Daddy's Girls
Download MP3Shun:
Hey, I'm Sean.
Shannon:
and I'm Shannon.
Shun:
We're the host of wifey and baby mama. Happy Thursday family We are honored
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
to have you joining us again this week And before we get into tonight's episode I just want to quickly remind everyone about our fall giveaway for the months of October November and December Along with the hundred dollars wifey and baby mama gives away on every third Thursday of the month for those three months We will also be giving away a copy of my novel of love the world should know And we don't want you to wait too late to get your submissions in as October is rolling up on us quickly. So Get those submissions in And
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
now that the business is out of the way Let's get into next topic title daddy's girls now ladies You know what was coming
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
We played fair uh shannon and I brought I hope what we thought some insight into the mama boys of the world on last week as well as to the mothers that's producing the mothers boys. So when the time comes, you know, for them to become men, it won't be a battle for them to grow up, you know, or an assignment for another woman just to take them on and love them, you know. It is our hope that our advice and mistakes that we've made along the way in this thing called help someone else along the way.
Shannon:
Right. Yeah, I hope so. And, you know, and, and I know we don't want to come off as preachy. However,
Shun:
No, not at all.
Shannon:
we want you to take our experiences and, you know, whether you learn something from it and it might be a nugget that you can't use right now that, you know, a couple of years down the road you remember, wait a minute, Sean said this or Shannon said that. So just file it away if you need to or don't. You might say, okay, I just listened to you girls cause I wanna hear something funny or whatever. But we're hoping we get something across and not come off as know it alls or we don't have degrees in this. We're not doctors of psychology or psychiatry or whatever. We're just trying to help you all learn from things that we've learned from and. We recognize our unique situation. And I know there are plenty of other baby mamas and wifeys that get along or whatever, but it's still rare. You
Shun:
Absolutely.
Shannon:
really don't find that. So that's what we're hoping
Shun:
and
Shannon:
and praying that you take away from
Shun:
Right, and while
Shannon:
this
Shun:
you
Shannon:
podcast.
Shun:
don't want to sound preachy, Shannon, you said you don't want us to
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
sound preachy, but if it's a word, it's a word, and go ahead and take
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
it. So,
Shannon:
you got that.
Shun:
if it's a word, it's a word, and if it ain't, like she said,
Shannon:
Right, right,
Shun:
don't take
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
it. But again, we're just giving you our experience, because we wish we had women like us,
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
when we were
Shannon:
yes,
Shun:
coming up, probably would have curbed
Shannon:
oh
Shun:
a lot
Shannon:
my
Shun:
of
Shannon:
gosh.
Shun:
our crazy behavior.
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
So,
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
during last week's episode, we gave you some signs and behavior that women need to be aware of, right? Look out for if you plan on starting a committed relationship with a man that is going to be long-term So this week we want to give the fellas a few pointers and as well try to inform dads Why it's unhealthy to raise his daughters to be untouchable now any of our listeners should know I'm a dad is girl without a doubt and Shannon. I'm gonna go ahead and tell on you
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
too
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
in case
Shannon:
you
Shun:
they
Shannon:
know
Shun:
don't know
Shannon:
I am. Yeah,
Shun:
We
Shannon:
you
Shun:
both
Shannon:
know I
Shun:
fall
Shannon:
am.
Shun:
in that category
Shannon:
Oh my God. And I'm not ashamed. So for people that don't know, I go by Shannon, of course, everyone, all my friends, family, whatever they know. But my first name really is L, which is my father's name. And he never called me Shannon the entire time that I've been on this earth. I was always L to him. And so since he passed, Um in 2021 i've embraced my first name. So now
Shun:
Aww.
Shannon:
Everywhere i'm at, you know at work and everywhere people are now calling me l and they're like, you know, who is who what what? And i'm like, yeah, i'm l now um, and I hate that I never um, You know embraced
Shun:
embraced
Shannon:
it.
Shun:
it before.
Shannon:
Well, I shouldn't say hate it I shouldn't say hate it, you know, because of course my mother even though she named me l She called me shannon and so that made everyone else call me by my middle name But now, I was always closer to him. And I know Sean, we have that connection with our fathers. We're
Shun:
And that's
Shannon:
just daddy's
Shun:
so hilarious
Shannon:
girls.
Shun:
because you know my name is Yvette, but I use Sean
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
on the show because my father refused to call me Yvette. My middle name is
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
LaShawn, but he would just call me Sean. And that's why, that's how I came, so that's really funny.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
And that's actually a unique side of you. I guess we didn't know we had in common, right? That's
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
funny.
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
So that's
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
why I use Sean, because that's what my father called me. But I didn't wait to embrace him, just kidding. He just called me Sean and he did more than any, you know, so my whole family calls me Sean.
Shannon:
No.
Shun:
If you hear people calling me that is because they just met me it's a business thing
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
Or you know, it's just they just haven't been around my family So
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
and I can't
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
even I gotta back that up because we had to interview with tomorrow Remember, she's called me a vet all of my life, but it's
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
because
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
I
Shannon:
there
Shun:
went
Shannon:
are
Shun:
into
Shannon:
people.
Shun:
her family I went into her family. You see
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
she didn't come into mine. So that's
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
why she knew
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
me from school in event So I end up living with her friend family. So they embraced the vet because that's how they met
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
me So for
Shannon:
Yep.
Shun:
all these years she called me a vet. But other than that, anybody close to me, you know, it's Sean. So
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
I get it. I totally get it. So my journey as a daddy's girl was interesting. And not because he was my absolute most favorite person on the whole planet, you know. But I mean, that's true. But the fact is, it didn't have any effect on me as a woman when it came to relationships. And I'm so thankful for that, you know. He let me make my own mistakes. And he patched me up when I got it wrong, you know. But his
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
teachings. is why I'm solid when it comes to bouncing back and trust. Every fall
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
that
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
I've had was my own pickings, you know?
Shannon:
And that's the interesting thing, you know, compared to our topic last week and this one, you know, it seems mothers or women have a lot more influence. As close as you and I were to our dads, when which we both were, and we've discussed this, I mean, to the point where, I mean, a lot of people don't realize, but when my father died, It was like the end for me. I didn't care about living myself. So to go through life and not have that, yes, he was my father, but he didn't control me the way mothers do their sons, meaning
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
like our conversation last week, a mama's boy versus a daddy's girl. It's like, yeah, we're daddy's girl, but it's a different type of influence on your life, so to speak.
Shun:
And now and in some cases though, it's exactly the same. So you just
Shannon:
Oh,
Shun:
you
Shannon:
give
Shun:
know,
Shannon:
me
Shun:
it's
Shannon:
an
Shun:
just
Shannon:
example.
Shun:
we
Shannon:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shun:
We just
Shannon:
Give me
Shun:
fell
Shannon:
an example.
Shun:
on that side of it. Um, I Mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if the people will know who I know But I'll give you an example just in layman's terms I have a girlfriend that honors and adores her father. He honored and adores her and if daddy don't approve She's not she's not dating. That's
Shannon:
Okay,
Shun:
what I mean.
Shannon:
okay,
Shun:
If daddy
Shannon:
okay
Shun:
doesn't
Shannon:
gotcha.
Shun:
approve
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
like Get what I'm saying. So in a sense,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that's kind of the same thing. You
Shannon:
Yeah
Shun:
know what I'm
Shannon:
it
Shun:
saying
Shannon:
is it is yeah
Shun:
and You know, I while he didn't influence like my date in life. He meant let me make my own choices Had I followed the advice he gave me when it came to dating and marriage? I probably wouldn't have had so many wounds either, you know, and I will admit Once I stepped into that woman that he always told me I should be I stopped allowing a lot of the foolishness And falling for the okie dope, but I want to say
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
I stepped into it way too late
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
You know,
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
once my
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
choices started to affect my children, only once I had children, and my choices started to affect them, and then I
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
realized like, daddy was right, you know? And I found myself digging out of situations that I should have never been in. So while he didn't influence me, had I listened to the advice he gave me, he was always trying to lead me in the right directions, but he still gracefully let me make my own mistakes.
Shannon:
Yeah, yeah, I guess I think that's what I was trying to say and you just
Shun:
Okay.
Shannon:
said it a lot more gracefully Yeah fathers do allow more than a mother more You know as women because we're women we're a lot more overbearing and like you're gonna
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
do
Shun:
true.
Shannon:
what I say You know where father
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
is like, okay, i'm gonna tell you something and I want you to accept it I want you to go with it, but i'm not gonna beat you over the head with it I'm hoping
Shun:
I
Shannon:
you're
Shun:
get,
Shannon:
gonna hear
Shun:
right.
Shannon:
me Yeah, so it's a softer message, or at least I feel it. And maybe because of my love for my dad, I'm just feeling all this warm and fuzzy. But
Shun:
if
Shannon:
I just never took whatever he was telling me as I'm beating you over the head with it. You know?
Shun:
You just took it as solid. Now,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
what I can say that I regret about being a daddy's girl is that he didn't hold me accountable enough. And I can admit that. Yeah, he corrected me. He spanked me for sure, honey. He believed in the belt. But he would always give in. And for some reason, he went to war for me, even when he knew I was wrong. And I don't know if that was because I was his baby girl or it was just a parent in him. But
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
oftentimes, I made bad choices knowing he would bail me out.
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
Which
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
he had a few times, you know, I would set it up quick because I knew daddy was gonna come get me You know, he's gonna rescue me every time but also with jobs and responsibility, you know I would tell somebody
Shannon:
Oh yeah.
Shun:
quick girl where you can go and how fast you can get there and walk right out
Shannon:
Hehehehehehe
Shun:
Because I knew he would pay my bills until I got another one right now. Don't get me
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
wrong He would say you got you got to be smarter. You guys stop being so high-handed You know, you're a grown woman now, but I would pal, you know say I know and like they did this to me And I would just tell him How much my bills was and he would just cover every
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehe
Shun:
time it went like that like a few times, right? And as I look back that was just all wrong
Shannon:
Mm
Shun:
So dads, please hold those girls accountable. I don't care cute.
Shannon:
hmm.
Shun:
They are sweet. They're
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
Just as you do your sons because
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
i'm telling you honey. He rained on the boys But he was so gentle with his girls, you know, and again not far spanking He believed in bill but he was just he gave us a lot more grace. Whereas usually it's opposite. You know what i'm saying? The father's
Shannon:
Oh yeah.
Shun:
watch a girl like a hawk and they let the daddy's room I mean the boys run while well, which is that opposite in my pit My mom at the boys run well, and she watched the girls
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
like a hawk. So,
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
you know Even if I didn't have like daddy and my if I didn't have him in my back pocket I just think I would thought twice about a lot of stuff that I did in life. So I can't say
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
I regret that
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
Mm-hmm. I
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
remember this one time Shannon. He was gonna teach me a lesson and I want to buy a new car and I stomped off of my job like two weeks before And I called, you know, I told him I quit and I called like a few days later. I'm like, so dad, when can I go to the car lot and look for a car? He's like, as soon as you get another job. I was floored. I'm like, what? The
Shannon:
I'm
Shun:
audacity to
Shannon:
sorry.
Shun:
lay down some rules, right? But girl, he hung up and called back like a couple of days. I'm going to help you with that car this time, but you better learn how to be more patient.
Shannon:
Hehehehe
Shun:
You can't go around quitting and creating bills and girl, bye.
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
And I got my new car. But I tell you what, I quit one more job after that. I did. But.
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
After I had my daughters, I stopped with all the foolishness. But again, I did a lot of that knowing he would rescue me, he would save me,
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
you know.
Shannon:
yeah, yeah. And for me, my dad, you know, he didn't have the financial means to do, you know, things that your dad did. But if I needed my dad to have my back for whatever, when you need that man to come in and be that menacing figure or, you know, he's got, he, there was nothing he wasn't going to do physically or whatever. Oh, I got you. I could lean on him. If, if I felt threatened or scared, you know, me, you know.
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
Um, he was always there for that. And so, um, where the money didn't come in his physical presence and knowing, Oh, let me call my daddy. You know, I was one of them girls.
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
Okay. You were saying that let me call my daddy. And they're like, okay, she about to call her daddy. I'm out of here. You know,
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
so that was the good thing. I had him in my back pocket. Let me call
Shun:
And you
Shannon:
my
Shun:
know,
Shannon:
daddy.
Shun:
that's better than money sometimes because guess what?
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
I didn't have that in my father. And I think I told you tomorrow that during the interview, he wasn't
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
a lovey dovey. He wasn't a hugger. Anything I thought I wanted and needed, oh, he got it. Anything I could imagine that, dad, I need these. I told you about those shoes. He didn't spend that kind of money on shoes, but for his baby girl, he did. But I
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
did not feel comfortable
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
saying, dad, this guy broke my heart. Can we come up and eat
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
ice cream? He wasn't that father. Well, I gotta go to work. I don't think he knew how it wasn't that he didn't
Shannon:
Okay,
Shun:
God knows it I know he loved
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
me I don't think my
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
father because guess what his parents went though They were not those kind of people my dad's
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
out of the family did not no affection So I don't think it was it wasn't because he didn't so I think his money and taking care of me was his
Shannon:
What's
Shun:
ice cream
Shannon:
his way of showing it? Mm-hmm.
Shun:
Was his way of saying I'm gonna call my dad So guess what
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
I couldn't call my dad to come beat you up and run you out of here But if you leave, Negro, and leave all these bills, I can call my dad and he gonna pay
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
him for me.
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
You see
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
what I'm saying? So
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
it's
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
kind of
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
one and the same. You know, it's kind of one
Shannon:
Exactly,
Shun:
and the same.
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
So you
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
had,
Shannon:
or even,
Shun:
that was your
Shannon:
yeah. Mm-hmm.
Shun:
father's contribution to you, his emotional availability, you know?
Shannon:
Exactly. And even from so far away and as another interesting story. So I had a wonderful stepfather, um, you know, growing up in South Dakota, my mother and my stepfather were in their armed services or my first stepfather, because people would listen to me and say, wait a minute, I thought your stepfather was Cuban. That was the second one people,
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
second stepfather. The first one was my, the one that raised me, you know, pretty
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
much in the Air Force, but he was still my stepfather.
Shun:
right.
Shannon:
And some people always say, you know, we don't like to use step, we don't like to use step. And I get that, if that is the only person in your life, the only time I make concessions is my father was there. You know, I had
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
a father. So
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
I was not comfortable saying daddy to anybody else. But there was a situation where I was a teenager. I was probably 13. My older sister was 14. So that meant my little brother was about 10. And
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
we're in South Dakota and you have to be in before, even down in the South or whatever, be in before the streetlights come on, whatever. Well, my little brother, 10 years old, and in South Dakota, we used to stay gone from eight o'clock in the morning till 10 o'clock at night. No one ever cared because it was South Dakota. But for whatever reason, this particular day, my stepfather had a problem. And so when my brother got home, it was a little bit after the streetlights came on. my stepfather lost it and it became a huge deal and he started you know whooping my brother and then my sister who's had to be 14 at the time she jumps in so he starts hitting her and with the belt and it becomes a big thing and of course what do I do I'm in South Dakota my father's in Charlotte North Carolina I run to the phone
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
I call my daddy this guy is doing this or whatever My dad's like, put him on the phone.
Shun:
Okay.
Shannon:
And I put him on the phone. My stepfather gets on the phone and all, I can only hear one side of the conversation,
Shun:
right.
Shannon:
except when my father started yelling because my stepfather was like, L, L. And I can hear my father, L, L. Now, never forget that to this day. I'm like, get
Shun:
air
Shannon:
him
Shun:
here.
Shannon:
daddy, get him, get him. But I'm sorry,
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
I still got love for my stepfather. But that was just
Shun:
know.
Shannon:
an example of how I just went running for him, even though
Shun:
And
Shannon:
he was 3,000 miles away or however many. But I'm sorry, I still got love
Shun:
my
Shannon:
for my
Shun:
stepdaddy
Shannon:
stepfather.
Shun:
is a good daddy. I love you, but guess what?
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
Now I still got a daddy I can call. Now in
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
my case, I told you my stepfather was the emotional. He was, so I didn't have to worry about that. He was the,
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
he gave
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
me the love. He bought my pads
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
and tampons at the store.
Shannon:
Ha ha
Shun:
He
Shannon:
ha.
Shun:
picked me up because I was embarrassed because I got my period. My stepfather
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
was that for me. So it's kind of like I had, but my stepfather didn't have a whole lot of money. He wasn't, he was just an average working guy. So my father was an over-the-world trucker and that's why he you know, my grandmother's family had you know a few dollars So that's why he was financially
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
able to be there all the time But my stepfather didn't have that money, but he had the grace he had to love so I was really like Oh, I had the best of both worlds, but I'm telling you I never really Not to see that other side of my stepfather to call my daddy
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
because he was just so cool and he was just so sentimental But we all trust me we had uproars,
Shannon:
Right, right,
Shun:
but um
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
He was more of a talker, but that is really funny.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
Like I don't care who husband, I don't care if he's my mother husband, I'm calling my daddy.
Shannon:
Right, right,
Shun:
But,
Shannon:
yeah, yeah.
Shun:
and that's like me. I was married sharing with four whole kids, when my father passed.
Shannon:
Mmm.
Shun:
But if I still thought I needed it, I wasn't afraid
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
to call him. Bears because
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
he left
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
that door open, no matter what I was his girl. And he would always
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
be there for me and my children. And until he wasn't, but God left me.
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
you know, so many other good male figures. My stepfather passed even before my real father. But I have two godfathers, one in Alabama and one even here in New York. And when
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
I remarried this time, my father was still alive in 20, but he was too sick to travel.
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
So my godfather walked me down the aisle. And girl, no one in that service didn't realize my godfather wasn't my father who didn't know our situation.
Shannon:
Uh,
Shun:
He said, oh, your father's so handsome. I'm like, that's my godfather. But... That's
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
how much love he had for me. And you can't tell either
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
of those guys. The one in Alabama, his name is Tweet and Reverend James A. Lewis III,
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
that's my stepfather here.
Shannon:
Oh.
Shun:
They love me like their own daughter. So it's like,
Shannon:
Mm.
Shun:
even after my dad was gone, God left me some love and even your dad is gone, but you have a stepfather, like
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
he takes care of us.
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
But
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
the real fathers did their job in saying, even when I'm gone, as women, we still know how to carry ourselves.
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
And
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
that's what love should
Shannon:
It's
Shun:
look like,
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
even when
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
they're dead
Shannon:
But
Shun:
and gone.
Shannon:
even when they're gone, but also on the flip side. So we got to get to a little bit of more serious matter here before we wrap this up. So
Shun:
Okay.
Shannon:
I know people and I'm sure you do too, Sean. And I have a really, really close friend where, you know, her father was her everything like ours, but in a different way, meaning he did everything to, for her to wear. She can't be in a healthy relationship with a guy because she's expecting the same You know a guy is not going to give you the everything on your whim meaning You he's not your a servant, you know where
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
daddy I want a new pair of shoes and he runs out and get it Daddy, you're on my command and now I have a friend like that where her dad is her He he's her at her beck and call and so she
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
thinks a man should be at her beck and call as well
Shun:
Yeah, yep,
Shannon:
and
Shun:
that's
Shannon:
women,
Shun:
the
Shannon:
you
Shun:
unhealthy
Shannon:
have to understand
Shun:
side of this.
Shannon:
exactly. So when they said, I need somebody that's gonna treat me like daddy, it's like, no, you gotta understand what's healthy and what's unhealthy when it comes to what your father is giving you or doing for you, not saying your father should not do for you.
Shun:
That's a fact.
Shannon:
And by all means, if he can, that's great, but don't look to your husband to be that same person. He might provide in a different way. He might be an emotional provider. He might be a... He could be a financial provider But he could also be all these other things that you don't
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
realize you're lacking in your life because you're so caught up Into all of the material things that your father has given you and
Shun:
It's
Shannon:
I want
Shun:
a
Shannon:
to make
Shun:
fact
Shannon:
sure we get that point across tonight as
Shun:
Yeah,
Shannon:
well He's love
Shun:
yeah
Shannon:
your
Shun:
dads
Shannon:
daddy. Nothing wrong with that
Shun:
Right just like it was nothing wrong with loving your mom's fellas But just
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
dads don't raise your daughter to be out of reach for a man. I think that's where shannon is going, you know
Shannon:
Yeah, yep.
Shun:
Out of reach for a man that would guide her and not like shannon
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
said to the louis vestan Of baton or the gucci story either. I mean guide her
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
to the gates of heaven lead her in love You know why my father our father, you know, my father definitely gave me like the finer things He took care of me, but that wasn't the basis He taught me on how to value a man or husband you see
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
him saying that so like I said There's
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
nothing wrong with daddy giving us those things,
Shannon:
Nope,
Shun:
but that's
Shannon:
not
Shun:
not
Shannon:
at
Shun:
how
Shannon:
all.
Shun:
I was taught how to love He
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
said to be sure they respect you and treat you right Those were his core values when you when you're deciding on a partner, you know He understood that money could always come later and he certainly taught me to make my own You know what i'm saying? So
Shannon:
right
Shun:
he wasn't worried about me being kept
Shannon:
yeah
Shun:
He was more concerned with my soul, you know, and that's how it should be. You know, you teach them what to expect from a husband by how he treats, you know, how he treated my mom or your wife, you know, even if she isn't the girl, the kid's mom, a father should adore his wife and be an example for
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
his daughter. Not, not a beck and call or not a credit card, you know, I was even a little
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
jealous when my father married my stepmother cause I'm like, wait a minute. What is going on here now? All this love is for me, but
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
you know what?
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
He made sure to show me even as his girl that she came
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
first. He never stopped being my dad. I just had
Shannon:
Mm
Shun:
a place
Shannon:
hmm.
Shun:
and
Shannon:
Mm
Shun:
that
Shannon:
hmm.
Shun:
was after his wife, okay?
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
And though they were, you know, I was young when they, you know, when my mom and dad were married, I was young when they divorced. He treated my mother the same way all of his days, like a man. So that's what you should be seeing
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
from your father,
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
not credit cards. So
Shannon:
exactly.
Shun:
that's a great point, Shannon.
Shannon:
Not credit
Shun:
That's a great
Shannon:
cards.
Shun:
point.
Shannon:
And, and too, for a lot of us Black women that are successful, you know, that have made it on their own and were like, I don't need a man because I got this financially. And you think, okay, you, I mean, you got to look deeper. And a lot of the women, they're like, Oh, yeah, I got this, because my daddy always did, you know, so you're, you're
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
You're fulfilling, you know all these things that you know, I don't need a man to do this I can do it on my own because if he can't do it my daddy's show me that I can do this or whatever So you're still You're you're still not looking at You the complete you I guess is what I'm trying to say don't let the fact that your father Was a was a giver. That's a great thing, but Don't turn that into, well, if I can't get this from a man, I'm gonna go out here and make all this money. And I'm guilty of it. I have to knock on the door and say, I was so guilty of it because I have been a provider for myself. I haven't
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
had to lean on anybody. I've done well, I'm in cybersecurity for Pete's sake. So everyone knows what that means. So. I'm like, okay, I don't need anybody and my daddy, you know, blah, blah. And it's like, no, no. You know, in order to be in a healthy relationship with someone, it's not about what you have and what you don't need nobody to do for you. Nah, we got to get that out of our vocabulary and out of our mindset too. So you might be successful and you might be all these things that your daddy has built you up to be, but also recognize that, you know, You have to humble yourself. You have to be vulnerable Let love in and don't let all of these things that you've built up in your head As they got to check all of these boxes cuz my daddy did it, you know,
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
or I'm gonna check it for myself It's like oh they don't do it I'm gonna check it for myself and I'm gonna live off all these riches and I won't let any other man in cuz I got it
Shun:
Yeah, no, we don't want to do that women. We need a whole we need healthy
Shannon:
so
Shun:
whole women
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
And we need healthy whole men to produce healthy relationships. So just like we told the mom, you know Women don't allow daddy to create that kind of person in you and that
Shannon:
Right?
Shun:
When you do that you um, you run the risk of Having your daughter and the woman in your life at odds too. Think about that What about you raise this kind of daughter? What happens when love come along for you again? If you if you have if you're widowed you got to think about all of that, you know It can create separation and get A misunderstanding can happen easily. So that's why I say it's okay to spoil the girls. It's okay Just
Shannon:
Hehehe
Shun:
as it is. Okay, you know for moms to adore the sons and teach them the basics
Shannon:
Yeah. Yep.
Shun:
But dad show your girls what love looks like. That's the important
Shannon:
Hmm.
Shun:
thing here, but don't teach To teach them You know to let objects be The the main focus of their obsession
Shannon:
Exactly
Shun:
or um,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
or better yet Don't you become the object of their affection because just like boys
Shannon:
There
Shun:
and
Shannon:
you
Shun:
moms
Shannon:
go. There
Shun:
sometimes,
Shannon:
you go. Right.
Shun:
you know
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
That had you know, strange relationships. It's weird it happens,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
you know, so You know, we got to be careful of all that and then channing, you know That was a great point to bring across, you know before we wrap it up, but We'll leave you, you know with this and this topic of daddy's girls You know, love your daughter's dads. Be gentle, you know, be kind. Teach her that what, teach her like I said, what love looks like. Be her first love, my God. You know, as you've heard Shannon and I say a million times tonight, our father was certainly our first loves. But
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
don't raise her with standards so high that only money can reach her. Raise her to understand, you know, that having the finer things in life is good, but be sure
Shannon:
All right.
Shun:
she understands that they don't make anything expensive enough that will hold her at night, okay?
Shannon:
That's right. Yeah.
Shun:
They'll make anything expensive enough like the man God has chosen for her.
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
So
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
just keep the core values at the forefront when you're raising these daddy's girls. And now.
Shannon:
Yeah, yeah and not and not equate I'm sorry
Shun:
No, no,
Shannon:
I know you're wrapped
Shun:
you're good.
Shannon:
I know you wrapped up and
Shun:
No,
Shannon:
not
Shun:
no, baby.
Shannon:
equate like
Shun:
It's your
Shannon:
you said
Shun:
world, baby.
Shannon:
not you're so silly
Shun:
You bought out some good points tonight. Let's go.
Shannon:
not equate the you know the material to their self-worth it's like
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
fathers are good for that to say okay you're worth diamonds yeah that's a good saying but that's not literal
Shun:
It's
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
a fact.
Shannon:
you're worth your you're worth your weight in gold, baby. Yes, you are but not that's not literal. So come on
Shun:
That's right.
Shannon:
Let's keep it real
Shun:
And let's keep it real. Works every
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
time.
Shannon:
All
Shun:
All
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
right,
Shannon:
sorry,
Shun:
so you're done,
Shannon:
sorry
Shun:
baby?
Shannon:
about messing up your wrap up.
Shun:
You fine, you don't mess up. All right, rapper Pony, we do this thing.
Shannon:
I
Shun:
If
Shannon:
know,
Shun:
you're done
Shannon:
all
Shun:
though,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
baby, we can move to the red line. Alright, tonight's spread line tip is, that's your date, not your daddy.
Shannon:
Hehehehe
Shun:
Ladies, it is nothing wrong with knowing what you want or your dad showering you with the best. But understand, that's who brought you into the world and that's what he chose to do. Be careful not to pass up a good man because they can't give you Chanel, Prada, or Gucci. Sometimes,
Shannon:
Hahaha.
Shun:
you know, you pass up a nine to five good guy for name brands. and end up with a man that can't even feed your soul. So
Shannon:
It's a
Shun:
you've got all these Gucci and Chanel bags but you're hungry.
Shannon:
Yeah?
Shun:
You're hungry inside in the end you know. You will find yourself right back at home with daddy because if you chase things that's what will happen. Life will pass you by and when you're too old to read or recognize a Gucci or Louis V sign, daddy will most likely be gone to glory and you'll you know you'll be left with a sad story of a love you used to know. Be wise
Shannon:
Bye.
Shun:
ladies. If you want a man like daddy that's okay but be sure you're desiring dad's values dad's values and not possessions and that's my red line
Shannon:
Awesome awesome awesome. That's a perfect red line
Shun:
Thank you, babe.
Shannon:
All right, so we are into our last segment for the night. And of course it is the fictional family I am feeling. All right, so the fictional family I'm feeling tonight comes from guess who? The film with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher, and of course my girl Zoe Saldana. I love her more than anything. But,
Shun:
I know,
Shannon:
yes,
Shun:
she's my favorite.
Shannon:
but
Shun:
So
Shannon:
the,
Shun:
cute.
Shannon:
yeah, I know. The scene I'm gonna talk about tonight is when She of what for people who don't know She's black or in the movie. She's black, but in real life people know she's Dominican but anyway, she's playing a black girl and Bernie Mac is her father and Ashton
Shun:
Who's
Shannon:
Kutcher
Shun:
very much black.
Shannon:
is Yeah, and Ashton Kutcher, of course is white and so she's that's her boyfriend and she brings him home Just like in the original version of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner back in the day with Sidney Poitier. But anyway, so she's having a conversation with her father and she's talking to him about accepting her boyfriend. And she's telling her dad, you know, hey, you don't see the looks we get and you don't understand what we go through. I just need you to tell me that it's okay for me to be with him. because her father was of course totally against him and she's thinking it's all because of race and it could have been, you know? But when I watch the scene, I see something different. Of course, her words are saying, I need you to accept him. I need you to tell me it's okay for me to be with him. And in my opinion, she's trying to tell herself, you need to accept girl that he's okay. You need to accept that you want to be with him because your father's not out there with you when you're getting these looks from these people That you would a white man. He's not out there feeling what you're feeling whatever uncomfortableness you're feeling because you're out with this guy So you're begging your father to give you an okay for something you need to okay within yourself
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
So women and that was just this is just one example So what I took from that is I don't care what kind of relationship you're in. If your guy is whatever you're dealing with, your father can, oh yeah, he could co-sign it, put a stamp of approval or whatever. But at the end of the day, the bottom line, you have to recognize what your heart needs and what you need for you. The same way last week when we were talking to the guys, when the guy stood up to his mother and said, this is what I want. The only situate, the difference here is she's actually begging for approval for something she needs to
Shun:
She
Shannon:
be
Shun:
doesn't
Shannon:
okay
Shun:
need
Shannon:
with.
Shun:
it. But
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
yeah, she doesn't need his approval. She just needs to be okay with it. Like you said, you have to accept your
Shannon:
Exactly,
Shun:
situation.
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
And even if daddy doesn't approve it, if that's what you want, then that's what you
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
do.
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
yeah. So that is the fictional family that I am filling tonight.
Shun:
That's a great twist to that girl. I know,
Shannon:
I
Shun:
I've seen it a thousand times, I never thought about that, but that is absolutely true. It's something she needs to accept whether her father accepts it or not. Of course you want
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
to respect your parents, but in the end what we've said last week and this week is your life to live.
Shannon:
That's right, your
Shun:
You're right.
Shannon:
life to live. And we're hope you're happy living your life. Oh, and I forgot, sorry. We went past the red lines without reminding everyone. Do we have one more or do we? What's this, October?
Shun:
Yeah, so we have
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
um one more week to submit the start the october submissions and you know
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
Like we can keep you can keep them rolling in but the october one will be one week from now And then we'll just move on to the november ones and then you know after the third week in november We'll move to december, but we're gonna
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
keep them all so, you know for future
Shannon:
Yes.
Shun:
shows So like I said, you may hear them you may hear them along the way
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
But for october just to be for the one for uh selected for october you need you got about seven days
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
to get them in guys, five, six days
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
to get them in so we can get it edited and rolled up.
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
So if you want your $100 gift card, please send your red lines into wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com and we love reading those like we say every week so please send them in and come get
Shun:
Yes.
Shannon:
your money people.
Shun:
Come get your money, people.
Shannon:
All right and that is our episode for tonight.
Shun:
Love
Shannon:
We thank
Shun:
you all.
Shannon:
you all and we look forward to next week. Yes, love you all.
Shun:
Bye.
