Wifey and Baby Mama

Shun (00:36.122)
Hi, A'Shawn.

Shannon (00:37.8)
Hi, and I'm Shannon.

Shun (00:39.638)
And we're the host of Wifey and Baby Mama. Happy Thursday, family. Happy Thursday, Baby Mama.

Shannon (00:45.096)
Happy Thursday, Sean.

Shun (00:47.898)
We are thankful to be here with you guys another week and we're going to get right to it because for the first time this season We have a guest. yeah I Know y'all were thinking like wait, it's just gonna be the two aunties all seasons No, not all season. No, no, we wouldn't do y'all like that. I mean Shannon I like to talk but I don't think I could have did it whole season

Shannon (00:58.266)
Yeah, so happy, so happy.

Shun (01:16.282)
I think I got a whole season in me. So thank God we have a guest. So here to rescue it, rescue you guys and kick it with us for episode four titled Benefit of the Doubt is the Beautiful Miss Ashley Nicole. Ashley and I met on the set of my new mini series, Shannon, Broken Love. So for anyone who's been to the premiere in Shannon, you have down in Charlotte, she's the one with the banging body sitting up there cheesing with my man over lunch.

Shannon (01:16.509)
Right, right.

Shannon (01:41.542)
Yes.

Shun (01:45.582)
talking about she his cousin y'all that's that's who this guest is tonight I'm just kidding y'all know if I don't do anything else y'all I'm gonna cut up on this show you know I like I like doing that but serious business Ash and I really did meet on the set of broken loving now our little boys on the same football team y'all so cute

Shannon (01:50.408)
Yes, welcome Ashley. Welcome Ashley.

ashley (01:54.963)
Hello, hey, thank you for the wonderful introduction.

ashley (02:04.397)
you

Shannon (02:06.132)
you

ashley (02:13.996)
Yeah.

Shun (02:15.001)
And get it to know Ashley. like, you know what? She make a great guest for tonight's I'm sitting here like, hey, you want to be on the show? So without further ado, Ashley, why don't you introduce yourself to the listeners? Tell them a little bit about you.

ashley (02:27.493)
Yes, yes. Hey, hey y'all. Hey listeners. She forgot the Valerie in between. I got 600 names, but Ashley Valerie Nicole. It's already a billion Ashley Nicole's and you I got to be unique. But yes, I did miss meet you on set of your series, which I am so blessed and happy to have taken part.

Shun (02:42.669)
I know that's right.

ashley (02:57.069)
Along with that, yes, I am a mom, football mom. Also founder of Melanin Skin Co., which is a skincare line that is dedicated to serving the unique needs of melanin-rich skin. So if you get a chance, please check out my line at www.melaninskinco.com and that's skin with a Y. And follow me on social media at Melanin Skin Co.

Shun (03:20.653)
Okay, give him the league one more time, Ashley.

Shannon (03:20.86)
All right.

ashley (03:23.18)
That's www.millanenskinco.com

Shannon (03:30.676)
Right, awesome, yeah.

Shun (03:30.861)
Right Shannon we get We meet the dopest people. Okay, this is this this platform, you know services us in so many ways besides You know, it's giving you out of real we we meet some of the dopest guess and we are blessed and Ashley Thank you for joining us tonight

Shannon (03:37.157)
Well, we do.

ashley (03:49.196)
Thank you for having me.

Shun (03:50.778)
Alright, so Shannon you ready to get into this thing? Okay, so Ashley we are excited to have you as a guest but what else come with the guest Title is you get the first question we get to swing it to you and you get to set this thing off. So you ready, honey? Alright Here we go. Um Ashley do you think I'm getting right to a job? We need more warming up. Do you think that partners that cheat?

Shannon (03:53.95)
Let's do it.

ashley (04:09.02)
I'll know it. I'm ready.

Shun (04:20.599)
should automatically be given the benefit of the doubt that it will never happen again because it was a one-time thing or do you feel some work is required to mend that trust? What do you think?

ashley (04:31.198)
Okay, wait, when I when you say a partner that cheat, do you mean like cheat as in multiple instances already or you mean a partner that has cheated?

Shun (04:39.113)
Nope, mean, no, I mean like you guys are in a great relationship. know, husband and wife, it just or maybe engaged or whatever, maybe just committed relationship and it just happened that one time.

ashley (04:44.445)
I don't know.

ashley (04:52.747)
Okay, so this is the one time that was found out about clinic situation.

Shun (04:58.777)
Shannon she gonna make him a serial cheater ain't she she said that was found out about

ashley (05:02.091)
I mean, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just trying to clarify if this is a cheating on or if this was a hat she had done cheated. You know, I...

Shun (05:14.807)
We can get into all of it, but this first question I want to know we're gonna obey we kiss into it all we flip some and rub it down Don't we Shannon we flip every type of we we try to give you every angle but right now the very first question is we were perfectly fine and someone just Cheated and the other partner found out they told them however happened and they said listen, you know Just I made a mistake. Can you just forgive me? Do you think because it was a one-time thing you're otherwise fine. Should it be automatically forgiven?

Shannon (05:17.23)
yeah, yeah.

Shannon (05:22.142)
We do. We do.

ashley (05:23.381)
you

Shun (05:44.139)
Or do you feel like some work is required to regain that trust?

ashley (05:49.439)
So...

don't think I can speak for all people, like for somebody. Okay. I think it depends on a situation. I think that it could depend on where you are in your relationship, what's at stake, the pros and the cons of walking away or staying. I don't believe in mistakes when it comes to that. I believe in them being conscious decisions.

Shun (05:56.994)
Your opinion. Your opinion.

Shannon (06:18.292)
Thanks

Mm-hmm.

ashley (06:21.623)
And, but I do also believe that men are very in the moment that they could feel and do something for that moment and stand on it in that moment and in the next moment have a completely different feeling. But I believe that it's still a decision and you can still make bad decisions, but first stand on that it was a decision and not a mistake.

Shun (06:46.561)
Okay, what do you think, Shane?

Shannon (06:48.924)
Yeah, I agree. You know, it is a decision. It's a choice. It's not nothing you fall into. You know, you didn't trip and fall into it. It is a conscious choice. Yeah.

Shun (06:57.303)
Right.

I remember that one comedian. I tripped my my I can't say But that's how you sound okay, so that's so that part you guys agree now Ashley do you think then if It's just the one-time decision and they're sincere. Do you think it just you just say it happened to you? Do you think you can be like, okay, let's move on I do you think it would take time to be like, you know I need to regain your trust like I'm not feeling you right now

Shannon (07:05.817)
I know you can't say what he said.

Right.

ashley (07:27.31)
It's definitely, you know, it's definitely not a just, okay, well, it's cool. You know, move, move on, move forward. But it is, but I really don't think you ever fully regain that trust fully. And even if you do, it's a conscious effort and it's a conscious, it's also a decision to try to look past some things. And I think that even

Shun (07:43.929)
Hmm.

ashley (07:55.676)
If you do kind of get more comfortable with it, you kind of want some stuff start looking different or start looking familiar. You always got that thought in the back of your mind, but you have to make a decision at that point and you have to decide, okay, am I going to continue to let this be what it is or am I going to flip the script or flip the script? know, but I don't, I just don't believe that the trust is ever.

Shun (08:15.49)
Move past it.

Shannon (08:17.864)
Really? Right.

Shun (08:18.701)
Hahaha!

ashley (08:23.146)
fully fully game is kind of always there because then when you see them habits you like oh well wait a minute especially when because they real habitual men so it's like when they start doing something the same way and then it's like okay now you went down that same every day you come home you went on the same street and now you done made a left down barely quick play on me when and it's like well I can't go down barely to go to Tim Hortons real quick no

Shun (08:31.969)
Yes, they are.

Shannon (08:37.667)
huh.

Shun (08:40.313)
Well

Shun (08:47.705)
So now I myself I think that trust comes naturally from that person taking care of your heart and respecting you and loving you You know and once they mess up you you have to earn it back and and if that person doesn't feel like they should you know I want to debate the fact that you know, I apologize. That's enough in my opinion They haven't taken the count of accountability and quite frankly, I believe they'll do it again

Shannon (08:47.75)
Right, right, that is so true.

Shannon (09:09.423)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (09:13.364)
Yeah, they put a time, yeah, when they put a timetable on when you should be over it. You should be over it, because I apologize. Yeah, they're not taking a...

Shun (09:16.589)
That's just my opinion.

Shun (09:25.625)
They ain't taking accountability. And I believe with those type of people, it happen again. What do you think, Ashley?

ashley (09:34.353)
Yeah, think I'm pretty in alignment with that. I haven't come across too many menfolk that take too much accountability for anything, whether it's small or big. So...

Shannon (09:44.468)
Thanks.

Shun (09:46.286)
Right. She said men folk Actually about 60 years old but yeah, she really like I don't think she 40 she said So now with with everything that we said, like you said some men men folk is actually say they don't take accountability But we're not just talking about men now, y'all know it's some women out here that be getting it in too now So I don't think whether the men or the women she

Shannon (09:47.891)
Lord.

Shannon (10:02.013)
Yeah.

Shannon (10:06.996)
yeah. yeah

Shun (10:12.741)
I think that like she said, it should be discussed. Are we going to get past this? Are we going to work on it? Are we moving on? But if we decide to work on it, the one thing we have to be careful is not to make it a life sentence, y'all. If it was a one-time incident, I don't think we should, you know, do the life sentence. We're human. And sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you can make a bad choice. Because like Ashley said, it's not a mistake, it's a choice. And if we can all be grown though, that Babyface song, Shannon Love Makes Things Happen.

Shannon (10:19.875)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (10:38.118)
Yeah.

Shun (10:42.433)
It's a real thing. Now, that ain't our song for tonight. I'm just saying. Don't cut my head off. Just, you know, it's a real thing.

Shannon (10:42.876)
Right. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah, because if you choose to stay. No, go ahead, Ashley. Go ahead.

ashley (10:50.854)
Yeah, I just feel like it has to be a mutual. I'm sorry.

Shannon (11:00.807)
Ashley.

ashley (11:01.961)
I just think it's a mutual reciprocation that it has to be. It has to be a combination of the person who committed it has to give grace to the person that's healing as well as the person that's healing has to give that grace if they decided to move forward. And that's where I think things get jumbled is because

Shannon (11:23.035)
Agreed.

ashley (11:28.592)
A lot of time the person that committed it don't want to live in it and don't want to sit in it. So sometimes it could be that they may not necessarily do it again, but it's just that they're so shameful from it that they just want to move forward because they and they don't want to sit in it. But it's like you don't get to choose how long it took me to heal.

Shannon (11:45.46)
That's right.

Shun (11:46.584)
That's a very good point because that's what I believe about people Shannon who really make that one bad decision one time I can believe like ashley said men are just so and some women too, but men more more Profoundly women are usually cheaters of emotion men are usually cheaters of attraction. They see a big butt, you know, they see you know, Well l l say a big button to smile and they're like,

Shannon (11:54.697)
Right.

Shannon (11:59.358)
yeah.

Shannon (12:05.588)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Shun (12:10.743)
With us it's sometimes more more majority of the time. Most of us have to have some kind of other attraction So it's not it's easy, but some women are you know, they they were Lee Leslie use that for lack of a better word because it's a you know Family show but some women are not are no different for men But for the most part when they do that, it's like okay. I did that. I messed up. They know they messed up They will never do it again. They are very sorry, but the fact is it happened it happened You have to give me my time. You know what I mean?

Shannon (12:16.882)
Right. Yeah.

Shannon (12:23.188)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (12:35.528)
Right.

Shannon (12:40.052)
Mm-hmm, yep, yep.

Shun (12:41.443)
But I know what happens to the best of us though Shannon, so, you know.

Shannon (12:45.662)
yeah, and we all know those folks and for those who choose to stay, you know, you know, I have a close family member. I won't call their name. They chose to stay, but yet they continue to punish the person forever. Like you said, you know, a minute ago, Sean can't be a life sentence. Well, that's what it is in this situation. It's a life sentence. It's never, never gone. Or on the other side,

Shun (13:04.141)
made a life sentence. Can't be.

Shannon (13:14.716)
you know, with my husband where he, his previous marriage, his, spouse cheated. And so he wants to make everyone pay for what she did. And so I had to pay for something somebody else did. And I've never cheated on anybody in my life, even when I only dated you for two weeks, you know? so it's trying to understand.

Shun (13:37.987)
Right.

Shannon (13:42.591)
how you need to heal as well and not take that out on other people as well as like we've been saying, the accountability, but on both sides, both sides need healing and grace and some type of way to move forward, even if it's not in your current relationship, in your next relationship, if you move on.

ashley (14:11.628)
Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I feel that if you have decided to move on from that person, then you need to take the appropriate time to heal so you're not carrying that baggage into your next relationship. But if you do choose to stay with that person that caused the damage, one, you still have to do the work to heal. But I do fully believe that that person has to be a part has to

Shannon (14:25.48)
Yeah.

ashley (14:40.674)
equally participate in your healing. And sometimes that means being more transparent. That means being more reassuring. Like things just don't look the same how they used to look because you're building that trust back. So it's like where you used to say, I'll be back real quick. Okay. What's the lineup? What do, what do we write back real quick? Me? You know, cause you, we went back real quick and I trusted that at that point in time and now I don't really trust it.

Shannon (14:43.495)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Shannon (14:51.499)
Uh-huh.

Shannon (14:59.558)
Yep. Yep.

ashley (15:06.069)
And then you had to be able to reassure me like, you know, everything is good. But instead of, you on my back and why you keep asking, I ain't doing nothing. ain't doing nothing. And it's like, you don't get those same luxuries.

Shannon (15:06.366)
Hmm?

Shannon (15:17.96)
Right.

Shun (15:18.169)
But at that point, I'm gonna say what I would think a partner, man or woman should say in that situation. Because Shannon, I think, you know, we've discussed on here, my husband, he rides motorcycles, he's addicted to them. And sometimes he's like, I'm riding, trying to get on and I don't realize it's been five, six hours. I may ride for two hours before I pull over to answer my phone and I'm like, okay, cool. Now, say you cheat and something happens. Now, you think you're gonna still get that luxury? Will not.

Shannon (15:45.364)
What's up?

Shun (15:46.298)
Because it's going to trigger me every time you're going to have to give me time to build that back up, you know, but once I started to go out with him in the motorcycle road when I hung, I'm like, oh, you really can't be out this joint all night, you know, but in that case, he started, he started to say, actually, when you said I'll be back real quick, I brought up that reference to say, he started to say, well, won't you come with me and see what I'm doing? You know, I'm not doing anything. He said, I said, I'm scared. I'm scared of that bike. He said, well, get in your car and follow me.

ashley (15:46.7)
Exactly.

Shannon (15:48.916)
huh,

ashley (16:09.369)
Yes.

Shannon (16:10.535)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (16:14.745)
So we literally did that for a while and I was like, all right, I'm tired I'm gonna be chasing on motorcycle around all night. All right, I'm good on that So but he let me see cuz I'm like you mean to tell me you roll for two hours and ain't checking He's like yeah because I get time time gets away from me, you know, da da So I saw and once I had enough of it and I saw it. I'm like, okay I'm good on that, but that's what he had to do to ease my mind actually, know what I'm saying? Hey come come go Absolutely

ashley (16:15.212)
Yeah.

Shannon (16:26.063)
huh. huh.

ashley (16:29.957)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (16:30.974)
Yeah.

ashley (16:36.12)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's him being an active participant in your healing. Like, you can't do it by yourself.

Shannon (16:36.308)
Shun (16:44.491)
And let me tell you something, he didn't cheat on me during this course than the second time around, but it was a whole buffet the first time. So that's why I had those feelings that I had, but he had to explain to me, you can't hold me right there. I don't live there anymore. don't, I'm not that guy anymore. But instead of him just saying,

Shannon (16:47.22)
you

ashley (16:50.551)
I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna go home. home.

Shannon (16:52.5)
You

ashley (17:01.859)
Yeah, but you also he also had to show you that too

Shun (17:05.043)
But instead of him just saying believe what you want to believe because that's what he was doing at first like you said I said I'll tell you what what you gonna believe is that you're be here by yourself when you get home So when he saw so so let me say this I was pondering and this is the other side of that topic, you know, I thought Is it ever ever really a reason to cheat right now? Good Christian wife who loves the dirt off her husband's shoes had to ask myself Could it ever be a reason a legit reason to step out?

Shannon (17:05.16)
Right, right.

ashley (17:07.99)
No, no,

Shannon (17:10.526)
Hmm.

ashley (17:13.701)
Hehehehehe

Shannon (17:14.484)
you

Shun (17:32.856)
And off the top of my head, was like, heck no, it ain't no excuse for that. I ain't going for that. And then I thought back a little harder, y'all, to when those situations were occurring, right, with the motorcycle and him staying out. When my husband would come out six, seven, and I'm like, it's tripping. And I allowed women, like women would call his phone, he works on cars. my mirror broke. do you know it's too much air in my front mirror? Like stupid stuff. I'm like, are you kidding me?

Shannon (17:37.107)
Right.

Shannon (17:58.101)
Mmm.

Shun (17:59.47)
They are testing you they're saying can they access you that he's I ain't thinking about that. think about that So, you know what? He wasn't here my concern. So, you know what I started doing I started staying out late going out with my friends, you know accepting drink from men and and at one point I mean my husband listens to these podcasts. We've had this conversation in therapy. I was like, you know what? I'm about to be gone. I'm about to go do it I got to do because he playing with me whole time The man would do it absolutely nothing, but I was not feeling value and I wanted him to see me

Shannon (18:23.378)
Wow. Mm-hmm.

Shun (18:29.293)
But by grace, y'all, I stepped back and I said, now doing this is going to hurt who? You know what I'm saying? Because I, Sean ain't going to be a fool and go tell him that I did it. You know who was going to affect the most? It was going to affect me. You know, I would have been in a lifelong battle with my conscience, even if he didn't know. So for me, the decision not to cheat wasn't about him. It was about me. So sometimes we don't even need to, I can't even say not worry about the other person.

Shannon (18:35.793)
Right.

Shun (18:57.923)
But sometimes if you think about your own value, that should stop you from doing that kind of thing. You know what I mean? Because it's going to change your value as a person as well.

Shannon (19:01.374)
Hmm?

Yeah.

ashley (19:06.884)
Absolutely.

Shannon (19:07.026)
Right,

Shun (19:08.119)
That's just my thought. I didn't want to change my value and come to find out after therapy and just simply talking it out y'all. I was there wrong anyway. You see what I'm saying? And that would have been something detrimental that I couldn't have taken back. So sometimes people before we cheat, we need to understand why is it that way? If it's just a physical thing, you got to be stronger than that because you you ain't ready to be with me anyways. But sometimes y'all, I'm going tell you, it's not just a physical thing.

Shannon (19:20.869)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (19:30.531)
Uh-huh.

Shannon (19:30.772)
Yeah.

Shun (19:36.154)
Was strong-willed and I almost slipped and I can say it because again I've been to counseling for it But if you are not grounded and rooted you you don't need to be out in the streets being out late You don't need to be hanging with your boys or hanging with your single girlfriends. know what I'm saying? I'm not saying lock yourself up in a box or in the corner But if you're really with someone you love you do whatever you have to do to protect their heart That's all I'm saying

Shannon (19:48.712)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Shannon (19:59.401)
That's right.

ashley (20:00.79)
Absolutely.

Shun (20:03.767)
No. Anybody who got anything else? Shannon, you got another way you want to flip this thing?

Shannon (20:10.516)
No, I don't think so.

Shun (20:14.605)
What about you, Ms. Ashley?

Shun (20:24.301)
You can you can talk about any point of the topic. You don't have to stick right there That was just my question to you. Now. This is your chance actually to get it off your chest now Wife and baby mama puts the platform out there y'all do try do it

Shannon (20:30.373)
huh.

That's right.

ashley (20:39.913)
Yeah, I don't know. mean, along the same subject, because I know you just have said that, you know, it's for, well, earlier in the conversation you had said for men, it's a physical thing. And for women, it's an emotional thing. But, and that's true. But I also

Shun (21:00.153)
Now that's not all in the box Shannon and I'd like to say that on this show everything isn't in the box Yeah, traditionally, yeah

ashley (21:03.228)
That's not, I think traditionally, should I say traditionally, like when you look at like most cases, the woman is cheating for some kind of emotional thing that they're missing or some connection that they're trying to get or like emotionally because they've been damaged from being cheated on kind of thing. And men can be so straightforward that it's like,

Shannon (21:07.986)
Right, right.

Shun (21:16.727)
Yes, effect.

Shannon (21:19.333)
you

Shun (21:27.991)
Yeah.

ashley (21:31.393)
Bam-bam. Thank you ma'am. It's no emotion tied to it So that's why they feel so much more damaged when they find out that a woman has cheated because They feel like well you actually was invested You know you was vested with this dude and you have feelings and I could I don't even know this lady's name but I guess for me is still like going back to what you said about caring about somebody's feelings and hear about those things. It's like

Shannon (21:33.314)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shun (21:34.403)
That's right.

Shannon (21:45.286)
Yeah, yeah.

ashley (21:59.712)
Well, regardless, even though it doesn't hold the same weight for a man, it's kind of like, you know how it feels on the other foot. So why would you call something on somebody that you don't want done unto you?

Shun (22:14.233)
That's a full fact and and I want to say something to that point which is a very good point Ashley and that point is this Men cheat physically like you said when I'm thinking man, don't know that lady name and they might do that with ten women but a woman can cheat with one man and then one goes standing in middle of the street baby jump off the bridge I So my thing is you know why they do that because they know who you are

Shannon (22:14.324)
Hmm.

ashley (22:14.848)
Period.

ashley (22:32.672)
with the boombox.

Shun (22:43.673)
You know that if my girl or my wife slept with another man, it's something there. She's not just a street girl. She now you're just laying down. So the same pain that that would bring you, the same pain that that would bring you, you should consider that pain. Just like you said, actually, when you were about to cheat on that woman, you get what I'm saying? And if we all keep it 100, if we all keep it clean and all stay faithful, nobody ever have to ride this train. But men often do not think about the long-term emotional damage that they cause.

ashley (22:43.937)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (22:48.898)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

ashley (23:01.142)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (23:08.308)
All right.

ashley (23:11.458)
Right, right. Or even to give you that option. I'm so big on choices. Like, give me a choice of what I'm going through. Yeah, or if it's just like, hey, look, I'm going through some things and mentally I gotta figure some stuff out and I gotta do this. But they get in this thing where they trying to do both. It's like they trying to hold on to you because they want you to be there, but then they trying to, you know.

Shun (23:15.041)
I love it.

Shun (23:19.063)
That's it. Tell me you don't want to be with me anymore. Yeah.

Shannon (23:19.56)
Mm-hmm.

Shannon (23:29.46)
Hmm.

Shun (23:37.049)
Mmmhmmm

ashley (23:41.013)
What is it? Soil? Your oats? Royal? What is it about the oats? Yeah, roll up the oats or something. I don't know. But they trying to do both instead of just, know, sometimes somebody might be with it. You know, somebody might say, all right, well, let's go ahead and just take this break and kind of see if life brings us back. But no, they don't accept that because they, again, going back to what you said, they know what they got. So it's like, they don't want you out here because they don't want the potential for you to possibly

Shun (23:43.257)
Saw your raw oats.

Shannon (23:43.569)
So, yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (23:59.502)
That's it?

Shannon (24:05.704)
Right.

ashley (24:10.592)
get caught onto somebody that looks exactly, exactly.

Shun (24:10.745)
Find what you deserve. What you deserve. I'm gonna hit you. Go ahead.

Shannon (24:13.788)
Yeah, yeah. And when you think about it, yeah, and when you think about, know, especially our men, our black men that we all know of someone, I'm sure, you know, that has been a habitual cheater that cheats or whatever, they typically, probably nine times out of 10, do not leave their wives. They will not leave their wife for nothing. They'll just keep cheating as long as she keeps them, as long as she holds on to them. But a woman,

Shun (24:37.651)
Absolutely not. Now she keeps letting them.

Shannon (24:43.7)
when her heart is gone, know, whatever, when she cheats, usually it's with her heart. And the ones in my family that have gotten divorced after they've met someone else is because, you know, something got them emotionally or their heart or whatever. But the man won't walk away as quickly as a woman will walk away when she cheats and falls for someone else. And so it goes back to, you know,

hey, a man isn't really in it when he's cheating. He's not in it with the other woman. He's just doing something. And I wish we could really understand it. And if we had a male on here, maybe we could get a little bit more insight into that. But they won't leave their wives.

Shun (25:27.577)
Honey, a male wouldn't touch this topic, honey. I call it, like, uh-uh, what's it, what's it, oh no. So listen, because they don't, they be like Steve Harvey, think like a man, they don't want to give away the bro code. But really, truly, they need to do more of that, because that's how they can help each other heal, like women do. Shannon and I are wifey and baby mama, literally, because we help each other heal, and we took that power to help other women heal. It can be done, but they just too much, oh, but.

Shannon (25:31.924)
They said no.

Shannon (25:37.606)
Alright, alright.

Shannon (25:43.284)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right.

Shun (25:53.568)
Ashley, I'm going to tell you, Shannon, we have not had a down south sin. It took four episodes of Ashley done got it out of me. Let me tell you what's going on Ashley in my grandmama voice. They don't want you and they don't want nobody else to have you. That's the down south sin. So it took Ashley to come get a saying out of me.

Shannon (26:00.436)
you

ashley (26:03.555)
Yeah

the truth and that's the truth and and you know yes and but even going back to what what we just said about the man the man cheating versus the woman cheating because I feel like okay women for the most part and not all women of course but for the most part when you in it it's like you trying to see it through because

Shannon (26:13.428)
you

ashley (26:33.118)
You done seen something in them and you thinking it's a phase and you like writing it out and okay, you know, I'ma love him through this. But a man, Lord, that I ain't never, ever seen a stronger black woman than a black man. A black man is gonna be a strong black woman so fast. You cheat on him, he know his value, he know his worth. ain't, he, he's, he.

Shun (26:35.821)
Yeah.

Shannon (26:37.364)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (26:59.466)
Hahaha!

Shannon (26:59.537)
yeah!

ashley (27:02.3)
Look, he done left, packed up, all that before you even got home.

Shun (27:05.407)
Tickle me girl. You don't tickle me Lord. I don't think I had a good laugh like this She ain't lying Shannon that actually that is hilarious actually that is so true, but let me tell you something men Are different creatures from us in the aspect of yeah, they can't dish out what they're taking most times But let me tell you this they know what they got like you like Shannon said so when you do that

ashley (27:11.725)
It's the truth!

Shannon (27:14.9)
That's true. That's true.

ashley (27:15.975)
Hahaha!

Shun (27:33.796)
They feel like your soul, your damage and I'm gonna tell you something. the reason they packed up and gone when you get home is because they know that if you took the time to lay down with somebody else, it wasn't a one time thing. You have researches, you thought about it, you done spent time and you are emotionally attached and nine times out of 10, you're gonna be gone in a little while. So they trying to beat you to the punch because women are not as physical as men. They're not as physical as men. if we don't, like I said, I was pondering going out doing things.

Shannon (27:45.428)
Yeah.

ashley (27:53.971)
No, that's a fact. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shun (28:02.485)
It's because I was building up myself to leave him. You understand what I'm saying? And men know that. And once I lay down with somebody else, consider yourself left because I don't do the back. I don't, I don't ping pong with my body. So men know that when you have a good woman, you know the value of that woman. And if I make it to go sleep with somebody else, you go ahead and pack your stuff up and leave. So I wouldn't be the kind, that's why I reconsidered cheating or trying to do tip for tat. I'm not the kind that's going,

ashley (28:05.98)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's still the deal. Right.

ashley (28:21.222)
No, no, no.

ashley (28:25.67)
Right.

Shannon (28:25.684)
That's right.

Shun (28:31.737)
cheat on you and then we can work it out. Now you see how I feel. No, you're going to be done. So that's why I made a decision to not do that and try to work it out and thank God it worked out. But yeah, that's who men are. They need to get together. But can I tell you what y'all both know? But can I tell you audience who don't know or just may be new to us this season? I'm married to the exact same man who cheated the first time around a thousand times. I'm the same girl. I wasn't a cheater then. I'm not a cheater now. You know what happened this time?

ashley (28:36.21)
Right.

Shannon (29:00.701)
All right.

Shun (29:01.887)
He grew up and became a man and I became a woman that didn't allow it. I allowed it the first time and that's why he did it. The second time around that girl, I told him that little child is dead and gone. This is a grown woman you dealing with and guess what? He bought his grown man and we ain't had that type of issues. So they really kind of only gonna do what you let them actually.

Shannon (29:06.765)
Good. Yeah.

Shannon (29:16.532)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (29:22.91)
Yeah, yeah, that's a fact. And then it's also to where you gotta be able to at some point stand on it too, you know, how you stood on it and to be like, look, and whatever outcome it be, is the outcome it be. Sometimes they spend a block and sometimes it ain't gonna happen.

Shun (29:29.709)
That's a fact. I stood on it.

And guess what? That's what it's gonna be. You got that. You know what I told you? You got that. I cannot stop you from doing what you want to do. I told me go cheat with everybody in Buffalo, Charlotte and Syracuse and you can go fly over to Africa and get you a few, but you can't be with me. And that's all I did. That's the only thing I did this time around. And that's the God's on the street. You just can't be with me. All right. So.

Shannon (29:39.056)
That's right.

ashley (29:57.168)
Thank you.

Shannon (29:59.477)
All right.

Shun (30:03.049)
Got anything else Ashley you want to bring to it?

ashley (30:06.558)
I don't think so.

Shun (30:09.003)
All right, Shannon, you got anything else? If not, I'll wrap it up and we can move on.

Shannon (30:13.598)
Well, we can wrap it up.

Shun (30:15.321)
Well tonight's wrap-up is gonna be real simple like it was last week if you don't want to do the crime, I'm sorry

ashley (30:23.165)
I didn't want to add something though because you talk we talked we did talk about the cheating but I did want to know what's your deal breakers because I Do feel like sometimes you said these bound when you like when you got young love and you Really don't know what it looks like to really have a real relationship You set all these boundaries right and you set all these things that you're gonna do But then when you really start getting in a relationship

Shun (30:25.548)
Okay.

Shun (30:39.875)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (30:50.809)
It's things you start accepting or start taking, but then it does get to a point where it's like, all right, hands down that happened. I'm not dealing with it. That's a deal breaker. do any of your boundaries change or it was a certain stuff that it's like, you know, I used to feel that way and now I don't feel so tight about that, but I feel more strong about this kind of thing.

Shun (30:58.636)
Okay.

Shannon (30:59.412)
Hmm.

Shun (31:12.461)
You want to take a shit?

Shannon (31:12.948)
Yeah. Yeah. So for me, yeah, if it is, I mean, in a marriage, and I'm only going to speak from a married woman's standpoint, you know, if my husband were to, you know, habitually cheat or if I was constantly catching him and stuff, you know, that would be something. If it's a rumor type thing, I would have to hunt it down. I know me.

If I heard something, if I suspect it's something, I would go after the truth. And if I found the truth, I don't know. You know, I'd have to deal with it at that point to say, OK, where do I go from here? How do I move? I don't have a ready answer. Like a lot of people say, no, I'd be out of there. no, I'd be done. You know, once you're married and you say the vows, it's a situational thing. When you're in it,

What do you do? And then, like I said, I'd have to have some proof. I'd have to have pictures. I'd have to hire private eye. I mean, it could not be, he said or she said someone came and I saw whatever. No, show me the absolute proof. And then I will take it and go from there. And more than likely, I would have to say, you know, I would probably be out knowing me because I got married so much later in life.

I don't have kids with my husband. I don't have those type of, how people stay together for the kids. And I get that. I understand as long as it's you're healthy in the household, you do want your kids to grow up with their mother and father in the same house in a healthy appearance of health, yeah, environment. But if my husband were to do something today and I had that in front of me, this is what he did.

Shun (32:59.245)
environment.

Shannon (33:09.788)
I'm thinking I'd be out, but like I said, I don't have a ready answer for that because I'd have to go with what I feel. But deal breaker would definitely be if I've caught you time and time again doing this and doing that. Yeah, probably after one or two times of the proof, you know, no doubt about it. It wouldn't be situational at that point. I'm out.

Shun (33:31.085)
Well, for me, Ashley, real quick, I'll take it and we'll wrap up. I think Shannon spoke from a married point of view. And so I am a married woman at this time. I've also been with my husband when I wasn't married to him. And I'm going to tell you that the only person that can really answer that deal breaker question is the person in the relationship. And I'll tell you why. Your boundary, your last call may not be mine. Your final straw may not be my final straw. I can only say this.

in the situation of a non-married couple. You know what you're worth and so does that man. My husband knew what I was worth. Jimmy thought he was about to play around with me for a whole lot of years when I came back. I finally, I said, hey, I want to get remarried. He said, yeah, we can. One year, two year, three year goes by. Finally, I said to him, okay, I'll tell you what, I don't think you're ready to marry and that's totally fine. So I need you to get your crap, get on out and I'm gonna go about my life. And that's what we did for about four months.

On that fifth month, that new girl was knocking with a ring because he said, all right, I'm ready. I said, no, no, don't marry me for me. Marry me for you. He said, yeah, I wanted to make sure it was all going on my system. It's gone now. And thank God we haven't had any incidents. So I think they'll drag you, Shannon, as long as you let them. I think they'll run from it and not dragging you in a sense of cheating. I think they'll run from it because that's a big commitment. That's a big commitment. And they will run from it as long as they can.

Shannon (34:31.336)
Thank

Shannon (34:54.259)
Right.

Shun (34:56.397)
But I'm going to say if they not out here in the streets running around, if it's just little minute things, I would say get counseling. See if it's something that you can be fixed, that can be fixed and you can tolerate. But the bottom line is if you're tired of this certain thing and they continue to do that certain thing, whether cheating or not, I say you move on and be happy. I don't condone anybody, anybody giving up their piece for another person that's not committed to that. I just don't believe in that. Keep your peace at all costs.

Shannon (35:21.908)
Right.

Shun (35:25.163)
You're responsible for your own peace. That's what I learned and I was willing to let Jimmy go Yeah, I was willing to let Jimmy go for my own peace But thank god, you know, he saw otherwise and here we are But yeah, I was willing to let him go for my own peace. That has to be important to us ladies and gentlemen

ashley (35:28.443)
Yep.

Shannon (35:28.648)
yeah, I like that.

ashley (35:36.035)
and

ashley (35:39.651)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Shannon (35:42.472)
love that.

ashley (35:44.091)
Absolutely.

Shun (35:45.731)
So that's our answer. I hope it helps. I know neither one of them was exactly right.

ashley (35:50.462)
Well, I was just, well, you know, I wasn't, you know, I just was curious because, you know, I personally just, you know, being in long relationships and things and then being in a relationship, you know, sometimes you things be looking a certain way and then once you hit it, you you handle it differently, you know.

Shun (36:10.797)
Yeah, you get complacent too when you've been with someone so long.

Shannon (36:11.028)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (36:13.276)
And that too, and that too, and even when you're talking about the marriage and stuff like that too, I come to learn children is a bigger commitment than marriage. And Miss Shannon was even talking about how she doesn't have children with her husband. And I just feel like that's the almost more important, that commitment because especially when a man is running from marriage and y'all got children together, it's like, we like them for life if we get married or not. If we didn't have children.

Shun (36:23.737)
Sure enough.

Shannon (36:24.02)
Hmm

Shun (36:41.825)
That's right. That's right.

Shannon (36:41.917)
Right.

ashley (36:43.227)
If we did have children and I was married to you, I could walk away with mine and you walk away with yours and I ain't never got to see you in my life. But I'm committed to you once I have this child with you, whether we together or not. I got to see you for the next probably at least 20, 26 years.

Shannon (36:49.992)
Yeah. Yeah.

Shun (36:50.009)
That's true.

Shun (36:58.755)
Hey Live and we know that Shannon we just had a situation with our kids Yeah for life you gotta you gotta see each other for life So in the end in the end people is your decision is just like anything else a situational What are you willing to put up with what are you willing to do because it's thought it's successful Good co-parented situations too because my third daughter is not my husband and she and I and her father my husband are friends for life So it's good. It's good

Shannon (37:00.238)
No life 37 years.

ashley (37:03.972)
Yeah

Shannon (37:07.378)
Yeah, yeah.

ashley (37:16.621)
Mm-hmm.

ashley (37:21.775)
Yeah.

ashley (37:27.675)
Mm-hmm.

Shun (37:28.353)
successful situation parenting situations that I don't have to be having you roll over looking at my face every night playing with me. So it's up to you. You know, it's up to you. But all right, lady, we are past our time here. It has been a beautiful conversation and I can go another half hour, but that's not what our show allows. So if you ladies are all done, I'll wrap it up. All right, so we'll wrap up with this. If you do not want to do the crying people.

ashley (37:34.477)
I don't know.

Shannon (37:35.092)
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, I have.

ashley (37:50.199)
Yes, ma'am.

Shannon (37:50.324)
All right.

Shun (37:57.326)
time, don't do the crime. If you don't want to be drilled, if you don't want to be held accountable, don't go out here doing crazy stuff. Now that's just a cliche. That's just a cliche. The real important point here is I think Ashley even said it and I'm going to read what I picked up on that I need to leave you with tonight is don't do to people what you don't want done to you. And you can avoid a lot of heartache and drama. Be good to yourself by being an honorable partner and you can take care of each other the rest of your life.

Shannon (37:58.645)
That's right.

ashley (37:59.706)
that.

ashley (38:04.619)
Right.

ashley (38:18.106)
and

you

Shun (38:27.043)
Just don't do to anybody else what you don't want done to you. And that's the bottom line.

ashley (38:27.657)
and

you

Shun (38:34.253)
Alright, let's move.

ashley (38:34.362)
me.

Shannon (38:37.766)
All right, on to the sound off.

Shun (38:41.849)
All right, we've come to the sound off segment of our show and this is where we announce a song related to the topic of tonight While also hoping to add to your musical playlist in your genres. Okay, so this one is of a different class tonight This is a country song. This is from Kaylee Rose. That's K. E. No, I'm sorry K. A. Y. L. E. E. Rose Kaylee Rose cheating It's a good song. I suggest you guys go listen to it. It's a it's a different template and palette for you for your listening ears

Shannon (39:06.836)
Shun (39:11.961)
Kaylee Rose, cheating. As soon as we log off, I need y'all to go hit it and take a listen. All right, audience, that's y'all signing for tonight. All right, baby mountain. Where can they send their musical selections to?

Shannon (39:20.788)
All right. Yes, if you have a song you would like us to take into consideration or if you have questions or feedback, please email us at wifeyandbabymama.com. Once again, it's wifeyandbabymama.com.

All right, we want to thank you, Ashley, once again for joining us. We've enjoyed this topic and the conversation tonight has been interesting and hopefully it impacts someone. So that is our show for tonight.

Shun (39:59.051)
Absolutely.

Shun (40:02.839)
We love you all. You are so welcome, sweetheart. We'll help to come back again. You gave me a good laugh. I'm usually the comedic one, so I enjoyed being able to laugh tonight. All right, guys, we love you all. Goodbye.

ashley (40:03.117)
Thank you ladies for having me.

Shannon (40:06.74)
Thank

Shannon (40:10.42)
you