showed up on my doorstep because she knows I was daddy's girl. She was the first one knocking at the door. So, you know.

Shun (16:00.334)
Right.

Shun (16:03.95)
That's all right.

Stephanie (16:06.126)
You know, one of the things that strikes me is even the word friend. You know, I call you every day and the first thing I say is like, hey friend. And I say that because you are truly my friend. You are somebody that I put a lot of trust in. I have a lot of love for you.

Shun (16:17.74)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (16:18.847)
Um...

Shun (16:24.142)
That's right.

Stephanie (16:28.174)
And I have a story to tell just a little bit about that. I go to the same place. I've been going to the same place to get my hair done for years. And so you call me while I was getting my hair done one day. And I picked up the phone and I said, hey, Fran, what you doing? And I said, I'm getting my hair done. I'll call you back. And you said, OK. I hung the phone up. And the girl who does my hair, she said, you've been coming here for a long time. I thought I was your friend. And I said,

Shun (16:54.414)
You

Stephanie (16:54.734)
Okay, so what do you mean? She said you picked up the phone and you said, hey friend, you've never said that to me before. But she is somebody you care about. But to use the word friend is not something I use very loosely. Because you know what I've learned in life is everybody's not your friend. They'll present your friend, but everybody is not a friend and you have to examine those people.

Shun (17:11.214)
Absolutely.

Shannon (17:13.165)
Yeah.

Shun (17:16.27)
That's right.

Shannon (17:17.421)
Right.

Stephanie (17:22.414)
Friendship grows over time. It doesn't just happen. And you have to give it that time to grow and to be able to cultivate into something like what I have with you because it didn't happen overnight. You didn't extend me your trust. The first two times we talked to each other, even the first month I talked to you, even the first six months, you had no idea who I really was. And when you were talking about your mate, you know,

Shun (17:25.614)
Absolutely. That's right.

Shannon (17:27.765)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Shannon (17:39.405)
Right.

Stephanie (17:49.102)
It's been said when people introduce themselves to you, they introduce this person to you that you think you really, really like and they're great. And some people rush into this relationship and then six months later they're married to end in divorce. But that person introduced you to what they wanted you to see. You didn't get to see who they really were. And I...

Shun (18:03.404)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (18:04.417)
Mm.

Shun (18:11.022)
We speak about that often on this show. They send their representative.

Shannon (18:11.757)
Right.

Yeah, the representative. Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie (18:15.246)
Yeah, and I think in our relationship, we got to stay around each other long enough to really see who each other was and to understand. Yeah, there was not just there was this, there's a spiritual thing. There was a spiritual connection that brought us together as friends. And that is so important to be able to sustain.

Shun (18:27.246)
to develop that friendship.

Shannon (18:28.461)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (18:35.969)
Yeah.

Shun (18:40.59)
Absolutely.

And I'll tell you.

Shannon (18:43.853)
Yeah, even Sean, you know, with you and I, when you came to Charlotte, you know, when Jamila was what, two? I think she was two. And she was carrying, yeah, she was carrying around my son's picture with her, this is my brother, this is my brother. You know, even then, you know, that was our first time getting to know each other. But I don't think we really truly connected until Daddy died, you know, and.

Shun (18:51.694)
So yeah, that's the first time I visit.

Shun (19:11.342)
Yep, their kids, our kids grandfather. Yeah. That's I think when it came out together.

Shannon (19:12.781)
Frank Yeung.

Yeah, yeah when he died Mm -hmm. Yeah, and we were sitting there I Think I don't know how you felt but I was sitting there feeling like an outsider Yeah, okay, okay

Shun (19:29.262)
Yep, absolutely. And that's how I was feeling. We were just sitting there like and we were both the baby mamas. Wait a I was married to him I think. I don't know because I know I had left him now, but I left him a couple of times. But I think we was both baby mamas at that point. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know if I had divorced him. I don't remember if I was wife or I had divorced him was back the baby mama. I don't know. But I do know that we were outsiders in that house no matter what my title was. And that brought us closer together. And it's just strange because

Shannon (19:37.229)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Shannon (19:49.581)
Yeah, right, right, yeah, yeah.

Shun (19:57.792)
You being my husband's first child's mom and Stephanie basically being my arch enemy when I first arrived at the prison It's like how unlikely is this right that we end up with these like tight Sisterhoods, right because if you think about it society would rather have it the other way, you know Here we are successful strong black women, right women of color They would much rather pit us together than put us in it in the same category But sisters and brothers we have to be careful of that, right?

Shannon (20:05.965)
Hehehehehe

Shannon (20:16.565)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (20:24.653)
Right, right.

Shun (20:27.01)
We are so much better together Steph. I want to directly ask you one quick question in your position and being a military wife, right? Over the years hasn't been easy to form bonds or did you get a lot of opposition? You know once you were older or were your connections made in like your earlier days and you just continued I'm just concerned like was it easier when you were younger? Are you carrying a lot of old friends and Shannon? You could probably go after her too. That's something for both of you guys. Or is it that?

Shannon (20:54.573)
Yeah.

Shun (20:54.894)
You know, you made more connections once you were older and in your professional world.

Stephanie (20:59.438)
Let me say this. I'm a hard person to I'm not, I don't extend myself. So friends that I had when I was younger, I have a lot of friends that I grew up with that if I go home today, I'll go visit them. We don't talk every day, but I call them maybe every so often. Now in my professional time, it's been harder for me to make friends because I always have that. There's always a type that a competition in your professional environment.

Shun (21:10.06)
Okay.

Stephanie (21:28.846)
think that, you know, if I'm going to go for a promotion, most of the people I know, they're going to, they're trying to do the same thing or they are doing something similar to what I'm doing. So people always want to do it greater, better, stronger than you can do it. So do you, I have maybe a few friends that are my true connections professionally, but most of my lasting friendships have come in my younger.

Shun (21:55.63)
Okay, what about you, babe?

Shannon (21:59.509)
Yeah, so for me, my friendships are, you know, usually, or my lasting friendships are from my earlier years. It is harder now. And once you get older, yeah, once you get older, it is harder. Because, I don't know, you're a little more jaded, I guess. You've probably been burned a lot and you know,

Shun (22:08.878)
Okay.

Shun (22:23.79)
Cautious and cautious

Shannon (22:28.973)
Certain things have happened. So most of my friendships are 20 plus years old. I don't have a lot of quote unquote new friends.

Shun (22:35.148)
Wow.

No, no new friends. Who's that Drake? No new friends Jay -z one of them. But yeah, so we all agree because um, I That's that's my position. Most of my childhood friends were made in the south, right? But you guys know I moved here in like what eighth grade but still I have like a few rotted eyes here like no doubt But of course, you know you lose contact if you move here what 10 11 years old And you only return home on occasion, you know for a funeral or family event But let me tell you that the releasing of my novel

Shannon (22:42.125)
Hahaha!

Shannon (22:51.693)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (23:08.03)
And the startup of this podcast, Shannon, it's those childhood friends from eight years and nine years old who have supported me, girl, overwhelming tremendously. It's the old, you know, the friends of old. And, you know, like I said, I have friends here and some I've met even since I returned in 16. And of course my faithful few like Steph and you guys who remain constant support for me. But the overall support came from those younger years, you know, and I have to say this, they outweigh.

Shannon (23:17.101)
Yes, yes.

Shun (23:36.686)
My family by far, they support me more than my own freaking family, especially immediate family that you think is gonna be there. So now that's why friends that sit closer than brothers are important, because sometimes your family don't show up when you expect them to. You know, I have my faithful few siblings, don't get me wrong. I have my faithful few siblings that got my back. My three aunties and my handful of cousins, baby, they're going to war with me. And you know, they're right by my side, but in my family, I can name each one of them that's gonna show up each and every time.

Shannon (23:51.533)
Alright.

Shannon (23:58.573)
Hehehe.

Shun (24:05.678)
I can name it by hand because it's sad but family sometimes is not there, you know But that's why God gives us our friends that stick closer than a brother, you know God knew he knew because of Cain and Abel He saw the shade from the jump. You hear me? So he was like, let me go on and create some friends cuz these brothers and sisters ain't gonna do right Can't enable was tripping so God was like I gotta put some friends up in the human race cuz sometimes the family be tripping girl

Shannon (24:12.683)
Right.

Shannon (24:21.965)
Hehehehe.

Right, right.

Shannon (24:32.013)
Mm -hmm. Yep, yep.

Stephanie (24:32.846)
Yeah, that's true. The Bible, there was a part in the Bible that told us, you know, when Jesus knew at 12, you know, he said, I need to be about my father's business. So he went out preaching in the gospel. And so after he anointed the disciples to walk with him and do all the things that he was doing, he was preaching, teaching, healing and everything. And there's a story about how he decided to go back home to Bethlehem.

Shun (24:34.988)
Hehehe.

Shun (24:44.108)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (24:45.141)
Yeah.

Stephanie (25:01.006)
or to, you know, to see his family. He was going where his family was. And Jesus, you know, people don't talk about, he had brothers and sisters, just, you know, just like he did. But when he went there, they were like, we need to go get Jesus. He's preaching. He's down there preaching and teaching and we need to go and get him. We need to bring him home because he's down there saying he can do all these things. But they couldn't see who he was because that was their brother.

Shun (25:10.766)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (25:22.253)
Hehehe.

Shun (25:27.598)
That's it. That's right.

Stephanie (25:28.526)
So they didn't, they couldn't see that Jesus was Jesus because, you know, you're Jesus who was the carpenter here. You're that little boy who used to run around here. You're not our savior. And you're preaching and teaching these things. So they thought Jesus had just lost his mind, but they were so close to him. And that's, I think how our family sees us. You know, if I go home today and I go home and I'm like,

Shun (25:33.71)
He was too close.

Stephanie (25:55.694)
The only person that you can't settle down about, I'm Dr. Stephanie Dunstan is my mom. She sells it to everybody that she can find in the whole world. She's like, you know, I was a doctor and people are like, oh my God, if you say that again, but people can't receive me as Dr. Stephanie Dunstan. I'm Stephanie. And I wasn't, you know, not that I wasn't supposed to do these things, but they cannot receive what God has given me because they just see me as plain Stephanie who grew up in this small town in Oklahoma.

Shannon (26:02.989)
Okay.

Shannon (26:07.885)
Ha ha ha ha ha.

Stephanie (26:24.526)
And when I go back home and I'm like, they're like, what do you do? I am Dr. Stephanie Dunson. I teach, I do this. And they're like, yeah, right. But I do. I really do that. And they don't know me out of the life that I had in Oklahoma, that in Georgia, you know, people receive me when I tell them this or I go places or people ask me to do things. You know, I can introduce myself as who I am. But when I go home, I'm Stephanie. They don't they don't receive that. And my sisters, I know, are proud of me. But, you know,

Shannon (26:30.957)
Yeah. Wow.

Shun (26:31.68)
Absolutely.

Stephanie (26:54.606)
They don't even see me as Dr. Stephanie Dunstan. They're like, that's our sister. I'm the youngest. So they're like, go sit down. You're still six and we're like 11 and 13. So you were the youngest. It was no way we're going to be calling you doctor. But they were proud of me in the same way. I know they're proud. But like you said, they just, your family are so close to you. They cannot see that accomplishment in you. And the drive that God has.

Shannon (27:02.893)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (27:14.669)
Right.

Shun (27:23.502)
Sometimes they don't see it, sometimes they don't want to see it.

Shannon (27:25.805)
So.

Right, right. So I have to ask Stephanie, so if you think about, you know, when you're no longer here and the one person, the one friend that will be able to, you know, stand up and say who you really are, do you have that, you know, that person that you know you can go to? I don't know if I do. So I'm asking you because people want to put...

You know, especially when people pass they put them in these these buckets that you know, they weren't you're like Oh, she would give the shirt off her back. Yeah, she would give the shirt off back I hope no one ever tells that story about me. I will never get the shirt off my back. I'll give you an extra shirt If I got one, but I ain't giving you the one off my back. So i'm just saying Do you have that? Um person that you know would be able to say who you really are. Yeah the whole truth

Shun (28:02.766)
on a pedestal.

Shun (28:21.742)
will tell the whole truth.

Stephanie (28:25.134)
And I do, it's funny you say that because I think Sean would do that. I think she would be able to say, this was my friend and I saw her do that and it wasn't just about, you know, it wasn't about her. She made life about somebody else. And I think she would be that person that would stand up and truly say, I really knew her and, you know, be sincere in what she was saying. And she would speak on that from a personal perspective and not just.

Shannon (28:30.225)
All right.

Shun (28:30.29)
Absolutely would.

Shannon (28:33.909)
Yeah.

Shannon (28:41.043)
Yay.

Shun (28:48.33)
Absolutely.

Shannon (28:49.035)
Yeah.

Stephanie (28:52.34)
inflate it because that's the nice thing to say about somebody who's no longer here.

Shannon (28:55.085)
Mm -hmm Right, right love it love it

Shun (28:59.31)
I am honored friend and I know that you would do the same for me. I knew I had to fight tomorrow, but y 'all fight it out. I'm gonna be dead. I'm not choosin'. But it's whoever answered the phone first. That's why I'm gonna tell my husband to put on the obituary. So you'll probably win because she never answers her phone. So y 'all.

Shannon (29:08.973)
Heheheheh

Shannon (29:14.637)
I know, I know.

Stephanie (29:17.806)
And we could fly on the second ring.

Shun (29:26.336)
Oh ladies, this has been wonderful. Oh my god. I can't believe I have the two of my besties This is the second time in like a year I've had this y 'all can give me a heart attack, but we have to move on ladies Is there anything else you guys want to add before we wrap up and go to the next segment? Any last words?

Shannon (29:30.333)
Yay.

Hey.

Shannon (29:42.029)
No, nothing.

Stephanie (29:42.222)
I just want to say, I hope this helps somebody tonight because there's somebody out there now who is even on the fence with a friend who maybe they've been hurt by a friend that they really, really, you know, thought was their friend. There's opportunity to repair that. I think, you know, we've got our struggles and we've had things that like, you know what, right now, you know, it is like a marriage right now. I'm not feeling you and you might not be feeling me, but God has always brought us back together. So before you give up that friend.

Shun (29:46.046)
Absolutely.

Shannon (29:47.117)
Yeah.

Shun (29:57.998)
Absolutely. That's right.

Shun (30:06.06)
That's a fact.

Shannon (30:08.493)
Right, right.

Stephanie (30:11.822)
Think about it, pray about it, and let God lead you in the direction. Don't let your emotions get involved. Don't be offended by what they said, but really go to God and ask him to show you, is this my friend? And can we find our way back to each other?

Shun (30:27.854)
That's awesome. Awesome insight. Well, I do the wrap -up, but I think stepping in took it from me tonight, but I'll try I mean I'll give it a shot Shannon so We have to do an official wrap -up. So since she announced it I guess that's all I can do that She didn't did tonight's wrap -up is real friends may not talk every day This is the synopsis of the conversation as we've given you today and like my friend said I hope you can take something from this to understand

Shannon (30:28.813)
Amen.

Shannon (30:34.797)
Yeah.

Shannon (30:43.085)
Yeah.

Shun (30:55.182)
We may not show up for every important occasion, you know, life potentially takes us all in our own planned directions. But when you have someone, you can call when you are down and they come to your rescue, even if it's just words of encouragement. Then you have yourself a friend indeed. My grandmother used to tell me, don't measure your friends by loyalty and how they show up when you're doing well. Measure it by how many show up when the chips are down. Those are the people you want to stick close to and make sure you are the same kind of friend to them.

Because friendships, just like relationships, take efforts on both parts. All right. All right, let's go on to the audience invite, baby mama.

Shannon (31:31.149)
That's right. Awesome.

Shannon (31:38.335)
All right, here we go.

Shun (31:40.264)
All right our audience invite title of last week's song was no pain no game by Betty Wright and The last the episode of last week was love isn't always pretty it covers the ugly, too Now young folks you gonna have to blow the dust off that one for real It is one of those Stan power hold on to your love type of songs Please take the time to listen to it in its entirety and if you've ever had to fight for your love You'll enjoy that trip down memory lane

And if you're brand new to it, young folks, that's music. Okay, so wash all the other stuff out your ears before you listen and really take a listen. And if you dig that song, or guess the name of the tunes that go with the lines I dropped in tonight's episode, or any of our episodes this season, this is your official invite to hit us up at wifeyandbabymama .gmail .com. That's wifeyandbabymama .gmail .com. All right, Shannon.

Shannon (32:37.747)
All right, awesome. Thank you. On to our final segment is the fictional family I'm feeling. The fictional family I'm feeling tonight is, because we're talking about friendships, is Bloom Whitney and they're from the movie Beaches. I don't know if you're all familiar with that movie, but those were the two of the closest best friends when I think about

Two girls that loved each other more than anything if you've seen beaches with bet mitler and barbara hershey, I know it's a oh, oh movie And some people may not a lot of our young people will have to go back and reference it, but I recommend it Because it was an awesome film So the a couple of scenes i'll talk about one of them was when they were in the laundry Excuse me and um

Barbara Hershey or Hillary as her name was, was doing the laundry for Cece and Cece says to her, you know, oh, I can't believe you're doing my laundry. This is something a man has never even done for me. And, you know, just talking about, you know, how close they were that Hillary could do her laundry. But then because Cece is wanting to be a actor or actress,

back then, they didn't call them actors. They were actresses and she wanted to be on Broadway. She says, I want to ask you something. Do you think I'm talented as an actress? And Hillary, of course, says yes. She says, I really think you are. And she says, really, you think I could really do this? And she says, yes. So then when moving on from the laundry scene,

Cece does get a major role and her friend is genuinely happy for her. Or so it seems. You know, even as friends, you know, we can sometimes look at each other and say, okay, their lives are this or their lives are that. So Cece goes on to be this great Broadway actor, whereas Hillary has a family.

Shannon (35:00.205)
She has a child and neither one of them realized they were secretly jealous of each other.

Hillary wanted the fame and fortune secretly, or not necessarily wanted it, but she was jealous that Cece had it. Cece wanted the family and the children. And they get into a bit of a little spat in New York. They meet up in New York and they have a screaming match about them both being a little bit jealous of each other. And sometimes friends can do that.

Shun (35:39.564)
Mm -hmm.

Shannon (35:40.269)
But then Hillary is diagnosed with a heart condition.

and she ends up dying. And after her funeral, her one daughter, who she did end up having, in her will, she wants her daughter to be with Cece. And so Cece approaches the daughter and she says, so your mother wanted you to live with me. But if that's not what you want, I understand.

And the daughter's like, well, yeah. If that's what my mother wanted, I want to be with you. She says, but does my father know? Because obviously the father's in the picture. And she says, yes. And she says, can I call him if I want to? She says, yeah, yeah, for sure. I want to be everything that you were with your mother when she was alive to you.

And she says, I don't know what your mother was thinking when she picked me to be your mother, considering I've never had children. I don't know what kind of mother I will be. But she picked me. And I appreciate that. And I understand now that our friendship was so great.

that she would rather you be with me than with your father. Not if there was anything wrong with the father, but she would rather, you know, because we've been friends and she understands who I am and she knows the person that I am and knowing that I would raise you the way she would raise you. So that to me is family, a friend that you could actually leave your child with when you're...

Shannon (37:44.403)
leaving this earth and say You know, this is this is who I trust Yeah, I trust you So that is the fiction of them. I'm feeling from beaches. So go watch beaches. It'll make you cry. Of course the ending definitely will make you cry So

Shun (37:48.366)
I trust you. Yes. That's amazing.

Shun (37:59.586)
Hehehehe

But I think that's an excellent example. I mean of all the things our money our clothes our cars I think I would probably my probably my my kids is somebody for my shoes But what I'm saying to you is if you trust someone to leave your kids with like that gotta be you know That's like a that's a testament of the love that you have. I think that's a great fictional family, honey a great one And I have seen beaches. I've been slacking on the movies lately, but I have seen that with Shannon

Shannon (38:11.061)
Yeah.

Shannon (38:15.437)
haha

Shannon (38:20.749)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (38:31.871)
You see beaches, how I... Yeah, I know it's so old.

Shun (38:33.006)
Have you ever seen Beats of Stephanie?

Stephanie (38:36.43)
It's very touching.

Shun (38:37.422)
I think it's a wonderful movie.

Shannon (38:38.189)
Yeah, makes you cry.

Shun (38:41.644)
All right.

Shannon (38:43.629)
All right, so that is it. That is it for tonight and until next week, we welcome all 32 countries now to tune in and we're so grateful for, you know, all of those who listen to us every week and we welcome you back next week. And we're so thankful for Dr. Stephanie for joining us tonight and we welcome you back anytime. It's been a great conversation with you.

Shun (38:51.198)
Yes!

Shun (39:10.254)
Thank you, friends.

Stephanie (39:12.334)
Thank you, I appreciate you being here. Fantastic.

Shun (39:13.326)
Great conversation.

Shannon (39:16.373)
Yeah.