Can We All Just Get Along?
Download MP3Shun:
Hey, I'm Shawn.
Shannon:
Hi, I'm Shannon.
Shun:
We're the host of wifey and baby mama We want to thank you all who listened and subscribed on last week and welcome you to this week's episode Title can we all just get along? All right, so let's get into it now We've given you some personal insight and experience on life relationships Marriages as it pertains to blended families are just families period So this week we want to talk about and touch on some of the things we think imperative to having peaceful life You know when things come to an end or when you get a new partner into the scenario the first thing i've learned when it comes to getting along is recognizing if there's Even a need to stay connected You know shannon sometimes there's no need to stay connected. You know what I mean?
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
But
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
if you have children, of course Then of course you need to try your very best to get along I mean it goes without saying if you're going to have children you do you do your absolute best to try to make things work out peacefully but If you were a fly by night, you know one night stand I believe what the young folks call it these days Yeah, and the jump off It's
Shannon:
The
Shun:
not
Shannon:
jump
Shun:
me.
Shannon:
off.
Shun:
Yeah, I know need to try to make something out of that, you know, it's gone about your business
Shannon:
Hehehehehehe
Shun:
Call it what it is, you know
Shannon:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Shun:
Again not here to judge Just trying to save yourself trying to save someone from the things we went through You know a whole bunch of heartache is what I went through for just not being able to move on peacefully So that's important, you know to be able to get along even when it's over
Shannon:
Yeah, that is very important. And in my situation, of course, it's totally different. I was able to move on quite easily, honestly, only because of the separation, I think, because I was in the South and baby daddy was in the North. So that creates a void to help you
Shun:
Well that, yeah, but that
Shannon:
move
Shun:
was just
Shannon:
on.
Shun:
like one, but one incident though. I mean, was he, he was a baby daddy, the only person you ever dated besides your husband now.
Shannon:
uh that had what
Shun:
Longevity.
Shannon:
kids or
Shun:
No, no, not kids. I mean just period. I'm sorry.
Shannon:
Oh, no, yeah, there have been other relationships that were long term, you know,
Shun:
And so
Shannon:
but
Shun:
moving on is easy for you.
Shannon:
yeah, yeah, yeah,
Shun:
Well, that's not
Shannon:
it
Shun:
I mean
Shannon:
is.
Shun:
that's we talked about our yin and yang That's a yin and yang because that's something I had a problem with in my dating years if I slept
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
with you Oh, we go together real bad, honey. Okay, so What she say real
Shannon:
and
Shun:
bad?
Shannon:
see,
Shun:
So
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
I don't do one night stands, you know So if I slept with someone and I knew them
Shannon:
Yeah. Yeah.
Shun:
that means I had
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
bested something I had a long-term interest So if you thought you was just sleeping with me and act like you don't know me. Oh, baby went down So that's
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
why I'm here. I'm here for the Yang people, the
Shannon:
Exactly.
Shun:
crazy people like me. That's what I'm here for. See, you're the sense and sensibility of the thing. No, baby,
Shannon:
Not,
Shun:
you
Shannon:
not,
Shun:
slept with
Shannon:
well,
Shun:
me, honey.
Shannon:
I don't, yeah, I don't know if it's necessarily sensibility other than, or rather than, I always think I'm more like a guy. Meaning it's hard for me to attach. And
Shun:
Oh, so now
Shannon:
my husband,
Shun:
it's the exact
Shannon:
yeah,
Shun:
opposite for me
Shannon:
yeah, and see, my husband recognized that I think from the beginning.
Shun:
Okay.
Shannon:
It's like, okay, how do I get this girl? That's probably why I married so late in life as well too, because I could never really form real attachments.
Shun:
Attachment. Okay,
Shannon:
So.
Shun:
I Just say to be honest girl if you because lying don't help anybody so I'm like, oh, yeah, we'll move
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
on Oh, we're here with experts and moving up you are I was I was one of them heart That's why we can do this thing, you know, I was one of them girls. No,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
baby No, you ain't gonna do me like that But sometimes you just got to realize that it you know, like we said, it's over, you know But
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
moving on
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
peacefully I learned and my later years. So here's thing, you know If we can catch people right now, it avoids all that stuff in my later years
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
I
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
wish I knew then what I knew now, you know what I'm saying?
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
So
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
yeah, most of the time the man but but now listen, let me be honest now most of the time a man or a woman Will tell you from the beginning. I'm not trying to do this long term Let's just do this
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
and let's just have
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
sex and this is all I want and then you'd be like, okay Because either you're interested you want to sleep with them. They're popular whatever case may be Then when they say okay, I got somebody else I'm gonna sleep with this week or this month now you're angry But
Shannon:
Now
Shun:
they
Shannon:
you're
Shun:
told
Shannon:
angry.
Shun:
you from the beginning. That's not what they wanted. So
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
My guys are necessarily no one ever gonna tell me Oh, I just want to sleep with you and move on but they would say, you know I'm looking
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
for a friend or you know, and I'm like, okay, I'll go along for a little while But when you start creating those soul ties girls very hard
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
to just move on so it's best not to even do it You know, it's just
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
best not
Shannon:
it's
Shun:
to even
Shannon:
best.
Shun:
do it for a person like me, you know for a person like me
Shannon:
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And when I look at the, you know, the different, I don't know, women that I've had to deal with as the baby mama before, you know, of course you, Sean, before you, there was an expectation of, you know, drama, of, I don't know, strife, you know, here comes the... Here comes baby mama. There's about to be something's about to go down or whatever.
Shun:
But you came in
Shannon:
And
Shun:
peace.
Shannon:
I came in peace always because I just wanted peace. I always wanted it, even at any cost, I guess. Even if I had to shut up and look weak, because so many people
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
said, oh, she looks so weak. And I'm like, call it weakness. Call it what you want. I just know that there are certain things that are worth fighting for. And if the man is not in your life,
Shun:
Or
Shannon:
that's
Shun:
he's not
Shannon:
not
Shun:
fighting
Shannon:
worth
Shun:
for
Shannon:
fighting
Shun:
you,
Shannon:
for.
Shun:
then what's the point?
Shannon:
Or yet
Shun:
Absolutely.
Shannon:
he's not fighting for you. Right. Right. There was nothing mutually there to say, Hey, um, this is something we need to fight for. There was nothing for me to work on, you know, like how we talked about last week. how we work
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
on our marriages and we work on friendships, we work on relationships.
Shun:
You
Shannon:
There
Shun:
say you
Shannon:
was
Shun:
don't work
Shannon:
nothing
Shun:
on jump
Shannon:
to work
Shun:
offs?
Shannon:
on here.
Shun:
You don't work on jump offs?
Shannon:
No, you do not. Yes,
Shun:
Stop putting up
Shannon:
everyone,
Shun:
work in the jump offs. Keep it moving.
Shannon:
everyone, yeah, hear it loud and clear. You
Shun:
I'm
Shannon:
don't
Shun:
on
Shannon:
work
Shun:
Java.
Shannon:
on that. Yep, you don't work on buddy relationships.
Shun:
And you
Shannon:
Those
Shun:
know
Shannon:
things
Shun:
people
Shannon:
are just
Shun:
women
Shannon:
not there.
Shun:
women I know women like you said probably men too, but we speak from a woman's point of view Some women think if I just put it on him if I just is I got the best there ever was If I keep
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
putting
Shannon:
my
Shun:
it
Shannon:
god.
Shun:
on him, it's gonna change his mind. No my angelou said it best when people show you who they are
Shannon:
And here they are,
Shun:
Believe them
Shannon:
Believer.
Shun:
the first time believe them the first time and you will save yourself a whole lot of trouble and I as a grown mature married woman now can say a lot of those situations if I would have just listened to understand Instead of listening to what I thought the man one, you know what I wanted to hear I would have
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
saved myself a lot of heartache. So
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
sometimes we can't always blame the man Sometimes if you listen to what they're telling you you will hear exactly what they want from you
Shannon:
Oh yeah,
Shun:
But again,
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
some of us are so damaged some of some women are just looking for love You know, they wasn't raised in a good home and they just want somebody to love them. So They see a good-looking guy or they see a guy who's showing them attention You know, they're gonna show you a whole lot of attention until they get what they want And
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
then it was just another conqueror for them. It was another conquest for them No, I didn't have a whole lot of that and I will say it's crazy as I am a lot of my stuff was long-term but probably because they were scared to leave me though, but Because baby I was set it off, okay So I don't know if that's why most of my relationships were long-term
Shannon:
You're like from Fatal Attraction. Don't ignore me.
Shun:
Don't ignore me. No But I Think I was just so cool too. I tell you all of my dudes have you the coolest girl I ever been I was the homeboy
Shannon:
Um,
Shun:
Meaning
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
we could do we can go up we go to basketball game, you know, we play video game We can play pool we can play basketball. We can go to a football game. I was I was the homegirl
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
But I just had a problem separating the two even though they said, you know, I'm in a little situation I learned though. I don't play the cheating Now that's one thing I draw the line at. It was a few incidents, even with hubby, in our first marriage. He said, you know, I'm seeing somebody, you know, play like it wasn't all bad. And I'm like, all right, well, I thought what I said. Well, you know, we spend a lot of time together. So eventually that'll be over. Nope, as long as you let them play the game, they will play the
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
game. Nope, nothing you're doing is gonna change a man from being a man. A man is gonna change when he wants to change, when he finds the woman that's worth the change. Move on and get along if you have children make that thing work, you know I have like I said, I have kids that are not hobbies. So I It was imperative that we got along so all of the ones I'm talking about and referring to my younger years They really didn't matter Shannon because I didn't have children with them
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
But the
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
ones that I did have children with you know, we have excellent relationships And that's why I want to put this out there the ones who I didn't have kids But I didn't matter if they walked away or how they walked away But when
Shannon:
All right.
Shun:
I had these kids, I made it necessary to get along with them, their families. And I ain't kissing nobody's behind. These lips were made for a lot of stuff that wasn't one of them. Do what you do. But if it's
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
a way to get along, then I would definitely try and do that.
Shannon:
Yeah, and I look at Quincy Jones, I bring up Quincy Jones, all of his ex-wives, girlfriends or whatever, and all their children during holidays and things like that, they're all together. And
Shun:
That's awesome.
Shannon:
yeah, that always amazed me that, you know, families could operate that way.
Shun:
My stepfather my stepmom and my mom and father all now mom, you know, i'm a little off because my mama was a little off That's why i'm wild
Shannon:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Shun:
as I can be so she had a little friction at first because now mind you mom moved on first She had a whole nother husband. But when my father got married, she's like, oh no i'm like mom that is so That is such a dope. So she really gave the lady the blues for years And finally
Shannon:
Oh wow.
Shun:
she just understood like she didn't want us to go around the lady and i'm like mom we live with your husband
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
And my father was kind of subtle, so he just let mom be buck wild. But he knew it, and the lady with his god rest her soul, my stepmom was so, and if you can believe it, all four of my parents are gone. Ain't that crazy? And I'm
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
thinking
Shannon:
wow.
Shun:
like all four of them are deceased now, but the blended family and examples that they left to me kind of helps me with my family now, having a blended family with, you know,
Shannon:
All right.
Shun:
your son, my kids, we
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
can all come together, your husband, my husband, we can
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
all sit down and have dinner. And I think
Shannon:
exactly.
Shun:
that comes from the dynamic that even though I was raised in the hood, my mama was really wild We still had that good dynamic as far as our blending after mom calm down and realize you can't girl You can't have all these men. You got a husband. You can't control
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
your ex-husband
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
But
Shannon:
That's.
Shun:
you were all able to get along we lived in New York. My father remained in Alabama so, um When we would go down, we could stop at their house. Mom would trade us off. She and the wife had a conversation. My dad would get out. My stepfather would get out. He and my dad would have a conversation when they traded us off for the summer. And it was great. They would talk about cars, fixing cars. And I'm thinking, I remember that being like the coolest thing because you know why? It's over and we got to find
Shannon:
It's
Shun:
a way to raise
Shannon:
so
Shun:
these
Shannon:
good.
Shun:
kids. Yeah.
Shannon:
Exactly. Yeah, yeah,
Shun:
So
Shannon:
absolutely.
Shun:
my blended family was able to get along.
Shannon:
Yeah, same with my mother, you know, my mother, you know, was married to my father and divorced my father when I was, I think around three or so. And
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
then she joined the Air Force, which is how we ended up in South Dakota. But when we got back here and my mother remarried. I had a stepfather in South Dakota and then they divorced and then I had another stepfather and they all got along. Everyone got along. I remember we were at church one Sunday and she's going to hate me telling this story
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
but hopefully she won't listen to
Shun:
you'll
Shannon:
this
Shun:
miss
Shannon:
episode.
Shun:
this episode.
Shannon:
Yeah, don't listen mom but
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
we were all at, we were at church. There was some, I don't know, some special concert or something at church, program or something at church. and all of my mom's husbands were there. And so me and my
Shun:
Hilarious.
Shannon:
little sister, we picked at her. We're like, whoa, look at you up in here with all your husband.
Shun:
Big Pimpin'.
Shannon:
And it was no problem. You know, it was just how we are, you know, we get along. And when I first met my husband, he didn't understand that concept, you know, from his. upbringing and background. Once you're done, you're done. You don't talk to him. You don't speak to him. You know, he doesn't have a relationship with his ex-wife, which is the mother of his three children.
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
And I you know, I encourage, you know, a relationship because even though his children are grown, I think there still should be some type of you know,
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
communication
Shun:
still their mom.
Shannon:
or yeah,
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
they're still their mother for sure. And I've had to get him bring him around to understand that once the feelings are gone, what are you angry about? What are you hanging on to? What are you, why can't you stand and look at this person? You know, whatever his reasonings are. I said, that just doesn't happen in our family. And I'm glad that my mother was an example of, you know, how you can just move on, walk
Shun:
Move
Shannon:
away
Shun:
on.
Shannon:
and keep peace, you know?
Shun:
Get along, yes.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
So
Shannon:
Get along.
Shun:
do they get along now or is it just too much water
Shannon:
Oh
Shun:
under
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
the bridge?
Shannon:
Everyone gets them all.
Shun:
Your husband and his ex-wife gets along now?
Shannon:
Oh, yeah, yeah, they get along.
Shun:
Thank
Shannon:
They do.
Shun:
God and see you know what
Shannon:
Yeah
Shun:
that you may be the piece he needed to get to that. You know what I'm saying?
Shannon:
Yeah. Yeah.
Shun:
and in my situation,
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
um Most you of course being the baby mama is the only one that's important, you know But
Shannon:
Right?
Shun:
people may have girlfriends like I had a boyfriend all through high school. That was close to my family. So My hubby when we first started dating, you know, he came around the time it was no friction, you know We were younger, but I've really never had Any issues unless the female brought it to me see my thing with
Shannon:
Okay.
Shun:
peace and getting along is if you have children You and I again no static but Save you guys didn't have Children, but you're really close to his family his family adores you So if you came around because we have no issues whether you had a kid or not But well, why is she around because she got your she ain't got no kids It doesn't matter if you're connected to people for three four five six years It I spoke on this last week. It's no reason you can't be friends It's no ill will and no static.
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
I had this one weirdo that he had it was a jump-off and After we got back together this time and we were dating and trying to you know, find our way back After he told her like look I'm back with her. You know, this is what it is. She said well ask her kid We all be friends ma'am, um You vandalized my car Ma'am you playing on my phone. You're like totally out the gate No, we cannot that's weird. You
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
know what I mean? Like because
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
I feel like the only reason for that request was so that you can continue to be in his life I've
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
never met you. I don't know anything about you. Why do I need to get along with you? Why do I need to
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
see you? He was like nah, it ain't happening So, you know it is times like we said when you jump off It's really no need to get along but
Shannon:
That's
Shun:
if you
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
have children I can't say enough how imperative it is to to get you know Find some common ground even again if you have to enlist the help of the family. Hey, we're not
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
talking We're not doing this. We're not doing that. So they're going back and forth No, we can't do that
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
so
Shannon:
yeah, not only is it not good and we'll probably we'll repeat this several times You know as we uh do this podcast, but not only is it not good for you, but it's not good for the kids
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
and
Shun:
right.
Shannon:
Watching them You know learn from bad behavior to then
Shun:
Right.
Shannon:
again Turn or turn around and you know do it themselves. It's like we want to be positive role models for our children.
Shun:
And it's so important that you said that that's right And
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
that comes to me being grown now You guys hear me often talk about how I will set it off saturday it go it baby wherever you
Shannon:
I'm
Shun:
look at me wrong
Shannon:
going to go to bed.
Shun:
But with my maturity this time around with me finding peace in god with me being saved with me being a lady now She got away with a whole lot of stuff that just don't happen You don't get to do what you
Shannon:
I'm
Shun:
did to Sean
Shannon:
going to
Shun:
and
Shannon:
go.
Shun:
not read about it baby or somebody coming to bomb me out But see when you're grown you don't let stuff bother you You're not the way
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
it used to now, you know She got a few words and you know and she learned to just chill but it was a time I would have ripped her apart. I would have went up one side that girl and down the other but I learned to just it He's with you He's telling her he's drew his lines. It's no need to go back and forth with her You're gonna have people who just can't understand us over And they
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
don't want peace. They just want mess So that's where the men come in or the women depending on how the relationship is going to draw their lines and protect
Shannon:
Mm-hmm.
Shun:
their partners And respect their partners So that's where the peace comes in and as long as they're doing their best you can't control other people So as long as your partner are drawing, you know, drawing the clear lines You can't stay mad with them about something someone from the outside is doing So
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
what at all costs get along in your relationship at all costs rise above the foolishness and make sure your immediate family is happy and whole. And
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
that you do whatever it takes to do, especially like you said for the children, because in the end, it eventually affects them in a negative way.
Shannon:
Oh yeah, for sure. Not only does it affect them as they're growing up, but when they're adults,
Shun:
Absolutely,
Shannon:
that can
Shun:
because you're
Shannon:
form.
Shun:
teaching them. Yeah, you're teaching them how to run a family or how to respond
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
to certain things. That's right
Shannon:
exactly. Yep,
Shun:
So
Shannon:
yep.
Shun:
getting along is is imperative when you're raising children
Shannon:
Right. And understanding the bigger picture is not this moment that we're in right now. So,
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
so
Shun:
right.
Shannon:
many of us, we get focused and we get
Shun:
on moments.
Shannon:
our or tunnel vision. Yeah. On a moment.
Shun:
Those
Shannon:
And
Shun:
moments
Shannon:
just like,
Shun:
can cost
Shannon:
no,
Shun:
you.
Shannon:
yes, they can. They can cost you cost your family, cost your piece, cost you, you
Shun:
Money.
Shannon:
know, your happiness and money. Oh, yeah. Bell money. Okay.
Shun:
I count some of that money and I probably could have me a Porsche or something honey all the foolishness I did Well, my father I would say cuz it started when I was young and so my sisters and brothers were like Yeah, he's blowing that girl out of jail. He said yeah Well,
Shannon:
Hahaha!
Shun:
look even though I was wrong what's out there getting in trouble He said, you know, I just
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
don't want you to have a felony. You're not gonna have a good job You
Shannon:
Right?
Shun:
know, that's a just being good parents, you know I miss I was
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
as foolish as I can be but my father was dead bent on saving his baby And
Shannon:
Oh, yes,
Shun:
I thank God for him.
Shannon:
yes.
Shun:
And eventually like I said with time and maturity, you know, I grew out of it, but that's just who I was Because that
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
was the environment like I grew up in so now here We are trying to save some younger people younger generations from going through those things, you know get along
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
and if you can't
Shannon:
get
Shun:
get
Shannon:
it along.
Shun:
along walk away
Shannon:
walk away.
Shun:
And I mean, every situation won't come to getting along. So again, we're not doctors, we're not therapists, anything close to it. But I've lived long enough to know that life can teach you things that a classroom can't teach you.
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
And experience is the best teacher. That's what I've learned about living this life. So get along if you can, walk away if you can't.
Shannon:
That's right.
Shun:
Alright
Shannon:
All
Shun:
Shannon,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
so I'm gonna transition to my red line
Shannon:
Alright, red line.
Shun:
Okay, so the red line topic of today is staying in the sheets is not the answer to keeping the peace
Shannon:
Woo.
Shun:
Okay, I'll make that clear When people are supposed to be over and you now have a significant other or you're just adamant that this relationship isn't gonna work With the current partner whether someone knew in the picture now when you continue to sleep with that same person You know that you claim to want to be free from it's almost guaranteed to be drama Constant trauma that's a recipe for disaster and majority of the situations that I've seen the most confusion and frictions in Including my own, you know,
Shannon:
Hehehehe
Shun:
it comes from that very thing. I don't care if it's the best you ever had I don't care if y'all been together since pre-k I don't care if I got five kids together or if you met in a group home member Norbert and restitution How you doing? I don't
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
care what the special relationship may be if you found this unhealthy to be together You know, especially like if
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
it's like violence involved You need to stop that you need to let
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
it go Any sexual contact needs to be ceased. Don't be fooled by the famous, you know, it's just sex. I don't want nothing else lying Sex is the most valuable thing you could give someone So why give it to someone you're no longer? Want to be connected to or not someone you're not going to share your life with? Breaking
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
those soul ties and praying is really the only way you can move on to a cordial casual relationship That's what life has taught me and that's my red line for today.
Shannon:
Yeah, I like that a lot because, you know, and we both experienced it where, you know, everyone wants to go back and dip, you know,
Shun:
Yeah.
Shannon:
I'm going to go back, dip my toe back in that or go back
Shun:
I'm
Shannon:
into
Shun:
sorry.
Shannon:
that or whatever, all that back and forth. And it's confusion. It does nothing but muddy the waters and make things so unclear. No one knows what they're doing. or they're friends with benefits or whatever. It's like, no, you're not really friends.
Shun:
You're sending mixed messages. If you
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
want to
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
peacefully move on from this thing, like you said, dipping back is not the answer. And I know, and the reason I can speak on this again, we can speak on this is we've did it. Dipping,
Shannon:
Oh yeah, we did.
Shun:
you say your toes dipping some other stuff too. Can't be dipping nothing. You got to just cleanly walk away because
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
again, you may think that, oh, if we just, I just give her some sex, she won't call my house, no. That's gonna create as long as you have those soul ties as long as you have them and and listen Let me get the word. I'm trying to I said sheets, but it's even communication You don't even need to regularly communicate with the person you're done with because it's
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
gonna give them false. Hope Walk
Shannon:
Hmm.
Shun:
away That's
Shannon:
Yep.
Shun:
mine. That's just my opinion on it and I'm telling you something it works and I can only give my opinion Because I've been through it
Shannon:
Yeah, and so many people you had mentioned earlier about, so many people think they're the best in bed or whatever. Everyone wants to think they're sunshine from Harlem nights. Oh, I'm sunshine.
Shun:
Throw it up in the air. Throw it up in the air. What?
Shannon:
It's
Shun:
Throw
Shannon:
like,
Shun:
it up in the
Shannon:
uh...
Shun:
air on your husband. Throw it up in the air on your wife. Don't be throwing it up in the air for everybody.
Shannon:
Right, right. So,
Shun:
Because
Shannon:
but.
Shun:
I'm telling you, it's some people that got it. I ain't gonna mention no names, but it's some people that got it. You can't give it to everybody. You know, you can't give it to everybody.
Shannon:
But a lot of people are better in their head than they really are in bed. So it's
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
like,
Shun:
true.
Shannon:
come on now.
Shun:
That's true. That's true. That's
Shannon:
So.
Shun:
true. I know some that I know some of both of them, though, but OK. But yeah, leave it alone until it's until it's
Shannon:
Right.
Shun:
time to be married or committed.
Shannon:
Exactly, absolutely.
Shun:
I'm sorry.
Shannon:
All right, great red lines, John.
Shun:
Thank you. Thank you.
Shannon:
Okay, so now we will move on to the segment we like to call the fictional family I'm feeling. All right, so the fictional family I'm feeling this week, there are actually two families. They're from the neighborhood, the sitcom starring Cedric the entertainer. And the families are the Butler's and the Johnson's. So Johnson's are white family, the Butler's are black family. But the episode I'm gonna talk about isn't really about the two different families. Well, yeah, it is. Well, they were having a party. The white family was having a party and it was getting out of hand. And they needed someone to shut it down. And Cedric's wife is at the party. And she says, oh, I know someone who can shut this party down. And she goes to get her husband. And he comes in. You know, as a big black man, you know, I'm here to shut this down. And he's like, all right, now, if your name isn't Johnson or Butler, you're out of here. You got to get out of here. No one leaves. No one's face. And so he looks around. He's like, I can't believe all these people are butlers and Johnsons. So they brought him in. It's a stereotypical, you know, this dude's going to shut it down. It didn't happen. He wasn't able to shut the party down. And what that says to me is, you know, you have these stereotypes and you have,
Shun:
Mm-hmm.
Shannon:
you know, preconceived notions about folks. But yet at the end of the day, we all have to get along. And these two families, even though Cedric wasn't able to just shut it all down, the fact that the
Shun:
They
Shannon:
families
Shun:
had the confidence
Shannon:
came
Shun:
in
Shannon:
together.
Shun:
him.
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
Yeah, and they had
Shannon:
they
Shun:
the
Shannon:
did,
Shun:
confidence
Shannon:
they
Shun:
in him.
Shannon:
did.
Shun:
Like, we know somebody that can handle this. And what tickles me about that is the fact that the Johnsons was like, the butlers, the butlers is the Caucasian family, correct?
Shannon:
No, the Johnsons.
Shun:
The Johnsons are
Shannon:
Yeah.
Shun:
the Caucasian family, the butlers
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
are Cedric
Shannon:
yeah.
Shun:
and his family. So the
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
Johnsons,
Shannon:
right.
Shun:
all of their people was like, uh-uh, that don't work no more. We're in a different day and age now. We
Shannon:
Right,
Shun:
out here,
Shannon:
right,
Shun:
we at the barbecue.
Shannon:
right, right ain't no ain't
Shun:
We
Shannon:
no
Shun:
all get along.
Shannon:
Yeah, and I and I and I do like that, you know, you just touched on something where they weren't Afraid or intimidated and I wish the rest of the world, you know could
Shun:
Was that way
Shannon:
you know,
Shun:
exactly
Shannon:
yeah
Shun:
exactly.
Shannon:
Yeah,
Shun:
That's
Shannon:
yeah
Shun:
awesome. Okay. That's awesome. Okay. See you
Shannon:
Alright, so that is the fictional family I am filling this
Shun:
Alright,
Shannon:
week.
Shun:
love it.
Shannon:
All right, so we have come to the end of our podcast this week. We want to thank you all for joining and listening and participating in this endeavor. And we want you to, of course, remember to submit your red lines. every third Thursday of the month we will choose one of the red line submissions to read on air and if we choose your submission you will win a $100 gift card so please
Shun:
Yes!
Shannon:
submit your submissions for
Shun:
You got
Shannon:
the
Shun:
two
Shannon:
red
Shun:
more
Shannon:
lines.
Shun:
weeks guys first one's coming up in two more weeks. Can you believe it?
Shannon:
Yeah, two more weeks. Oh my gosh. Yes, who couldn't use a hundred dollars?
Shun:
bright
Shannon:
So
Shun:
especially how is the grocer and gases
Shannon:
know, and eggs.
Shun:
and eggs
Shannon:
All right, so please, please like us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, follow us, subscribe, we're out there. If you have trouble finding us, you can even email us at wifeyandbabymama.gmail.com and say, I can't find you, because we are on all platforms. So, we wanna thank you for joining us, and we look forward. Until next week, Sean and Shannon signing off. Good night.
Shun:
Love you, bye.
