Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:35.714)
Hey, I'm Shawn.

Shannon (00:38.565)
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun (00:39.318)
We're the host of wifey and baby mama welcome back family welcome back Happy Thursday we haven't said that in a while happy Thursday, baby mama It has been some months girl we've been premiering and breaking out and writing and

Shannon (00:45.073)
Come back, yes.

I know, feels like we've been gone forever. Happy Thursday.

Shun (01:02.712)
Producing and doing our thing y'all I told you we were on to new big and better things and Shannon and I released our first Production together that she co-wrote on and that I co-produced and it was good What the Bible say was not only good. It was very good So you all know or maybe I knew listeners don't know so we're gonna tell you that I have a book out there. It's called

Shannon (01:05.563)
Yes.

Shannon (01:16.561)
Talk about it. Talk about it. Talk about it.

Shun (01:26.752)
I love the Walsh should know and it's based on my autobiography and my co-host my partner my baby mama was gracious enough to give me an outline to bring this thing to the screen and She co-wrote it with another on gentlemen Phil Davis I'm here in Buffalo and we produced our first three episodes that is now out for testing on the market So give us a prayer y'all give us a shout out that it is picked up by a network and it is carried on for the seasons and

Shannon (01:50.801)
Yeah.

Shun (01:53.74)
Hey, we brought it to Charlotte. We have been in St. Louis. It has been in Alabama. Back in Buffalo, Buffalo in February, back in Buffalo, May 31st. Yeah, so we're outside.

Shannon (02:00.112)
Yeah.

Shannon (02:09.7)
That's all right. That's what we want to hear. I mean, it's been, it's received great reception from all of the different markets that you've been in. So I have to, I have to give you a great round of applause and say great job. And you know, the part that blew everyone away, blew everyone.

Shun (02:19.074)
Yes.

Yes.

Shun (02:27.139)
Ha ha!

Shannon (02:38.189)
is your acting everyone said what in the world?

Shun (02:42.142)
Saving that little bit Shannon. I was saving that little bit. I don't want to give it away No, no, no, I was saving it before we went off air cuz I'm like I want to make sure I do okay before I mention that put it they see the movement be like, that's her So now that everyone said I did. Okay. Okay. It's okay to mention it

Shannon (02:45.804)
I'm sorry, you can sit.

Shannon (02:55.574)
Yes. my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to shame anyone involved. mean, everyone did a great job, but you did. It was like you've been doing this your whole life. I said, what in the world? But yeah, yeah.

Shun (03:00.76)
So thank you, baby mama. No, no, no, I know.

Shun (03:12.558)
Shannon You are too kind Well, let me tell you that girl that I met out of Atlanta Shannon saw the she saw the episodes They reached out to me to do another acting part in a show that's gonna be in film in Atlanta. I'm like, no, I'm not an actress She said but you are so say a little prayer for me. So I'll be reading for that in like two weeks So

Shannon (03:22.117)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (03:28.537)
wow.

yeah.

Shannon (03:39.188)
Okay, yes, we will be. Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

Shun (03:40.372)
I guess I did okay baby mama. I was like I don't know but you know Shannon when you wrote it I you know reading it I'm like I have to do this. I didn't think anyone else could deliver what I needed to be delivered in that moment. I mean who better than the person that lived through it you know what I'm saying and that's not always the case.

Shannon (03:55.077)
Yeah, yeah. yeah, well, no, it's not. Because I was going to say, you got plenty of people that try to act and be themselves in parts. You know, you've seen people in sitcoms you know, and they're just stiff and... I'm like, but you're playing yourself.

Shun (04:07.246)
Didn't work out. Didn't quite go. You messed that up. Well, hey, like you said, I've seen it done and I was quite nervous. But God, know, when you got God on your side, you know, you walk in a different realm. And I just prayed each and every set. I said, Lord, this is not, you know, what I set out to do. But if it's your will, you know, I didn't do that part to become an actress, but I guess he may have other plans.

Shannon (04:26.392)
Yeah, yeah.

Shun (04:36.034)
We'll see where it goes. And you just keep on writing girl. You never know. All right. So thank you for that, Shannon. I do appreciate you. I know that was like with your job, your husband. I know that was a lot to undertake. So we are dream team y'all. And that's why we're here. That's why our podcast is in season five y'all. We do what it takes as girlfriends, as wives of other husbands, as children's parents, know, co-parenting together, sharing the same kids father. do what we do to make

Shannon (04:37.136)
That's right. You never know.

I will.

Shannon (04:52.802)
yeah.

Shannon (05:02.49)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (05:41.422)
So after a long cold winter guys that spilled over into a little spring I don't know about Charlotte down at Shannon but Buffalo is going still a little bit Okay, we still got a heat on just on low. But anyways

Shannon (05:44.93)
Okay, so yeah, we will.

Shannon (05:53.202)
Yes.

Shannon (06:02.586)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (06:09.721)
my gosh. Yeah.

Shun (06:09.932)
We are persevering guys and with that cold weather we still decided we gonna get on back in so we promised you may We slid in here in the last Thursday, but hey, it's still May we kept our word So here we are episode one of season five as we promised Now we know yeah, we know some of you thought you know, we would be like, no, they're not coming back You know, they tired they ain't got that much in it. The devil is a liar

Shannon (06:21.568)
Yeah, it's still me.

Shannon (06:29.356)
All right.

Shannon (06:36.688)
Yeah, yeah, not only are we here, yeah, but not only are we here, but I have to give, you know, lot of kudos to those around the world that even though we were gone for, you know, these five months or so, the people around the globe continue to download and listen to us.

Shun (06:38.23)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are here the devil is a liar

Shun (07:03.138)
Talk about it, rise.

Shannon (07:05.724)
and give feedback. said, man, they're just, you know, even people just listening to the latest episode for the first time, they didn't even listen to anything from the first seasons. They just picked up on, I guess, they start for the titles and things like that. well, yeah, I know. Yeah. Don't please don't go back to the first season.

Shun (07:18.54)
Well, that might be a good thing.

We were so stiff. Hey, stay right here. No need to diggin' up the past, y'all. Come on, just join us. Jump right in. I'm just kidding. Hey, it's nothing we're ashamed of. You living here? No. We have grown so much.

Shannon (07:29.36)
Yeah, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is so, I know nothing we're ashamed of. And yeah, and seeing, yeah, and picking up all these additional countries. So even since we signed off, we got our badge of honor for 50 countries. And we've even surpassed that since we announced that on social media.

Shun (07:53.354)
Yes! Okay, give us another round of applause, girl.

Shannon (08:00.075)
Yeah, even since we announced that. Yes, we've even gone beyond. Yes. Yes. So now we're probably closer to 60, but I'll get an official count at some point in the season. yeah, we're just worldwide. So love it and love everyone that support us and listen and much appreciated.

Shun (08:01.899)
Yes!

Shun (08:05.902)
50 countries guys.

Shun (08:11.95)
Bye!

Shun (08:25.336)
We thank you all we thank you now now. I'm not gonna lie y'all I'm a little bit tired until a little bit tired, but wife and baby mama It's not gonna be the sacrificial lamb here now like This show is far too important. This podcast is important to us It's important to our community of listeners, you know from all the emails like Shannon said the steady growth in our numbers the DMS that we get you know We're making a difference and as long as God gives us breath and health

Shannon (08:29.168)
Yeah.

Shannon (08:47.674)
Yeah.

Shannon (08:51.759)
Yeah.

Shun (08:53.976)
We're gonna show up for you guys because you are showing up for us man and we appreciate it so much.

Shannon (08:58.8)
Yeah, we do. We do.

Shun (09:00.898)
You know, we like to have fun, you know, make you guys smile. We make you think with the topics we bring, you know, we make you guys get into it. And hopefully, well, no, not hopefully, we know from our emails and DMs that we are changing lives and relationships. And tonight we're going to get deep again. So are you ready, Shannon? All right, let's go. Episode one is titled, Don't Pass the Torch.

Shannon (09:19.928)
Yes we are. I'm ready. Let's do it.

Shun (09:28.11)
Now, usually when we think of passing the torch, Shannon, it's a good thing. You want to pass it, right? Well, not in tonight's topic. For the first episode, Shannon and I thought this would be a good topic for our seasoned listeners and more even for our new fam. We may have listened to it for the first time. Our podcast, as most of you know, is geared towards blended families, family, love, know, relationship and just life. And tonight we want to discuss men and women who didn't see their mothers properly loved.

Shannon (09:33.252)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shun (09:58.146)
Those individuals usually grow into adults who are emotionally unavailable for their spouses. And in a lot of cases, Shannon, for their kids, especially sons. And I'm gonna touch on that because I see the difference in male and female, you know, when it comes to that even in my home, because I unfortunately have one of those spouses that I had to, I don't want to call them unlearn. We had to unlearn the passing of that unemotional torch. And what happens is these children inherit these traits.

Shannon (10:07.066)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Shannon (10:25.936)
Bye.

Shun (10:28.214)
And now we're left with generation of loveless relationships and not so much as emotional as it is physical, Shanna, like they don't know how to hug. They don't know how to hold hands, you know? And my husband, for example, he didn't come from a family that hugged and kissed and said, I love you, you know, as you're leaving for work or leaving for school. But however, Shanna, as you may have experienced, but you guys were not together in our capacity, but you worked for a while and you share a child, he will give you the shirt off his back.

Shannon (10:36.898)
Right, right. Yeah.

Shannon (10:53.423)
Mm-hmm.

Right. yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Shun (10:56.822)
And that's his I love you. That's his I love you. He loves very hard in a giving way, but not so much an emotional way.

Shannon (11:03.404)
I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah, that is the truth. That's one thing I can't say about him. He, you know, would give anything, you know. If you say you're hungry, he's running to get you something to eat. If you say, you know, whatever, you know, you don't have to worry about that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. huh. And but like you said, when you grow up a certain way, like for me even,

Shun (11:13.517)
Yeah.

Shun (11:17.39)
Exactly. You can have his food even. You can have this.

Shannon (11:34.725)
which I know will touch on even more, but I have a lot of regret when it comes to my son because I grew up that way. My mother, you know, did the best she could providing. Of course, we never wanted for anything, clothing, food, shelter. We had the best of best, you know, we were Air Force brats or whatever. But when it came to that emotional connection, we didn't have it because she didn't have it from her mother.

Shun (11:48.174)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (12:02.042)
So then I in turn did not give it to my son. And Sean, you've noticed when you go to hug Jay, he stiffens up. He doesn't just do that with you. He does it with everybody. It's like, ooh, ooh, who's touching me? Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Shun (12:07.02)
Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. It's like that torch was passed to him and Jamila, to both my daughter and Jay. And I'm going to tell you something, Shannon. It's almost even like with their father, I would first, like I said, he's much better now, but it was almost like a form of embarrassment when you would hug him in public or go to kiss him, you know, or we'd be out and someone I'm like, I'm leaving sweetheart, I love you. And he'd look at me like, what, why did you say that? You know? And I was like, what's wrong with him?

Shannon (12:32.27)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (12:41.39)
Did you say what to do? Why? Like what's happening? But I learned over the years it was like it was like so it was like almost offensive to him.

Shannon (12:47.834)
Yeah, yeah.

Shun (12:52.913)
Because he wasn't taught that

Shannon (12:53.22)
Yeah. But one person I can say that Jay, he doesn't mind being hugged up with, and that's his grandmother in Buffalo, getting in the bed with her because she was very affectionate with him more so than me. Well, not more so, of course, all the way. So their interaction is very

Shun (13:05.133)
Okay.

Shannon (13:22.51)
very good and you know I'm I'm grateful that he got the love from her or the affection I shouldn't say love because of course I love my son always have loved him and you know gave him the world it's just the yeah the affection the physical touch the you know let's curl up on a couch and watch a movie together now I would give anything to have had that you know with him yeah yeah he's a grown man he's like don't touch me right

Shun (13:31.308)
Right, it's just the affection.

Shun (13:42.766)
to do that, but now he's a grown man. You know what I'm saying?

But let me tell you that it's so strange that you say, he got that from his mother. That's also the same mother that didn't give it to her son. So you see, it's almost like being a grandparent. It's like your second chance to get it right. You get what I'm saying? Because he did not receive that from his mom. You know what I mean? Not that she didn't love him just like you. Now we can all stand here 10 toes down, 11, 12, 20 hands and say,

Shannon (13:52.624)
you

Shannon (13:59.781)
His grandmother.

Bye.

Shannon (14:09.066)
wow, wow.

Shun (14:18.402)
that his mother would just, she would go to the ends of the earth back for her son. She loves Jimmy no doubt hands down, but he was not taught that affectionate part of it. And it's just so, it's just so funny to see how it doubles back to his son and my daughter and even our baby son. Like she loves those kids like no other. Like her, her world lights up when the kids walk in the room. And if my daughter like don't go see her because see we live where Jay live with you guys, you guys live with.

Shannon (14:23.267)
yeah, my gosh yes. No doubt.

Shannon (14:39.216)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

where.

Shun (14:47.554)
his mom for a while. Remember we left when Jamila was young. She was raised in the bulk of her adult life down south, her young teenage life, let's say that. She would come here for summers for a month or two. So her and his mom don't have the connection that she and Jay has because Jay kind of spent a lot of his younger years with grandma, right? But she still says, hey, where's Jamila? You know, she still says, I haven't heard from you a while, but I can tell that her connection with my daughter is not the same with the other grandkids who grew up with her. And that's something totally different.

Shannon (14:48.56)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (14:57.304)
Okay.

Shannon (15:04.686)
Okay. Yes, he did.

Shun (15:17.676)
than passing the torch. So I don't want to confuse the two. Because she definitely loves and hugs on her grandkids. She loves Jamila and Frank and all of her grandkids. But it's just really funny that her son, you know, for whatever reason, he didn't get that and hit the torch was passed to him. Like, it's not like, get off of me. When you're hugging him, it's almost like, So now that he's older, you know, of course we don't we don't have that anymore. But Shannon, I can share with you those were hard years to go through.

Shannon (15:19.104)
Mm-hmm. right, right. Yeah, totally different.

Shannon (15:29.008)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (15:41.808)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (15:46.442)
I almost left him numerous times because I couldn't take that rejection because I was loved. Like my mom hugged me. I was used to affection. I was used to getting kissed and saying, I was used to that. So I'm like, I can't live like this. It's cold hearted. But I had to stay and pray and counsel long enough to understand it wasn't me. That's who he was. But.

Shannon (15:48.164)
Right.

Shannon (16:03.952)
Yeah.

Shannon (16:10.032)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shun (16:12.576)
You know, I actually think it's kind of hereditary, like I said, because Jamila and Jay were both raised when they didn't spend a lot of time around their father, you know, in the younger years because he wasn't here. But they're the same kid. They're both kind of emotionless. You know, you got to kind of pull it out of them. Now, just like, you know, Jay loves you. I know my daughter loves me. You know, she returns a hug if I give it to her, but she's not like the other three children.

Shannon (16:17.85)
Yeah.

Shannon (16:25.454)
Right, right, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Right, Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (16:40.896)
My other three kids are running to the door, beating the door to hi, ma. It's like I've been gone 20 minutes. I've been gone literally a half hour, like whatever. But she's not like that. She like, hey, you know, I'm like, OK, well, a good thing I had three more kids. I felt like a failure because that's just who they are, though. So just like her dad, I had to learn her love language as well.

Shannon (16:45.904)
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (17:02.852)
Bye.

Shannon (17:07.118)
Yeah. So what do you think when you think about, I know you said you struggled initially, what do you think are other effects of people growing up this way? Because I wonder if that might be the reason why Jay's not married. If he's emotionally unavailable, things like that. I don't know. What are your thoughts?

Shun (17:27.406)
yeah?

Yeah, I say that and guess what? Jamila's not in relationship either Jamila's never been in a long-term relationship. It's like I know a few puppet love like the boy She went prom when she talked to him for a little while. It was one guy She was kind of attached to down south. He ended up going to the army, but I don't I don't see I'm just gonna be totally honest with you I will be very in all shock and relieved if I ever see that girl get married because it's just like she's in her own world

Shannon (17:43.162)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (17:57.402)
Okay.

Shun (17:58.816)
And Jays into video games. It's like they live in their own world Jays into baseball work. Jamila is a workaholic. I don't think Shannon Jamila's a workaholic. I don't Jimmy's a workaholic. I don't think honestly, I think there's a chance because look at Jimmy and I but I honestly think it truly has to be an intervention of counseling of faith It can't just be

Shannon (18:03.428)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Jay's a workaholic, yeah.

Shannon (18:13.113)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (18:26.38)
They can't just turn and say one day, I'm going to love this person. I'm going to find me somebody to love. I honestly don't think without assistance and coaching that they're capable. That's just my opinion because it took me a lot of years, you know, to get, and I'm telling you, I almost walked out a few times, but can it happen? I absolutely believe anything can happen because you know, I believe that God created someone for all of us. And I believe that I was Jimmy someone who broke him out of that shell.

Shannon (18:26.533)
Hmm.

Shannon (18:31.438)
Right.

Shannon (18:36.514)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shannon (18:52.285)
yeah, for sure.

Shun (18:56.138)
So it's, guess, a matter sharing the meeting the right one.

Shannon (18:56.496)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I guess so. And when I think about, you just made me think of something. Cause you, you know, you've loved Jimmy for a long time, you know, for many, many years since you were young. And I look at me, was, no, but I look at, you know, my life and how I guess I was similar to Jay, you know, look how long it took me to settle down and get married because I could not, you know, I just could not find

Shun (19:08.974)
I hope it don't take that long, but go ahead.

Shun (19:22.572)
All right.

Shannon (19:29.2)
what I considered a true connection until I met this crazy man I'm with now. until I found him, I said, you know, he didn't fit the mode or the model of anyone I'd ever had in my life. When I tell you outside the box, you know, it was totally out there. So maybe.

Shun (19:34.05)
Ha ha ha ha!

Shannon (19:57.487)
Maybe that Jay needs someone like that. don't know. Someone that's totally outside the box. Yeah, it doesn't fit the mode that he's.

Shun (19:59.054)
That's totally outside of the box. Maybe. Because I think I've spoken about it on this show with my mom and dad. The difference in my father and my mother, I think I've spoken. That my father was like your mother. He was very financially available. It was really nothing that I've ever asked my father for. I literally can count on my hand, Shannon, how many times that man told me no in a lifetime, okay? And I had dad for what, 40, 45 years?

Shannon (20:13.902)
Yeah.

Shannon (20:18.181)
Yeah.

Shannon (20:25.936)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (20:28.822)
And I can tell you, he rarely told me no, but I can also probably count the times he said, I love you too on those same hands because that's just who he was. And my mother on the other hand was not a very good mother as we've all discussed, not to her own fault. You know, she, had an addiction, but she loved me like no other. You understand what I'm saying? So it's just crazy how that works. She was very loving and my father was totally, and now I don't know that.

Shannon (20:36.604)
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shannon (20:46.009)
Right.

Shannon (20:54.648)
Right.

Shun (20:56.814)
speaks to why they didn't stay together very long. It just is what it is. So maybe it's just that matter of finding that one person, you know, that brings that out of you. I don't know. We talk about passing the torch in a sense of, which is what our topic here tonight, if you're just throwing in offenses. I want to bring that up. think you said, Chan, I think we've talked about that in previous show. When Denzel provided, he went to work every day to a job that he absolutely hated.

Shannon (21:01.2)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shannon (21:22.042)
Yeah.

Shun (21:25.198)
That he was above, but he did what he had to do for his family. And his son told him, you know, in that one powerful scene, you don't like me. And he said, I don't have to like you. I don't even have to love you. He said, it's my job to put food on your table. It's my job to put clothes on your back. And you know, that broke my heart because I stood myself in that moment, Shannon. And I felt that way sometimes about my mother, like she can't like me. Like there's no way she likes me. She could not keep hurting me like this. But you know what kept me going is that she loved me.

Shannon (21:35.439)
and

Shannon (21:45.263)
Yeah.

Shannon (21:50.38)
huh.

Shun (21:55.446)
and that I knew. So I guess it's just a matter Shannon of getting to know the person, you know. And I'm gonna tell you something, if you are unhealed person, please don't get with another unhealed person. Trauma bonding is one of the worst things that I have ever seen and it's one of the worst things to detach from. So if you are a person and you meet a person, cause you don't know, Shannon we talked about this in a previous show, people show their representative sometimes, you don't know.

Shannon (21:57.251)
Right, right.

Shannon (22:02.501)
Yeah.

Shannon (22:09.942)
yeah.

Shannon (22:17.678)
Yeah.

Shun (22:25.25)
who you're meeting day one, day two, or even month three. You don't know who you have. But as those layers peel back and you see that these, yeah, my dad did this too. yeah, I was raped. you know, terrible things have happened in your lives, right?

Shannon (22:25.518)
All right, yeah.

Shannon (22:42.28)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (22:42.67)
I don't think that might not be the person. If you find yourself constantly bumping head and comparing war stories, that might not be the person to heal what. I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm just saying, if you have a choice, try not to trauma bond, because usually that's the bond. It's not really the love and relationship that you're looking that will bring you out of it. Usually that is the connection, the trauma. And people just don't need to feed off of that. You know what I'm saying?

Shannon (22:50.616)
Yeah.

Shannon (22:54.757)
Right.

Shannon (23:06.796)
Yeah, exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shun (23:09.642)
So don't pass the torch in that way either don't pass it down from to your grandchildren. Don't pass it down to your children Don't pass it to your spouse and don't pass it to your significant other before they become your spouse Don't pass those torches, you know, so I think shannon in my in my opinion I was created, you know for jimmy And I think that's why I was able to love him through I think in your case you and will were created for each other

Shannon (23:23.568)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (23:34.448)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (23:39.116)
And that's why you're able to keep showing up and making it work. You know what I'm saying? But these were not things that we, I can tell you, Shannon, I can honestly say that I love my husband and I hope that the last breath I take will be in his face and I'll never have to do this again. But if I had a choice, I definitely wouldn't have chose that. I think it's what God chose for me. You know what I mean? That was very hard for me to go through.

Shannon (23:40.761)
Right.

Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (24:02.18)
Yeah, yeah, I could see. Mm-hmm, yeah.

Shun (24:07.124)
It was a very hard for me to go through. But I tell you this, I'm glad he chose me because I wouldn't want him wandering in the world the rest of his life in the condition, the emotional state that he was in.

Shannon (24:08.932)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (24:14.288)
Right.

Shannon (24:20.238)
Right.

Shun (24:38.638)
Okay, I would say that for whatever reason God chose me to be with him. I'm glad it was me Because I wouldn't want him to walk around and that emotional state the rest of his life and not Experience the love that we now share and I don't know if any other woman would have been able to stand there Ten toes down and just rectify and give that to him But I loved him enough God created a heart for me to love him enough to to get rid of that to burn that torch Shannon

Shannon (24:46.391)
huh, right.

Shannon (24:55.98)
Exactly.

Shannon (25:02.052)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (25:08.206)
So send it up in flames and now I have a husband who can love me. He ain't all mushy. I don't think he'll ever be that way. But what we come to, I can deal with now. You know what I'm saying?

Shannon (25:10.33)
Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (25:17.552)
Right.

And like we've spoken about several different times and I know people say, here you go again talking about the same thing, but the opposites, how you and Jimmy are opposite me and Will, because Will is you. He is the mushy, he is the, oh baby, baby, baby, want to, let's hug and be cuddled up all the time, that type of thing. And I'm like, ah, ah.

But he's made me a lot more caring and affectionate. when he comes in the door and he's just kissing all on me, before I'd like, oh, get away, get away. Now it's like, OK, let's go sit down, color up, watch a movie. He's very, very affectionate. And he wears his heart on his sleeve full of emotion. When I tell you.

Shun (25:59.662)
you

Shannon (26:19.472)
you know, it's nothing for him to shed a tear. And I'm looking at him initially, of course, when we first got together. like, are you crying? Why are you crying? And so if anyone ever saw him, you would never look at him and think that because he's this big burly truck driver, you know, or whatever. And people, when I tell them stories about him, it's hard for them to believe it sometimes.

Shun (26:24.504)
Right.

Right.

Shun (26:47.042)
because of his outer appearance.

Shannon (26:48.432)
But he did exactly because of how he looks on. Yeah. But his mother, you know, and his father, he received a lot of love from them. He knew that they cared, even though his mother died when he was young, when he was 13, he still has these tender stories about her, you know, yeah, how she loved him and, you know, making sure him and his siblings had, you know,

Shun (27:08.885)
she loved him.

Shannon (27:18.148)
affection and he remembers the last kiss she gave him because he got that. I don't remember any kiss I got when I was a child from my mother or my father for that matter. Even though my father was loving, I was so far away from him. So of course I wouldn't have those memories unless we came to visit, yeah, the distance. But for Will, he did have a lot of that. So I can see how that torch

Shun (27:26.264)
Wow.

Shun (27:35.576)
The distance played a part in that.

Shannon (27:47.35)
you know, was passed from his parents to him, which is a good torch to pass.

Shun (27:51.086)
And now he displays that to you. Absolutely. And Shannon, real quick, before I wrap up, I won't even say with you and I, our torches. Like you're the, and I'm the mushy here, even in our dynamic, you know what I mean? I'll call her like, Shannon, know, I think I need to get this story. You're like, girl, I'll write it. Like get off my phone, I'll write it. So even in our dynamic, it's like, you know, I'm the mushy and you're like, okay, you know, you're the tough girl.

Shannon (28:02.394)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

Shannon (28:15.664)
Right, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Shun (28:18.71)
It's just very the opposite to track it sometimes is needed, you know, I would say sometimes is needed I heard once her tdj say real quick and I'll wrap up that if Everyone in your circle or everyone you think so like are you the same person you're in the wrong circle? So sometimes it's needed to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum But not in relationships. I don't think that is good to both be Unaffectionate I don't think that's really good for you both to be that way sometimes

Shannon (28:42.192)
All

Shannon (28:46.93)
Exactly. Yeah.

Shun (28:47.342)
And I think I said nine relationships. meant in relationship in relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to be on opposite end of the spectrum, but sometimes it's good to both be mushy, mushy. Like I think that's the best, but if you can't have it mushy, mushy, you got to teach the tough guy how to love. You know, if you're already in it to win it, you know, stay in it. If it's what you're running into and you feel like you just don't like it, then you have our, our permission. If it's just dating to reevaluate that thing, because it's very hard to go through. And I'm not saying

Shannon (28:53.754)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (28:59.344)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (29:04.536)
huh.

Shannon (29:11.376)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (29:16.472)
Fight for your love. You just shouldn't fight with love. That's all I'm saying. So Shandee, you have anything else before we wrap it up?

Shannon (29:17.393)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (29:22.028)
Right. Yeah. Yeah.

think we're gonna need a part two of this. And the reason I say that, let me tell you, before we wrap it up is, when we think about not passing the torch, one thing that I thought about when we had our discussion about this topic is, I look at things that my mother did that passed down to me that didn't necessarily pass that.

Shun (29:28.61)
You think so?

Shannon (29:55.705)
My other siblings didn't get my two other sisters are very, you know, I guess they're a lot more emotional or emotionally connected to like my oldest sister to her husband and her child and my youngest sister to her child and was to her ex-husband. And I was more like my mother and my mother.

You know was pregnant at 15 and was married at 16 and Yeah, yeah Well, not that one that far that long ago, but yeah Yeah Today yeah, you're right. You're right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, right

Shun (30:27.31)
Mm-hmm.

Okay, my mom too. That's so weird, but go ahead. But that was normal back in those days.

Shun (30:37.91)
Well, my mom, my mom, yeah, I mean, it wasn't as uncommon as it would be today is what I'm saying. I guess not normal, but it wasn't as uncommon as it is today. I guess I should rephrase that, but I get what you're saying.

Shannon (30:51.888)
And when I think about the torch, when I ended up pregnant at 19, having a child at 19, my mother was very disappointed. She was so angry and didn't think, OK, maybe I showed her whatever. That torch, she didn't think she passed that to me, I guess, is why I'm thinking maybe another part two of this is needed because

Shun (31:13.8)
Mmm. she was disappointed.

Shannon (31:20.524)
She thought I had ruined the reputation and the life or whatever. And I'm not knocking my mother. love my mother. Everyone knows. my God. And I hate to these disclaimers. But yeah. Yeah.

Shun (31:31.246)
Speaking your truth. But you have to because people who are new to the show who haven't heard us, who don't know about Family Dime, you don't want them to think, oh, it was a bad relationship. It was not. We're simply speaking our truths and our truths were given to us to help other people in our situation. So we give the disclaimers just to let you know, just to keep it all in check here. So go ahead.

Shannon (31:41.549)
Right.

It was then. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Shannon (31:51.691)
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you. Thank you. So a lot of times people don't realize they are passing a torch. They might in their mind, because in my mother's mind, she says, here you are. You had the best life. You're educated. You're this and that. You grew up, you know, pretty much privileged. And here you are going to get pregnant, become a teenage, you know, mother.

Shun (32:15.182)
a statistic.

Shannon (32:16.718)
when my other sisters didn't do that. She's like, look at them, look at them. And I will never forget when my youngest sister went off to college, because I went off to college and had to drop out due to having a baby. But when my youngest sister went off to college, my mother told her, told her, don't you go up there and get pregnant like Shannon.

Shun (32:26.702)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Shun (32:40.962)
Wow. Wow.

Shannon (32:43.632)
Yeah, and you know, so she didn't look at, you know, here I was herself. Exactly. So this whole passing the torch thing, you know, some people don't realize that they're doing it. So some self-awareness and understanding that sometimes you can't help it. But if you're you're

Shun (32:50.03)
I made a mistake.

Shannon (33:13.1)
Hearing us speak tonight, maybe it'll make some folks a little more self-aware of what they've got going on or what they're doing. And definitely not to hold it against those who do make mistakes, you know, because hey, life, it does, it happens, it really does.

Shun (33:33.884)
happens.

and sometimes you run into jimmies and they ruin your life. No, I'm just kidding.

Shannon (33:43.088)
I know you're so crazy. I know you do.

Shun (33:44.398)
I'm just kidding. I know I love my baby, but listen It's funny because you got Jay. He you got pregnant Jay. He dropped out of college I dropped out of college trying to go get pregnant. Okay, cuz I was after that boy What simply is out here just wrecking people and I'm just But anyways, hey didn't I say make you laugh? That's what they come here for a Saturday. No, I'm gonna they don't I'm gonna give them a good laugh but anyways in spite of what you just said

Shannon (33:55.632)
it

Shannon (34:01.582)
Shannon (34:07.312)
Yes, yes, you are.

Shun (34:11.958)
I think we'll do something untraditional. I think we'll hold a wrap up. We're gonna finish part two of what happens when you pass the torch. We'll come back with that next week. We'll come back that and we'll share some stories because guess what? It does happen. Look at Shannon and I. So we'll come back with part two. We're gonna save our wrap up. But what I will give you tonight, I will give you tonight is our new segment, which is the sound off segment. Shannon, you wanna take us through it?

Shannon (34:13.968)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (34:20.756)
yeah, we will.

Shannon (34:27.499)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (34:41.2)
All right.

Shun (34:43.67)
All right, so as I mentioned quite a few times in all of our other episodes, if you guys are for our new family, we've been fighting with this one second. We've had some challenges with it. So over our break, have did some surveys and it comes to our, guess, what's the lack of a better word, Shannon? It comes to our attention that we,

Shannon (34:56.143)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (35:06.892)
Attention,

Shun (35:09.438)
We'll we will now circle back to the music segment We used to have one called name that tune or and people we would say segments of the song They don't like that part. So what we will do season five and moving forward. We have planted our feet We have found our being we we will name it Sound off segment and we're just going to give you a song every Thursday that you know lines up with our topic and just get a little give you a little more musical history give you a little more musical

Shannon (35:14.276)
Yeah.

Shannon (35:26.64)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (35:36.834)
breakout. Some songs people had never heard that we mentioned so they kind of like that. So what we're going to do is give you a song you go and you listen to it either add to your genre or set yourself. Man I heard that one in around it sounds so sweet. And tonight that song is Peebo Bryson.

Shannon (35:49.53)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (35:55.848)
I don't have the heart. Shannon, do you remember that song?

Shannon (36:00.73)
He will practice and no, I do not.

Shun (36:01.326)
Now I need you to go listen because now you gonna get your black. You know it I just gave it back to you at the premiere. I'm gonna take it again Shannon I don't have the heart by people bracing up. That's your assignment for tonight Also, we will call this sound off segment So if you have any songs that you would like Shannon and I to put with the topic because y'all know we are very creative and we can get it done or you may be an independent artist looking to be heard send your suggestions to wifey and baby mama at gmail.com

Shannon (36:10.828)
Alright

Okay.

Shannon (36:22.532)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (36:30.434)
That's wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com. And we'll do our best to put your music in the people's ear. So that is our segment for tonight. Shannon, take us out.

Shannon (36:39.642)
Yeah.

Shannon (36:44.204)
All right, until next week, we look forward to another Thursday night with you all. Enjoy.

Shun (36:52.994)
We love you. Bye.